Why do women do it to each other?

emmabeckemeyer1
emmabeckemeyer1 Posts: 298 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Yesterday at the gym two older teenagers walked into the body pump class. One of the teens was over weight and the other was very thin. They started the class and the thin one was not even trying and was laughing at the other who was trying to workout. She was telling her she looked stupid and the class was a joke. The bigger teen was ignoring her and kept trying but when she lost her balance (she did not fall) the thin girl said, "told you you couldn't do it." They both left.
It broke my heart to see one trying to get fit and the other "friend" putting her down!! Why are women so mean to each other?
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Replies

  • Loftearmen
    Loftearmen Posts: 380
    I don't know why but they really are mean. I've seen it in the work place moreso than anywhere else. They always seem to be jealous or suspicious of the other girls in the office. It's ridiculous and unprofessional. Furthermore, it seems to only be directed towards other women.
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    I don't understand it either. I know it's not all women, but it seems to be most of them. I've always gotten along better with men because I'm not into being catty and mean just for the sake of it. Maybe it has to do with insecurity or wanting to feel like they're above someone else?

    I hope the other gal returns to class without her "friend" so she can keep trying.
  • kaybelieve
    kaybelieve Posts: 118
    We're jealous
  • omma_to_3
    omma_to_3 Posts: 3,265 Member
    I think your question is really more about teenagers. As a whole, I don't see women as 'mean'. Yes, some are, but not any that I associate with LOL.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    There are just some particularly unpleasant females who just never develop past the junior high mentality of putting other females down. Thankfully there are plenty more of us who put their insecurities aside and help to support and lift up their fellow females (and male friends too).

    Also, in the OP's examples, we're not talking about women, we're talking about girls. If they're still teenages, or even in their early 20's, more than likely they still have a lot of growing up to do. Hopefully the bigger girl will grow a spine and realize she doesn't need friends like that in her life.
  • Gemini_at_36
    Gemini_at_36 Posts: 207
    I don't think it's women,,,they are still children...and children can be very cruel to each other. I as an adult would never be like that to my friend, skinny or not.:smile:
  • emmabeckemeyer1
    emmabeckemeyer1 Posts: 298 Member
    I don't know why but they really are mean. I've seen it in the work place moreso than anywhere else. They always seem to be jealous or suspicious of the other girls in the office. It's ridiculous and unprofessional. Furthermore, it seems to only be directed towards other women.

    You are right about the work place! It is almost like they try to one up each other and it is VERY unprofessional
  • emmabeckemeyer1
    emmabeckemeyer1 Posts: 298 Member
    I don't understand it either. I know it's not all women, but it seems to be most of them. I've always gotten along better with men because I'm not into being catty and mean just for the sake of it. Maybe it has to do with insecurity or wanting to feel like they're above someone else?

    I hope the other gal returns to class without her "friend" so she can keep trying.
    I too have always had more male friends. In most cases with men you know where you stand
  • sbdoolin
    sbdoolin Posts: 6 Member
    Those were teenagers; the mean one may just be going through a miserable phase. I don't believe most women do things like this to each other. Like men, some are mean, some are nice and most of us fall somewhere in between. It's just that the mean ones get your attention.

    I'm always amazed when I hear people talk about friends who are mean to them. Who are you hanging around with?! There is an entire world of better people out there. Surround yourself with them.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    There are mean men as well as mean women. I think the bigger teen needs to examine who she is choosing as a friend because it sounds like she chose poorly.
  • cuterbee
    cuterbee Posts: 545
    Those were teenagers; the mean one may just be going through a miserable phase. I don't believe most women do things like this to each other. Like men, some are mean, some are nice and most of us fall somewhere in between. It's just that the mean ones get your attention.

    I'm always amazed when I hear people talk about friends who are mean to them. Who are you hanging around with?! There is an entire world of better people out there. Surround yourself with them.

    I had a couple of "friends" like that as a teenager -- they were not my friends for long. I agree that people often don't notice kindness unless it is extraordinary, but even a little meanness stands out.
  • cnlargent
    cnlargent Posts: 199 Member
    I still have a friend like this. She lost over 30 lbs eating like a bird and while in a size 2, she has no musclar definition and is definitely skinny fat. Not the way I choose to have my body. She still eats like **** and talks about how she isnt even hungry anymore, so she only eats like, once a day. Constantly tells me that I'm eating too much to lose weight (And I'm shooting for 1600 - 1800 calories net!)

    Same friend who thinks that lifting weights will cause me to get bulky, and she doesnt want get bulky. And "too bad you just arent built to be a size 2". This chick is 5'5" and 110 lbs. Thanks, but no thanks, I'm shooting for 140-150 and looking good naked for my husband.
  • carrieous
    carrieous Posts: 1,024 Member
    Are you asking this about women or teenagers?
  • stephaniemejia1671
    stephaniemejia1671 Posts: 482 Member
    I work out alone. Because of situations like that. I tend to get focused when I workout so I really wouldn't be able to concentrate on punching someone in their face, it would mess up my mojo. Misery likes company.
  • roiLEI1554
    roiLEI1554 Posts: 143
    I think a lot of it is just the need for the verification of our importance by males (or females, no discrimination intended)
    Not all women are like this, though
    Not even all teenagers are like this...the situation you described just sounds like a bad friend choice
  • ijavagypsy
    ijavagypsy Posts: 109
    The root cause is usually fear or jealousy. Go figure.
  • ejwme
    ejwme Posts: 318
    Some of it is cultural. I've noticed in traveling and living all over that places where the culture is relatively "foreign" (to ours), there's not necessarily the same level of cattiness in young or immature women. One place I lived the men were cattier than the women. It took a few stints abroad for me to realize that.
  • iorahkwano
    iorahkwano Posts: 709 Member
    Maybe the heavier friend was being cocky & saying what the fit girl does isn't hard? Devaluing her hard work? That's the only situation I could think of where someone would do this (assuming they're not just being an *kitten*).

    I remember one of my coworkers & I were at a race... and a fit girl (who had never been to our gym) was being cocky saying her gym was better than ours, that they workout the hardest & that she was gonna come to our gym to show us it's easy.

    She showed up, I wasn't there to see it. She didn't come back for a few days... When she did, my coworker (who was at that last workout) made fun of her because she had thrown up at the workout! And he said it in front of everyone!

    WIN.
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,536 Member
    None of my female friends act like that. I don't act like that. And we wouldn't tolerate it from male or female friends. Why does anyone choose to be mean? Because they can, and because others allow it.
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
    Are you kidding? Have you ever witnessed the abuse teen boys put each other through? Sometimes in disgusting ways. Teenagers' brains aren't cooked yet, they're all psychos, regardless of gender.

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