Strangest thing you have heard a kid say

Right before Christmas I walked by a Mom and her son and overheard her say "No honey, reindeers don't eat people". I laughed my butt off.

I think that was me.....lol

I get that all the time

"Miss what do i have to do to get suspended? What would it take for you to send me to ISS?"

Tell they that they have to behave well, be polite, do their homework and excel in exams ... for a whole term. Explain that this deviation from their usual behavior will so psyche out the school, their peers and their parents that they will be suspended for a month while the issue is investigated.

(Well, it's worth a shot

In high school I was the one who kept the Quote Book... I logged all sorts of things my peers would say. Later when they read them they would laugh and have to be told of the circumstances where they said certain things. A few of my favorites were

"Do you know who I am Mrs. Porter?! Ronald McDonald is my real father!" - the redhead kid whos family owns the local McDonalds
"I swear to God... if you don't back off I'm shoving my big toe in your nostril!"
"But do you like peanut butter more than you like penis?" - sweetest girl in the class
"I can't believe I'm pregnant again.. but I guess the first thing to do is figure out if it's mine..." - freshman moron that made me want to scream
"I am NOT an alcoholic! I am Skoltar... intergalactic HERO!' -.... I think that may have been me.

My daughter says some weird stuff. She's 4. The other day, I was relaxing in the tub and she came running into the bathroom, tore off a piece of toilet paper, dropped it in the toilet and closed the lid. Then she left. She came back a second later and did it again. I asked her to quit wasting toilet paper and she told me, "I'm sending a message to the toilet fairy!" When asked what kind of fairy lives in a toilet, she looked at me like I was stupid and said "a PEE fairy..."

Also, my friend's daughter had a crush on this boy in her kindergarten class, and she gushed to her mom one day about how "Gio is soooo cute. He has the BEST tan!" When Sara finally got a chance to meet Gio-of-the-glorious-tan, it turned out that he was black. I laughed so hard! She was right though. He was soooo cute. :P

One of the girl I have in my dayhome told me ''Melissa, you are as white as Eminem'' I was like WHAT?!? And she proceeds to rap a song....This is coming from a 4 years old....yikes, I didn't know Kids were listening to that kind of music....

My son is infamous for blurting out strange things at inappropriate times.....latest ones have been: Standing in line at the gas station and he yells out "I"M A CHEETAH...RAAAWWWRRRR" Dropped down to all fours and started growling at the other customers or "Mom, I don't like that dog, he's a basket" Me:"A basket?????" Him: "Yeah it's a bad word and i'm sorry i said it but that dog...he's just a basket"

I get that all the time

"Miss what do i have to do to get suspended? What would it take for you to send me to ISS?"

Tell they that they have to behave well, be polite, do their homework and excel in exams ... for a whole term. Explain that this deviation from their usual behavior will so psyche out the school, their peers and their parents that they will be suspended for a month while the issue is investigated.

(Well, it's worth a shot

why is it the more i read about High School kids antics the more I want that to be the job i go back to whenever i return to work? I'm not even qualified for regular teaching but are these kids hard enough to get teachers for that they might just let me in?

I've posted this before. .but It's so good!

So my kid sometimes requires me to squat in front of the toilet while he's on it and he lays his head down on my knees. . .don't ask. .

Anyway, he's laying down on my knees and he says "I like yours better, because when mommy does it, my head goes down there and I smell something weird. ."

Of course I almost choked to death at this point but I manage to say: "Oh really Russell, what does it smell like?". .

"I dunno. . Dead Squirrels?"

(don't worry, we're already divorced ) )

oh no!!! Not Dead Squirrels - :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: This just made my day that is hilarious!
Reminds of my daughter when she was 5. She claimed to know what that body part on a girl a called.
She said, Mommy , I know what that's called down there.
And I said, you do? well what is it? (and I only asked because I could hardly imagine she really knew)
And so she didn't answer right away...she's thinking real hard....and finally she says...It rhymes with.......(long pause, as my eyes get ginormous wondering what the heck is going to come out of her mouth)......."M"ROTCH!
Oh jesus I about peed myself!

My little can't pronounce her L's very well. She's 3 and it's still hard for her, but not nearly as bad as it used to be. Anyhow, there was a 4th of July parade in our neighborhood and when the cars and "floats" went by with people waving "flags"...she starts screaming "LOOK, IT'S A FLAG PARADE; I LOVE FLAGS!!!" Only it didn't sound like flags with no L. lol. Luckily it was so noisy, no one else noticed what was really coming out of her mouth.

Unfortunately, it didn't play out that in Target when we were in the decor section and she spotted the "clocks". :blushing: And not just clocks. It was "mama, look at the great big clock!" and "hey, there's a little tiny clock; it's so cute". We've been working on telling time so she's SUPER excited about clocks...lmao

My little can't pronounce her L's very well. She's 3 and it's still hard for her, but not nearly as bad as it used to be. Anyhow, there was a 4th of July parade in our neighborhood and when the cars and "floats" went by with people waving "flags"...she starts screaming "LOOK, IT'S A FLAG PARADE; I LOVE FLAGS!!!" Only it didn't sound like flags with no L. lol. Luckily it was so noisy, no one else noticed what was really coming out of her mouth.

Unfortunately, it didn't play out that in Target when we were in the decor section and she spotted the "clocks". :blushing: And not just clocks. It was "mama, look at the great big clock!" and "hey, there's a little tiny clock; it's so cute". We've been working on telling time so she's SUPER excited about clocks...lmao

:laugh: :laugh: :sad: :laugh: :laugh: