How many dates should a guy pay for?

NormInv
NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
in Chit-Chat
I usually pay for dates until we are officially dating. But I have friends who split down the middle from the first date. Then I met women who wanted to pay half from get-go cuz they thought otherwise they'd owe me something. How about you?
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Replies

  • Mavrick7a
    Mavrick7a Posts: 1,353
    Didn't you post this question before?
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    I did? Dont recall.
  • usernameMAMA
    usernameMAMA Posts: 681 Member
    lol, okaaay. OP I think you have a stalker:) jk. I've always thought that whoever is the asker should pay for the date. If there are any subsequent dates then you should each switch off. You pay-I pay-You pay-I pay....
  • Einahhh
    Einahhh Posts: 139
    A guy shouldn't feel obligated to pay for any dates (unless maybe he's the instigator of the first date). Of course, offering is polite, but he shouldn't feel like there's a certain quota he needs to fill before they split the bill.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Whoever invites pays? all depends on the gal.
  • TheWinman
    TheWinman Posts: 684 Member
    Guy should always pay for the first date. Imo
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
    i love these types of discussions.
  • Shalini_15
    Shalini_15 Posts: 160 Member
    Guy should pay fr the initial few dates (4-5) n then may be split or let the girl pay.. Lets nt forget bout chivalry :)
  • SMarie10
    SMarie10 Posts: 956 Member
    I always expect the guy to pay if he does the asking. If I offer to pay, or make the date then I would expect to pay. I think it also depends on who can afford to pay. If your date is not as financially well off as you, then it would seem appropriate that you split the tab, or let the person more financially stable do the paying.

    Curious - OP do you not like paying on a date?
  • MrGonzo05
    MrGonzo05 Posts: 1,120 Member
    The first 500 or so.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    I always expect the guy to pay if he does the asking. If I offer to pay, or make the date then I would expect to pay. I think it also depends on who can afford to pay. If your date is not as financially well off as you, then it would seem appropriate that you split the tab, or let the person more financially stable do the paying.

    Curious - OP do you not like paying on a date?

    I do. I insist even if they offer.
  • Doodlewhopper
    Doodlewhopper Posts: 1,018 Member
    It depends on whether she is wearing a bra.
  • IslandDreamer64
    IslandDreamer64 Posts: 258 Member
    All of them. DH and I have been together for 10 years and I have never once had to pay.
  • Ascolti_la_musica
    Ascolti_la_musica Posts: 676 Member
    Gender does not apply. If you ask a person out, bring your wallet. If a person asks you out, offer to pay your share. If you find yourself keeping score, you're probably not enjoying the person's company enough to continue.

    It should work for couples much the same as it does among friends.
  • dianeb613
    dianeb613 Posts: 121 Member
    LOL I am an old fashioned old lady so I say PAY FOR THEM ALL.
  • Trueray
    Trueray Posts: 1,189 Member
    After a few dates then she should at least offer to pay. If she does not then kick her to the curb.
  • MRATL70
    MRATL70 Posts: 23 Member
    All of them.
  • AngelicxAnnihilation
    AngelicxAnnihilation Posts: 336 Member
    The person who offers pays. Maybe if you get into a Friday night date night thing then you can alternate weeks. Or just have her come over and watch a movie (it's cheaper). :)
  • twinkiemon
    twinkiemon Posts: 216 Member
    Whoever does the asking should pay for the first date (the guy if he asks her, the girl if she asks him). After the first date it's whatever's best for the couple. With one of my BF's we always liked to go to the movies and whoever picked the movie paid - we alternated turns picking a movie. With another, if we went to the movies, he usually got the tickets, I got the snacks and if we went out after we split it down the middle (unless it wasn't a fair split like if he ordered a three course dinner with 2 beers and I had an appetizer with water - then he was nice and paid his share).
  • pwittek10
    pwittek10 Posts: 723 Member
    I agree, whoever does the asking should pay.
  • SweetestLibby
    SweetestLibby Posts: 607 Member
    For the most part whoever asks pays. However on the first date with my boy I bought our museum tickets and he bought dinner and drinks after. He paid for the next several dates. Now when we go on dates and have lunch he pays but I buy frozenyo for us after. I am a little more attentive to finding fun date ideas so I'll often buy something on living social or groupon and then he'll pay for lunch/dinner.
  • Teysa
    Teysa Posts: 26
    If it is a first date I pay for my stuff. If all goes well and we go on a second date I pay and then say "you'll pay on next one."

    It changes a bit if we are officially BF and GF though, I will pay for the movie and dinner afterwards but you'll pay next time we go out. But now that I think about it I usually spent more on dates than my partner... I guess I'm too good and play the "guy" part
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
    Who cares? It's going to be different depending on the date and the situation. If anyone feels obligated to pay, that's just...weird, IMHO.

    My husband paid for our first date, which was really sweet and thoughtful...but nobody should go into a date without money (barring real money issues, but that's beside the point) because it's pretty damn pretentious to think that the other person should have to pay for you.

    Hell, even being married, it just depends on who has the most money in the wallet at the particular time as to who pays. I wouldn't allow him to go broke on me before we got married, but it was a nice gesture when he could and did pay.

    But every situation and every person is going to be different. Communication is this really awesome thing that human beings do. You should not be afraid to ask your date what they prefer instead of a forum full of people you will never be in the same room with.
  • mikey1976
    mikey1976 Posts: 1,005 Member
    i would pay for all gentalman thing to do
  • Sunny_fit4life
    Sunny_fit4life Posts: 157 Member
    Whether you alternate who is paying or split the bill, I feel it should be equal. As a woman, it's not because I'd feel "like I owed" him something if a guy always paid. It's just that if I want to be treated like an equal in a relationship & in society I should probably act like it and put my money where my mouth is. No double standards here... forget the gentlemanly thing to do, saying a guy should always pay conveys inequality to me.

    Not that I never let a guy pay for a date if he asked me ;)
    But I didn't let one pay for every single one.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    I thought it was equal rights? If so shouldnt the women pay now?
  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
    I've never thought about it but for sure the first one, regardless of who asked who.
  • JayGetsFit
    JayGetsFit Posts: 34 Member
    I've always thought it was polite for the man to pick up the tab on the first date.But that's just me. After that I think its reasonable to split bills etc. until things become serious.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    I was joking in my previous post. Really I havent dated so....I would think it would need to be discussed prior to the date.
  • moriaht
    moriaht Posts: 251 Member
    First one, I prefer a guy to pay for. After that, they should always offer, but I like 50/50, just so there's no expectations...

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