What have you learned from your relationships?

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Replies

  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    This just happened so it's fresh on my mind.


    When he does something really, really, really stupid....


    (Pause for the dramatic eye roll)


    bite tongue and refrain from saying "told ya so!"

    :grumble:
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    Love unabashedly and trust people until they give you a reason not to. If you never put yourself in a position where you could get hurt, you will miss out on a lot of really great things. Risk your heart. If you are wrong, you will heal.
    This.

    I only want a relationship that I feel safe and free in. A relationship in which I have to worry is one that needs to be over. I trust my partner as much as I will ever trust him from day 1. Once that trust is diminished to whatever degree causes a shift in our dynamics, I can leave with a clear conscience. There is no "earning it back," only the option to part amicably while we still can.

    And as deeply as I have been hurt, I always love as though I never have. It's always been worth it.
  • freshvl
    freshvl Posts: 422 Member
    I've learned not to trust, watch my feelings and hold back as much as possible, also helps if i pretend to be an *kitten*, treat women like **** and ignore them and they come running.

    What have i learned most? It's easier if you learn not to love.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I've learned not to trust, watch my feelings and hold back as much as possible, also helps if i pretend to be an *kitten*, treat women like **** and ignore them and they come running.

    What have i learned most? It's easier if you learn not to love.

    WHO HURT YOU?!?
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member

    ETA: Hey, this is my 2000th post!

    fillion-off-come-my-pants_zpse124ec47.gif

    :laugh:
  • crazytreelady
    crazytreelady Posts: 752 Member
    Bickering is completely different than fighting... When you start throwing dishes at each other, then you have to worry.


    It was a steel toe capped boot and a jug of cold water than made me think... yeah this isn't right, :-/ he totally deserved both... I just wish it hadn't taken me 9 and a half years, ironically both were the same incident.

    So far I have not thrown anything at my new mr lol 9 months in xx


    Ahh, more so it was a "eureka" for me and my SO..... We don't ever like "yell fight"..... If that makes any sense... Another gal I know once said that I didn't understand why her and her boyfriend fought too much because I didn't live with mine, but now we do.... Never once has a plate been thrown or voice raised.

    Sure, we bicker, but it always ends in laughter.


    And I am sure he did haha... Serious.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    I would be receptive to an "open" marriage anyday.

    I think this will become much more readily accepted one day, similarly to how homosexuality has become more widely accepted in society (besides ancient Greek and Roman societies that is).
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    Love unabashedly and trust people until they give you a reason not to. If you never put yourself in a position where you could get hurt, you will miss out on a lot of really great things. Risk your heart. If you are wrong, you will heal.

    This is lovely. :smile:
  • oudixon
    oudixon Posts: 389 Member
    I would be receptive to an "open" marriage anyday.

    I think this will become much more readily accepted one day, similarly to how homosexuality has become more widely accepted in society (besides ancient Greek and Roman societies that is).


    Just isn't becoming as accepted as fast as it should! But things are getting better.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    I've learned not to ignore the little red flags, the deal breakers and the things I absolutely despise just because I don't want to be alone. I have learned that being alone is never lonely if you love yourself. I have learned I deserve much more than I've settled for in the past and that if someone wants me, they'll need to show me they are amazing...because I will be single until that day comes.

    Edited to add: Despite what I've been through I always give people the benefit of the doubt and I truly believe chivalry isn't dead.

    OMG this is perfect, I try too ignore the red flags or annoyances in the beginning and they always creep back up, and I think ahhh I knew better right from the start. I listen to my gut first and let my heart follow.
    I give the benefit of the doubt, sometimes wish I hadn't.
    Walking away from guys that just aren't that into me, Is #1 for me now.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    I would be receptive to an "open" marriage anyday.

    I think this will become much more readily accepted one day, similarly to how homosexuality has become more widely accepted in society (besides ancient Greek and Roman societies that is).


    Just isn't becoming as accepted as fast as it should! But things are getting better.

    It takes courage to stray from what is conventionally accepted. Some people have the role of being pioneers in life. :smile:
  • foxro
    foxro Posts: 793 Member
    I would be receptive to an "open" marriage anyday.

