Is it RUDE to offer your "fat clothes" to a friend?

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Replies

  • CaroseH
    CaroseH Posts: 72
    I've been on the receiving end of a friend's "fat clothes"...she had great taste and tended toward designer stuff. Hell yes, I wanted them! I didn't think it was demeaning at all.



    I second this!!!! My friend had great stuff that was given to her as a gift, really nice designer clothing, but it was too big for her. She casually asked me if I wanted them, and I was super pumped to wear them! That being said, if your friend is self conscious about her weight, it's probably not going to be the best thing to do. I wasn't super concerned with my weight at the time, and didn't view it was a put down at all. But every one is different, and you as her friend can probably gauge where she's at with herself!
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    no i don't find it rude to offer....i have a friend who has lost a lost of weight, and the pants i have when i was heavier fit her...she didn't/doesn't find it rude...she now has more pants to wear.
  • skinnytayy
    skinnytayy Posts: 459
    It. Might depend on how good of a friend.
    Are you and these friends on Facebook. Maybe you could make a general statement of "I have a few dresses I don't wear anymore, cute and in good shape, anyone want them?"
    Less "personal" than zeroing in on that one chubby friend.....

    Maybe Good Will is your best bet. (But I'd not be offended if it were me)

    ^ THIS. Really like the idea of making a generalized statement on FB. Then if she wants them, she can come to you.
  • castelluzzo99
    castelluzzo99 Posts: 313 Member
    You can always try freecycle. Post that you have some size __ clothes that are really cute with a lot of life left, come and get them.

    Usually people give me clothes when they don't fit in them anymore the other way. Your problem is a good one to have! :)
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    HOw did the dude on the thread hve the best idea? lol ;)

    I am torn on this one.... On one hand it seems good, but on the other hand, you are still "calling out that one chubby friend for your far clothes." Most females would see right through that and still consider it 'bing singled out for left over fat clothes'... And you are back to friends that would be fine with it and friends that would feel offended.

    Edited for the typos I caught, which may not be all of them.

    Depends on how you bring it up. Mention while hanging with them that you need to sort through them and could use help. It really isn't that difficult.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
    Pffft! Free clothes? I'm in! You can call me "fatty" to my face if you have great style. I'll be right over to try them on. ;)
  • ConnieM20
    ConnieM20 Posts: 493 Member
    i dont think its rude, if youre close to the friend and as long as you arent being an *kitten* when asking if she'd like the clothes youll be fine. maybe say something like "hey, i was going to be donating some clothes, do you want to see what you want first?" idk, i dont think its rude...at least to me lol
  • niftyafterfifty
    niftyafterfifty Posts: 338 Member
    Offer them. If she's a good friend, she'll know your heart. My sister loves getting clothes I can't wear any more.
  • squeakyfish
    squeakyfish Posts: 109 Member
    I just was gifted an awesome skirt from a friend who's lost weight. I'm still in process. I was very excited to get this skirt - I had admired it in the past! If she's a good friend, she will be happy to have them.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
    Just say:" I have a bag of clothes that is going to Good Will. If you know anyone who would want to go through them, let me know. Otherwise they will be gone by Tuesday."
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    My bestie who is also on here has offered me some of her clothes as she shrinks out of them. I LOVE this! Especially b/c she has good taste!

    I would just advise not calling them your "fat clothes" when you make the offer :laugh:
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Depends on the friend. I recently got a whole box of designer clothes from a friend. They weren't her fat clothes though so that might make a difference. I wasn't offended, even though I know she offered them to me because I'm broke and all my old clothes were too big.

