My Online BF Dumped Me Because I'm Fat :( :( :(

Why would you feel this has anything to do with you, or your weight?

This guy needs psychiatric help, this has nothing to do with you, sweetheart.

I think I just suffered a brain aneurysm from reading this thread. To all of those who say you can't be 5'5 and 250 pounds in the military you are terribly wrong. I served 25 years and was a First Sergeant. I can tell you there were a significant number of people who were and are grossily overweight. Anywhere from 50 to 100 pounds. Most of them were/are in the weight management programs for the various services.

I can tell you specifically that I have personally been involved with several individuals who were 50-60 pounds over weight but could pass the PT tests and were allowed to remain in the service.

I do agree.
At 230 and fat as ****, I could run a mile in 5:30. I easily could have passed PT with another 20lb.

Must... not... go on a rant... about people... being ignorant about online relationships...

Okay. I've regained control.

OP, honey, that is one hell of an awful night you went through. I am truly sorry you had to put up with that... especially the puking! Ugh.

But when it boils down to it, I have to agree with the people saying this is absolutely, 100% HIS problem. Whether he is suffering from some sort of mental disease doesn't really matter-- the point is that he's hurt you, tremendously, by proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is unwilling to give you a chance. You do NOT want to be with a man like this, online or IRL.

Please do yourself a favor and seek some counseling -- this sort of thing can mess you up if not addressed properly. Feel free to add me if you want to vent or talk about this further, because I have a lot of experience with online / long distance relationships. Also, as others have said, the weight loss is for YOU, not for anyone else. The moment you start promising someone else that you'll get thinner and "go to the gym and eat fruits and veggies every day" to stay with them is the moment you sacrifice your entire life for another person's benefit. And that is unfair to you! You do deserve better, like he said. You deserve someone who is going to love you no matter what weight you are.

The problem I have is with the word "Online".

Stick to REAL men in the REAL world.

People are real online, too. I was with my ex for three years, and only a few months of that was "in real life". That doesn't mean our relationship was invalid, nor is anyone else's.

Just because you jumped out of an airplane sans chute and lived to tell the tale doesn't make it a great idea for everyone else to try. I'm happy it worked out for you, but really in most cases, more trouble than good comes from internet dating.

I'll be your one exception. I'll warm your heart with my binary fingers

I sense a fake story.

However, he's in the Army? I don't believe he was that heavy...but the Navy? Go to any Navy town...they're full of fat sailors. ESPECIALLY the female ones. You can't say fat service members don't exist...other branches are just more tolerable than others.

It is a fake story. No way your bf was in the military being that heavy end of story

I dated someone who was overweight and in the army. I know he was because he had the uniforms, worked at the VA and he was stationed at West Point. I spent a few nights in his dorm. It is possible to be overweight in the army. Just because you've never seen an overweight soldier, doesn't mean they don't exist. PLUS, there are different jobs that those in the army work, and some are desk jobs.

His email on April 23:

Im sorry for calling security but u should have really let me go and deal with this on my own. The fact u were chasing me scared me as any man. I never been chased like that before.
Stop saying u will not recover. There is only one choice in life and that is to go up and stop bringing yourself down. I don't want to date seriously for awhile. I will just wait for a sign thats its time. I will prob go to boracay r bohol to just do homework an hang out at the beach.
Good luck and get stronger. Stop looking for Mr. Perfect, cause u really asked alot of me. Just FYI. And keep going ot the gym. Im actually gonna try to lose weight myself cause now i have all these mirrors in the hotel and I dont like being this big. Hard to even find a pair of shorts my size.
We can keep in email contact and stuff.



That was his email which I didn't answer. So he sent this at like 3 in the morning the next day:

hey, i hope u are ok.Not sure how to deal with this.Gonna leave here soon. maybe bora or go on a mini tour. just hope u are ok

1. you came on WAY too strong with someone you'd never met in person before

2. he's just NOT into you...for whatever reason.

3. he's married to someone else anyway

/game over
move on with your life ...you probably never really 'knew' this guy anyway...only the online/skype persona he wanted to portray.

The problem I have is with the word "Online".

Stick to REAL men in the REAL world.

People are real online, too. I was with my ex for three years, and only a few months of that was "in real life". That doesn't mean our relationship was invalid, nor is anyone else's.

Just because you jumped out of an airplane sans chute and lived to tell the tale doesn't make it a great idea for everyone else to try. I'm happy it worked out for you, but really in most cases, more trouble than good comes from internet dating.

