The Side of Weight Loss No One Talks About

Realizing that the only reason you got fat in the first place was to disappear. Then as you lose the weight, you lose a great protective shield and have to deal with the many things you were hiding from.

...and this. ^

I'm realizing food was my coping mechanism for my life.
As I continue to realize all of the things that make me unhappy,
my dependency on food continues to lessen.
I think the most surprising is how unhappy I am in my marriage and how controlling Dh has become.
After me bringing up divorce he's working on it, and I feel less hungry, and less of a need to log.
We'll see what happens.

^ This is soo familiar to me

Great idea on the clothes exchange ...I'm in! :-)

That when you shop in regular sized clothes section of a store you are thinking that everyone is wondering why the fat chic is in their side of the store. lol. I am a pretty much a solid 12 but when I go looking for clothes I swear everyone is wondering why I am there.

HAHA I know exactly what you mean! I went shopping with my daughter recently and we were trying on the same brand/style of jeans, just in different sizes. I had a sudden realization of just how weird it was that I was trying on skinny jeans in the junior section with my daughter and wondered if the changing room lady was thinking I was a fraud, and should be shopping in the old fat lady section. lol

That losing weight is the easy part. Life long maintenance is where it gets tricky.

It's called "Hungry" by Alan Zadoff. I read it one sitting and it chronicles his journey over expectations that he had over what would happen when he lost weight.

This is was what drew me to reading the book in the first place.

From the Back Cover
"I sought help not to control my weight but to deal with the emotional turmoil that was lurking just beneath the food. Over the course of a year, more than 100 pounds fell from my body, and my thin life, the one I'd been waiting nearly thirty years for, finally began. It was nothing like I expected. For starters, Calvin Klein did not call with a modeling offer. The gifts of the thin life, which I'd always assumed included a beautiful wife, gorgeous house, and handsome Labrador retriever, did not materialize. My life was not suddenly perfect. It was a lot more interesting than that. It turned out that losing weight was only the first step in a much larger and more amazing journey."

I can relate to this on so many levels, I plan to purchase this book.
While my self esteem has come along way, I feel there has been alot more exposed to work on then I would have ever realized.
Maybe I thought that the weight loss would fix everything? or maybe I thought that these issues weren't there?

but man, have I done alot of growing in the last 2 years. It is unreal, and while most of my 'screw ups' have come on the dating scene, I have given myself alot more self worth and that is hard to do. To look back on all your failures and pick apart what went wrong, what I ignored, what I could have done better and then actually DO IT, is very hard. So much is rising to the surface, but I am becoming such a better person for it. Well I believe so anyways

Losing weight is one thing, uncovering the unexpected is another... and only people who experience this will ever understand what we mean.

Sometimes friends try to sabotage and green with envy. You know who your true friends are!!

...obsessing now that I am skinny that I will wake up fat, exercising allllllllllllllllll the time! Afraid of gaining a pound, I believe I have created me somewhat of a food disorder...

THIS! My abnormal psych teacher told me that I have "disordered eating" patterns. She said it's not healthy to be afraid of gaining a pound, or eating too many calories, or looking up restaurant foods and basing my social life around the places I can eat at. She said I shouldn't know exactly how many calories and carbs are in so many different foods, and that exercising just to eat more is crazy.

And sometimes it feels crazy...

*disclaimer: I am not "skinny", just smaller

Moderation is the key. I think your psych teacher may just be a bit paranoid. There is nothing wrong with finding out how many calories are in food before we eat them. That is just smart, when you are trying to lose or maintain weight. It is no different than looking at the price tag before you buy something. It would be very irresponsible to go thru a store just grabbing whatever we wanted without knowing how much we were spending, So it is just as irresponsible to go eat whatever we want without knowing the cost.

Of course, like with anything, if it starts taking over your life and interfering with your daily loving and relationships, then it may be becoming an obsession, but I think if we just remain aware, and do gut checks frequently, we will be fine.

My boobs are so small now! I was so used to this voluptous body, in and out in geenrous curves in all the right places (and a little at the wrong ones.) Now my breasts sag and my butt is wrinkled, and I feel invisible and small rather than tall, slim and awesome.

But in a year I will have built a whole new wardrobe. Clothes that fit may help.

Not mine, but the belief that you can completely change your body shape through weight loss and exercise and that everyone who works hard will end up looking like a fitness model. The idea that your fat distribution pattern and goals have no bearing on how you work out, especially if you are close to your goal.

huh?

There is no reason anyone who works hard enough shouldn't look like a fitness model. Provided you are doing the right kind of exercise and have the right nutrition.

You are a little naive if you think that fitness models are not chosen with a certain body type in mind, just like any model. Some people will never attain that 'perfect' shape because their bodies are simply not shaped that way. Even buff and at an ideal weight, I will never look like Jillian Michaels (for example, I know she's not a model), because she has a different body type than I. I will look like a fit me. Short, with short skinny-ish legs, unusually short arms, and somewhat thick around the middle with a rather flat behind. Even at my most fit, this is what I looked like. Not unattractive, but certainly not 'cover of Fitness Magazine' attractive.