    I think the suggestion to have her help you sort them is a good one, but I wouldn't be comfortable asking someone else for their clothes even if I knew they were being donated. Like I said, it just depends on the person.
  • HopefulLeigh
    HopefulLeigh Posts: 363 Member
    Only if you're calling them your fat clothes. I've been on the receiving end more than once and have been told, "Hey, I have some clothes I can't wear any more. Would you like to check them out and see if there's anything you want?" and that was cool with me. I've also been told, "Hey, I've got a ton of fat clothes that don't fit me anymore but they're probably your size," and it pissed me off pretty badly. Didn't help that I was SMALLER than she was, though. It's all in how you word it.
  • 3-fold has nailed it with the vague general facebook status
  • Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.
    Terrific answer!
  • JimLeonardRN
    JimLeonardRN Posts: 296 Member
    I might be interested.......You have anything that would fit me? Im 6-4 around 240 pounds. I like to dressup sometimes!
  • LadyZephyr
    LadyZephyr Posts: 286 Member
    Nah man, me and friends do it all the time. If it's their size, it's their size, so what if you're smaller than they are now? If she gets insulted, she get's insulted, but since you're close friends, I don't see why she would get pissed at you for offering her free awesome clothes. I sure as hell wouldn't.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    .
  • dognamedpig
    dognamedpig Posts: 38 Member
    You can always try freecycle. Post that you have some size __ clothes that are really cute with a lot of life left, come and get them.

    Usually people give me clothes when they don't fit in them anymore the other way. Your problem is a good one to have! :)

    I second this!
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
    Since you've swapped clothes before, what's the issue? Offer them to her and if she doesn't want them, donate them. All this tip toeing around worrying about being rude or hurting feelings; I don't get it. If my friend lost weight and wanted to give me clothes: COOL. The idea of saving money and getting things for free doesn't come across as rude at all. If it does, then it's THEIR problem; not yours.
  • MsMarlaMae
    MsMarlaMae Posts: 144 Member
    Eh, I offered two of my larger friends the option to go through clothes that didn't fit me anymore. Like you they were all super cute, and had lots of life in them.

    No one got upset or butt hurt. They were just happy about new clothes. Think it depends on what sorta friends you make. Mine know me well enough to know that if I was going to try and call them fat, I'd just call them fat.

    edited for spelling
  • Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    Exactly what I was going to say. Another fun option is to get a bunch of friends together for a clothing exchange. Everyone brings some stuff they don't want/wear anymore and throws it in a big pile and you all can go through it and pick some stuff out you like and donate what ever is left over. It's a ton of fun. I've gotten some awesome stuff that way before and gotten rid of some stuff I didn't like that my friends thought were treasures. What's that saying?
  • cookieluvsya
    cookieluvsya Posts: 136 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    best idea EVER!
  • whitecapwendy
    whitecapwendy Posts: 287 Member
    If you have been sharing clothes most of your life with this friend, I say let her know you are looking to get rid of clothes and/or do the facebook thing. She might be offended if she isn't offered clothing when you have been sharing most of your life. Only you would know her personality enough to know if she would be offended. How is she responding to your loss of weight?
  • Can always try ebay, as larger sizes always sell really well. Well done on the weight loss x
  • CyeRyn
    CyeRyn Posts: 389 Member
    What I did when I wanted to get rid of my bigger size clothes was ask to no one in specific on my facebook if anyone wants <insert size> pants and <insert size> shirts. If no one wanted them I donated it.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    YES YES YES! It doesn't matter how you say it, we know you're giving us your fat clothes. I've been there, and it's totally embarrassing!

    This. Besides, isn't it rude to "donate" your clothes to your friends anyways? Unless they're in need of course in which case I guess you can

    why would it be rude?

    I love when my one friend decides she doesnt want something...she has great taste!

    I dunno, it just feels like "Hey, I make more than you and can afford to give you charity". It might be a cultural/gender thing though since men rarely share clothes
  • Mads1997
    Mads1997 Posts: 1,494 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    This is a nice idea.
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
    I had no idea it was rude... I had like 5-6 pairs of jeans I offered to a friend of a friend who is / was the size I used to be. She mentioned she was trying to lose weight and her pants were getting too big, so I politely mentioned I'd gone through the same thing and had a bunch of extra jeans I couldn't wear anymore. I offered them to her, didn't ask her size, but told her what size they were. She later told me most of them were too small but eventually was able to start wearing a couple pairs after losing some weight. I really was just trying to be nice. Perfectly good jeans shouldn't go to waste!
  • BluePHX
    BluePHX Posts: 184 Member
    I'd say, mention it in front of her that you have a load of clothes you gotta drop off at the donation station. If she asks to look through them first then there ya go! And if she doesn't take notice, go forth with said donation. I would suggest not asking her if she wants to see them though. She will speak up if she is interested.

    A lot of my friends like to know when I'm on my way to donate because they wanna poke through first. Maybe she will as well! Or maybe not.