My husband won't diet with me

Sorry I didnt get passed "Wifely Submission"................

^This...

First, an easy solution is start cooking a lesser quantity so there's not so much for him to pile on. Second, if you don't buy it - you or your husband won't eat it...leave the ice cream, hot fudge, and cool whip at the store!

Invite him and the kids to go for a walk with you...if he says no, take the kids and go any way. Show him through example...my bet is eventually he'll come around. If not..it may be intervention time.

Wifely submission???

Makes me glad to be single....

and athiest.

That sounds like a really whiny topic title, doesn't it?
Let me explain, I don't want to force my husband to diet with me. I believe in wifely submission, it's not my job to tell him what to do, or make him feel guilty. But it seems like since I've been eating less he's started eating more. He's gotten in the habit of just eating whatever's left after I dish out mine and the kid's plates. But with me eating less there's more left, but he still just piles it all on to his plate. The other night I had a scoop of ice cream and I asked him what he wanted and he say asked for 2 scoops with cool whip and hot fudge, he would normally just have the 2 scoops. It's like he's going out of his way to fatten himself up. He already weighs 370 and I'm pretty worried about his health. How do I get him to see how bad his choices are without nagging?

When it comes to him eating what's left over, can't you simply just cook less food? When it comes to him eating hot fudge and what not, its going to happen. Try to stock the house with healthier snacks, don't buy as much junk. I understand you're worried about his weight, however he's going to have to come around in his own time. I lost 15 lbs and my husband is now just getting on bored thinking 'hey maybe I should go to the gym too.' It stinks in the meantime, but eventually he'll come around.

Ayup. The only place "wifely submission" has in any marriage is in the bedroom, accompanied by handcuffs and a safety word.

But I suspect that that is not the meaning that the OP had. Sorry, but any marriage not based on equality and respect is not a healthy one. Marital submission, in the religious sense, IMO, is about control and power, and in too many cases, abuse.

Nope. It is about loving your husband and showing respect. the flip side is what no one ever remembers. the husband's duty is to love your wife as Christ loves the church. If both husband and wife are using the biblical criteria, the marriage will be one of love, respect, best friends, putting one another's needs before your own.

Trust me, it does work. I have been married for 23 years. The first years were not great. My salvation and my CORRECT understanding of the biblical precept of marriage saved my marriage. I am married to my best friend. We discuss EVERYTHING. If we cannot come to an agreement, we set it aside and pray about it. if we still do not come to an agreement and a decision MUST be made, his decision stands. But it has come with much prayerful consideration on both our parts. I can count on maybe 1 hand the number of times we have not reached an agreement or at least a compromise.

That's a tough choice as each flavor of "wifely submission" has its pros and cons. But given the wealth of feedback put before us, who knows maybe you (and your husband, diet-wise) really can have your cake and eat it too.

I believe in wifely submission

Mine won't either. Make smaller pots that way there's less for him to graze on. You run your household, right?
Totally with the wifely submission. It works for us too until he ticks me off. Hahaha

1. Biscuits, mac and cheese, and ice cream should not be a staple in a healthy household. Sure, he can pick it up somewhere else if he wants to and you'd rather have the homemade kind. But then you and your kids are eating it too just to keep him from picking up fast food? Makes no sense. And, honestly, is he really going to come home, identify that he's not happy with what you're making, get in the car, and leave again? Is he going to go out to buy ice cream every night because you don't have it in the house? Because you didn't have hot fudge in the house? (I don't even know what it would be like to live in a house where there was always hot fudge. This sounds to me like a myth along the lines of Candyland). The logic of saying "well, if I don't make it he'll go out and eat it, so now it's homemade!" just makes no sense to me. If it's unhealthy crap when it's homemade, how is that really better? He's still eating unhealthy crap, only now you're making it the only option he has AND you're enabling his bad habits. At least if you offer him something healthy, he has it as an option. Nobody actually NEEDS to keep these things in the house..

2. Make less food. If he eats big portions, make smaller ones. If he asks for extra ice cream, buy portion-control options like ice cream sandwiches or ice cream pops instead. Or, you know, not at all.

3. Wifely submission aside, it's not the woman's job to tiptoe around her husband's feelings and serve his every whim. If he wants whipped cream on his ice cream and you don't think he should have it, let him damn well get up and get it himself. You don't have to stop him eating it, but you don't have to feed it to him either. You can't force him to diet, but you can stop enabling his bad habits. It's the same as buying an alcoholic a six-pack and making sure they're cold for him. You may not be able to stop him from consuming it, but you don't have to serve it to him on a silver platter either. It may not stop him from eating it, but at least he has to get up off his butt to get it, and that might make him think twice about what he's doing (and maybe burn a few calories hauling himself off the couch).

Ultimately, he has to make the decision himself, but that doesn't mean you have to make it easy for him to avoid the decision. Sounds to me like your changes are making him uncomfortable because he's afraid you'll change and his cushy lifestyle will change. Change is hard. Inertia is easy. You're enabling his inertia and giving him no real reason to change.

haha no, it's not a whiny topic title, it's relevant. good on you for taking the initiative towards a healthy lifestyle while he's being a bum about it haha. maybe he's jealous or upset that you're dieting? i would find out what is making him act that way and just say, in an upfront way, "i don't want to die an early death because i'm unhealthy. does my dieting bother you because you seem to be eating more than usual??" it is common for myself to say something like this because i'm blunt but it'll cut out nagging. if he doesn't wish to join you on your journey to health he has every right not to! let him know that you still care about him regardless of change but... let it be known that he is inadvertently being a tad selfish... to change eating habits when you're trying hard to be healthier. haha it's not a big issue but it may hinder your progress. good luck.

haha no, it's not a whiny topic title, it's relevant. good on you for taking the initiative towards a healthy lifestyle while he's being a bum about it haha. maybe he's jealous or upset that you're dieting? i would find out what is making him act that way and just say, in an upfront way, "i don't want to die an early death because i'm unhealthy. does my dieting bother you because you seem to be eating more than usual??" it is common for myself to say something like this because i'm blunt but it'll cut out nagging. if he doesn't wish to join you on your journey to health he has every right not to! let him know that you still care about him regardless of change but... let it be known that he is inadvertently being a tad selfish... to change eating habits when you're trying hard to be healthier. haha it's not a big issue but it may hinder your progress. good luck.

Agreed. It's something he needs to understand that is good for the BOTH of you and should be doing it together. Talk to him. Find out why he is acting so selfish. Make it a family affair tell the kids to help dad get better, something.. I also believe you should cook only what you need, and have better snack food in the house. If he still doesn't want to join you on a better quest to a new you and better life, leave him alone, and then when you get all good looking and stuff that will open his eyes..