Why do women do it to each other?

I think your question is really more about teenagers. As a whole, I don't see women as 'mean'. Yes, some are, but not any that I associate with LOL.

Yesterday at the gym two older teenagers walked into the body pump class. One of the teens was over weight and the other was very thin. They started the class and the thin one was not even trying and was laughing at the other who was trying to workout. She was telling her she looked stupid and the class was a joke. The bigger teen was ignoring her and kept trying but when she lost her balance (she did not fall) the thin girl said, "told you you couldn't do it." They both left.
It broke my heart to see one trying to get fit and the other "friend" putting her down!! Why are women so mean to each other?

Anyone who thinks men don't do this hasn't paid attention or doesn't work in an office full of guys :laugh:

Guys can be some the meanest to one another. Super competitive about how much weight they can lift, whatever they modded their car with last week, etc. The minute a guy wears a pink shirt or actually acts a little compassionate he is usually called out on it and mocked for being effeminite etc. How many times have I heard a guy call one of his friends a b@#$ or a pu$$y. This sort of wolf pack teasing is considered normal though, and I think when we see similar behavior in women we tend to think of it as b@#chy or catty.

I also think certain societal norms offer men more chances to compete with one another in ways that are not personal (and women are picking up these habits, I'm just saying historically this has been men only): favorite sports team, weight lifting, competing with your teammates at work for promotions etc. At my workplace in a male dominated profession, the guys are far more likely to have all male teams. They are more likely to have male peers in their group. The women here tend to be support staff and don't have a "team" or "peers" but are usually kind of by themselves. This leads to them competing with other support staff females because it's human nature and we're all competitive. But it's looked at as catty because there's really no benefit to the competition. However, the guys that are competing with their male peers are just doing so for career advancement so the same behavior is not looked upon the same way. Just my perspective.

I hate when people generalize women as mean like some have in this thread. I am a woman and I'm not mean, petty, or nasty. Growing up, I was bullied by boys.

I still have a friend like this. She lost over 30 lbs eating like a bird and while in a size 2, she has no musclar definition and is definitely skinny fat. Not the way I choose to have my body. She still eats like **** and talks about how she isnt even hungry anymore, so she only eats like, once a day. Constantly tells me that I'm eating too much to lose weight (And I'm shooting for 1600 - 1800 calories net!)

Same friend who thinks that lifting weights will cause me to get bulky, and she doesnt want get bulky. And "too bad you just arent built to be a size 2". This chick is 5'5" and 110 lbs. Thanks, but no thanks, I'm shooting for 140-150 and looking good naked for my husband.

i made it through the first handful of comments before I decided this thread is worthless misogynist crap.

Have a nice day.

I can't say that I completely agree with you on this one, as it's been pretty well discussed that there's a fair bit more backbiting and ****ty, manipulative behavior that goes on among girls.

It's certainly nothing that's inherent to women in comparison to men, imo, but has a hell of a lot more to do with culture and the way that women are told to value themselves and others. But to completely handwave anyone who points it out as being misogynist doesn't really help anything either. This sort of thing exists and has been researched. I highly recommend checking out "Queen Bees and Wannabes" by Rosalind Wiseman, for starters.

Not that guys aren't capable of being complete jerks to each other, of course, but guys are much more likely to hurt each other (especially at that age) out of thoughtlessness and stupidity rather than the sort of targeted torpedoing of someone's insecurities, especially among friends. It's unfortunate, but pretending it's not there certainly won't help anyone.

^^^Those books are about teenagers, not women.

Ridiculous. There are nice women and mean women and mean men and nice men.

There's also been books published about how men are naturally inclined to rape. I invite you to read "A natural history or rape." It is also sexist bull**** that I refuse to give any validity to.

Have a nice day.

^^^Those books are about teenagers, not women.

Ridiculous. There are nice women and mean women and mean men and nice men.

So it stops the second that they hit their 20th birthday, and there aren't constant discussions about women in higher level positions attacking each other due to a feeling of scarcity of positions for women in the upper echelons, for instance?

Or another good example - completely slam the **** out of a woman that they perceive as being 'slutty?'

http://www.uottawa.ca/media/media-release-2477.html

The differences are mostly cultural and are something that we as a society can fix, but it's going to take a whole lot more strides by feminism to help us get to the level of equality where women don't feel the need to act more viciously toward each other than men do toward each other.

I think that there are a lot of times that people misinterpret this fact into thinking women are just inherently meaner, rather than being forced into it by terrible cultural status, which is really awful of course. And it's just a generalization, which doesn't actually speak to any specific individual woman, who may act very different. But it's no more sexist than it is to say that women are more likely to be stay-at-home parents.

There's also been books published about how men are naturally inclined to rape. I invite you to read "A natural history or rape." It is also sexist bull**** that I refuse to give any validity to.

Have a nice day.

Oh! Well, if there has been silly sexist research in the past, then all research is invalid and we can stop listening to it. You've definitely convinced me on this one.

None of my female friends act like that. I don't act like that. And we wouldn't tolerate it from male or female friends. Why does anyone choose to be mean? Because they can, and because others allow it.