This may sound evil, but....keeping it real.

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  • Z_I_L_L_A
    Z_I_L_L_A Posts: 2,399 Member
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    It's better to go into it fit, than not. You'll rebound a lot quicker :)

    Wow at your pic and so true about going into it fit.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    It's not your place to judge someone for having a thought that every woman has at some point. Parenthood is a much bigger sacrifice for a woman to make than the man, and she is pondering the intricacies of that sacrifice. I actually applaud her for taking the time to consider these things before starting a family. A lot of people do not "plan" families anymore. If her motivation is vanity, that isn't any reflection at all on the type of parent she could be.

    So she can make a comment, but I can't comment on that comment? Got it, thanks. And I'm not the only one judging, SHE is too. Hence the "evil, but....keeping it real" that she typed herself in the title.

    I've got two kids, and not only have I sacrificed plenty, I'm willing to sacrifice it all, so that part can go KMA, for reals.
  • kaycevaughan
    kaycevaughan Posts: 91 Member
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    It is definitely worth every single pound ;) I gained 60 with my baby girl (10 was water weight) but I wouldn't change it for the world! She's more important than the extra 50 pounds I gained. So the hard work to lose it again is worth it. And she loves for me to push her in her stroller while I walk! I regret not keeping fit while I was pregnant. I wasn't completely fit when Igot pregnant but was at 117. It makes it easier on you and the baby when.you work out while you're pregnant. As long as there are no complications and the doctor Oks it you stay fit and be pregnant
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    It's not your place to judge someone for having a thought that every woman has at some point. Parenthood is a much bigger sacrifice for a woman to make than the man, and she is pondering the intricacies of that sacrifice. I actually applaud her for taking the time to consider these things before starting a family. A lot of people do not "plan" families anymore. If her motivation is vanity, that isn't any reflection at all on the type of parent she could be.

    So she can make a comment, but I can't comment on that comment? Got it, thanks. And I'm not the only one judging, SHE is too. Hence the "evil, but....keeping it real" that she typed herself in the title.

    I've got two kids, and not only have I sacrificed plenty, I'm willing to sacrifice it all, so that part can go KMA, for reals.

    I developed 2 health conditions having my kids. How exactly has your health been affected by bringing children into this world?

    But it's great that you would be willing to sacrifice anything for your children. The world needs more dads like you. But nature doesn't demand as much from the dads as it does the moms where childbirth is concerned, and that's a fact!

    My point was that it is NOT evil to not want to get pregnant just to preserve your body. Get over yourself. You are entitled to your opinion, but entitlement alone doesn't make your opinion right!
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    Big pregnancies and kids. I gained 60+ pounds eating foolishly with the first and it took years to lose. I gained 16 pounds eating sensibly with the second and walked out of the hospital weighing less than when I got pregnant.

    As for your concerns about wrecking your body, if you've ever been on one of those pregnancy sites, about 80 percent of the posts are about these fears (stretch marks, gaining weight, loose skin, etc., etc.,) You aren't alone in having the thoughts.

    With you, the biggest concern is your medical condition. Think long and hard about it and make sure your doctor is on board. My doctors said "NO WAY" when I mentioned having another child.
  • mkwongh
    mkwongh Posts: 279 Member
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    Agree!! :) lol
    Get a dog or cat instead.
  • TigressPat
    TigressPat Posts: 722
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    I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.

    there is no reason you HAVE to breed!
    you can always adopt if you really want a child!
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    I cannot believe that this thread is still going. And I especially can't believe the amount of venom that is being thrown at the OP. There is not a woman in this thread who can honestly say that this thought never crossed their minds before having children. If the OP wants to be a mother without sacrificing her body, its entirely possible, and I'm really shocked that more people haven't advocated for adoption here. There are children growing up in the system that will never know the love of a mother. Instead of condemning someone for not wanting to go through the difficult process of childbirth for whatever reason, why not offer something more constructive and providing her information on other options.

    There are 7 billion people on this planet already and around 200 million children without parents.

    There is some venom here, I will give you that... but I think that to say she is not ready is not an insult - because she clearly isn't.
    I've had two kids... and I love them to bits. But at this stage in my life, I don't want to have another pregnant body to deal with. I don't want the water retention, bloaty, cranky, I can't tie my own shoes anymore feeling. I don't want to lose my six pack. And to me, even though I am a great mom, it says that I should NOT have another child.

