MFP not helping or showing support, just being rude!

wbfd22
wbfd22 Posts: 65 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I am new to MFP. I'm not new to exercise or diets or calorie counting.

I joined MFP to put the numbers in front of me. To hold myself responsible for what I put in my mouth and how hard I sweat. I wanted to learn from other peoples mistakes, read posts, get pointers and make friends. I would love to reply to some threads or ask questions when I'm unsure, but some of the things I've read are just outright rude. If someone is asking a question, it's because they don't know the answer and they are seeking an answer from other health and fitness buffs. They aren't looking to be called names, to be made fun of, or to be bullied. You discourage people, like myself, from wanting to put ourselves out there to ask the questions.

The debates over 1200 calories or not is a prime example of what I'm referring to.

So please, from a new MFP member, please go easy on us. If we are posting something that is wrong, don't say we are stupid, don't call us names, just politely correct us so we can see the kind of success we are hoping for. Isn't that why we are all here?? To see success??
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Replies

  • nmh52
    nmh52 Posts: 8 Member
    My thoughts exactly.
  • tacguy
    tacguy Posts: 196
    I agree. I have been using MFP for a while, but only recently did I get into the forums. I've never seem so many rude people. Most are great, but it is that few than can leave a poor impression.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    Don't let other people get you down! Enjoy the people who are here for something positive, and above all, do what you need to do for your health and your life.
  • tjphelps73
    tjphelps73 Posts: 171 Member
    I have been on MFP for over a year + and yes I have read some of the rudest posts. Everyone seems to have an opinion which is what we want we ask a question but they could keep their "supreme" opinions to themselves. One person will tell you 1200 calories is way to low and another person will tell you that 1200 is too high and then you have that one jerk who thinks they know it all and makes a crappy comment.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    agree. some people need to learn forum etiquette. just because we are onilne and not face to face gives you the right to treat other people with direspect. You should treat others the way you would like to be treated in person or in the forums.
  • 714rah714
    714rah714 Posts: 759 Member
    Some questions defy common sense.
  • ladyraven68
    ladyraven68 Posts: 2,003 Member
    And on the flip side , there are a load of stickied threads above for Newbies to read, so that they understand how MFP is designed to work.

    And a search function.

    I would recommend any new people to take the time to read those stickies, and also try searching first before asking a question, as many of the rude answers are because old timers are fed up of seeing the same questions repeated time and time again.

    So if people do a bit of reasearch, they can find their answer without getting a "WTF not this question again!!", which could put them off asking next time they have a question.
  • nczuczu
    nczuczu Posts: 611 Member
    I ignore the people that are rude. I have surrounded myself with "friends" that support me and give me encouragement. I hope you find a group of people that will support you and give you encouragement.

    Add me, if you'd like.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    Most people here are extremely supportive and sweet. Don't worry about some threads where we all snip at each other, it often has to do with trolling on popular topics that the troll knows is a bone of contention. A lot of times it's at least partly in good fun. You'll also notice it's often esoteric.

    Also, you might get trolled in this thread because a popular bone of contention topic is, you guessed it! Why are MFP Peeps so mean!

    Walk it off, I swear to you most MFP people are far from mean. :flowerforyou:
  • Reza151
    Reza151 Posts: 517 Member
    Bravo, this post:-)

    On the other side, you have to remember: THIS IS THE INTERNET. Trolls galore. They're unavoidable. You just have to ignore them and let the comments roll off your back, or laugh along!
  • labtracks
    labtracks Posts: 108 Member
    Completely agree! Sometimes I feel so bad about what I read people respond and sadly I often am afraid to comment in support for fear of being attacked myself. There are people on here of all health and skill levels. That's what makes it wonderful because its an invaluable source of information and support from people who probably have "been there". This is also an extremely touchy and emotional area for people. If someone thinks they are above or better than others because they know more, are in better shape or whatever reason they may have to feel superior there are many times they should just browse on without comment. Sadly there are trolls everywhere either responding to provoke people or even posting questions themselves to start trouble. Feel free to friend me. I'm always up for having and supporting nice friends. :)
  • Luvmyboxerboy
    Luvmyboxerboy Posts: 130 Member
    If I'm unsure of something I usually just ask my question on my news feed where it's just my friends and I know I won't be made to feel like an idiot lol
  • GurleyGirl524
    GurleyGirl524 Posts: 578 Member
    Ignore the rudeness, embrace the positive. Not all of us are nasty. I pretty much try to avoid posting questions in the forums and post them in my newsfeed so that just my friends who are always nothing but supportive can answer and give me advice. Welcome!!!
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    Do you have an example of someone being called stupid (or any other name)?

    I'd like to see that link.


    I think what happens more frequently is this:

    There are a lot of successful people here who have done the research and achieved great results themsevles. Someone else will ask a question about cleanses, shakes, pills, etc, and a successful person will bluntly tell them why it's bad. The problem is that people don't like to hear that they are wrong. So, they get upset about it and think they are being bullied.

    That said, if someone is actually calling names or being ridiculously mean to someone else, that behavior should be reported. I'd like to see an example of that though. I'm on the forums quite a bit and I have only seen it a few times - and the mods have always dealt with it right away.
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
    If you're this upset already, I'd advise you to stay out of the forums. I'm not being rude - I'm just saying they're not going to change. You either have to learn to love them, learn to ignore what you don't like or ignore the forums altogether. Or keep at them and keep writing "Mean people are mean" threads. Really, it doesn't matter.
  • Dark_Roast
    Dark_Roast Posts: 17,689 Member
    If you post a thread that has been beat to death already, you will get rude answers. There is a search function on MFP and when you are new you should search before you post. Read the stickies, that is what they are there for. When you have a question that hasn't been answered 5000 times before, post it and I bet people here won't be rude.