Uh huh. Riiiiight. Because dating a person online is akin to an experience that should result in death?

Yes, you're right, you must be totally 100% the authority on this! :noway:

People are people. The only thing that changes online is the method of communication. You are JUST as likely to meet a serial killer out at the bar, or some other random "real" place, than online. So please take your ignorant cynicism elsewhere.

My brother married a girl off the internet. She tried to attack him, got arrested for assault and their divorce is pending.
My dad married a girl off the internet. She emptied our house and bank accounts 1 year in.
My dad got married again off the internet, she and a cop tried to frame him in an attempt to get him arrested and take over all his assets. Cop was fired and they are now divorced.

Internet dating IS akin to death.

Edited to add: I hate cops.

He did not reject you because of your weight. He is just plain nuts. You are lucky to get away from him. This guy sounds like an emotional abuser. Stay away from him. Anyway, My two cents worth.

All you people saying this story is fake deserve a good, hearty slap in the face.

That is all.

THIS. There are people who make up stories for sympathy, but I don't think this is one of them. It sounds like someone who got drunk, freaked out, which happens, and things just fell apart. It happens to the best of us. I had a boyfriend drink half a bottle of Jack Daniels and when that Jack hit him, he started crying and wanting to off himself.

He keeps saying I have a good heart and he hopes I find the happiness I deserve. But if he really thinks that, then why did he end things with me?

Because he is sure (for whatever reason) that he can't provide the happiness that you deserve. This is not about you, it's about him- and he has issues. Big ones. Don't carry his issues forward with you, because you have plenty of your own stuff to work out. Worry about you, take care of you, make YOURSELF your priority. You'll be just fine, and he'll still be a crazy person and a terrible drunk.

BUMP

The problem I have is with the word "Online".

Stick to REAL men in the REAL world.

People are real online, too. I was with my ex for three years, and only a few months of that was "in real life". That doesn't mean our relationship was invalid, nor is anyone else's.

Just because you jumped out of an airplane sans chute and lived to tell the tale doesn't make it a great idea for everyone else to try. I'm happy it worked out for you, but really in most cases, more trouble than good comes from internet dating.

Uh huh. Riiiiight. Because dating a person online is akin to an experience that should result in death?

Yes, you're right, you must be totally 100% the authority on this! :noway:

People are people. The only thing that changes online is the method of communication. You are JUST as likely to meet a serial killer out at the bar, or some other random "real" place, than online. So please take your ignorant cynicism elsewhere.

My brother married a girl off the internet. She tried to attack him, got arrested for assault and their divorce is pending.
My dad married a girl off the internet. She emptied our house and bank accounts 1 year in.
My dad got married again off the internet, she and a cop tried to frame him in an attempt to get him arrested and take over all his assets. Cop was fired and they are now divorced.

Internet dating IS akin to death.

Edited to add: I hate cops.

My dad married a woman from the internet, and while I think she is a conniving, gold-digging beyotch, my dad likes her well enough. She certainly isn't a criminal.

I have gone on many, many dates with people whom I have met online, and I was engaged to my ex who lived her entire life in California. I am still alive, healthy, assault-free, and have not had anything stolen from me.

Actually, the ONE time I hooked up with a guy who approached me at a hotel pool, he tried to put it in my butt. And was far more of a creep than anyone I've met online.

Your dad and brother got unlucky, plain and simple. (And no offense but your dad is kind of thick for marrying a person from the web AGAIN when that didn't work out for him the first time around...)
Because see... the thing is... like I said... you are just as likely to meet the crazies "irl" as online.

The problem I have is with the word "Online".

Stick to REAL men in the REAL world.

People are real online, too. I was with my ex for three years, and only a few months of that was "in real life". That doesn't mean our relationship was invalid, nor is anyone else's.

Just because you jumped out of an airplane sans chute and lived to tell the tale doesn't make it a great idea for everyone else to try. I'm happy it worked out for you, but really in most cases, more trouble than good comes from internet dating.

Uh huh. Riiiiight. Because dating a person online is akin to an experience that should result in death?

Yes, you're right, you must be totally 100% the authority on this! :noway:

People are people. The only thing that changes online is the method of communication. You are JUST as likely to meet a serial killer out at the bar, or some other random "real" place, than online. So please take your ignorant cynicism elsewhere.

My brother married a girl off the internet. She tried to attack him, got arrested for assault and their divorce is pending.
My dad married a girl off the internet. She emptied our house and bank accounts 1 year in.
My dad got married again off the internet, she and a cop tried to frame him in an attempt to get him arrested and take over all his assets. Cop was fired and they are now divorced.

