Is it RUDE to offer your "fat clothes" to a friend?

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Replies

  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    nope just say you have a some clothing that you think would look good on them and would they like to check it out
  • holleysings
    holleysings Posts: 664 Member
    SO, I've dropped a couple sizes and now have quite a few clothing items that are just way too big to wear and have look good on me. That being said, these clothes are all super cute and have lots of life left in them. So, do y'all think it's rude if I offer them to a friend who would look really cute in them? What I would think, is that it would all really be in how you word the offer. More of a: hey I've got a couple adorable dresses I don't wear anymore, would you want them INSTEAD OF A These are WAY too big on me...I bet they'd fit you :laugh: Obviously that's not what I'm trying to say. But even if you say it in a completely non- demeaning way - is it still rude?


    Just something to add: I've known here since I was about 5, and we've been sharing/borrowing clothes sine about age 13. But I'm worried it's different to actually give her things because they don't fit - not just because I dont want them anymore

    My friend gave me her "fat pants" and I am still eternally grateful to her. I had just dropped down to her old size and couldn't afford new pants. So she gave me ALL of her old pants so I didn't have to buy new ones. She's giving me some sundresses next week. I'm still shrinking, but I totally love that she's helping me through the process as she shrinks too!
  • Guisma
    Guisma Posts: 215
    Depends on the girl , its not rude but maybe could make her a bit jeaulous
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Taunto, give me your fat clothes.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    What I did when I wanted to get rid of my bigger size clothes was ask to no one in specific on my facebook if anyone wants <insert size> pants and <insert size> shirts. If no one wanted them I donated it.

    i did this too
  • autumnpennell
    autumnpennell Posts: 196 Member
    LOL., that is actually a very good question and something I have never given thought to. I think if you have dropped a SIGNIFICANT amount of weight, and refer to them as your fat clothes in front of your friends, and talk about how you never want to go back to that weight again, then I would be cautious. then again, it always depends on your friends. some people might gladly accept the offer and joke about it but it would still be a blessing to them because even though they haven't lost the weight, they would appreciate some free clothes. you know your friends better than anyone on here so I would keep that thought in mind. if you just lost a few pounds, maybe a pant size or too, I don't think that would be too offensive.
  • Elf_Princess1210
    Elf_Princess1210 Posts: 895 Member
    If you leave off the part of them no longer fitting, you can tell her you think they'd look nice on her.
  • GraceB2God
    GraceB2God Posts: 8 Member
    :happy:
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    hahahahahahaa...I don't know why I think this is a funny topic..but I cant stop laughing
  • whitecapwendy
    whitecapwendy Posts: 287 Member
    YES YES YES! It doesn't matter how you say it, we know you're giving us your fat clothes. I've been there, and it's totally embarrassing!

    This. Besides, isn't it rude to "donate" your clothes to your friends anyways? Unless they're in need of course in which case I guess you can
    why would it be rude?

    I love when my one friend decides she doesnt want something...she has great taste!

    I dunno, it just feels like "Hey, I make more than you and can afford to give you charity". It might be a cultural/gender thing though since men rarely share clothes

    because they have been sharing clothes since they were young children
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I don't think it is rude and I don't think you need to come up with a cunning plan to trick your friend. She knows what size she wears. Just say, "I have a few things in your size that would look amazing on you. Do you want to see if you would like any of them?"
  • marciebrian
    marciebrian Posts: 853 Member
    I just donate to charity.
    Of course this! Not in the least insulting to the people who need them and horribly insulting to your friends who can buy their own
  • HeatherSBrighterFuture
    HeatherSBrighterFuture Posts: 27
    Depends on how close you are and how you word it. You could talk about how she looks like she LOST a little weight and say "OMG! you would totally fit into those dresses now!" Or just put your stuff in a box and tell her there's some tops in there she might like and if she doesn't, they are going to Goodwill or the dump etc, then if she looks even slightly interested, just make her take the whole box and tell her whatever she doesn't want, toss them. That way she doesn't have to accept or refuse on the spot and all that good stuff.