    That being said, I have never had anyone be rude to me in the forums, most have been supportive and helpful.
  • Kateswalsh
    Kateswalsh Posts: 10 Member
    And on the flip side , there are a load of stickied threads above for Newbies to read, so that they understand how MFP is designed to work.

    And a search function.

    I would recommend any new people to take the time to read those stickies, and also try searching first before asking a question, as many of the rude answers are because old timers are fed up of seeing the same questions repeated time and time again.

    So if people do a bit of reasearch, they can find their answer without getting a "WTF not this question again!!", which could put them off asking next time they have a question.
  • Spartan_Maker
    Spartan_Maker Posts: 683 Member
    There are lots of fragile egos in the world and especially in here. A little bit of discernment and you'll get something useful out of MFP.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    I rarely see rude posts. I rarely see anyone being called names or being called stupid. Just posters asking about unhealthy or dangerous diet methods, being told no, and then going off on rants about how they aren't being supportive.

    If we weren't being supportive, we'd let you guys hurt yourselves. So either deal with being told No, your 30 day fast isn't a good idea or else do it and don't bother posting for advice.
  • deepuckett1
    deepuckett1 Posts: 48 Member
    Thank you wbfd22, I agree with you and normally shy away from replying to posts and I don't get involved with negative posts. I use this site for me, to count calories. I am not breaking any speed records with my weight loss, it is slow and steady. For me, a life change. Not a diet. That's why I use MFP, it's a great tool for that! Good Luck to you! ! !
  • EmmaReed84
    EmmaReed84 Posts: 263 Member
    I think what has got my back up more is the fact that (from my own personal point of view) all this TDEE stuff is the ONLY single way to do it.

    I have nicknamed it My Fitness Preachers LOL.

    Every 'body' is different therefore weightloss is going to be different. I think a more friendly approach to the eat more would be "Have you tried this, maybe give it a go and see if it works for you" instead "EAT MORE EAT MORE EAT MORE!!!!!!"
  • Laura_Ivy
    Laura_Ivy Posts: 555 Member
    I have the perfect solution! Stay away from the boards. :smile: :flowerforyou: Add your friends that you feel you can connect to and leave it at that.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    You know, when I first started posting in the forums, I got called out on more than one occasion for posting incorrect and inaccurate information. It's just part of the nature of the beast. Because the content here is user-generated, many people post their opinions as if they are facts, and those are usually the people that get railed on. Just like anywhere else in the world, MFP has its controversial topics. If you can't accept an opposing view, then you shouldn't be using the internet.
  • xXxHBICxXx
    xXxHBICxXx Posts: 370 Member
    The *kitten* are out and free there is no shutting them up or making them see that they are in fact *kitten*. Ignore them, newbies should all visit http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/912920-in-place-of-a-road-map-3-2013?hl=road+map, will help I promise (sorry to all of you who hate when ppl post this) Dan knows his **** and the road map is helpful!
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    When I start recognizing a screen name as being a rude responder, I put them on ignore. It's easy; just click the drop-down arrow beside the screen name, then click on ignore user. My forum life is becoming much more peaceful.

    The nicest place is on my home page with my friends.
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
    agree. some people need to learn forum etiquette. just because we are onilne and not face to face gives you the right to treat other people with direspect. You should treat others the way you would like to be treated in person or in the forums.

    Are you referring to the common etiquette on all forums to first search for your question to see if it's been answered before or something else?
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
    Do you have an example of someone being called stupid (or any other name)?

    I'd like to see that link.


    I think what happens more frequently is this:

    There are a lot of successful people here who have done the research and achieved great results themsevles. Someone else will ask a question about cleanses, shakes, pills, etc, and a successful person will bluntly tell them why it's bad. The problem is that people don't like to hear that they are wrong. So, they get upset about it and think they are being bullied.

    That said, if someone is actually calling names or being ridiculously mean to someone else, that behavior should be reported. I'd like to see an example of that though. I'm on the forums quite a bit and I have only seen it a few times - and the mods have always dealt with it right away.


    ::applause::

    /end thread
  • Wowat50
    Wowat50 Posts: 16
    There is no reason for anyone to be rude and result to name calling. I don't think there are any stupid questions. Everyone here is here because we are seeking to be the best we can be. I am anyway.
    If you are tired of seeing a question repeated, then just ignore it and move on. Only answer if you can help the person asking the question. Don't try to make them feel stupid for asking.
    A little kindness goes a long way.
  • EmmaReed84
    EmmaReed84 Posts: 263 Member
    I have the perfect solution! Stay away from the boards. :smile: :flowerforyou: Add your friends that you feel you can connect to and leave it at that.

    But why should someone stay away from the boards just because of a few people who can come across rather bullish in their approach to weightloss? What if the person has a question, should they think, I had better not ask in case someone is rude to me. Surely the point of the forum is for support
  • stratcat45
    stratcat45 Posts: 48 Member
    Unfortunately when it comes to public boards (all of them, not just here) you have to deal with the people who get enjoyment out of putting others down. They can't help it - it is so easy to hide in cyber-space.

    If someone has a process that works for them - they refuse to believe that any other process works despite that fact that we are all different and not one thing will work for everyone.

    Some questions get asked over and over....I feel that if you're sick of seeing a repeated question, stay off the thread then...but like I said, some can not help themselves.
This discussion has been closed.

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