The Side of Weight Loss No One Talks About

The glazed look in people's eyes when you start explaining how you've lost weight (sensibly, slowly and with no magic pill or stupid restrictions), after they've raved about how good you look.

Without fail they'll tell me about how their best friend lost huge amounts of weight using the latest fad diet. Like, WTF am I supposed to say to that?

A million times this!

People get surprisingly upset if you tell them you lost weight the normal, healthy way that we've always been told to lose it. And even when you are doing well, people will still try to get you to switch to their gimmick fads anyway because they know it's better than your way.

1. When some parts of your body get so bony / hard you think you've lost too much weight. And other parts are still kind of wobbly. It's weird!

2. All the stares you get on the treadmill and in the weight room, and from random males. This after being single for years with almost ZERO interest no matter how well you dress or makeup you wear.

3. The almost complete lack of shyness and increase in forwardness / confidence once you get fit
It's like somebody switched my brain out. Personality traits that I once thought of as hard wired and genetic are mostly gone.

4. How much I actually enjoy fruit and whole grain now. Dean Ornish's recipes used to repulse me a bit; I'd think "rabbit food" for a lot of healthy stuff but most of it makes my mouth water these days.

5. How little you crave junk food when you avoid the highly refined stuff with high sugar and fat.
Even overdoing it isn't a problem anymore. I "binged" today. Fortunately for me it was on about 250 calories of vitamin rich sweet potatoes. It's going to go straight to my butt. Oh wait, it's not.

6. Inertia. If you exercise every day, it's easy to keep going. If you take one or two days off, it's like turning on a lazy gene - your body gets used to the inactivity and wants to stay that way.

7. Cold intolerance. Not such a problem in the Spring, but I have invested in fuzzy socks and velvet pajamas.

8. Insulin spikes. I'm actually aware when I've had a lot of sugar without fiber or protein to slow down digestion ! How fast the hunger sets in later is a surprise, given the number of calories. Never would have noticed that before!

9. Every day I wake up thin it's as a result of about 1000 choices I made in the 300 days prior. Consistency is boss.

10. There is no end to eating healthy and exercising.
It's steady state maintenance, like doing the dishes or dusting.

11. When you start to get down to lower body fat levels or boost your arm lifts you'l start to see bigger veins in the hands and forearms. These magically appear during activity and vanish the rest of the time.

12. I'm not a thin person. I'm a naturally fat person who eats less and exercises religiously to maintain an artificially low, healthy weight.

13. Nobody will tell you how genetic quirks will affect your weight loss. I always wanted a 26" waist and thought they looked small. i didn't know that to drop to a 26" waist as an apple shape, my weird hips would first drop to around 30." Now to get an hourglass look I need to lose even more. Good news is that my hips can't get much smaller.

14. You'll pick out slim clothes in between sizes only to find out at the slim size that the neck to back measurements or chest placement is totally wrong for someone so thin.

15. A lot of clothes are vanity sized, so there's no telling what you'll wear.

16. Depending on where you store fat, a lot of women's jeans will get baggy in bizarre places.
I had to move down to a junior / girl's plus 14/16 for the best fit since they tend to be small at the hip, large at the waist, and petite.

17. Some clothes will never look good on you, no matter what your weight.

I can relate!!! I lost 23.5 inches in 2 months & went down 2 cup sizes!!! I was happy at first, I no longer feel like a Dolly impersonator & can wear any shirts I want.... but I'm still adjusting & don't want to lose more.

Actually, most of these have already been covered. Just adding my perspective. Some of this I learned during an earlier weight loss success (that didn't take), some of it is from my current weight loss.
- positive attention from people who didn't care before. Made me mad and resentful at one time. Now it just makes me resolve to be kinder to people regardless of their physical appearance.
- smaller feet. You bet. Helluva shock the first time around, tho. I thought they were just making shoes smaller.
- feeling more graceful. Love it.
- LOVING buying smaller clothes. I almost always shop at thrift stores now. I actually learned this after a house fire when I had to replace all my clothes. I bought one really nice, brand-new outfit, and suddenly realized that I DID NOT want a closet full of brand-new clothes. Look for thrift stores close to the better neighborhoods. Amazing what people will give away. I find brand-new with tags clothing all the time. Recently I've hit a run of Coldwater Creek clothing (which I love). Depending on how much you have to lose, you may replace your wardrobe a dozen times; I sure can't afford to do that at retail! Thrift stores make it SO much more affordable, and you're supporting a good cause to boot. Then when you move down to the next size, you take the clothes that don't fit any more, donate them back (in one case here, the store gives a 20% credit toward any purchases you make), and pick out a brand-new (to you) wardrobe. What could be better? My "new" clothing purchases pretty much consist of bras and panties, and the occasional wardrobe staple that I couldn't find at the thrifts.
- and yes, the saggy skin. I will never have a bikini body, either. But then at age 60, I wouldn't be buying one anyway...:bigsmile:

I also have a dear friend who is also a member of MFP along with me. She is smaller than me and has become a regular provider of what we've started calling "hand-me-ups." Amazing! Wish I could do the same for her.

