Relocating for Love
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When you meet "the one" you'll do whatever it takes to give it a chance. For love, anything is worth a chance.
Im a sucker for Romance, and to me this is its purest form. Im young and I adjust well.0 -
I absolutely agree w/you MCD I have thought about all of the above and Im the kind of person that's dedicated and forthright and I wouldn't go into a situation b4 I knew the true intentions were that we'd end up in marriage.
Ok, back the truck up, though. You guys have met in real life, yes? At least the once? While I think MCD is going way overboard (see also, love not valid) I think she has a point in that you need to simmer down a bit. You said he's the one with cold feet - what, exactly, are you planning to do?
I needed to get married sooner rather than later, wouldn't recommend that off the bat. If we didn't get married, I couldn't have stayed. It was a risk, but as I say I'd known the guy at least online for 10 years, so I knew he was stable and not prone to dramalama flameouts and moving around.
Dedicated and forthright is awesome. Practical with a backup plan, though, that's what you have to be. I had one. I had enough cash to get back home if I needed it, stashed with my mom.0 -
No, I wasn't entirely agreeing w/MCD I just see where her concerns are with if its the right person.
He brought it to my attention, he didn't think long distance would work.
We have met on Skype, He wants too meet in the physical.
I want to as well.
Yep, I have plenty of cash too fall back on.
I have a plan B.
I have a place to come back to if I have to.0 -
No, I wasn't entirely agreeing w/MCD I just see where her concerns are with if its the right person.
He brought it to my attention, he didn't think long distance would work.
We have met on Skype, He wants too meet in the physical.
I want to as well.
Yep, I have plenty of cash too fall back on.
I have a plan B.
I have a place to come back to if I have to.
So just go meet him then. Spend the weekend. Have fun, see what happens. Your cart is about a million miles ahead of your horse.0 -
I'd actually meet someone before I thought about moving to be with them.
Just saying.0 -
When I was 18, I moved 2000 miles away to be with my boyfriend.
Two years later, we moved back to my hometown for school - then back to his hometown - then to an entirely new city. We've been together for 10 years now.
Life is an adventure. If circumstances permit it, why not try living somewhere new? Even if the relationship doesn't work out, you will still have expanded your horizons.
OMG thank you, I believe in this as well! I moved 2x for love, but I was young and immature. It didn't work out. Im better equipped now for a real relationship.
then why are you asking this question ?0 -
Yea, that was the plan all along! I just wanted some input. I was cramming it all in one topic, too get it all out there.0
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When you meet "the one" you'll do whatever it takes to give it a chance. For love, anything is worth a chance.
This thread should be called "The Notebook"0 -
Met online - Dated long distance - I lived in the United States, he lives in Canada. Moved to Canada from the United States 7 years ago and have no regrets.
wait..you moved from the States to Canada and you don't regret it?0 -
Have any one of you done it?
I'm sure many of us have. I haven't. But then again, I'm a loner and I hate living with others. Specially women. They're a pain in the *kitten* to live with. I often don't even let them stay the night. Ever heard of a cab? Start using it please!
Would any of you consider it?
LOL seriously. I really hate living with others. I once woke up next to a girl (she passed out drunk and I was too nice to let her stay) and it seriously freaked me out. Have you ever woken up next to a woman you only met with her makeup on? They somehow deteriorate over night...
Is long Distance a deal breaker?
I once told my ex that my Indian family is forcefully arrange marriaging me. I have been married to some poor imaginary indian girl for almost 10 years now. We've never met. So yes. long distance CAN work and no its not a deal breaker!0 -
Think about it CAREFULLY. Do NOT put yourself in a position where you lose out in terms of income or career prospects. Do NOT permit yourself to become financially dependent on him in any way (< this can happen so easily in this economy & especially if you have visa restrictions!!)
In those situations, especially if you have limited social support, it's much harder to leave if things go bad. And you stay longer than you think you will (because you've given all kinds of things up! You must love him! And you've invested 1 or 3 or 5 years already!). As above, marriage will be a forced question, not a natural progression. Everything is shaped by paperwork. If it doesn't work out, you'll have lost all kinds of opportunities in your prime earning and reproductive years. And have to start again, maybe back home, and you'll be older.
This kind of risk can be very expensive for the woman.0 -
Have any one of you done it?
Would any of you consider it?
Is long Distance a deal breaker?
Yep, moved to France.
Yep, would do it, life is about making win win compromises.
No.
Edit: you have not met him yet? Umm, ok. :noway:0 -
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When you meet "the one" you'll do whatever it takes to give it a chance. For love, anything is worth a chance.
This thread should be called "The Notebook"
QFT0 -
I've done it. Would approach with caution.0
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When I was living in Japan I moved a few stops down the train line to live with my fiancé, changing employee in the process. We also had to marry to be together, or we might have dated far longer.
Long distance with my HS boyfriend didn't work out at uni. He cheated on me and I threatened to kill myself, so he pretended he hadn't, so we stayed together until I met someone I didn't want to have to turn down. But that was uni, a time and place seething with sexual opportunities, so I imagine the risks are less in the 'real' world.0 -
For you I would move mountains!0
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For you I would move mountains!
I agree!!
Just do what ever will make u happy !! if the guy deserve it! then u should never regret 0 -
Have any one of you done it?
Would any of you consider it?
