MFP not helping or showing support, just being rude!
Replies
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Yes, there are rude people here...a proverbial "roll of the eyes" can feel quite rude and condescending. It reminds me of when I had a tonsillectomy/sinus surgery and the Doctor/Staff treated me like just another number. They probably see 3-4 recovering patients/week, so they forgot that I had never experienced it before and was in pain and scared. Same thing here - people forget that you don't know your place here yet or how to lose weight. It happens a lot and it comes off as rudeness.
As in life, take what speaks to you and forget the rest. We are all on our own journey - and in different places within that journey. There is just simply no "one size fits all" advice.0 -
It happens all the time. Here is just a short list of the names I have been called -
Cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-*kitten*, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey *kitten*.
Holy *kitten* - where's the Tylenol?0 -
One other thing that has occurred to me as I have been reading this and one other post today along a similar vein regarding mean and rude people who post to be mean, or whatever. How is it that all these people who say that the commenters are mean know exactly what the commenter's motives and intents are? It seems universal that the people who take offense at the "mean" posts know that the poster is out to get them, and wanting to "tear the others down" or "belittle others to make themselves feel good" or whatever.
Unless the poster/commentor has specifically stated their intent, you shouldn't attach one of your own to it. When you do so, you reveal more about yourself and your possible insecurity than you do of what the person making the offensive comment meant to say.
“We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions.” - Ian Percy0 -
Absolutely agree
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Providing helpful and constructive advice/input/opinions is one thing. Using a "tone" like a jerk when responding and/or using backlash, judgement, any kind of form of bullying or to make the OP feel bad. . .is wrong. And just because there are people who want to reply with a firm and "helpful" response, it doesn't mean they should leave tactfulness out of their reply. I agree there are plenty of rude, unhelpful folks in the forums. I have seen it. The goal here for everyone (I would think) is success and support, and with that comes a need to be positive. . .regardless of how irritated you are with the OP, their questions, and their way of things. Sadly, rude people are everywhere and there always will be.
With that said, we have the choice to avoid these people, and I do. I receive and offer positive support to my friends on here, as well as other friendly and helpful folks that are not on my friends, and those are the people that matter and can make a positive difference. I am here if you, or anyone else who is kind, would like to add me. :-)
Best to you all! Peace.0 -
its my fitness pal folks..
not "my mental health pal" which would be MHP ..hell, maybe I should start that...0 -
And on the flip side , there are a load of stickied threads above for Newbies to read, so that they understand how MFP is designed to work.
And a search function.
I would recommend any new people to take the time to read those stickies, and also try searching first before asking a question, as many of the rude answers are because old timers are fed up of seeing the same questions repeated time and time again.
So if people do a bit of research, they can find their answer without getting a "WTF not this question again!!", which could put them off asking next time they have a question.
^^This
But if an 'old timer' is 'fed up' of seeing the question, then why enter that forum. Let someone else, who still has the patience, offer their advice...... just a thought0 -
its my fitness pal folks..
not "my mental health pal" which would be MHP ..hell, maybe I should start that...
Actually, it would be MMHP.
ETA: Please don't start a thread because of this. I was just making a small correction (before you wasted money on the wrong internet domain name).0 -
Then they should just not answer, if they're fed up. Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.
What colour is ignorance?
Rose
as in rose colored glasses0 -
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its my fitness pal folks..
not "my mental health pal" which would be MHP ..hell, maybe I should start that...
Actually, it would be MMHP.
ETA: Please don't start a thread because of this. I was just making a small correction (before you wasted money on the wrong internet domain name).
HA - after I posted I realized there would be an extra M ....it sounds kinda cool ...MMHP ...0 -
Then they should just not answer, if they're fed up. Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.
What colour is ignorance?
Rose
as in rose colored glasses
Perfect.0 -
I just don't understand why all the "old timers" have to even respond to these overly asked questions. You don't "own" these boards just because you have 2,000+ posts under your belt. When I first started I didnt realize there was a search option. (Yes, I didn't look very hard.) If people would just respond to these questions with a suggestion to do a search for the answer instead of their snide, snarky, "i'm so cool cuz I have posted 2,000xs" answers, the newbies wouldn't get this negative impression.0
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I just don't understand why all the "old timers" have to even respond to these overly asked questions. You don't "own" these boards just because you have 2,000+ posts under your belt. When I first started I didnt realize there was a search option. (Yes, I didn't look very hard.) If people would just respond to these questions with a suggestion to do a search for the answer instead of their snide, snarky, "i'm so cool cuz I have posted 2,000xs" answers, the newbies wouldn't get this negative impression.
so your saying if you have 1000 + posts you can't reply to threads? Real nice...0 -
. I'm tired of your so-called "old timers" acting like they own the place and give demeaning responses to threads they shouldn't even bother answering.
People should remember the old saying, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". If you don't agree with something, you can say it in a polite manner.
Demeaning responses being..."No." Or "That won't work." Or "Try the search function, there is more information there than I can convey to you in a single post."???
