MFP not helping or showing support, just being rude!

I agree.

I find it quite funny that people have such strong opinions. Correct me if i am wrong, but we can't all be fitness and nutrition experts or else we wouldn't be on here to try and lose weight in the first place?

If we are posting something that is wrong, don't say we are stupid, don't call us names, just politely correct us so we can see the kind of success we are hoping for. Isn't that why we are all here?? To see success??

Has anyone actually called you stupid? What names have you been called?

It happens all the time. Here is just a short list of the names I have been called -

Cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-*kitten*, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey *kitten*.

And on the flip side , there are a load of stickied threads above for Newbies to read, so that they understand how MFP is designed to work.

And a search function.

I would recommend any new people to take the time to read those stickies, and also try searching first before asking a question, as many of the rude answers are because old timers are fed up of seeing the same questions repeated time and time again.

So if people do a bit of reasearch, they can find their answer without getting a "WTF not this question again!!", which could put them off asking next time they have a question.

I think what has got my back up more is the fact that (from my own personal point of view) all this TDEE stuff is the ONLY single way to do it.

I have nicknamed it My Fitness Preachers LOL.

Every 'body' is different therefore weightloss is going to be different. I think a more friendly approach to the eat more would be "Have you tried this, maybe give it a go and see if it works for you" instead "EAT MORE EAT MORE EAT MORE!!!!!!"

Do you have an example of someone being called stupid (or any other name)?

I'd like to see that link.


I think what happens more frequently is this:

There are a lot of successful people here who have done the research and achieved great results themsevles. Someone else will ask a question about cleanses, shakes, pills, etc, and a successful person will bluntly tell them why it's bad. The problem is that people don't like to hear that they are wrong. So, they get upset about it and think they are being bullied.

That said, if someone is actually calling names or being ridiculously mean to someone else, that behavior should be reported. I'd like to see an example of that though. I'm on the forums quite a bit and I have only seen it a few times - and the mods have always dealt with it right away.

::applause::

/end thread

Preface:
I received a request to post this as a blog entry, so here we have it. This was originally part of a thread about the alleged "cool kids" of MFP. Someone had indicated that sometimes these cool kids aren't so cool. Sometimes they come off sounding like jerks. Because sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference, I made a list of a few phases that I've observed myself and others going through in regard to their weight loss. They are not linear necessarily, and most people probably go from one to another back to another with relative ease, perhaps even depending on the day. We're only human, after. But here they are.

The Christmas Morning Phase:
It's Christmas morning and you're motivated. Duh, you just got presents. You want to play with them all. Getting started is kind of like this, and marketing companies are more than happy to peddle presents to us...designed to excite us. The problem is, a lot of it is crap that's actually designed to make us intellectually lazy and inhibit our critical thinking skills. But that thought seems like such a betrayal that being confronted with it is not only embarrassing but kind of hurtful. So when the supposed cool kid metaphorically stomps in and breaks all of our toys, it's seen as being very mean.

The Know It All Phase:
I may, or may not, have been known to fall into this category myself from time to time. I plead the 5th. You have more than a little knowledge that's often context specific but seems fairly general, so you think it applies to everyone and every situation (or most everyone and most situations), but really you're not sure why it's "True." And sometimes people in this phase really do know it all, more or less. It's what we do with the knowledge that says something about us as well. You see the Christmas Morning people with some amount of condescending compassion because they're simply ignorant. Sometimes you push them gently to the right direction because you know their dreams are fragile and other times you kick them over a cliff because you have had it with hearing about how EVIL bananas are. It really depends on how the Christmas Morning people present themselves because sometimes they're not Christmas Morning people at all...sometimes they're in..

The Flat-Out Liar, Willfully Ignorant Phase:
This may be a matter of perspective. Someone latches onto a fitness/nutrition philosophy with such religious zeal that the "science" behind it seems valid. Frequently discussions about authority and sources will devolve into anecdotal evidence that is ultimately unconvincing. Judging whether or not someone is in this phase can be tricky. Unfortunately, it's very easy for a Christmas Morning Person to look like a Willfully Ignorant person because the Willfully Ignorant derive a certain amount of self-sustaining energy by dangling presents in front of the Christmas Morning crowd.

The Enlightened Phase:
We're all trying for this, or at least we claim we are. I have encountered very few people who get here without dipping their toes in the Know It All pool when the weather is warm. The Enlightened understand how research functions and they're more than willing to have a discussion about it. Not only that but they're skilled at deflecting logical fallacies and questionable research without sounding like a jerk...even when it seems like other party is just trolling or trying to pejorative in some way. The Enlightened keep their cool and allow the other party to hang themselves with their own rope. Their personal satisfaction with themselves is never expressed as humor because it never needs to be expressed at all; it simply is. Their willingness to concede points of failure and growth may or may not be met with their own humor and they probably don't mind other people teasing them. If the teasing is, in fact, cruel, their inner strength allows them to remain confident in themselves without feeding the cruelty by fighting against it. The unfed troll will die of starvation.

If you post a thread that has been beat to death already, you will get rude answers. There is a search function on MFP and when you are new you should search before you post. Read the stickies, that is what they are there for. When you have a question that hasn't been answered 5000 times before, post it and I bet people here won't be rude.

That being said, I have never had anyone be rude to me in the forums, most have been supportive and helpful.

And on the flip side , there are a load of stickied threads above for Newbies to read, so that they understand how MFP is designed to work.

And a search function.

I would recommend any new people to take the time to read those stickies, and also try searching first before asking a question, as many of the rude answers are because old timers are fed up of seeing the same questions repeated time and time again.

So if people do a bit of reasearch, they can find their answer without getting a "WTF not this question again!!", which could put them off asking next time they have a question.

To be honest with you when I was new and asked a question someone responded to me just like you did here. It made me feel bad and not very welcomed in the forum community.

Which part of my post made you feel bad ? I thought I was offerring helpful advice.

If anyone asks "where do I get started" I would always recommend they read all the stickies at the top as I think they are really helpful and informative.

I guess this is another example of tone not being transferred through text, and people taking offense where none is intended.

If we are posting something that is wrong, don't say we are stupid, don't call us names, just politely correct us so we can see the kind of success we are hoping for. Isn't that why we are all here?? To see success??

Has anyone actually called you stupid? What names have you been called?

It happens all the time. Here is just a short list of the names I have been called -

Cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-*kitten*, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey *kitten*.

Well let's be real. You troll these forums. You try to antagonize people. Not that I would call you names, but given some of your posts, I could see how you might get some of this as responses to your posts.