How young is too young?

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  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    Wow still alive ? I thought historically is was not uncommon for and older gentleman to marry a much younger "girl", and marriages were arranged. The notion being the older man was established and could provide for the younger wife. At some point this notion seems to have morphed and villified older men. The villification being that all a guy can see in a younger women is sex. Seems to me a realtionship is more than sex so why do folks here reduce these things to the evil creepy guy to the innocent immature gal. Certainly there is need for caution but why do we always seem to see the dark side all the time ?

    that was common at a time when the young girl in question had little choice, no rights & no access to money of her own. Thankfully this is no longer the case so that is why you fnid that most children aren't forced to make these kinds of choices anymore & why most women are thankful for it.

    The thought of a young girl marrying an older "gentleman" in an arranged marriage is just depressing. Why anyone would romanticise that era is beyond me.

    Thankyou - and I agree with both of you. but that's not the point. The point being that older men have become villified if they seek younger women. That all they want is sex and have nothing else to offer. On the other hand older women seeking younger men seems ok. A double standard ?

    It's not the same at all, the new thing of older women/younger men is NOT the way it used to be for older men/MUCH younger GIRLS.
  • foxro
    foxro Posts: 793 Member
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    Wow still alive ? I thought historically is was not uncommon for and older gentleman to marry a much younger "girl", and marriages were arranged. The notion being the older man was established and could provide for the younger wife. At some point this notion seems to have morphed and villified older men. The villification being that all a guy can see in a younger women is sex. Seems to me a realtionship is more than sex so why do folks here reduce these things to the evil creepy guy to the innocent immature gal. Certainly there is need for caution but why do we always seem to see the dark side all the time ?

    that was common at a time when the young girl in question had little choice, no rights & no access to money of her own. Thankfully this is no longer the case so that is why you fnid that most children aren't forced to make these kinds of choices anymore & why most women are thankful for it.

    The thought of a young girl marrying an older "gentleman" in an arranged marriage is just depressing. Why anyone would romanticise that era is beyond me.

    Thankyou - and I agree with both of you. but that's not the point. The point being that older men have become villified if they seek younger women. That all they want is sex and have nothing else to offer. On the other hand older women seeking younger men seems ok. A double standard ?

    It's not the same at all, the new thing of older women/younger men is NOT the way it used to be for older men/MUCH younger GIRLS.

    Yes I agree it isn't the same - point being men have become villified as wanting nothing but sex from younger women- anyways thanks OP for the chance to provide comments to this interesting topic - Take care everyone !!!
  • daphne_m
    daphne_m Posts: 84
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    Wow still alive ? I thought historically is was not uncommon for and older gentleman to marry a much younger "girl", and marriages were arranged. The notion being the older man was established and could provide for the younger wife. At some point this notion seems to have morphed and villified older men. The villification being that all a guy can see in a younger women is sex. Seems to me a realtionship is more than sex so why do folks here reduce these things to the evil creepy guy to the innocent immature gal. Certainly there is need for caution but why do we always seem to see the dark side all the time ?

    that was common at a time when the young girl in question had little choice, no rights & no access to money of her own. Thankfully this is no longer the case so that is why you fnid that most children aren't forced to make these kinds of choices anymore & why most women are thankful for it.

    The thought of a young girl marrying an older "gentleman" in an arranged marriage is just depressing. Why anyone would romanticise that era is beyond me.

    Thankyou - and I agree with both of you. but that's not the point. The point being that older men have become villified if they seek younger women. That all they want is sex and have nothing else to offer. On the other hand older women seeking younger men seems ok. A double standard ?

    Older women seeking out younger men are treated as sex crazed objects of derision. That's on a good day. As it is, it's perfectly acceptable for men to seek out younger women, just not young girls who should be focused on school, uni, fighting with their parents and tweeting their undying love to Justin Bieber. No one batted an eyelid at the huge power imbalance between my ex and I. If the situation were reversed and I had had the high paying job, the success, and an eye for young men still in uni people would have talked. No, mostly they'd have laughed.

    To be perfectly honest, had I been the weight I am now and not in posession of the features that god (and my surgeon) gave me, my ex wouldn't have been so interested. Was he just in it for sex? No, but he liked the attention that came from dating a younger, attractive woman. I don't think that what he did was in any way wrong, but neither of us would for a second have pretended he was with me solely because of my winning personality.
  • murphinchina
    murphinchina Posts: 72
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    The idea, in the past, and still valid today in developing countries (such as China and India) is that an older man equates to stability. They are established in their careers, usually have some money, are more devoted to family (past the wilder stages) etc. etc. This is still a cultural meme today in many countries. The idea of marrying for love is considered a quaint story/fairy tale dream or only for those privileged few. It seems obvious to me that "old enough to bleed, old enough to breed" was said merely to stoke some fires, kind of like "if there's grass on the field, go ahead and play ball" or "8-80, crippled, blind or crazy..." lots of those expressions out there.

    I don't know about the rest of you but I was sexually active in high school, not proud of it and not ashamed of it... just the way it was in the 1980's. Condemning sex at those ages is about the same as commanding the tides not to rise or fall. Getting your panties in a wad because other cultures don't behave the way you think they should is pretty darned arrogant. But the most ironic thing about it is... they don't give a rat's @$$ what people from other cultures think.
  • quixoteQ
    quixoteQ Posts: 484
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    The only questions:

    1. Is it ever possible--regardless of age--to give consent if the power dynamic is skewed drastically against you;
    2. Is there a moral responsibility to protect someone against whom the power dynamic is drastically skewed; and
    3. Does allowing drastically skewed power dynamics to persist hurt society?
  • ♥ChUbByCoyLe♥
    ♥ChUbByCoyLe♥ Posts: 267 Member
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    17 is a child. I'd suggest waiting until she's no longer a teenager.

    I'm not against age gaps...there's 10 years between my husband and I but we're adults when we met.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    If it feels right, do it!

    I am kinda seeing this younger guy.... He's 17 and lives across the street from me.

    Binoculars were kinda expensive, but anything for love, right?
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    If it feels right, do it!

    I am kinda seeing this younger guy.... He's 17 and lives across the street from me.

    Binoculars were kinda expensive, but anything for love, right?
    17 year old?
    You're doing it wrong. Walk around the house in underwear and leave the blinds open. Attracts 17 year olds like a magnet.
    If that doesn't work: make a milkshake.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
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    Dont-Feed-The-Trolls.jpg
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    If it feels right, do it!

    I am kinda seeing this younger guy.... He's 17 and lives across the street from me.

    Binoculars were kinda expensive, but anything for love, right?
    17 year old?
    You're doing it wrong. Walk around the house in underwear and leave the blinds open. Attracts 17 year olds like a magnet.
    If that doesn't work: make a milkshake.

    go out and wash your car in daisy dukes and tied up t-shirt. You could have saved a lot of money on those binoculars :laugh:
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
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    17?

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  • Sorashi
    Sorashi Posts: 41
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    I'd love to know what daddy's little girl has to say about this.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    Under 35.
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
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    You could just date each other through the internet until she turns 18. Skype while watching the same movie on netflix, you know.
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
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    If it feels good (and it's legal).. JUST DO IT!
  • rickyll
    rickyll Posts: 188 Member
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    HEAR YE, HEAR YE! A MATHEMATICAL SOLUTION TO THIS AGE-OLD QUESTION!!

    Half your age plus 7 is the youngest you can go:)

    Go get em, tiguurrrrr!

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