Because that's what I see people getting upset about. It's ridiculous.
Seriously, if I become an "old timer" on here I'm going to shoot myself in the face.0 -
. I'm tired of your so-called "old timers" acting like they own the place and give demeaning responses to threads they shouldn't even bother answering.
People should remember the old saying, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". If you don't agree with something, you can say it in a polite manner.
Demeaning responses being..."No." Or "That won't work." Or "Try the search function, there is more information there than I can convey to you in a single post."???
Because that's what I see people getting upset about. It's ridiculous.
Seriously, if I become an "old timer" on here I'm going to shoot myself in the face.
I support you on your weight loss journey.0 -
blaming the internet for peoples douchebaggery is like blaming a womans short skirt for rape.0
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I agree with you. I've been on MFP since 2010, lost 95 pounds here and then gained most of it back because of some issues happening at home. I came back here for support, and began looking through the forums then, only to find that things had really changed here.
I think it depends on where you come from in life. Some people don't come from a life of being bullied or made fun of, and they don't know how it feels to be belittled. Some people have always been the ones to strike first or the more popular and naturally accepted of a group. As someone who has always been morbidly obese I've dealt with teasing my entire life, and use websites like this to escape from that. I enjoy the support. The forums, to me, are very similar to how I was treated in high-school - ostracized and made to feel like an outcast for not really fitting in.
I don't post very often, and I'm sure that won't really affect anyone here, but I felt like saying it.0 -
. I'm tired of your so-called "old timers" acting like they own the place and give demeaning responses to threads they shouldn't even bother answering.
People should remember the old saying, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". If you don't agree with something, you can say it in a polite manner.
Demeaning responses being..."No." Or "That won't work." Or "Try the search function, there is more information there than I can convey to you in a single post."???
Because that's what I see people getting upset about. It's ridiculous.
Seriously, if I become an "old timer" on here I'm going to shoot myself in the face.
but if your an "old timer" would that not mean that you have had success in your weight loss/strength training/etc goals????0 -
I just don't understand why all the "old timers" have to even respond to these overly asked questions. You don't "own" these boards just because you have 2,000+ posts under your belt. When I first started I didnt realize there was a search option. (Yes, I didn't look very hard.) If people would just respond to these questions with a suggestion to do a search for the answer instead of their snide, snarky, "i'm so cool cuz I have posted 2,000xs" answers, the newbies wouldn't get this negative impression.
so your saying if you have 1000 + posts you can't reply to threads? Real nice...
I said 2000+...but I guess 1000+ works too, as you have proved.0 -
. I'm tired of your so-called "old timers" acting like they own the place and give demeaning responses to threads they shouldn't even bother answering.
People should remember the old saying, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". If you don't agree with something, you can say it in a polite manner.
Demeaning responses being..."No." Or "That won't work." Or "Try the search function, there is more information there than I can convey to you in a single post."???
Because that's what I see people getting upset about. It's ridiculous.
Seriously, if I become an "old timer" on here I'm going to shoot myself in the face.
Right!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
I just don't understand why all the "old timers" have to even respond to these overly asked questions. You don't "own" these boards just because you have 2,000+ posts under your belt. When I first started I didnt realize there was a search option. (Yes, I didn't look very hard.) If people would just respond to these questions with a suggestion to do a search for the answer instead of their snide, snarky, "i'm so cool cuz I have posted 2,000xs" answers, the newbies wouldn't get this negative impression.
They reply because despite threads like this one, they are still keen to give advice Just because people don't give the answers the OP is looking for, or says it in the way the OP or other readers would say, then the OP and others get offended.
Every member of MFP has the right to respond to any post they wish. There is no criteria of length of time here or number of posts already made.
People need to get tougher if they want to use the forums. This is the internet. You like what you read great, you don't like it...move on....creating and fuelling posts like this is not making it any better.0 -
And on the flip side , there are a load of stickied threads above for Newbies to read, so that they understand how MFP is designed to work.
And a search function.
I would recommend any new people to take the time to read those stickies, and also try searching first before asking a question, as many of the rude answers are because old timers are fed up of seeing the same questions repeated time and time again.
So if people do a bit of reasearch, they can find their answer without getting a "WTF not this question again!!", which could put them off asking next time they have a question.
QFT!0 -
I just don't understand why all the "old timers" have to even respond to these overly asked questions. You don't "own" these boards just because you have 2,000+ posts under your belt. When I first started I didnt realize there was a search option. (Yes, I didn't look very hard.) If people would just respond to these questions with a suggestion to do a search for the answer instead of their snide, snarky, "i'm so cool cuz I have posted 2,000xs" answers, the newbies wouldn't get this negative impression.
*said, not in a defensive or accusatory tone, but more because I am curious*
would you prefer that "old timers" not be active in the forums, or perhaps segregated into a "retirement community of sorts"
perhaps we could create an Old Folks Home group, and then all the younger people can come visit the old timers when they want snippets of wisdom. And the old folks can play backgammon and wish their kids would stop by once in a while...
