Hitting myself on the head with a sledgehammer

just a quick update... i'm on day 4 with the fiberglass handled sledgehammer portion of this cleanse. my head has become sore, swollen, bloodied, and lumpy. however, i have lost 0.5 ounces on the scale as of this morning!!! so i'm going to go ahead and declare this cleanse an unqualified SUCCESS.

i believe this cleanse has truly jump started my weight loss program and at this rate, i am looking forward to day 128, when i should be down 1 full pound on the scale! constant headaches, pain, and swelling is a small price to pay to see a slightly lower number on my scale sometime in July. WOO HOO!!

remember, we are all special snowflakes, so what works for me probably won't work for you.

This sounds amazing! Could you send me more details on how to 'do' the sledgehammer cleanse if I deposit some money in your PayPal account?

I tried this and it worked for me, except I used to get dreadful headaches from it. I tried to ask on here what to do about the headaches but everyone was so mean and unsupportive, just blaming it all on the sledgehammer without even knowing me as a person. All I wanted was answers for how to relieve the headache. There are so many mean, know-it-all bullies on here, just because they have degrees in fancy subjects like physiology, biology, human sciences, nutrition, medicine, biomechanics and the like, they think they know everything and that the headache can't be caused by anything other than repeatedly hitting myself on the head with the sledgehammer. Well my body is different to everyone else's and I need to hit myself repeatedly on the head with a sledgehammer in order to lose weight.

And just so you know, OP, heroin works best for the headache. It's expensive but a guy at the end of my street sells it.

Since doing my sledgehammer head hitting routine, I've lost 50lbs and I'm a size zero. However I'm still surrounded by unsupportive bullies who are concerned about my "heroin addiction" - well I just say to them, poppies are a clean and totally natural food, so how could they possibly be unhealthy? Haters will hate....

I tried this and it worked for me, except I used to get dreadful headaches from it. I tried to ask on here what to do about the headaches but everyone was so mean and unsupportive, just blaming it all on the sledgehammer without even knowing me as a person. All I wanted was answers for how to relieve the headache. There are so many mean, know-it-all bullies on here, just because they have degrees in fancy subjects like physiology, biology, human sciences, nutrition, medicine, biomechanics and the like, they think they know everything and that the headache can't be caused by anything other than repeatedly hitting myself on the head with the sledgehammer. Well my body is different to everyone else's and I need to hit myself repeatedly on the head with a sledgehammer in order to lose weight.

And just so you know, OP, heroin works best for the headache. It's expensive but a guy at the end of my street sells it.

Since doing my sledgehammer head hitting routine, I've lost 50lbs and I'm a size zero. However I'm still surrounded by unsupportive bullies who are concerned about my "heroin addiction" - well I just say to them, poppies are a clean and totally natural food, so how could they possibly be unhealthy? Haters will hate....

Why so hangry? You are a size zero so I'm just really struggling to see what the issue is.

Or are you just coming on here so you can make us all feel bad that you suceeded with the sledgehammer plan and are now lovely and skinny while we still have fat bottoms because we have no commitment?!!

I'm reporting all of you for making me nearly wet myself laughing at my desk *humph*

1. Make sure you log those calories burned while laughing
2. Be sure to subtract the urine lost from your water intake for the day - don't want you dehydrating

Ahh I take it back, good helpful tips there. How many calories does typing burn?

I'm reporting all of you for making me nearly wet myself laughing at my desk *humph*

1. Make sure you log those calories burned while laughing
2. Be sure to subtract the urine lost from your water intake for the day - don't want you dehydrating

Ahh I take it back, good helpful tips there. How many calories does typing burn?

Hmmmm... I would suggest checking the MFP database first, but according to my HRM about 1,000 calories per hour. Of course, I'm not entirely sure if it is cardio (my fingers do get quite warm while typing) or strength (I've got Ninja-strong fingers thanks to years of touchtyping).

Just remember, it only works if you combine it with Shakeology.

:laugh:

I tried this and it worked for me, except I used to get dreadful headaches from it. I tried to ask on here what to do about the headaches but everyone was so mean and unsupportive, just blaming it all on the sledgehammer without even knowing me as a person. All I wanted was answers for how to relieve the headache. There are so many mean, know-it-all bullies on here, just because they have degrees in fancy subjects like physiology, biology, human sciences, nutrition, medicine, biomechanics and the like, they think they know everything and that the headache can't be caused by anything other than repeatedly hitting myself on the head with the sledgehammer. Well my body is different to everyone else's and I need to hit myself repeatedly on the head with a sledgehammer in order to lose weight.

And just so you know, OP, heroin works best for the headache. It's expensive but a guy at the end of my street sells it.

Since doing my sledgehammer head hitting routine, I've lost 50lbs and I'm a size zero. However I'm still surrounded by unsupportive bullies who are concerned about my "heroin addiction" - well I just say to them, poppies are a clean and totally natural food, so how could they possibly be unhealthy? Haters will hate....

Why so hangry? You are a size zero so I'm just really struggling to see what the issue is.

Or are you just coming on here so you can make us all feel bad that you suceeded with the sledgehammer plan and are now lovely and skinny while we still have fat bottoms because we have no commitment?!!

I'm not hangry. I'm just upset that no-one in my life can see how great it is that i'm now a size zero and they're trying to get me on a drug rehab programme and I've had to buy three new sledgehammers this week because they keep on taking them away. My boyfriend even burned one of them in front of me and tried to force me to phone a drug addiction helpline. Why can't they understand that this is what works for me, because I'm a special snowflake and my body doesn't follow the laws of physics that govern the whole rest of the universe, it has its own laws of physics which are unique to me. They seem to want me to stop hitting myself on the head with a sledgehammer and go back to being 90% body fat. And they seem to think that heroin is unhealthy in spite of the fact that opium poppies are a totally natural plant that grows naturally and is a totally clean and natural food.

*Sending you a hug*

You are quite right - natural is the only healthy way to go. It's quite clear that the people around you are not supportive (and I suspect jealous at your amazing weight loss). You've ditched the fat - now time to ditch the people who made you fat in the first place (because I'm certain it must have been their fault - forcing you to eat pies when you weren't hungry, chaining you to the sofa so you could not run free). You may find true acceptance by moving to a squat. You may even find people living there who are skinnier than you - as you know, we all need inspiration to shed those last few pounds.