Is it RUDE to offer your "fat clothes" to a friend?

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Replies

  • BeinAwesome247
    BeinAwesome247 Posts: 257 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    HOw did the dude on the thread hve the best idea? lol ;)

    I am torn on this one.... On one hand it seems good, but on the other hand, you are still "calling out that one chubby friend for your far clothes." Most females would see right through that and still consider it 'bing singled out for left over fat clothes'... And you are back to friends that would be fine with it and friends that would feel offended.

    Edited for the typos I caught, which may not be all of them.

    Depends on how you bring it up. Mention while hanging with them that you need to sort through them and could use help. It really isn't that difficult.

    Yea I think way too many women are being way TOO sensitive. And what kind of friends do you have?
    My friends and I have swapped clothes back & forth all the time throughout the years.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    SMH. I guess my friendships are way different than the norm or all of my friends and family are rude. Look, I was fat, I know this, they know this. When both a friend and my mother lost some weight and knew I was approaching size 12 (due to losing), they both offered me their pants/jeans. This is not charity, it's being thoughtful and caring by offering their clothes to someone they know and care about who they know can use them rather than just dropping them off at Goodwill or making a deal with a consignment shop.

    OP, I think since you've been friends with this person for so long, you should be able to be open and honest with them and avoid the whole generic FB post BS. Why be sneaky? It's such a waste of time and energy! Just call or email her and say "hey I've got a couple cute dresses I think you'd love, want to come over (or have you bring them to her) to try them on? If she says no, fine, bring them to Goodwill or something.
  • AlyssaJoJo
    AlyssaJoJo Posts: 449 Member
    I don't find this as rude at all. When my mom had WLS I got all her old fat clothes and LOVED it. I gave some to my fat friends and they LOVED it. I've even mailed off some of my clothes that have become too big to women I have met on here - guess what... they loved it.
  • crissyniko
    crissyniko Posts: 47 Member
    I laughed at the topic of this thread because in March I called my twin sister who lives in New Jersey and asked her if I could have her "fat clothes" since she has lost so much weight!!! She told me she already gave them away, so I said maybe I should just lose some weight! Her reply was "Good idea" then I started the exercise and tracking on April 1
  • vickyg1
    vickyg1 Posts: 211 Member
    I guess Im just not senstitive. I have a friend who gives me her old clothes and Im like Hell yeah!!!!
  • HapThompson
    HapThompson Posts: 48 Member
    My friend and I had a swap - my too-big stuff for her too-small stuff! She suggested it... Sadly her too small stuff is now too big, which is a shame because i really loved some of the stuff I got from her.

    I've given stuff to other friends - people I knew would be fine with it. My colleague is wearing a shirt I gave her at work today. It looks really good on her, way better than it ever did on me! I've also donated stuff and sold stuff on Ebay.

    I think you have to play it by ear depending on the friend and your relationship with them. I wouldn't try to give anything to my sister for example, as I might get my eyes scratched out in a fit of jealousy...
  • run_way
    run_way Posts: 220
    Just say you've got a bunch of clothes you're going to give to Goodwill, but you wanted her to go through them to see if there is anything that she wants - then she can pick what she wants and you can donate the rest.

    Don't mention they're your "fat" clothes, just say you're planning on donating them and leave it at that.
  • Power_Man77
    Power_Man77 Posts: 207
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    I agree or try a consignment shop get a few bucks
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
    Are you and these friends on Facebook. Maybe you could make a general statement of "I have a few dresses I don't wear anymore, cute and in good shape, anyone want them?"
    Less "personal" than zeroing in on that one chubby friend.....
    Totally cool idea! :happy:

    Agreed!
  • tabbydog
    tabbydog Posts: 4,925 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    HOw did the dude on the thread hve the best idea? lol ;)

    This is exactly what I was thinking! :laugh: :laugh:
  • JLHNU212
    JLHNU212 Posts: 169 Member
    I LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of having her come and help you go through your donation clothes that you "dont wear much anymore" and she can decide if she wants to take them. To me, that is not calling me fat, it is me wanting your cute clothes that you dont want anymore because you dont wear them enough! That is why my sister did with her clothes for me and it was not offensive at all and was more like a shopping spree of her cute cltohes! :) Good luck with whatever you decide!!!
  • 4_Lisa
    4_Lisa Posts: 362 Member
    People are WAY too sensitive these days... I'm not one to beat around the bush. My friends know this, so they don't take my bluntness as a bad thing... LOL. I've come right out and asked my friends what size they wear, they respond and I tell em, well I may have some stuff that would fit you. Never been an issue.
  • stephisneat
    stephisneat Posts: 29 Member
    I don't see anything wrong with it. If you say "Hey I was clearing out my closet and wanted to see if you cared to look through them before I donated them." No where in that sentence does it say "you're larger than me".
  • stephisneat
    stephisneat Posts: 29 Member
    I guess Im just not senstitive. I have a friend who gives me her old clothes and Im like Hell yeah!!!!

