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    romantic advice?

    24

    Replies

    • Posts: 22,281 Member
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      they usually come around.... after more than ten years? I think not.

      dude seriously if it hasn't happened in ten years it's not going to. this is not a harry met sally movie. it's real life where men try to hit in the first 3 dates or they book it. this is not that kind of situation. it's friends only. confusing but true.
    • Posts: 3,677 Member
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      dude seriously if it hasn't happened in ten years it's not going to. this is not a harry met sally movie. it's real life where men try to hit in the first 3 dates or they book it. this is not that kind of situation. it's friends only. confusing but true.

      Not even confusing.

      Just true.

      Sorry, OP, I think you need to move on.
    • Posts: 1,338 Member
      ...
      this is not a harry met sally movie.
      ...

      Never seen it.

      However, I do think we agree on this one.
      Sorry, OP, I think you need to move on.

      I second this one as well.
    • Posts: 138 Member
      I wasted 20 years wanting to be with one of my best friends but afraid to damage the friendship. I finally got the courage up to ask her and you know what? It's freakin' AWESOME. For the first time sine I was in my early 20s, I'm happy.

      If you're willing to listen to a total stranger, I say go for it. If your friendship is as strong as you think it is, it will survive regardless of the romantic outcome. Just don't spend half your life thinking about what might have been.
    • Posts: 14,025 Member
      Absolutely do NOT make the first move and do NOT ask him "where is this going"...

      Would you respect him if you had to lead the relationship?

      Does he date around? Ask him why/why not, and maybe what he's looking for with specifics.
      If you match, laugh about it and just wait, they usually come around.
      If not, nothing lost.

      So it isnt acceptable for a woman to open the door up to something more? I completely disagree.
    • Posts: 14,025 Member
      I say go for it and keep us posted.
    • Posts: 1,651 Member
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      So it isnt acceptable for a woman to open the door up to something more? I completely disagree.

      I disagree too! I put the moves on my husband over 12yrs ago. Have never been happier with that decision.
    • Posts: 22,281 Member
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      So it isnt acceptable for a woman to open the door up to something more? I completely disagree.

      Dude I will KNOCK down a door with my high heels on if i think there is an interested man i am attracted to on the other side who is hesitating for whatever reason. but this is not the case here. after 10 years he would have done something. and if he hasn't is that the kind of man OP or any woman wants? Not me personally. we shall see about her.
    • Posts: 3,677 Member
      show previous quotes

      Dude I will KNOCK down a door with my high heels on if i think there is an interested man i am attracted to on the other side who is hesitating for whatever reason. but this is not the case here. after 10 years he would have done something. and if he hasn't is that the kind of man OP or any woman wants? Not me personally. we shall see about her.

      Winner winner. I like this one.
    • Posts: 621 Member
      You'll never know unless you come out and ask him. Unless you're happy to stay friends (and it sounds like you're not), and he's really the friend you say he is, then stop wimping out and just bloody ask him.
    • Posts: 1,259 Member
      YOLO
    • Posts: 716 Member
      I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

      When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

      I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

      We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

      I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.
    • Posts: 3,677 Member
      I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

      When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

      I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

      We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

      I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.


      So.... there are soul mates, therefore there are not friend zones, and don't do anything about it.

      Solid advice.
    • Posts: 14,025 Member
      I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

      When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

      I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

      We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

      I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

      Meant to be together, but should do nothing. Legit.
    • Posts: 621 Member
      I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

      When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

      I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

      We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

      I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.


      I came away from reading this going...er, what?
    • Posts: 1,259 Member
      I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

      When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

      I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

      We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

      I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

      so you say they are soul mates but they shouldnt do anything? so basically just, nothing?
    • Posts: 3,677 Member
      show previous quotes


      I came away from reading this going...er, what?

      Don't worry, you're not alone.
    • Posts: 14,025 Member
      Hehe. Collective DAFUQ?
    • Posts: 22,281 Member
      I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

      When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

      I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

      We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

      I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

      "soul mates for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." like that?
    • Posts: 716 Member
      show previous quotes

      Meant to be together, but should do nothing. Legit.

      Wow, smaller words are not less important. I said IF. None of us can know. It'll happen if it's meant to happen.
    • Posts: 716 Member
      show previous quotes

      "soul mates for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." like that?

      I've never heard that, but I guess it fits.
    • Posts: 3,677 Member
      show previous quotes

      Wow, smaller words are not less important. I said IF. None of us can know. It'll happen if it's meant to happen.

      More importantly, OP live your life like it won't happen.

      And if it does, we can all be pleasantly surprised together.
    • Posts: 1,651 Member
      show previous quotes

      Wow, smaller words are not less important. I said IF. None of us can know. It'll happen if it's meant to happen.

      IF it was meant to happen, it would've by now.
    • Posts: 3,677 Member
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      IF it was meant to happen, it would've by now.

      But didn't you see that man who waited TWENTY YEARS to declare himself?? Maybe he's just shy.
    • Posts: 1,259 Member
      Op where art thou?
    • Posts: 621 Member
      I'm a big believer that if you don't like something, you change it. If you want more with this guy, the best way to find out if that is possible is to do something. Or be happy not to do something, and forget about it completely, and don't think about it anymore. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Sheesh, it's not rocket surgery.
    • Posts: 14,025 Member
      If I took 20 years to declare my love for someone, I would expect a punch to the face for wasting time.



      Am I alone in not believing in soul mates?
    • Posts: 621 Member
      If I took 20 years to declare my love for someone, I would expect a punch to the face for wasting time.



      Am I alone in not believing in soul mates?

      I don't believe in soul mates. At all.
    • Posts: 3,677 Member
      If I took 20 years to declare my love for someone, I would expect a punch to the face for wasting time.



      Am I alone in not believing in soul mates?

      I don't believe in soul mates, per se. Not in the sense that there is only one person in the world that you are "meant" to be with.

      Nevertheless, twenty years or ten years, if they're wasting their time like that, it might be because someone led them to believe they'd be waiting around.
    • Posts: 1,651 Member
      show previous quotes

      But didn't you see that man who waited TWENTY YEARS to declare himself?? Maybe he's just shy.

      OP, if he's shy, you need to be ready to just throw him down and have your way with him. Don't worry girl, you've earned it! Get yours!
    This discussion has been closed.

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