MFP not helping or showing support, just being rude!

And on the flip side , there are a load of stickied threads above for Newbies to read, so that they understand how MFP is designed to work.

And a search function.

I would recommend any new people to take the time to read those stickies, and also try searching first before asking a question, as many of the rude answers are because old timers are fed up of seeing the same questions repeated time and time again.

So if people do a bit of reasearch, they can find their answer without getting a "WTF not this question again!!", which could put them off asking next time they have a question.

To be honest with you when I was new and asked a question someone responded to me just like you did here. It made me feel bad and not very welcomed in the forum community.

Which part of my post made you feel bad ? I thought I was offerring helpful advice.

If anyone asks "where do I get started" I would always recommend they read all the stickies at the top as I think they are really helpful and informative.

I guess this is another example of tone not being transferred through text, and people taking offense where none is intended.

AM DUMBFOUNDED - BEYOND BELIEF

Ok, my turn to be dumbfounded! Which part made you feel bad and which part dumbfounded you?

Im dumbfounded that the top comment was seen as rude.

Never used the word rude. You are reading my post how you want to read it. Because I never even used that word. I said when you ask a question and people tell you to go read, look it up or research it can make you feel bad. Like you are not supposed to be asking a question. That was all. I was not disagreeing with what she said. I was telling her that when I was new I felt that way. Not right now today. Not when I read what she wrote. I was talking about when I was new just like I said. sigh.

I appreciate if you stopped singling me out and talking down to me or I will report you for harassment. I read your post the way you wrote it. you are most definitely one of the mean ones. So condescending.

---

in all fairness - i am not reacting like I normally would. I needed you to see that anyone can be offended by anything, even if it is presented in a calm, thoroughly thought out fashion.
We aren't mean. We just don't know everyone's backstory or their reaction patterns.

How can we possibly be expected to know this?

We cant.

Take what you want that works for you. Ignore what doesnt. That is the same advice that the posters are giving the commenters.

Posters say - if you dont like my thread dont read it.
Commenters say - if you dont like my comment dont read it.

Posters report all the people they dont like.
Commenters get banned.

The end.

Who wins?

All the banned people at goal weight.

This just made me a little weak in the knees. End thread.

What I really find disappointing is when I see someone's post that I like and go to read their profile with the thoughts of adding them as a friend in mind and their profile says "I don't add friends that eat less than XXXX calories a day" or <insert list of other reasons why you can't be my friend here>. I totally understand that you won't add a friend without a message but what's with all the other reasons? Not particularly inviting... or maybe that's the point.

You'll love my thoughts on FR on my profile page then.

Same here.

In order to be my friend you have to have knocked the wind out of me at some point with your logic, experiences, kindness, knowledge, drive, ambition, determination, success, failures or wit.

If you're a new mom, religious, a single guy, a food addict or only losing weight for a wedding - there must be something extra special about you that made me want you as my friend regardless.

if you dont like exercise, or refuse to do anything but cardio, if you refuse to research things for yourself, if you love or hate your eating disorder or if you are a teenager or if you try to get into my pants... GTFO OFF MY PAGE.

What I really find disappointing is when I see someone's post that I like and go to read their profile with the thoughts of adding them as a friend in mind and their profile says "I don't add friends that eat less than XXXX calories a day" or <insert list of other reasons why you can't be my friend here>. I totally understand that you won't add a friend without a message but what's with all the other reasons? Not particularly inviting... or maybe that's the point.

I don't add people as friends that aren't family because I have proven to myself and my wife that I cannot have a female on my friends list that I do not flirt with. I am a complete horndog and I will flirt with almost anyone at the drop of a hat. Because of this, I have removed the temptation by not adding women as friends.

Well, you know your weaknesses, and have addressed them. People have reasons not to add others, nobody should be offended. If they are, they don't need to be your friend on MFP. To each their own.........off into the wind!!!!

I'm going to be amused when you "newbies" are in a thread like this a year from now and defending yourselves against the 2014 Resolutioners batch of "y u so mean" threads.

You really think it will take a year? I give it 4 months.

ETA - As others have said.... Find supportive friends, use the search function, avoid threads that will raise your blood pressure and learn to laugh with the posts. Laughing burns calories...

Very well said!! Just ignore the rude people on here!!
:flowerforyou:

I agree whole heartedly! People are inconsiderate at times, don't let them get you down, there's lots of us on here that are here to help and support each other!

It happens all the time. Here is just a short list of the names I have been called -

Cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-*kitten*, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey *kitten*.

Yes, but only by Clark Griswald.

There are jerks on here. They are everywhere, just like in the real world.

If you post something, there's going to be backlash...some good...some horrible. It happens.

Oh, I've been called a troll, but let it drip off me like water on a ducks back.

Weed through the rudeness, there are some people genuinely trying to help you.

:bigsmile:

I agree, when I first came to the forums, just a few months ago, I was amazed that the vast majority of posters seemed to be unsupporting and preachy. I mean I thought the reason people were on a fitness site were to be fit and to encourage fitness. It seems there are some helpful individuals, with great intentions, who genuinely want everyone to succeed, there are some individuals who do not care if you succeed or not and only want their ego inflated, and there are some individuals who simply want to make themselves feel better; choosing to do so by attempting to insult or belittle others. Unfortunately it is the latter of those that post frequently, until they are banned, and thus cause others to be skeptical and overly judgmental of everyone's comments. As far as where someone was not "rude" and it is just not anothers misinterpretation, I see that quite often. I do see unnecessary rudeness as well, I have chimed in to a few threads and because I have "old fashioned" beliefs (you know be polite, hold doors, pay for dates, offer assistance simply to be helpful, those pesky things that seem to no longer happen for fear of offending someone by implying they can't do it by themselves) I have been ridiculed and quoted followed with "all the signs are there" indicating I am trying to be dishonest or hurtful in some manner, and yeah it was unnecessary. I think the MOD's do a fairly good job in sending out warnings, ...apparently you can't correct someones spelling when they are calling you an idiot (who knew). I do think the forum rules should depend on which forum you are in, but that is a whole different thread. Personally I don't mind people starting a topic that has already been "talked to death" because you never know when someone will shed some particular point of view that suddenly "clicks" and makes it clearer, and really, if everyone used the "Search" button prior to posting a topic there would be no new topics as everything has already been discussed at some point and time.

Have a successful day, and may you reach all of your desired goals.