    Free clothes! Why not??
  • whwalker123
    whwalker123 Posts: 21
    What size? Send them my way! :)
  • KAR1959
    KAR1959 Posts: 4,348 Member
    If you know there's a chance you will offend your friend then don't do it. Just donate the clothes to charity.
  • michellelemorgan
    michellelemorgan Posts: 184 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    I know if it were me I would not want to miss out on those amazing dresses... fat clothes or not. I love the idea of asking her to help you sort through them. Then you could say "if you see anything you want you can have it!"
  • Gizziemoto
    Gizziemoto Posts: 430 Member
    I gave all the dressy ones to a program to assist women trying to get back on their feet look good for job interviews. The rest, I let my in-laws pick through before I donated the rest.

    There is nothing wrong with it and if they are a good friend, they appreciate it, mine did and was not insulted because she liked my clothes.. If you feel bad about it, then donate them to a charity. It feels good to help others who need help.
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
    EBAY them and buy new new new :bigsmile:
  • bemott
    bemott Posts: 180
    No way is it rude. I gave all my clothes to a friend and she loves them. Free cute clothes are the best!
  • amytag
    amytag Posts: 206 Member
    I would just offer them! My sister and I are both losing weight, but she started doing it months before me. I was happy to take her too-big clothes off her hands! Now I am handing over my too-big clothes to a friend who had started losing weight, but then found out she was pregnant. Cute clothes for larger ladies are expensive and really hard to find! I don't think you'd be hurting her feelings at all, in fact, you might just inspire her to make these HER too-big clothes soon!
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
    No wonder my bro hasn’t text me back in the last two weeks after I offered him my fat cloths. =(
  • Dawnomite
    Dawnomite Posts: 37 Member
    I wouldn't call them "My FAT clothes." That would be insensitive.
  • LoosingMyLast15
    LoosingMyLast15 Posts: 1,457 Member
    SO, I've dropped a couple sizes and now have quite a few clothing items that are just way too big to wear and have look good on me. That being said, these clothes are all super cute and have lots of life left in them. So, do y'all think it's rude if I offer them to a friend who would look really cute in them? What I would think, is that it would all really be in how you word the offer. More of a: hey I've got a couple adorable dresses I don't wear anymore, would you want them INSTEAD OF A These are WAY too big on me...I bet they'd fit you :laugh: Obviously that's not what I'm trying to say. But even if you say it in a completely non- demeaning way - is it still rude?


    Just something to add: I've known here since I was about 5, and we've been sharing/borrowing clothes sine about age 13. But I'm worried it's different to actually give her things because they don't fit - not just because I dont want them anymore

    depends on what you say. if you were to say hey do you want these clothes they would look super cute on you then great offer them. HOWEVER if you say he do you want these clothes they are too big for me but would look super cute on your then ummm... nope don't bother offering them.

    see the difference. it doesn't matter if you've known this person for 100 years we are ALL SENSITIVE about our size/weight.

    i recently had the "pleasure" of shopping with a friend who is smaller than me. she kept on showing me tops that were too large for me saying this would be super cute on you. i KNOW she was not being mean or hurtful but it did hurt because i'm trying real hard to loose the weight so to have her pull out a size that i no longer wear hurt me plain and simple. yes i said something to her.
  • cindylu35
    cindylu35 Posts: 43 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    BEST ANSWER AWARD!!!!
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
    Bring your friend over to help you "sort your donation clothes". If she is interested then she will ask to take the ones she likes. It is a non-confrontational way to let her choose if she wants them.

    Good idea there.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    lol Yeah as long as you don't all it "fat clothes" I see nothing wrong with it.
  • moliva4
    moliva4 Posts: 29
    My sister-in-law gave me her "fat clothes" when she lost a lot of weight. I wasn't offended. It depends on the relationship you have with the person. If it's a close relationship - there should be no worry of offending. In fact we were saying we'd swap because I have my "skinny clothes" still (gained a bunch of weight in the last 5 years that I'm only now attempting to get rid of). I think only you'd know the relationship you have with this person and whether or not they'd be offended.
  • egwene1977
    egwene1977 Posts: 69
    I don't think it's rude at all. I gave mine to my neighbor, and she LOVES them. We know what size we are, and if you tell them they can keep them until they no longer need them, it's like paying it forward :)
  • socioseguro
    socioseguro Posts: 1,679 Member
    I laughed at the topic of this thread because in March I called my twin sister who lives in New Jersey and asked her if I could have her "fat clothes" since she has lost so much weight!!! She told me she already gave them away, so I said maybe I should just lose some weight! Her reply was "Good idea" then I started the exercise and tracking on April 1


    Love this comment. Good for you and your sister.

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