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Is it RUDE to offer your "fat clothes" to a friend?

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Replies

  • bajoyba
    bajoyba Posts: 1,153 Member
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    Judging by the variety of responses here, I think it's a highly individual thing.
    Personally, I would love to receive free clothes from someone... provided they are polite about it when they offer!

    My BFF and I have exchanged lots of clothes in the past. She's always been a little bigger than I am, but we often wore the same size, particularly in tops. Last fall she lost about 30 pounds and got a lot closer to my original size, so when I started losing weight this year, it seemed natural to offer her my favorite items that I could no longer wear. Not only was she super happy about it, but I'm positive that if I had donated them instead of asking her if she wanted them, she would have been mad! But we have a very close relationship and a similar style, and she really enjoys thrift shopping and re-purposing things.

    So I definitely think it depends on the person.
  • Ashellini
    Ashellini Posts: 95 Member
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    I don't think it's offensive and none of my friends would either. We always give each other the option before anything goes to goodwill.
  • frizbeemom
    frizbeemom Posts: 101 Member
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    I was given fat clothes and gave fat clothes... and it worked well both times but it was from one good friend to another, and they were super nice clothes and we liked the same colors and style. Feel her out in a general sort of way. I broached the subject gently instead of just handing over bags of clothes. :)
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    You mentioned you guys swap clothes sometimes. Well can you lend them to her and then "forget" to ask for it? And if she wants to give it back come up with a reason you don't need it?
  • MySlimGoals
    MySlimGoals Posts: 754 Member
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    You can offer it on facebook making it look like you're offering it to everyone - but change your privacy settings for that offer message so that your friend is the only one who can see the offer! Sneaky, but she'll be the one who gets the clothes.
  • TammyS327
    TammyS327 Posts: 134 Member
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    Not if they're cute clothes.

    ↑↑↑THIS!
  • Xiaolongbao
    Xiaolongbao Posts: 854 Member
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    Wow. I never realised people were so sensitive.

    I keep giving people my old stuff. They seem happy enough.

    People keep giving me stuff too. "Hey, now you're skinnier you probably fit my stuff, want some?" I'm always like "hell yes".

    And in one story that amuses me vaguely a colleague gave me a skirt because she got too fat for it. I loved it and wore it lots. Then I lost a lot of weight and so did she. She came to me and said "hey, now you're too skinny for that skirt and I've lost weight can I have it back" so the skirt got double recycled.

    Personally I'd just say "I'm cleaning out my wardrobe and getting rid of a lot of stuff, are you interested in taking a look through it?" she can say yes or no.
  • emacb123
    emacb123 Posts: 254 Member
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    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    HOw did the dude on the thread hve the best idea? lol ;)

    I had the same thought!
  • allisonrozsa
    allisonrozsa Posts: 178 Member
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    It depends on the size, and it depends on the person. My sister dropped from a 12 to a 6 a while back and gave me a really node sweater and some really nice suits & dresses to my mom. I'm looking forward to getting into the sweater, but my mom (though she looks great in my sister's clothes) doesn't feel good because she feels fat (she was always tiny). It's kind of a draw. If they are really nice clothes I would be the type of person to gladly accept but it may unintentionally hurt someone else. Give to goodwill or try to sell second hand.
  • lynda3y9
    lynda3y9 Posts: 62 Member
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    should not be a problem to ask her is she wants them!!!!!..particularly if she is a good friend.... being on the receiving end numerous times this comes from the perspective of the receiver.....I think it is pratical, it was new clothes to me that didn't cost me anything. somethings that i never would have tried that i ended up loving, .......i probably have 1/4 of my clothes from friends... some who lost weight and some that they just didn't wear anymore. i hope to be giving some away soon and i'll ask the friends, and a couple coworkers, if they are interested (in the good ones only of course).

    i have a group of girlfriends who get together regularly and often a bag of clothes come in and we'll all rifle thru it - and we are all different sizes.

    if you're concerned how she'll react, all you have to say is you've got some things you are donating and is she interested in checking them out, she is more than welcome. She can take them home, take what she wants, and then donate the rest herself so there is no 'will it fit/size checking' involved --- that's usual the worst part.

    and congrats on getting rid of a couple sizes!!
  • kalea_kane
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    I never reject free clothes. I could care less why I am getting them. The way you first put it sounds perfect to me.
  • jgcurry3
    jgcurry3 Posts: 172 Member
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    Not rude at all. I accept any and all clothes people give to me. I never know when someone will need a change of clothes when they are at my place. Plus whenever disasters happen I always have a surplus of clothes I can donate.
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
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    I don't consider it rude. I had some very expensive corsets that would not have been appreciated by the average goodwill shopper. I gave them to a good friend who was ecstatic to have them.
  • altinker
    altinker Posts: 173
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    Just say that you are doing spring cleaning and cleaning out the closet so you can buy some new stuff. Ask her if she wants any of it before you donate it. If the stuff is cute, she will be interested. My sister in law and I have no problems with that.
  • Justjamie0418
    Justjamie0418 Posts: 1,065 Member
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    I give my too big clothes away? Noone has ever acted upset or embarrassed by it.
  • willdob3
    willdob3 Posts: 640 Member
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    Definitely depends on the person how they would take it. I'm also assuming anyone in their right mind would know better than to ask someone, "Hey, you want my old FAT CLOTHES???" lol...

    We've had people at work who've lost weight bring in some of their too big clothing & leave it on a counter for people to go through & take what they want.

    I also like the idea of an open invitation on FB, etc.

    I don't have money for a new wardrobe so what I am doing is taking my best things to consignment so I can get some cash back to put toward new things. I'll donate everything else.

    I gave a friend my best clothes once rather than donate them or take them to consignment & I always regretted it. Her taste is fads, mine is classic. She hoards clothing & is always buying new things. She did not need my things & I am pretty sure she never wore any of them. I wish I had donated my things so someone who really needed some nice things might have been able to enjoy them.
  • gonnamakeanewaccount
    gonnamakeanewaccount Posts: 642 Member
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    Sell them on eBay.
  • Siege_Tank
    Siege_Tank Posts: 781 Member
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    yes.
  • myfitnessval
    myfitnessval Posts: 687 Member
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    nope. i had some really cute clothes and high end stuff that i couldnt part ways with even though i hadnt worn them in MONTHS and i asked a couple friends who were my size if they wanted to take a peek because i couldnt bear giving away my good stuff to bad homes. lol i unloaded a couple pairs of pants/jeans & one of my favorite jackets!
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    Only if you're calling them your fat clothes. I've been on the receiving end more than once and have been told, "Hey, I have some clothes I can't wear any more. Would you like to check them out and see if there's anything you want?" and that was cool with me. I've also been told, "Hey, I've got a ton of fat clothes that don't fit me anymore but they're probably your size," and it pissed me off pretty badly. Didn't help that I was SMALLER than she was, though. It's all in how you word it.

    This. It's all how you say it.