Stop the Fat Bashing!

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  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member
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    I love it when people stare at me :love:


    It makes me feel sexeh :bigsmile:
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
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    Time for a rant so if you don't want to see complaining- don't read it! :)

    I'm so sick of the looks I get because I'm trying to be healthier. At 245 lbs, if I were eating a hamburger and fries I'd get looks from people because I shouldn't be eating like that in my condition. "Try a salad fatty!" is what their eyes say. We've grown up to accept that and to expect. What I absolutely hate is the people who stare at me (and others) who are trying to do better for themselves like they're worthless too. Either way I'm screwed! If I'm fat and getting fatter I'm criticized. If I'm fat and trying to get healthy I'm a poser.

    Every Tuesday and Thursday I wear fitted workout pants/capris and a t-shirt to class because I go to the gym before I go to campus. I get looks each and everyday like I shouldn't be wearing fitted clothes and at this point I really don't care. I'm wearing these clothes because I've already been to the gym burning a ton of calories before most of these people have even woken up. Get over it! I fill up my plate with tons of veggies and lean proteins at school and people look at it like me like "Why are you even trying that? You know you want that greasy pizza!"

    Either way I'm rocking these pants and making my body healthy so think what you want. :)

    /rant

    I'm bigger than you are, though I'm working on it. I know what it is like to think people are looking at me and judging. But I've learned over the years that people are thinking about me a lot less than I presume they are. A few years ago, when I decided that when I thought someone was looking (or staring) at me, I'd smile and wave. Most of the time, people smile and wave back. That indicates to me that either they thought they recognized me and weren't sure (hey, so what if they think they saw a friend from way back and waved when they didn't) or even that they were just thinking their own thoughts and I was in the path of their gaze and exchanged a friendly greeting . Once in a while, someone will look away, as if ashamed. I think I made a point without getting my blood pressure up.. Even more seldom, someone is scowling or mean. Perhaps they are just like that, though, and it wouldn't matter if I was perfect in every way, they'd judge me as plastic. I don't have enough energy to worry about what they think. I have my own needs to meet.
    I also know the awkwardness of being plus sized (a very big plus size) and ordering a "skinny latte". I admitted to the barista that I feel like a poser, but I REALLY want a peppermint mocha, and it fits in my plan to have it "skinny". The barista (who was NOT heavy set at all) was a great representative of the company (Starbucks) and encouraged me not to feel judged for making good choices for myself. I had a similar experience at a neighborhood coffee shop.
    Others have said earlier that you should not assume what people are thinking. That is the same point that I am trying to make, except that I want you to know that I've been there, and still find myself there everyday. I know it's not easy, but life is stressful enough without the unwanted burdens of what I think others are probably thinking.
  • ckmama
    ckmama Posts: 1,668 Member
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    Maybe you only think people are looking at you? I can't speak for everyone but at the gym I almost never really put much thought in to what anyone is wearing unless they're overly oddly dressed (working out in jeans, flip flops, prostitute level skimpy outfit, etc).

    While I totally feel like the original poster alot of the times, I have to remind myself of this ^^^^^

    He is totally right I don't think people really care that much.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    I also know the awkwardness of being plus sized (a very big plus size) and ordering a "skinny latte". I admitted to the barista that I feel like a poser, but I REALLY want a peppermint mocha, and it fits in my plan to have it "skinny". The barista (who was NOT heavy set at all) was a great representative of the company (Starbucks) and encouraged me not to feel judged for making good choices for myself.

    A couple times when I've see a big person eating something unhealthy I've thought "I bet they don't really know how many calories are in that". I know I've been surprised to know what's in things when I first started counting calories. Even meals you'd think are healthy can not be.

    congrats on your healthy choices. :smile:
  • MochaMixAZ
    MochaMixAZ Posts: 844 Member
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    Solution? Giving not one single f**k. I will eat what I want and live how I want to live, to heck with everyone else.

    I think this gets to the heart of the matter. Some people DO care and DO judge... but it should be about what YOU think and care about.

    I will go out on a fragile limb here and prepare to be fried, but *I* have *been* a part of both parties. I've been judged (and yes, sometimes it's my perception of being judged and others times people have actually SAID something)... and I've judged. When I felt most on track and uber high and mighty, I admit I would look at others and tsk to myself and feel all sanctimonious. Yep, did it. Not my best moments, but ... I can admit they have happened. Sometimes they still do. Like I just read on a forum someone was complaining about the gym being too crowded and darn people sticking to their NY resolutions and darn they had to park further away. And I thought judgmental thoughts. I chose not to respond, but lots of other people did . . . and it wasn't in support. I was at Starbuck's yesterday ordering my unsweetened green tea and my friend ordered her double mocha with 5 Splenda... and I thought, "OMG, you're poisoning yourself!" Can't say I didn't look at her funny. I try to catch these evil thoughts I have, but heck... I'm human, I have them.

