My husband is boycotting my cooking...

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  • janahcarter
    janahcarter Posts: 42 Member
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    My husband can either eat what I cook or fix himself something else. He's a big boy and if he doesn't want to eat what I've fixed, he can carry his happy butt in the kitchen and make something to his liking. Plain and simple.
  • Willowana
    Willowana Posts: 493 Member
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    And if he decorated the lounge in a hideous colour than you should take it or leave it? How about if he removed the flowers and turned the garden into a football picth, take it or leave it? If he bought a set of screwdrivers for you for a birthday present, take it or leave it? Pretty soon you have a horrible relationship. What's wrong with trying to make your partner happy?

    If this was just an issue about food, then he has plenty of viable options. He can eat it. He can make his own. He can go out to eat. She IS trying to compromise by making the foods she knows he likes, but using less oil, etc. He's the one stamping his feet saying if it's not loaded down with oil or fried up, he's not touching it. There's no compromise there. That's the problem.

    I'm all for negotiating....but that requires two adults sitting at the negotiation table figuring out where each can give a little. He's not willing to bend at all. THAT needs to be addressed and soon. He can go out any day of the week and grab a burger. This all boils down to potato pancakes. Really??? That's childish and passive aggressive. No two ways about that.

    He's welcome to eat whatever he wants. That's not the same as redecorating the house in which both have to suffer. He doesn't have to suffer her cooking. He can get off his *kitten* and find his own food.
  • mintywank
    mintywank Posts: 5
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    Wow so many selfish women on here. No wonder the divorce rate is so high.

    well aren't you a misogynistic ****wad. or just a troll. either way you're horrible and if a dude doesn't like his spouse's cooking he can bloody well get off his *kitten* and cook something himself.
  • vashnic
    vashnic Posts: 93
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    He does have way more spare time than I do. I do the cooking because I know how to. He can cook a little, but it stresses him out.

    I'll just make him a burger this weekend. Maybe I'll have one too. He just needs to get over himself. He's being a baby.

    There is nothing preventing him from learning how to cook, especially with all that spare time.

    Will guarantee that he will quickly learn to get over the horrible 'stress' of cooking once he starts getting hungry. Or learn to better appreciate your amazing food/menu!
    And if he decorated the lounge in a hideous colour than you should take it or leave it? How about if he removed the flowers and turned the garden into a football picth, take it or leave it? If he bought a set of screwdrivers for you for a birthday present, take it or leave it? Pretty soon you have a horrible relationship. What's wrong with trying to make your partner happy?

    OP's husband doesn't seem to be working with the 'make your partner happy' bit. She seems to be doing all the compromising. And if OP bought the house, the paint, and decorated the lounge, I think it would be bad form to complain that the shade of white was slightly too beige!
  • zillah73
    zillah73 Posts: 505 Member
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    Tell him what my mom told all us kids growing up:

    There are two options for dinner tonight:
    1) Take it.
    or
    2) Leave it.

    And if he decorated the lounge in a hideous colour than you should take it or leave it? How about if he removed the flowers and turned the garden into a football picth, take it or leave it? If he bought a set of screwdrivers for you for a birthday present, take it or leave it? Pretty soon you have a horrible relationship. What's wrong with trying to make your partner happy?

    What's wrong is buying two sets of groceries and pandering to someone who being unsupportive and infantile. She's already said he has eaten everything on this menu before and liked it and requested it again. Suddenly he doesn't want it? Unless he has some kind of sinus infection disrupting his senses of taste and smell, he's deliberately acting like a boob.
  • Ayla70
    Ayla70 Posts: 284 Member
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    Did you say your husband? Or your 2 year old child? :huh:
    I'm not a terrible cook at all. In fact I get compliments about my cooking from everyone but him. The only way I can tell he likes something I've made is if a week or two later he asks me to make it. He's always really critical of anything I make....he just says it makes me a better cook in the long run.

    So ever since I've been trying to lose weight I'm not as heavy handed with oils and butter, but I still use them frequently. I don't make really low calorie dishes. I typically have about 500-600 calories left for my dinner, and he gets a much bigger serving than I do (around 800-1000 calories).

    Ever since I've been working out more and making healthy lunches and semi-healthy dinners he's starting to give me an attitude. He says I might need to lose weight but he doesn't so don't put him on a diet too.

    I'm not. I know I'm giving him enough food, because i know what I'm feeding myself...and he gets almost twice as much food.

    So he's been requesting i make a bunch of deep fried food and burgers and stuff. Since I didn't he's just deciding that he won't eat anything I cook...even if it's stuff he likes.

    This is so frustrating. I already went food shopping for the week and planned out all this weeks meals. So am I just supposed to cook all that food just for myself?
  • siriuslestrange1
    siriuslestrange1 Posts: 74 Member
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    This may not be a very popular answer (or it may, I dunno), but he's acting like a child, so treat him like a child! When I was a kid, my mom made dinner and the rule was, you ate what you were given, or you didn't eat. I say you do that with him. Granted, he is physically an adult so he can get food for himself, but it sounds like he's the kind of person that wants you to take care of him. If I'm right in this assumption, after a little while, he'll realize that you don't mind making just one or two portions for yourself, instead of 3 or 4 for you and him.

    As far as the groceries you already bought; cook what you planned on cooking. If there are left overs, use them for lunches. If you don't want to do that, put them in freezer safe containers and freeze them for another meal. You'll get just as much use out of the food, and if he wants to keep pouting and not eat, you have meals ready made for those nights when you just don't feel like cooking.
  • cathdrew2
    cathdrew2 Posts: 136 Member
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    Possible Problems:
    He is a control freak and is trying to control you.
    He is also jealous and is worried that you are going to get attention from other men.
    He knows he married "up" and is worried that you might dump him.
    He is a passive aggressive personality and this rejection is his way of hurting you.