Thank you. Just because no one wants to pay you to model fitness outfits does not mean you're ugly or that all the work is meaningless. But ridiculous expectations can lead to disappointment and recidivism.

You are Morrisey and I claim my £5

Don't get the reference. Why am I surprised that some people here are not interested in reality?

I've discovered that you can get addicted to the feeling of success when you lose weight. So when you get to a weight where you shouldn't lose any more weight, it can be hard to stop wanting to do it. At first I felt skinny, but after a while I started feeling fat again, even though my measurements were all the same.

This is exactly what happened to me. I started out wanting to weigh 115lbs and when I got down to it I wanted to weigh 110lbs and then 105lbs, and so on. Got down to 95lbs and still felt fat. I am now back at 105lbs and I have really bad days sometimes.

Feeling A LOT colder.

I know, I live in Michigan! It was easily -22 with wind chill this winter and I freeze my buns off anyway! I'll take it over the heavy and warm me though:laugh:

That I would not want to go back to my old lifestyle. That I would become someone I used to dislike - someone who enjoyed healthy eating and exercise. That my tastes would change and that I would choose my life now over my old one because I prefer it.

That my focus would shift from doing it to lose weight, to health and fitness with weight loss as a nice bonus.

^This. I started out just trying to lose weight because I was uncomfortable and ashamed in my own body. Now my focus has redirected to being fit and strong, and even the fact that I've been plateaued on the scale since December doesn't really bother me. As long as I can lift a few pounds heavier or do a few more pushups each time, that's enough for me.

And I've totally become one of those people I used to scorn/dislike, who have a focus and emphasis on fitness and healthy, clean eating. I've always done my own cooking, but I've gradually shifted away from cooking heavy cream or cheese based meals to lighter dishes with more of an emphasis on vegetables or legumes, and I don't miss it one bit. I'll still indulge if I get the urge, but honestly, I don't, often. Chocolate is a different matter, but I've also learned that I CAN have my cake and eat it, too... if I'm willing to work for it! I also did not realize how much MORE I would learn about cooking and how much fun I would have experimenting with cooking with whole grains. I feel like I can have much more creativity in my cooking now (although it really helps that I unburdened myself of an extremely picky eater). I also never thought I'd intentionally buy kale.

That I would not want to go back to my old lifestyle. That I would become someone I used to dislike - someone who enjoyed healthy eating and exercise. That my tastes would change and that I would choose my life now over my old one because I prefer it.

That my focus would shift from doing it to lose weight, to health and fitness with weight loss as a nice bonus.

^This. I started out just trying to lose weight because I was uncomfortable and ashamed in my own body. Now my focus has redirected to being fit and strong, and even the fact that I've been plateaued on the scale since December doesn't really bother me. As long as I can lift a few pounds heavier or do a few more pushups each time, that's enough for me.

And I've totally become one of those people I used to scorn/dislike, who have a focus and emphasis on fitness and healthy, clean eating. I've always done my own cooking, but I've gradually shifted away from cooking heavy cream or cheese based meals to lighter dishes with more of an emphasis on vegetables or legumes, and I don't miss it one bit. I'll still indulge if I get the urge, but honestly, I don't, often. Chocolate is a different matter, but I've also learned that I CAN have my cake and eat it, too... if I'm willing to work for it! I also did not realize how much MORE I would learn about cooking and how much fun I would have experimenting with cooking with whole grains. I feel like I can have much more creativity in my cooking now (although it really helps that I unburdened myself of an extremely picky eater). I also never thought I'd intentionally buy kale.

Totally understand where you are coming from! I started on this journey for a different reason then you did, but the end results are the same.. Now i'm the one at the grocery store pointing at all the *formerly weird* fruits and veggies, naming them and rattling off 5 different way to cook them to anyone who will listen. LOL

I was the girl who burned water and set grills on fire. Now i'm the girl with the super amazing looking plates of food for dinner, that has everyone in my life asking for the recipes. And I even figured out how to eat my buffalo wings without all the fat and grease! (and they are even crispy and fried!)

Oh my.. I've even stepped food in an Asian market and bought stuff.. Now there's something i' NEVER thought I'd do. but I'll never go back! Even my son likes dinner better and even though his plate are mostly veggies.. I rarely get complaints anymore.

Oh yes.. I've also plateaued.. and I really don't care. I'm still losing inches and getting stronger and I feel better and I am healthier. So the weight doesn't matter anymore. Just a number. Everyone has noticed that I've lost weight and gained muscle. And when people at work notice.. you know you 're doing something right! Plus my doctor has given me a clean bill of health (and a follow-up to check on said bill in 3 months LOL!) so I couldn't be happier!

Get recommendations for a good tailor! Call around for prices. Sure, there are still costs involved, but I've been able to hold off on replacing several pair of pants...three or four pair of pants adjusted by a good tailor may be the same as one new pair of pants. A really good tailor will also be able to tell you if your (previously adjusted) clothes can no longer be taken in without losing the shape of the garment.

As for wrap dresses and other items...I've learned to try on new things that previously didn't work. I've had some pleasant surprises!