    I think this will become much more readily accepted one day, similarly to how homosexuality has become more widely accepted in society (besides ancient Greek and Roman societies that is).


    Just isn't becoming as accepted as fast as it should! But things are getting better.

    Marriage is not a licence. It is the personal contract two people make to each other. Make your personal contract !!!
  • oudixon
    oudixon Posts: 389 Member
    I would be receptive to an "open" marriage anyday.

    I think this will become much more readily accepted one day, similarly to how homosexuality has become more widely accepted in society (besides ancient Greek and Roman societies that is).


    Just isn't becoming as accepted as fast as it should! But things are getting better.

    It takes courage to stray from what is conventionally accepted. Some people have the role of being pioneers in life. :smile:

    I agree, as a teacher I have been surprised and pleased on how much and how accepting teens are of each other and encouraging! Definitely nice to see.
  • Momf3boys
    Momf3boys Posts: 1,637 Member
    I have learned that your gut instinct is usually correct and also NEVER let someone borrow money.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    Love unabashedly and trust people until they give you a reason not to. If you never put yourself in a position where you could get hurt, you will miss out on a lot of really great things. Risk your heart. If you are wrong, you will heal.

    :heart:
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Patience.
    Forgiveness.
    Humility.

    What it really to mean love someone for who they are *and* who they will become and not who I think they are or should be.
  • dirtnap63
    dirtnap63 Posts: 1,387 Member
    Mutual respect is just as, if not more, important than mutual attraction. If you have both life can be very sweet and rewarding.
  • Lucia120382
    Lucia120382 Posts: 427
    I need to be more adventurous and take risks
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    that perhaps I should just stay single...
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    :ohwell:
  • JimLeonardRN
    JimLeonardRN Posts: 296 Member
    That until I learned to love myself more all I had been was an empty vessel trying to fill myself up with all the wrong things. Food, alcohol, women, you name it! It took me hitting rock bottom for me to realize that not only was I hurting myself but everyone I came into contact with!
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
    That i shouldnt settle.
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
    I've learned not to trust, watch my feelings and hold back as much as possible, also helps if i pretend to be an *kitten*, treat women like **** and ignore them and they come running.

    What have i learned most? It's easier if you learn not to love.

    Saddest damn thing I've read all day. And I've read some sad things today.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Too much to list here, but I've learned from threads like this to be damn thankful for the relationship I have.
  • Susan_Rae_1
    Susan_Rae_1 Posts: 154 Member
    I've learned not to trust, watch my feelings and hold back as much as possible, also helps if i pretend to be an *kitten*, treat women like **** and ignore them and they come running.

    What have i learned most? It's easier if you learn not to love.

    Saddest damn thing I've read all day. And I've read some sad things today.

    Sad - yes.
  • Hbazzell
    Hbazzell Posts: 899 Member
    Know the difference between making compromises and settling, never settle and never rule out compromise
  • Susan_Rae_1
    Susan_Rae_1 Posts: 154 Member
    I've learned that you cannot expect other people to provide you your happiness. Figure out what makes you happy, really happy, and make sure you have that under control. Also make sure you really love yourself and that you're not just looking for someone to give you the love you've been unable to give yourself. Make sure you truly know yourself before involving someone else because if you rely on them for these things they will likely fail to provide them for you and you will both be miserable in the end.

    Good stuff.:heart:
  • freshvl
    freshvl Posts: 422 Member
    some say sad, some say reality
    In the words of Leonard Cohen

    Maybe there’s a God above
    But all I’ve ever learned from love
    Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
    It’s not a cry you can hear at night
    It’s not somebody who has seen the light
    It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Too much to list here, but I've learned from threads like this to be damn thankful for the relationship I have.

    Also this.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    I've learned not to trust, watch my feelings and hold back as much as possible, also helps if i pretend to be an *kitten*, treat women like **** and ignore them and they come running.

    What have i learned most? It's easier if you learn not to love.

    Saddest damn thing I've read all day. And I've read some sad things today.

    Sad - yes.

    That's some screwed up woman who would "come running" when treated like sh-t & ignored. I certainly don't, just the opposite. It's good to not get jaded just cause someone was too BLEEP to appreciate you and treat you right.

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