    This^ and Lyssa62 (you go, Girl!)

    You've gotten so much good advice here (with the exception of Mr. 1950's). I can totally relate. My husband refuses to eat just about anything I make lately. Gourmet meals I learned at a cooking school or a quick stir fry, it doesn't matter. If it's not a pepperoni pizza or a bag of chips and salsa, he'll usually pass. I love variety - he wants the same few things over and over. I cook for myself and the two kids and if he eats, great. If not, we have lunch and sometimes dinner the next day which is a huge time saver for me. I am not a short order cook and neither should you be. Sounds spoiled (like mine) and immature (even in his 50s, for mine). I will say mine is not controlling - if he doesn't eat what I've cooked he's more than happy to pick up the pizza for himself on the way home.

    Is there a reason you *have* to cook for him? Let him fend for himself and see what happens. If this turns into a big deal, see a counselor, by yourself if he won't go. I suspect this is just the tip of the iceberg, but I hope I am wrong. Best wishes...
  • arlenem1974
    arlenem1974 Posts: 437 Member
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    bump
  • Dulcemami4ever
    Dulcemami4ever Posts: 344 Member
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    It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

    I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol
  • PamelaLavoie25
    PamelaLavoie25 Posts: 4
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    I don't understand why he is asking you to make his food?? weird
  • NZhellkat
    NZhellkat Posts: 355 Member
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    Wow so many selfish women on here. No wonder the divorce rate is so high.

    I believe it's called COMPROMISE. My hubby knows if he doesn't like what I make, which is seldom, then he is free to make his own meals. Just as I am free to make myself something different if I don't like what he makes, which is seldom as well. Thankfully he is not nor has been a man-child. On the rare occasion that I want something he doesn't I will make an alternative for him. Then and only then. But we both understand that we are in this relationship/marriage together.
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
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    It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

    I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol

    Finally, a woman with common sense!
  • NRSPAM
    NRSPAM Posts: 961 Member
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    I think she's the one being selfish. Stop boo-hoo'ing on a message board and fry that man a burger.

    That spoiled man-child can fry his own damn burger. Like a busy housewife doesn't have better things to do with her time than make TWO dinners every night! And what happens when their children get older, and realize they too can get mom to make them whatever they want just by throwing a fit? What a dangerous precedence he's setting!

    Wow, requesting a burger is a life or death situation LOL......

    I think we can both agree, though, that there is a very distinct difference between "requesting a burger" and boycotting your spouse's cooking because you don't GET that burger. Therein lies the difference between a grown-@ss man and coddled *kitten*.

    AND...it wasn't just about a burger. The husband does not like any of the healthy food that she cooks, is what she's saying, and he is refusing to eat it anymore. If it was just about A burger, I don't think it would be such a problem...well I would hope not anyway.
  • sassafrascas
    sassafrascas Posts: 191 Member
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    I do all the cooking for my family I do not expect everyone to eat What I eat, it is harder but if he is used to you making dinner and now all of a sudden you want him to cook, that seems like it will put more strain on the relationship. He already seems to resent having to eat what you are cooking now you go tell him eat it or go cook yourself? Sounds kind of harsh. If you can't talk to him and get him on board with a healthier-ish meal plan then, find some other way to keep the peace. "Just cook it yourself" doesn't seem like it will go over well.
    Good luck!
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
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    Hmm so all your POSSIBLE problems are his fault? There is no POSSIBLE way that you are just hearing one side to the story and he might paint a different picture altogether?

    Ok I missed the nuance here myself, so, cutting you some slack: He is REFUSING TO EAT DINNER because he doesn't like the food. Even if OP's horrible (and honestly she sounds amazing, no way I'd ever garden) - is that what a grown up human does?

    Every argument has two sides. I'm guessing if we heard his then it might be different.
    Maybe his dinner was a massive pleasure in his life, something he looked forward to. Maybe it was one of the reasons that he loves his wife so much "My wife's cooking is fantastic!" He boasts to his mates "I look forward to her dinners every day". Life is tough, work is hard, every day is a battle. Eating nice foods is a simple pleasure that helps get through the day......

    ....And she has suddenly taken away that pleasure

    I can't stand going shopping, I do it because my wife likes it and it makes me happy to know she likes it. I don't like cleaning her car, I do it because I like to make her happy. She doesn't like standing in front of the stove making me dinner, she does it becuase it makes me happy. She's not my slave, I'm not hers, we do things we don't really like for each other. What's wrong with that?
  • Marcellus_08
    Marcellus_08 Posts: 253
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    "Eat the dinner or eat my **** for dinner, you pick, and by the way its your turn to do the dishes"


    That's what I do, and I have an awesome marriage. Even if we both ***** about each others cooking haha.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I'm going to one again thank God and my rabbit that I'm single.


    Seriously... Your husband sounds like a petulant child. How absurd.
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
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    It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

    I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol

    Finally, a woman with common sense!

    Aren't you a woman? (I mean, troll-woman.)

    So being a woman means I have to agree with a bunch of selfish women? She clearly said she has chosen to be the cook in the relationship. Well the man is sick of all that fancy diet crap. I dont blame him for wanting a pizza, burger, fries, etc. PLan the menu out for 2, not just 1.
  • Willowana
    Willowana Posts: 493 Member
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    It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

    I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol

    Finally, a woman with common sense!

    Aren't you a woman? (I mean, troll-woman.)

    It's okay. If the troll is a woman, let her get the crappy men-children out there. It takes at least one of them off the market and she gets to be the "little woman" who feels validated because she has a man (even though it's a man NONE of us would want!). If it's a man-troll, then he probably IS a man-child that can't get a woman to take care of him. Either way, it's not a problem. :laugh:
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