    When I got pregnant with my first baby, I was in pretty darn good shape... and the thought of losing that shape didn't bother me in the least, because I was ready to get pregnant and start a family.

    All I meant to say in my comments, and I think that it's a common sentiment, is that with all the kids out there that are not wanted... she needs to get to a place where she really wants it.

    Furthermore, now that I know she has a brain condition, I would offer even MORE caution against having a baby - as she would be putting her own life (and the life of her baby / future child) at risk.

    Again, nothing but love here.
    :flowerforyou:
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I cannot believe that this thread is still going. And I especially can't believe the amount of venom that is being thrown at the OP. There is not a woman in this thread who can honestly say that this thought never crossed their minds before having children. If the OP wants to be a mother without sacrificing her body, its entirely possible, and I'm really shocked that more people haven't advocated for adoption here. There are children growing up in the system that will never know the love of a mother. Instead of condemning someone for not wanting to go through the difficult process of childbirth for whatever reason, why not offer something more constructive and providing her information on other options.

    There are 7 billion people on this planet already and around 200 million children without parents.

    There is some venom here, I will give you that... but I think that to say she is not ready is not an insult - because she clearly isn't.
    I've had two kids... and I love them to bits. But at this stage in my life, I don't want to have another pregnant body to deal with. I don't want the water retention, bloaty, cranky, I can't tie my own shoes anymore feeling. I don't want to lose my six pack. And to me, even though I am a great mom, it says that I should NOT have another child.

    When I got pregnant with my first baby, I was in pretty darn good shape... and the thought of losing that shape didn't bother me in the least, because I was ready to get pregnant and start a family.

    All I meant to say in my comments, and I think that it's a common sentiment, is that with all the kids out there that are not wanted... she needs to get to a place where she really wants it.

    Furthermore, now that I know she has a brain condition, I would offer even MORE caution against having a baby - as she would be putting her own life (and the life of her baby / future child) at risk.

    Again, nothing but love here.
    :flowerforyou:

    Well I really didn't see where she was saying that she was ready. I kind of thought she was just trying to decide what she wanted to do about having a family and wanted others opinions on it. My post was really more towards the small group with comments like "do the world a favor and don't have kids."
  • RushBabe214
    RushBabe214 Posts: 469 Member
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    I cannot believe that this thread is still going. And I especially can't believe the amount of venom that is being thrown at the OP. There is not a woman in this thread who can honestly say that this thought never crossed their minds before having children. If the OP wants to be a mother without sacrificing her body, its entirely possible, and I'm really shocked that more people haven't advocated for adoption here. There are children growing up in the system that will never know the love of a mother. Instead of condemning someone for not wanting to go through the difficult process of childbirth for whatever reason, why not offer something more constructive and providing her information on other options.

    There are 7 billion people on this planet already and around 200 million children without parents.

    *raises my hand* Me. I can honestly say that this thought never crossed my mind before having children. Never. Deciding to bring a life into this world amazingly takes the focus off of yourself.
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    But you'll eventually lose it all again! Ive heard breastfeeding makes the weight come off faster. Just saying
  • MeIShouldB
    MeIShouldB Posts: 578 Member
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    They are worth it!! Worth every pound and every stretch mark.

    looking back to some comments, many are just uncalled for and the people making said comments that you shouldn't breed ( I hate that term) get your tubes tied, you should never have kids, blah blah blah, they need a high five to the face with a steel chair.

    That quote above, it's true. I was high risk. a history of miscarriages in the family, my high blood pressure, and just regular stress. I had to stop doing my aerobics, but I could walk. I gained 60 pounds, and had stretch marks for the first time ever. but, I did lose the weight. got down to 215 in about 6 months, but then work clashed with the gym, and here I am again.

    but, I cant imagine life without my buttercup. << see profile pic. if you're truly scared, go on birth control and do some research with doctors about working out. lots of water aerobics may be available.

