What have you learned from your relationships?

1246

Replies

  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
    If you have any doubt in your mind whatsoever, it's not meant to be.

    I had niggling doubts in my head about my ex about how I felt about him, and I ignored them. Towards the end I ended up resenting him because I realised I was 'settling'.

    I've been single for around 9 months now, and I've never been happier :drinker:
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
    Don't date a whiny, emotionally stunted, man child
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
    I've learned not to trust, watch my feelings and hold back as much as possible, also helps if i pretend to be an *kitten*, treat women like **** and ignore them and they come running.

    What have i learned most? It's easier if you learn not to love.

    Saddest damn thing I've read all day. And I've read some sad things today.

    Sad - yes.

    That's some screwed up woman who would "come running" when treated like sh-t & ignored. I certainly don't, just the opposite. It's good to not get jaded just cause someone was too BLEEP to appreciate you and treat you right.

    My bf has said similar things, that a lot of girls say they just want a nice guy then ignore the nice guy for the bad boy type
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
    That I'm just as flawed as my husband, and require forgiveness.

    To be each other's best cheerleaders.

    *From past relationships:

    Don't get involved just because you're bored.

    Don't date younger, shy idyllic boys who you would just bulldoze over with your gigantic personality if given half the chance.

    If they feel like a younger brother, that won't change.
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
    Be honest about your expectations, even if it means it's not going to work out
  • CuteWittleWifey
    CuteWittleWifey Posts: 60
    I've learned to not punish my husband for the damage done by an ex in the past.

    I have also learned that if I need something instead of assuming he knows what I need, I clearly spell it out for him. Makes everyone's life so much easier that way.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    Love unabashedly and trust people until they give you a reason not to. If you never put yourself in a position where you could get hurt, you will miss out on a lot of really great things. Risk your heart. If you are wrong, you will heal.

    Abso-freaking-lutely
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    some say sad, some say reality
    In the words of Leonard Cohen

    Maybe there’s a God above
    But all I’ve ever learned from love
    Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
    It’s not a cry you can hear at night
    It’s not somebody who has seen the light
    It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

    I think you need to remember that not everyone is the same. Everyone gets hurt in life. The important thing is that everyone can heal. Stop dwelling on the negative aspects.
  • Momf3boys
    Momf3boys Posts: 1,637 Member
    Don't date a whiny, emotionally stunted, man child

    ^^this
  • marinebiologist_girl
    marinebiologist_girl Posts: 300
    1. What have you learned about yourself and how have you grown and changed (for the better hopefully) as a result of being in a relationship?
    That I'm asexual, biromantic, and polyamorous, and lucky as all heck to have a steady other half who is understanding of it all.

    2. What have you learned about being in relationships in general?
    I've also learned to talk, and let talk. Especially as the relationship that I'm in, coming up to 2 years in July, has been long-distance since day 1 and we've only been together (not including before he moved to Canada) for 2 weeks. If we don't talk we both worry, and then worry it's our fault, especially if the other is having a bit of a downer. We're both on the same page with how fast we want things to go and how we want our future to be, but without talking... stress. Simple as.

    3. What would you do/ not do again?
    Do not try a long-distance relationship until I was absolutely sure. Do not rebound on a best friend (still a very, very close friend, mind you, it just didn't work between us, what with us both rebounding). Do not blame yourself for everything. Do not keep your feelings shut up for over a year before speaking out, you might be surprised to find the friend zone does not exist.
  • marinebiologist_girl
    marinebiologist_girl Posts: 300
    If you have any doubt in your mind whatsoever, it's not meant to be.

    I had niggling doubts in my head about my ex about how I felt about him, and I ignored them. Towards the end I ended up resenting him because I realised I was 'settling'.

    I've been single for around 9 months now, and I've never been happier :drinker:
    All power to you, love! :drinker:
  • Raybug0903
    Raybug0903 Posts: 86 Member
    When your SO only talks to you because he or she needs or wants something (and for no other reason) there is a huge problem!
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
    Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and Ex's are a pain in Uranus!

    :laugh: OMG, definitely this :laugh:
  • CaffeinatedConfectionist
    CaffeinatedConfectionist Posts: 1,046 Member
    That sometimes, you're just better off alone! :drinker:
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
    Can't get in a bad/abusive relationship if you don't date anyone.
    Problem solved
  • FitandFab33
    FitandFab33 Posts: 718 Member
    When they show you who they are.. believe them!
  • ApexLeader
    ApexLeader Posts: 580 Member
    i learned that being single is best
  • helloimadam
    helloimadam Posts: 1
    I've learned that joint bank accounts are for fools and masochists. Keep your money separate, and then you should have nothing to fight about financially.
  • leighdiane91
    leighdiane91 Posts: 225 Member
    That sometimes, you're just better off alone! :drinker:

    cheers to that! :drinker:
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    People don't change.
  • Davina_JH
    Davina_JH Posts: 473 Member
    sigh... to read more of these later...
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    People don't change.

    so true.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    People don't change.

    so true.

    Not true in my case. I've changed plenty.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    People don't change.

    so true.

    Not true in my case. I've changed plenty.

    Same here.
  • Amy62575
    Amy62575 Posts: 422 Member
    People don't change.

    People DO change. But it's in their own time, their own way and we can't make them do it any sooner or how we want.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    People don't change.

    They do if they really want to but you can't change them, you can only change yourself
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    If your boyfriend hits you when he's angry, leave right then and don't look back.
  • believe1922
    believe1922 Posts: 59 Member
    I have learned that it is so important to communicate...but it's so hard when all I do is get shut out...idk if I should keep trying to talk with him or just put an end to it, just seems like no matter what I do its never good enough for him..maybe I'm just not good enough : (
  • JellyBeanQueen86
    JellyBeanQueen86 Posts: 670
    some say sad, some say reality
    In the words of Leonard Cohen

    Maybe there’s a God above
    But all I’ve ever learned from love
    Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
    It’s not a cry you can hear at night
    It’s not somebody who has seen the light
    It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

    I think you need to remember that not everyone is the same. Everyone gets hurt in life. The important thing is that everyone can heal. Stop dwelling on the negative aspects.

    ^^^ This!
  • Imadarkswan
    Imadarkswan Posts: 113 Member
    1. What have you learned about yourself and how have you grown and changed (for the better hopefully) as a result of being in a relationship?
    That I trust other people way to easily. That the only person you can rely on is yourself.

    2. What have you learned about being in relationships in general?
    That I would rather be alone or have a physical relationship only

    3. What would you do/ not do again?
    I would not marry again.

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