My Fiance doesn't "Fancy" me anymore!? :-(

This man is a bully and clearly doesn't have any respect for you.
I was in a situation much like yours , took me ages to realise it was never going to work so spent years being unhappy and battling with my demons. I moved back home found myself again and went on to marry my soulmate.
Why anyone would want to be with someone who makes them feel like that is now beyond me.

You know you have put on weight but please don't try and lose it to please him , do it for yourself.

Classic control freak. It's an expectation, when we say "for better or worse" that yes, sometimes we gain a bit of weight in our lives. He might do the same at some point. And a UK size 12 is about an 8-10 in the US... not fat at all!

I believe there are other issues with this guy. Does he have other "expectations" of you? A friend of mine is married to a guy like this, and she has to. Vacuume every day, has to stay below a. Size 6, and has to stay within a strict budget, even though they have plenty of money. Any therapist would say the guy is controlling and that's a bit on the unhealthy side.

If it was me, I'd much rather be with someone who treated me nicely, even if I'd had a bad few months at work. You're extremely beautiful and you could have your pick of any man. This guy is a waste of your time.

Life is all about change. Change happens. Some for the better...and some not.

But you have to decide what's best for you. The truth hurts because of the way it's presented.

Only you know what you have to do. You know how you feel internally about it.

Dig deep and find the answer. This isn't so much about him. But about you.

No matter what you have to live with you, even with him there or not.

Always be true to yourself. You are all you have when it comes to life. Everybody else is filler.

[Speaking from personal experience.]

Well, simply put...I fancy you! you look great.

Well, good thing you found out he was a jerk before you tied the knot!

It might not be the popular thing to say but I kind of see his point, 20lb (almost a stone and a half) is a substantial gain. I would appreciate my SO's honesty if I had gained weight and he was finding himself less attracted to me. At least he's giving you a chance to know how he feels at this stage and he's not out looking for a woman he finds more attractive!
Part of being in a couple is caring enough about your SO to maintain a level of attractiveness because you should care whether he fancies you or not. It's not just for yourself.
Personally I would still find my SO attractive if he gained weight, but within reason of course, I'd still love him naturally and your fiance didn't say he doesn't 'love' you anymore, just physically you've let it go....but you already know that.
Use it as fuel, you're not happy with your weight gain either, just put down the kebab and sort it out.

Ask yourself one question, do you still fancy him when he makes you feel so good about yourself? You are size 12, that is nothing to feel bad about. As long as you are healthy and feel comfortable with yourself, you obviously have other things taking your attention like earning a living which you should be proud of yourself for and so should your fiance. I think his comments are more likely to make your self esteem drop and then you will loose your sense of self worth. Look at the bigger picture, do you really make each other happy, are you happy as you are and for you want to be a size 8-10 for yourself or someone else? Good luck whatever happens but you look fine to me

Sounds like you guys need some counseling. But I think that while it may have been hard to hear that he doesn't fancy you anymore (whatever that means) that it could just be his way of trying to honestly tell you his feelings and communicate his concerns to you. Which is actually a very good quality in a mate. A lot of guys would just keep their feelings bottled up and fester in silence.

Just break up.

And I say that in all seriousness.

I was married to a guy like that. It never changes, it never gets better. It will drain every ounce of YOU away.

You're lucky you found out BEFORE you married him.

The guy I'm seeing right now has made it clear with words AND actions that he finds me beautiful, sexy and desireable regardless of whether I stay my current size, gain or lose (LOSE is all I'm planning on, but I love his support).

Looks come and go. Weight comes and goes. The person you marry should be marrying you regardless of your outward appearance. What if you *God forbid* had a tragic, disfiguring accident? Would he leave you?

Your journey to health and fitness needs to be for YOU only.

I can sympathise with you entirely. From my point of view he met you when you were this size right it's just in the time you've been together you've lost and regained that weight. Why did you lose the weight in the first place? Was it under his influence or of your of volition?

I'm a comfort eater to and having a rough time in any part of my life certainly affects my eating. If you're having a difficult time maybe try doing different things in the evening together, if he wants to exercise try something other than running. How about a netball club or hockey, even swimming? Maybe socialising/exercising with people other than your fiancé will cheer you up after a rubbish day at work.

Ultimately if you aren't happy with the way you are he should be more supportive, if you know it's just a phase and once work improves you feel you can get in under control then he should still support you. Tell him how you feel in a calm way, be honest and open, say how hurt you are and tell him exactly what you want from him in terms of support, that would be my first step. Do you want him to cook more? I'm sick of weighing and entering everything on here so getting my OH to do it more often really helps. Do you want to run with him? Do you want to do different things as a couple? Do you want to talk about it with him or don't you want him to bring it up?

Secondly if your job situation is having such a large impact on your life start looking for new work, easier said than done atm I know!! Thirdly decide if this is just a blip in you're relationship or a more serious underlying problem. Are you arguing because you're both having difficult times individually? Look at your personal unhappiness and your unhappiness in the relationship differently, is one affecting the other? I know my fiancé has and would never say anything like that to me, I have gained stones since we got together and he is being really supportive with my lifestyle changes, and I am slowly losing weight. He has never once mentioned my weight not even when I when we got together and I was slim. That's something I don't think I could accept and it has clearly upset you, can you forgive him and move on?

Best of luck and try talking to him, posting on here will not solve anything in the long run, though it provides a good ground for peoples opinion.