    Thank you for responding to the post without coming at me with a pitch fork and torch

    You know I wasn't born with hydrocephalus but I did end up with it around 3 months old and ended up having shunts inserted. Do you still have on going complications from it? I had 2 kids and worked the entire time on my feet although I did end up with csections. My pregancies were very low key and uncomplicated. There is hope! :}

    I've had a ton of complications LOL. Been good for a couple years now. Hey Hydro sister.
  • 5n0wbal1
    5n0wbal1 Posts: 429 Member
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    Heck, I'm here losing pregnancy weight after 2 kids, almost back to back (I got pregnant with my second child 2 weeks after my first child's first birthday). I would never ever ever EVER give up my kids for the body I had before. They are worth everything to me, and if I had to choose between having my kids while being 300 lbs and not having my kids while being 120, I'd choose my kids every last time.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
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    14 lbs skinnier than right before I got pregnant. It can be done!
  • 5n0wbal1
    5n0wbal1 Posts: 429 Member
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    But you'll eventually lose it all again! Ive heard breastfeeding makes the weight come off faster. Just saying

    It's actually kinda true. Your babies eats 300 calories of breast milk a day, roughly. I'm nursing, so I've done the research to find out.
  • MeIShouldB
    MeIShouldB Posts: 578 Member
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    I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.

    This is the OP that you wrote. Am I missing the part about you being worried about your medical condition? Because all I'm seeing is *having kids vs having a goal body*. Don't be upset at people for correctly reading your own words.


    I should have to reveal everything about me just for you people to NOT come at me like an angry mob.
    ^^^ This...

    Really, if you had mentioned your brain condition and danger to your life, the responses would have been a hella lot different.

    Instead, all you mentioned is getting in shape, and then gaining it all back because of a baby.... so to get mad at us for NOT responding to something you DIDNT say, seems a tad inappropriate... no?
  • MeIShouldB
    MeIShouldB Posts: 578 Member
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    I cannot believe that this thread is still going. And I especially can't believe the amount of venom that is being thrown at the OP. There is not a woman in this thread who can honestly say that this thought never crossed their minds before having children. If the OP wants to be a mother without sacrificing her body, its entirely possible, and I'm really shocked that more people haven't advocated for adoption here. There are children growing up in the system that will never know the love of a mother. Instead of condemning someone for not wanting to go through the difficult process of childbirth for whatever reason, why not offer something more constructive and providing her information on other options.

    There are 7 billion people on this planet already and around 200 million children without parents.

    There is some venom here, I will give you that... but I think that to say she is not ready is not an insult - because she clearly isn't.
    I've had two kids... and I love them to bits. But at this stage in my life, I don't want to have another pregnant body to deal with. I don't want the water retention, bloaty, cranky, I can't tie my own shoes anymore feeling. I don't want to lose my six pack. And to me, even though I am a great mom, it says that I should NOT have another child.

    When I got pregnant with my first baby, I was in pretty darn good shape... and the thought of losing that shape didn't bother me in the least, because I was ready to get pregnant and start a family.

    All I meant to say in my comments, and I think that it's a common sentiment, is that with all the kids out there that are not wanted... she needs to get to a place where she really wants it.

    Furthermore, now that I know she has a brain condition, I would offer even MORE caution against having a baby - as she would be putting her own life (and the life of her baby / future child) at risk.

    Again, nothing but love here.
    :flowerforyou:

    Well I really didn't see where she was saying that she was ready. I kind of thought she was just trying to decide what she wanted to do about having a family and wanted others opinions on it. My post was really more towards the small group with comments like "do the world a favor and don't have kids."

    EXACTLY never said I was ready. If folks would READ I said "by the time I get married and thinking about having kids".
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
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    To the OP think of it the other way around ...would a child want you as a mother if you are going to be so selfish as to care about yourself before they even come into the world?

    If you are so self consumed about yourself before you even get pregnant with me or give birth to me, then, I would prefer that you either

    1. get that out of your system now
    2. mature a little
    3. do both
    4. enjoy me
    5. get your body back after you have carried me carefully / given birth to me?
    6. I will love you no matter what you look like
    7. be there forever mummy
    8. you can see where this is going can`t you?
  • TheFabTam
    TheFabTam Posts: 88 Member
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    I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.

    Thats a real terrifying thought for me too.
  • LuckyMunky
    LuckyMunky Posts: 200 Member
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    I'm actually in better shape after having kids then I was before any pregnancies. It does change your body shape, but it's 100% worth it. I'm currently trying to lose the weight I gained after having my youngest 2 months ago. My boys keep me on my toes. Before them, it was easy to sit on my butt and play WoW all day. I can't do that anymore, I have to move all the time before the older one finds trouble!

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