Master Cleanse

I would SO DO a pop tart cleanse. :laugh:

In for Pop Tart cleanse.

I've been doing a pop tart cleanse all this time without knowing it! I guess THAT'S the reason for my success!!!

After reading countless threads on the message boards, i have come to realize that my body is just teeming with toxins. Therefore, my only option is to start the 14 day Clorox Cleanse. You can only have 8 glasses of Clorox bleach mixed with Tabasco sauce and kumquat juice for 2 weeks. And it's recommended that you crush up and snort 1 Ex-Lax pill right before bed. Who wants to do it with me? If you try to debunk this miracle cleanse/diet that makes you un-supportive and mean. ;-}

(yes, this is a joke)

I did it for 19 days and lost maybe 3pounds. No nutrients going in and I am guessing my body was in starvation mode and holding on to my fat for dear life. It's actually better to put in as much cayenne pepper as you can handle.

So you do the salt water flush in the morning which makes you go to the bathroom and then drink as much as you can. It's better to drink more then 6-7 glasses a day and at night the herbal teas. At first it was disgusting but you get used to it. I would drink like 10 or 11 a day. I loved licking the measuring spoon after I poured the maple syrup in. Make sure you get the right kind of grade maple syrup. I found it at a local health store.

I felt fine on it and I actually had energy, but I had major food cravings. So if there really are benefits from it and it does clean the body out I hope I got them but weightloss wasn't one of them.

I would SO DO a pop tart cleanse. :laugh:

In for Pop Tart cleanse.

Um. Where do you put the ice cream?

Helps lubricate the pop tarts

Why would you need to lubricate...
OMG where do you put those???

The only way to do the pop tart cleanse correctly is to layer the ingredients for the cleanse and then ingest them. Ice cream for lubrication is fine, but certainly not mandatory. It can help with the speed in which the cleanse will take effect.

I would SO DO a pop tart cleanse. :laugh:

In for Pop Tart cleanse.

Um. Where do you put the ice cream?

Helps lubricate the pop tarts

Why would you need to lubricate...
OMG where do you put those???

The only way to do the pop tart cleanse correctly is to layer the ingredients for the cleanse and then ingest them. Ice cream for lubrication is fine, but certainly not mandatory. It can help with the speed in which the cleanse will take effect.

wait, so, it just needs to be layered? Will this get rid of toxinz for me?

I would SO DO a pop tart cleanse. :laugh:

In for Pop Tart cleanse.

Um. Where do you put the ice cream?

Helps lubricate the pop tarts

Why would you need to lubricate...
OMG where do you put those???

The only way to do the pop tart cleanse correctly is to layer the ingredients for the cleanse and then ingest them. Ice cream for lubrication is fine, but certainly not mandatory. It can help with the speed in which the cleanse will take effect.

wait, so, it just needs to be layered? Will this get rid of toxinz for me?

Mind. Blown. :flowerforyou:

I would SO DO a pop tart cleanse. :laugh:

In for Pop Tart cleanse.

Um. Where do you put the ice cream?

Helps lubricate the pop tarts

Why would you need to lubricate...
OMG where do you put those???

The only way to do the pop tart cleanse correctly is to layer the ingredients for the cleanse and then ingest them. Ice cream for lubrication is fine, but certainly not mandatory. It can help with the speed in which the cleanse will take effect.

wait, so, it just needs to be layered? Will this get rid of toxinz for me?

Mind. Blown. :flowerforyou:

Yes, but are all the toxins gone????

ETA: I love that little corner perched on top of the whole cleanse tart.

Bacon, apple, and brie on brown sugar cinnamon? Tell me I'm right, because I have those Pop Tarts, and I CAN GET THE REST!!!!!!

yes but it all has to be organic/free range for the toxins.

So if you find where they raise free range pop tarts, let me know.

Bacon, apple, and brie on brown sugar cinnamon? Tell me I'm right, because I have those Pop Tarts, and I CAN GET THE REST!!!!!!

yes but it all has to be organic/free range for the toxins.

So if you find where they raise free range pop tarts, let me know.

Toxinz will die of embarrassment in the presence of such incredible greatness. Off to the store--I most definitely need this cleanse.

how can I put this nicely....

Totally off subject...but this gif crack me up. EVERY. TIME.

There is a free range pop tart farm near me. I guess I've been blind in not getting mine there. They're so much more expensive.

Yes, but are all the toxins gone????

ETA: I love that little corner perched on top of the whole cleanse tart.

Waste a corner? Blasphemy. Ain't nobody got time for that.

My point exactly. TBH - the corners and sides are my favorite part. The filling is secondary.

When I saw this title I thought it was a joke, sounds like the OP is serious - has anyone just told her NO?? :noway:

At least a dozen times...on the first page of this thread alone.

wait, so, it just needs to be layered? Will this get rid of toxinz for me?

WANT

Because it needs repeating :drinker:

When I saw this title I thought it was a joke, sounds like the OP is serious - has anyone just told her NO?? :noway:

Yeah, and then we all got blasted to hell, told how we were mean and trolls and parasites. So we gave up and made the thread about pop tarts instead. :laugh:

Seems legit.