Strangest thing you have heard a kid say

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  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
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    The girl I watch talks about the fish that live in her brain and do her work for her.

    She's also asked what animal corn comes from
  • sarantonio
    sarantonio Posts: 880 Member
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    My son just came home from school and said "Everyone thinks it'd be so cool to have a baby elephant. Its not. Think about all that poop, its not like they use the toilet, they'd just poop right on the floor, stink up the whole house and everything." LMAO:laugh:
  • theskinnyonme
    theskinnyonme Posts: 443 Member
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    Mom how big of a shark would it take to swallow me whole?
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
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    When I was pregnant with my son and walking my daughter, we passed a man with a huge beer belly (he was shirtless... :P) and my daughter in her wisdom of a nearly 2 years, said quite loudly, "MOMMY THAT MAN"S GONNA HAVE A BABY JUST LIKE YOU!"
  • gr8pillock
    gr8pillock Posts: 374 Member
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    "Mommy, when I grow up, if I have a daughter like you I'm going to name her diarrhea."
    "Is that so?"
    "Yep. Diarrhea. Diaaaaaarrheeeea. Poop."
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
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    "Mommy, when I grow up, can I marry daddy?" um.... don't think you're gonna want him ... lol!!!!
  • lisa483
    lisa483 Posts: 105 Member
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    Both mine are goofy as hell
    My favorites are when my son (7) barged into the bathroom and I was doing the "brazillian butt lift pencil test" and he ran out laughing and yelling "Mom is trying to put a pencil up her butt!"

    And my daughter (4) ask if she could grow a "moose-stache" when she gets older, when I told her no she sadly replied "But I alweady do take my bite-a-mins!!"

    Edit: Oh, when my niece was 4 she had a habit of screaming "oh my nuts!" when she fell, she's the only girl of 4

    These made me LOL in work haha, kids are so funny
  • kgibson17
    kgibson17 Posts: 23
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    My 4 year old son asked my husband when we were in the hot tub one day, "why do you have dog hair on your chest daddy?" I couldn't help but laugh!
  • MeanSophieCat
    MeanSophieCat Posts: 200 Member
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    My two year old son is wise beyond his years.

    "Ronald McDonald is a little scary. He's an advertisement."
  • resolvedtobefit
    resolvedtobefit Posts: 55 Member
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    I was working at a grocery store and was at a cash register. This kid was riding in the basket when he stood up, smiled great big and shouted out "UNDER PANTS!". I about died laughing.
  • BrittBritt12321
    BrittBritt12321 Posts: 247 Member
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    My neice tells me "BrittBritt, my feet said they wanna walk around!" (She wanted to go for a walk) & "My tummy says it wants to eat something!"
  • gimpygramma
    gimpygramma Posts: 383 Member
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    I was playing with my three year old grandson and needed a bathroom break. He was reluctant to interupt our game and as I started out of the room, he called after me,
    Pee fast, Nana.
  • Davina_JH
    Davina_JH Posts: 473 Member
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    Me, my husband, and our 4-year-old (at the time) son were at the park. My son was talking to another woman there with her children and said to her "do you see that man standing over there with that girl (me)? That's my dad!"
    THAT is funny!
  • Davina_JH
    Davina_JH Posts: 473 Member
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    My 4 year old son asked my husband when we were in the hot tub one day, "why do you have dog hair on your chest daddy?" I couldn't help but laugh!
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • kellyr730
    kellyr730 Posts: 44 Member
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    When my daughter was about 6 we were watching a Christmas movie one night and she looked at me and goes "Santa needs to be on the naughty list" and I asked her why. She said "because he says Ho and that's a bad word" then her sister asked me what a Ho was...lol
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
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    When my son was about 5, we sent him to vacation bible school (summer camp). We were driving somewhere afterward, and I heard a lot of soft child chatter in the back seat - he was just talking away to no one, and not loud enough that I could hear. Then I heard... "and that's how Jesus became one of the living dead." :laugh:
  • IRollC30
    IRollC30 Posts: 54 Member
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    I work for a school system and was working inside of a 4th grade class recently. The teacher was reviewing fractions on the Smart Board and was having the students read back the fraction on the board. The little chunky kid beside me, poor thing, read his fractions off fine, except for the last one.

    The screen had 1/5, he read "One fifth" which was correct.

    Next, the screen had 1/4, he read "One fourth" which was correct.

    Next, the screen had 1/3, and he read "One third" which was also correct

    The last one on the screen was 1/2 and he read "One two-th" - I literally busted out laughing. He said it so convincingly I just couldn't help myself.
  • ElyseL1
    ElyseL1 Posts: 504 Member
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    i have a rottweiler mix and two toddlers were walking with their moms. and they pointed at my dog and said look its growing a tail! me and my husband could barely keep a straight face.
  • ldonahue74
    ldonahue74 Posts: 53 Member
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    at christmas time, as i was walking past, a little girl about 5 or 6 was pulling her mother over to a display of playboy lingerie. and i heard the mother say (surprised) "you want THAT for christmas???" and the girl responded that "yes, its BEEEYOOOTIFUL"
  • twinkiemon
    twinkiemon Posts: 216 Member
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    This was probably the funniest one from my office:

    Dr. I (Dentist): "Do you like to eat candy?"
    4-year-old patient: "I eat it sometimes, but I never eat poop. If you eat poop, you die!"

    That was probably 2 years ago, but I still remember it because that little boy made us laugh so hard.

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