Is long Distance a deal breaker?
yes. i've done it, once. horrible experience. like, really bad.
would not consider doing it again. Nope.
Long distance isn't an immediate deal breaker, no. i guess it all depends on the individual details, and on the people involved. and the amount of miles separating the two people. for me personally, i'm very hesitant to get involved in an LDR - but most likely that's due to my previous personal experiences.0 -
Have any one of you done it? Yes. About 9 years ago I moved from small town Illinois to do a study abroad program in Swansea, Wales in the UK. While I was there, the university planned a weekend away in Amsterdam. I ended up needing a light for my cigarette and met my (now) husband, on Valentines day evening actually. I went back to Swansea the next day but we exchanged emails and phone numbers. When I got back to my flat I had an email waiting for me from him. Within two weeks we had fallen in love. We kept in touch daily and he flew me back to Amsterdam that April during Spring break and he asked me to marry him on April 15th, so two months from the day we met. When my semester was over, instead of moving back to the US I moved my stuff to Amsterdam and have been here ever since. We got married that same November back in 2004 and now have a 4.5 year old daughter, an 8 year old Welsh Corgi and a very happy life together. It wasn't easy and my first two years in the netherlands were extremely difficult but now I find it hard to ever see myself living in the U.S. again.
Is long Distance a deal breaker? Shouldn't be.
edit: I wanted to say I was 27 at the time I did my study abroad program, so not an 18 year old who hadn't had very many life/work experiences yet. My brother and Dad were still very against my moving to the NL, but my Mom and sisters all felt it was very romantic. I just knew that in my heart it felt unexplainably right. When I was with him I felt so relaxed. It was uncomplicated and just fit. I had a job back "home" waiting for me, and an apartment, the works, so it totally wasn't something I had planned on but when it is right, it's right.0 -
My theory is that who knows where my Mr Right lives....there is no guarantee that he lives in my home town so I have to be open to the possibility to a long distance relationship. But I would not consider moving unless he would also consider it..and we both looked into pro's and cons. I also doubt I would move for JUST a man...because if it didn't work out I'd need to have a job and a life to fall back on when I was there.
Who ever it is better be pretty special because my friends and family are here..and I have a solid stable career...who wants to start over for jo shmo.0 -
I didn't relocate for him, but he was a bonus. I was already planning to move anyway and I think that's why I was open to developing a relationship with him.
We did the whole LDR for 6 months but I visited as part of job searching every 6 weeks or so. Those were LOOOONG 6 weeks. I can't imagine doing a LDR for months at a time without seeing each other.0 -
I met my SO online. We talked online for months via internet and phone. Then we decided to meet up halfway between where we lived. Turned out great. We continued to do that for a few months and then in January 2001, we both relocated and moved in together. Just celebrated our 12th anniversary and would be married if the USA would legalize same-sex marriage!0
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I have thought of meeting in person, obviously..Im not that nieve, but if he's great on Skype he must be great in person, right?. He treats me like a lady and has respect for me. No, we havent sat in a movie together and shared a bucket of popcorn or slept in the same bed, but Im sure he'd buy me candy from the vendor and fluff my pillow. lol
I brought this to the attention of MFP because I was curious your experiences, strength and hope on the subject. Obviously I wouldn't move if I didn't have employment lined up, and a pad to rest my head. I also have several close buds that live in the same area, I heart my Canadian friends. Im sure they'd be there for me as well.
Thanks all for your opinions..0 -
Met online - Dated long distance - I lived in the United States, he lives in Canada. Moved to Canada from the United States 7 years ago and have no regrets.
wait..you moved from the States to Canada and you don't regret it?
No...I don't regret it. I am better off financially. Have a much better paying job doing the same thing I was doing in the states. And I have free health care. The free health care system may not be perfect but I don't have to claim bankruptcy when I get sick!!!!! And on top of all that I actually met the man of my dreams that I live with here. So no, nooooo regrets. Now I can actually afford to shop in the states when I couldn't when I actually lived there ;o)0 -
My husband moved to be with me because I was offered a better job. We lived where we had moved 5 years and then I asked him to move again and he did. He sometimes thinks about "what-ifs" however now that we are a family he has benefited big time from the increases to my career. I am a lucky lady.0
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I want to board the "Lucky Lady" train. I want to think anything is possible. I want my dreams to become reality. I cant stand pessimistic ppl. I believe in following my heart, after all this bow and arrow Im playing with is in need of retirement.0
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When my boyfriend and I started dating over a year ago, we lived 1 hour apart from each other. In November of last year, I moved in with him. It's a big commitment to relocate for love. You have to be absolutely sure that the person you're moving for is 'the one' for you. I realized my boyfriend is 'the one' last fall. He and I have gotten along great the past 5+ months we've lived together.
Like I said before. You have to be 100% sure of the person you're wanting to move in with. If you have any kind of doubt about it, you aren't ready.
In my eyes, living with someone you're dating is one step below marriage. Living together is a big commitment.
Good luck! :-)0 -
I moved from England to California to marry my husband, we lived there for 4 years and then he came back to England with me we have been here for 10 years now. Long distance and across the ocoean moving worked for us.
I was 38 with 3 kids, he was 40 with 1 son, we now have 3 sons together!0 -
I've relocated for my husband when he was in the Navy. I knew before we got married I would have to move a few times and didn't mind one bit. I love moving and exploring a new town/state etc. For me its an exciting adventure.0
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