It's kind of amusing in a way, because isn't that what often happens in real life? the teenagers ignore their parent's advice because they know better... and their parents are SO MEAN... and yet... when they become parents themselves, they start behaving the EXACT SAME WAY.
Does it mean that the parent has changed, or the teenager?
Is it the parent that was rude, or was it that the child was unwilling to hear?
Should the parent let the child do whatever they want, and not take any corrective action?
aka... no more spankings!
IMO... no thank you, I'd rather learn now, than wait until my habits are set and I struggle with changing them.
ETA... and spankings can be fun :laugh:0 -
I just don't understand why all the "old timers" have to even respond to these overly asked questions. You don't "own" these boards just because you have 2,000+ posts under your belt. When I first started I didnt realize there was a search option. (Yes, I didn't look very hard.) If people would just respond to these questions with a suggestion to do a search for the answer instead of their snide, snarky, "i'm so cool cuz I have posted 2,000xs" answers, the newbies wouldn't get this negative impression.
They reply because despite threads like this one, they are still keen to give advice Just because people don't give the answers the OP is looking for, or says it in the way the OP or other readers would say, then the OP and others get offended.
Every member of MFP has the right to respond to any post they wish. There is no criteria of length of time here or number of posts already made.
People need to get tougher if they want to use the forums. This is the internet. You like what you read great, you don't like it...move on....creating and fuelling posts like this is not making it any better.
Furthermore, wouldn't you rather the "old timers" who aren't new and are successful in living healthy answer your question? I would much rather hear from the people who have succeeded and tend to be well researched.0 -
I just don't understand why all the "old timers" have to even respond to these overly asked questions. You don't "own" these boards just because you have 2,000+ posts under your belt. When I first started I didnt realize there was a search option. (Yes, I didn't look very hard.) If people would just respond to these questions with a suggestion to do a search for the answer instead of their snide, snarky, "i'm so cool cuz I have posted 2,000xs" answers, the newbies wouldn't get this negative impression.
im sorry, by 'old timers' do you mean those who have successfully reached their goal?
do you only want answers from other people on day two?
confused0 -
I just don't understand why all the "old timers" have to even respond to these overly asked questions. You don't "own" these boards just because you have 2,000+ posts under your belt. When I first started I didnt realize there was a search option. (Yes, I didn't look very hard.) If people would just respond to these questions with a suggestion to do a search for the answer instead of their snide, snarky, "i'm so cool cuz I have posted 2,000xs" answers, the newbies wouldn't get this negative impression.
*said, not in a defensive or accusatory tone, but more because I am curious*
would you prefer that "old timers" not be active in the forums, or perhaps segregated into a "retirement community of sorts"
perhaps we could create an Old Folks Home group, and then all the younger people can come visit the old timers when they want snippets of wisdom. And the old folks can play backgammon and wish their kids would stop by once in a while...
It's kind of amusing in a way, because isn't that what often happens in real life? the teenagers ignore their parent's advice because they know better... and their parents are SO MEAN... and yet... when they become parents themselves, they start behaving the EXACT SAME WAY.
Does it mean that the parent has changed, or the teenager?
Is it the parent that was rude, or was it that the child was unwilling to hear?
Should the parent let the child do whatever they want, and not take any corrective action?
aka... no more spankings!
IMO... no thank you, I'd rather learn now, than wait until my habits are set and I struggle with changing them.
HUMPS YOU0 -
I just don't understand why all the "old timers" have to even respond to these overly asked questions. You don't "own" these boards just because you have 2,000+ posts under your belt. When I first started I didnt realize there was a search option. (Yes, I didn't look very hard.) If people would just respond to these questions with a suggestion to do a search for the answer instead of their snide, snarky, "i'm so cool cuz I have posted 2,000xs" answers, the newbies wouldn't get this negative impression.
so your saying if you have 1000 + posts you can't reply to threads? Real nice...
I said 2000+...but I guess 1000+ works too, as you have proved.
wait, I am mean because I replied to your wise *kitten* thread??? I wish I could live in that universe....
Additionally, I was not the one who proposed segregation of "old timers"....wouldn't you want advice from people who have had success?0 -
I just don't understand why all the "old timers" have to even respond to these overly asked questions. You don't "own" these boards just because you have 2,000+ posts under your belt. When I first started I didnt realize there was a search option. (Yes, I didn't look very hard.) If people would just respond to these questions with a suggestion to do a search for the answer instead of their snide, snarky, "i'm so cool cuz I have posted 2,000xs" answers, the newbies wouldn't get this negative impression.
im sorry, by 'old timers' do you mean those who have successfully reached their goal?
do you only want answers from other people on day two?
confused
that makes two of us....0 -
aka... no more spankings!
IMO... no thank you, I'd rather learn now, than wait until my habits are set and I struggle with changing them.
ETA... and spankings can be fun :laugh:
Just here for the spankings!
0
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