I wasn't completely aware of how hard it was going to be to commit to getting healthy. The meal planning, the workout planning, the workouts, the cooking... It's not JUST about "I'm going to the gym 3 times a week."

Without fail they'll tell me about how their best friend lost huge amounts of weight using the latest fad diet. Like, WTF am I supposed to say to that?

"I'm on the barbell diet. Did you need me to pick up anything heavy for your HCG diet skinny weakling friend? Cause ... can do!" :bigsmile:

The guilt. If I miss one workout, I feel so disappointed in myself and guilty for not doing it. The same goes for one day of eating wrong/emotionally. Which, if you're already an emotional eater, adding guilt to an emotional eating incident just makes it harder to stop. This kind of guilt is toxic - there is nothing you can do about the situation (ie you've already eaten poorly). The best thing to do is accept that it happened and pledge to yourself to try harder to avoid it next time. That being said, it's still really hard not to feel guilty when you totally commit yourself and you step off your path.

Some clothing will never fit quite right, courtesy of cut vs. body type.

You can reach new and exciting parts of your body.

When you do start feeling better about yourself, you don't always think through the consequences of your actions. (I went to a charity kickball game last week in a spaghetti-strap tank and mid-length shorts and oh COFFEE the sunburn...)

Everything wearable will need to be replaced unless it is the OSFA type, and even those start to look strange at some point.

The places that didn't sell sexy lingerie in 42F don't sell it in 36F either.

You start to wonder about fashion.

You can be bony and squashy at the same time.

Become overly neurotic about every single thing that you put into your mouth. Also, as mentioned by many others, there's the fat mentality. No matter how much weight you lose, you still feel and appear fat in your own eyes although everyone else thinks you are insane. A close third is the whole 'Always being cold' thing.

Not mine, but the belief that you can completely change your body shape through weight loss and exercise and that everyone who works hard will end up looking like a fitness model. The idea that your fat distribution pattern and goals have no bearing on how you work out, especially if you are close to your goal.

huh?

I don't care how hard I work out, I will never achieve fitness model status. After having 4 children and spending the past 30+ years overweight, this 61 year old lady will never make it!! And I'm OK with that because I will be able to achieve a healthy lifestyle if I work at it. Many people may be able to end up looking like a fitness model, but they need to have age and good genes on their side. No negative thoughts here, just being realistic.

The misguided belief that my booty butt will transform it's self into a perky gym bunny butt because I'm doing squats, when in fact I had booty before I started losing weight, I have it now, and I will always have a big @ss.

Thanks. That's what I meant. Not that what you're doing isn't great for your body and overall sense of well-being. But exercise does not bring about miracles.

Is this basically like when people say "I'm fat. You're ugly. At least I can diet!"

What point exactly are you trying to make? That people should dwell on their negative qualities and embrace the idea that they will always suck? :ohwell:

That even when people think you should lose weight (even if they don't verbally express it) they will still chide you on to eat more at dinner (trust me, I'm not an empty plater as it is). It makes no sense.

And also, that people can not fathom that you should eat to lose weight. It goes against any belief they have ever had about "diets". Maybe I was one of those people at one point. I'm so glad I'm not that way anymore.

Confessions of the MFP dieters...

I weighed 195 pounds when I started. Now I weigh 179. My pants were uncomfortably tight when I started. Now they fit nicely. My shirts were tight and fit nicely now too. (they were really tight around my chest area) I lost a lot of weight in my chest, neck and legs, and not so much from my waist.
Just because you lose weight doesn't mean you will go down a size jeans. This is killing me mentally, especially when I see my friends dropping pant sizes.
No one said this was going to be easy.

Just read the first 2 pages of this thread. So much negativity I can't bear to read the rest. First-world problems!!

Nothing worth doing is ever easy - be proud of yourselves for making the journey you've made

my biggest issue is dealing with being "Mentally fat", Its so much more than just needing to lose weight but also a personal journey. I started in 2010 and i am still trying to emotionally deal with everything. One day at a time is my motto!

^^^ This!!!! I didn't realize how "skinny" I was before until I gained my weight, but I felt/looked huge from my perspective the whole time I was "skinny." It's all mental...so while the physical journey is difficult and it takes time to lose weight, I know the mental journey will be an ever-present battle that will be with me forever even once I get back in shape.

Life is no better or worse before or after weight loss. The pressures in my life before are still there, and the awesomeness is still there.

My husband still finds me just as attractive as before, I am as effective in my career, my friendships are as rewarding and fulfilling.

I see so many stories in magazines and on TV (think Biggest Loser) where people say losing weight changed their life. I'm 80lbs lighter than I used to be, but life keeps on happening in just the same way.

Clothes shopping is a bit easier now though and I don't feel as guilty sitting on an airplane that I'm taking up too much space for the person next to me. That's about it.