    My sis in law recently gave me some jeans, and it's totally ok with me that she got so skinny before me and that I get to bask in her loss lol. She's always been one to buy the expensive stuff that actually looks great rather than the boxy stuff Walmart sells (that I buy haha).
  • badtastebetty
    badtastebetty Posts: 326 Member
    Have a clothing swap if you really feel it's that inappropriate.
  • thistleandfi
    thistleandfi Posts: 102 Member
    Assuming she isn't prone to being sensitive about her weight, I don't see the problem? You've known her for a long time and you have swapped clothes before... has she given you reason to think she might not react well to such an offer?

    My best friend lost a considerable amount of weight last year. When she offered me her jeans and such (this happened twice in less than a year) I wasn't offended in the least - I was grateful. Buying new clothes as I lose weight isn't exactly in my budget. I would have been bummed if she'd donated them without running it by me first :tongue: Now I have a pile of jeans and capris in a few different sizes waiting for me, I'm stoked.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    HOw did the dude on the thread hve the best idea? lol ;)

    QFT.

    Best advice in the thread.
  • 5ftnFun
    5ftnFun Posts: 948 Member
    I like/vote for the Facebook idea. I wouldn't say the offer is rude, and certainly some people would jump at the chance to get some new clothes, new to them anyway. But if you aren't certain how a person would react or suspect they are sensitive, I would not. It's a judgment call. But I do like the Facebook idea for sure, and the "come help me sort" is a good one too.
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
    I might be interested.......You have anything that would fit me? Im 6-4 around 240 pounds. I like to dressup sometimes!

    WELL, they fit me when I was 240lbs....but 5'5". But hey, if micro minis are your thing I bet you could make it work :laugh:
  • NutritionDivaRD
    NutritionDivaRD Posts: 467 Member
    Oooooh THIS is a great idea! Love it!
  • Amandastan
    Amandastan Posts: 30
    I don't think it's rude at all. Some people may get butthurt over it but it's their problem.
  • Silvergamma
    Silvergamma Posts: 102 Member
    Super rude.
  • NutritionDivaRD
    NutritionDivaRD Posts: 467 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    I'll try that again since I'm too much of a dork to get it right the first time. I looooooove this idea! GREAT way to let her pick without it looking like you were trying to give them to her! :)

    **edited for typos...can't type today.
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    ^^This is an excellent idea if you're concerned about offending anyone

    I've recently cleared out my clothes that were too big

    The friends I gave them to had a great time going thru and trying them on

    What they didn't want, they donated

    Just depends on your friends
  • Reinventing_Me
    Reinventing_Me Posts: 1,053 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    I like this answer... ALSO, while going through the clothes, you can always tell her that if there is something she wants, feel free. (That way, she won't feel guilty about asking for something that you're donating.)
  • SmashWhite85
    SmashWhite85 Posts: 18 Member
    I gave some of mine to my best friend when I lost weight a few years ago. She didn't seem upset at all.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    HOw did the dude on the thread hve the best idea? lol ;)

    What can I say? I am effin' brilliant!!

    True story. :happy:

    ETA: I asked my SIL if she wanted any of my old clothes and she seemed pretty offended. And she is the type of person who claims she can't be offended. So you might want to use Whierd's idea.
  • GraceB2God
    GraceB2God Posts: 8 Member
    I think that's an excellent idea but personally where i've rollercoasted with my weight, I would appreciate help with
    clothes either way and would not be embarrassed either way. Good Luck!
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Also, while going through them she may ask you how you lost weight. Pitch MFP and say you learned a lot about weight loss and exercise here. Don't try to shove a ton of info her way, just leave the door open for questions.
  • Elvira79
    Elvira79 Posts: 4
    Get all your girly mates together and throw a clothes swap party that way you get to show what you're getting rid of and if anybody wants them they take it and just donate what is left at the end of the night to a charity store
  • WaterBunnie
    WaterBunnie Posts: 1,371 Member
    Why not organise a Swishing Party where you all bring along as many items as you like and go home with whatever you fancy. Good music, bottle of wine, maybe a few party games or facials/nails if that's your thing, lots of trying on outfits and messing about with accessories and no pressure to take anything you don't want. Could be that she has some items that are too small for her that you might like in return!


    Sorry - was typing at the same time as Elvira!

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