    So I can't agree with folks who assume it doesn't happen. And I go back to this poster's quote - it's up to you to not care.
  • xXxHBICxXx
    xXxHBICxXx Posts: 370 Member
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    You seem a wee bit paranoid chick and you are judging them the way you claim they're judging you. Live and let live, who cares what those people think. And PLEASE for the love of GOD and Snickers let's not get started on the damn 'REAL WOMAN' topic again. Some women are big, some are small some have huge knockers, some have small ones. REAL WOMEN HAVE VA JAY JAY'S!! If you have a VA JAY JAY you are a real woman not matter your cup/waist size.
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
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    To be honest, if you were skinny and sat eating a burger people would be staring in envy and the same applies for skinny people wearing tight clothes. They also get a lot of unnecessary attention (particularly women) from the opposite sex.

    We are in a culture that envies each other and and pays too much attention to what is going on around us and not enough on what is going on with us an individuals.

    It's not just "fat" people.
  • NotBuyingIt
    NotBuyingIt Posts: 8
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    ? "Real" as in not fake or "being real"/"keeping it real", could mean a lot of things or maybe just a woman trying to soothe another in a time of weakness... I think the point of the article is to vent the emotion the young woman is experiencing and not distract from what is going on with people's negative attitude towards her and fat people in general. I totally feel what she is trying to say:(
  • Z_I_L_L_A
    Z_I_L_L_A Posts: 2,399 Member
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    Seriously? You are interpreting people LOOKING at you in a negative way.

    I'll be honest....you need to change your mindset.

    ^This, but rant away.

    Maybe they were thinking "Damn, I should have gotten the hamburger like her."

    Sounds like you are paranoid which reflects your feelings about being over weight. JMHO

    But still, get it out and rant on.
  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member
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    Just break up
  • NotBuyingIt
    NotBuyingIt Posts: 8
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    I'm so sorry! I agree with you! Though what a few said about perception and reading into things too much may very well be pertinent in some cases.. you and I both know how judgemental people are about fat people! It DISGUSTS me! I can't stand ignorance! This society needs to grow up! And this is coming from a somewhat slender person who has watched too many people behave like nasty little children. There's nothing wrong with you - you are taking better care of yourself beter than those sorry hypocrites doing the staring. Please stay strong!
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
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    People stared at me when I was fat cuz I walked around looking like this:
    Feb1997.jpg

    Not exactly the "jolly" kind of fat person I guess...
    And they stare at me now because I walk around looking like this:
    leanin.jpg

    As you can see from both images, I don't give a flyin' monkey's *kitten* either way...
  • AmyP619
    AmyP619 Posts: 1,137 Member
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    I think sometimes we are a lot more critical of ourselves than others are of us, so those "eyes" that you may THINK people are giving you may really be nothing. Sometimes it's implanted in our own head that everyone is judging us because we're overweight, when in fact, that's probably not what they're thinking at all. As an overweight person myself, I've always been pretty self conscious, and I too have had those thoughts. "That person is giving me a nasty look because I'm fat." When really, that person probably just happened to look over my way and might be having a bad day so the look on their face isn't very pleasant. It really comes down to self confidence, how you carry yourself, and really just not giving a **** about what others ARE thinking. We are our own worst critics.
  • foxro
    foxro Posts: 793 Member
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    Just a sympton of a superficial society. Pretty scary though !!
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    People stared at me when I was fat cuz I walked around looking like this:
    Feb1997.jpg

    Not exactly the "jolly" kind of fat person I guess...
    And they stare at me now because I walk around looking like this:
    leanin.jpg

    As you can see from both images, I don't give a flyin' monkey's *kitten* either way...

    if you had a flying monkey *kitten* would you let me pet it? i have never seen one before
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
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    People stared at me when I was fat cuz I walked around looking like this:
    Feb1997.jpg

    Not exactly the "jolly" kind of fat person I guess...
    And they stare at me now because I walk around looking like this:
    leanin.jpg

    As you can see from both images, I don't give a flyin' monkey's *kitten* either way...

    if you had a flying monkey *kitten* would you let me pet it? i have never seen one before

    That's because flying monkeys are friggin' impossible to catch... I only have a few *kitten* left in inventory, which is why I no longer give them.
  • knittingwitch
    knittingwitch Posts: 231 Member
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    Go a head and rant get it off your chest.
    Are you sure that's what people are thinking? I my self stair off into space and people often times think I'm looking at them when I didn't evens see them their until the waved or moved.
    Plus those people giving you dirty looks the looks could and probably are just self loathing, here you are being health and doing some thing positive. And all they can think is how dare she doesn't she know if I can't motivate my self there is no way she can do it. (I would take that as a complement because you are doing some thing they can't, aka your better then them take those looks as looks of jealousy)
    Personally when I see a really fat person working their *kitten* off at the gym or out riding a bike it think that is freaking awesome. I do admit that when I see a fat person eating unhealthy I do think you shouldn't be doing that.
    But I have obese family members so I see how they struggle to do things, so I don't stare and send angry hateful vibes to people.

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