Internet dating IS akin to death.

Not all of them. Just because you know a few people out of the thoasands (?) who have had successful internet relationships.

I myself met my husband here on myfitnesspal while I was going through a painful divorce, moved across the country to be with him and we've been happily married for 13 months. Not a long time, but we appreciate what we have and HAVE a great relationship/marriage...nor are we crazy.

When you go internet relationship crazy, kill your husband, chop him up and serve him in a stew to the volunteers in the search party combing the forest for your "missing" husband, his ghost will go "I should have listened to that wise cat..."

Edit: You realize that this entire argument you're making? Is not only implying that EVERYONE online is a psychopath (which means you and me, by the by), but also means that everyone who uses the internet has intent to deceive. Got something you'd like to share with the class?

The problem I have is with the word "Online".

Stick to REAL men in the REAL world.

People are real online, too. I was with my ex for three years, and only a few months of that was "in real life". That doesn't mean our relationship was invalid, nor is anyone else's.

Just because you jumped out of an airplane sans chute and lived to tell the tale doesn't make it a great idea for everyone else to try. I'm happy it worked out for you, but really in most cases, more trouble than good comes from internet dating.

Uh huh. Riiiiight. Because dating a person online is akin to an experience that should result in death?

Yes, you're right, you must be totally 100% the authority on this! :noway:

People are people. The only thing that changes online is the method of communication. You are JUST as likely to meet a serial killer out at the bar, or some other random "real" place, than online. So please take your ignorant cynicism elsewhere.

My brother married a girl off the internet. She tried to attack him, got arrested for assault and their divorce is pending.
My dad married a girl off the internet. She emptied our house and bank accounts 1 year in.
My dad got married again off the internet, she and a cop tried to frame him in an attempt to get him arrested and take over all his assets. Cop was fired and they are now divorced.

Internet dating IS akin to death.

Edited to add: I hate cops.

My dad married a woman from the internet, and while I think she is a conniving, gold-digging beyotch, my dad likes her well enough. She certainly isn't a criminal.

I have gone on many, many dates with people whom I have met online, and I was engaged to my ex who lived her entire life in California. I am still alive, healthy, assault-free, and have not had anything stolen from me.

Actually, the ONE time I hooked up with a guy who approached me at a hotel pool, he tried to put it in my butt. And was far more of a creep than anyone I've met online.

Your dad and brother got unlucky, plain and simple. (And no offense but your dad is kind of thick for marrying a person from the web AGAIN when that didn't work out for him the first time around...)
Because see... the thing is... like I said... you are just as likely to meet the crazies "irl" as online.

You mean there are people who DON'T put it in the butt?

The problem I have is with the word "Online".

Stick to REAL men in the REAL world.

People are real online, too. I was with my ex for three years, and only a few months of that was "in real life". That doesn't mean our relationship was invalid, nor is anyone else's.

Just because you jumped out of an airplane sans chute and lived to tell the tale doesn't make it a great idea for everyone else to try. I'm happy it worked out for you, but really in most cases, more trouble than good comes from internet dating.

Uh huh. Riiiiight. Because dating a person online is akin to an experience that should result in death?

Yes, you're right, you must be totally 100% the authority on this! :noway:

People are people. The only thing that changes online is the method of communication. You are JUST as likely to meet a serial killer out at the bar, or some other random "real" place, than online. So please take your ignorant cynicism elsewhere.

My brother married a girl off the internet. She tried to attack him, got arrested for assault and their divorce is pending.
My dad married a girl off the internet. She emptied our house and bank accounts 1 year in.
My dad got married again off the internet, she and a cop tried to frame him in an attempt to get him arrested and take over all his assets. Cop was fired and they are now divorced.

Internet dating IS akin to death.

Edited to add: I hate cops.

My dad married a woman from the internet, and while I think she is a conniving, gold-digging beyotch, my dad likes her well enough. She certainly isn't a criminal.

I have gone on many, many dates with people whom I have met online, and I was engaged to my ex who lived her entire life in California. I am still alive, healthy, assault-free, and have not had anything stolen from me.

Actually, the ONE time I hooked up with a guy who approached me at a hotel pool, he tried to put it in my butt. And was far more of a creep than anyone I've met online.

Your dad and brother got unlucky, plain and simple. (And no offense but your dad is kind of thick for marrying a person from the web AGAIN when that didn't work out for him the first time around...)
Because see... the thing is... like I said... you are just as likely to meet the crazies "irl" as online.

You mean there are people who DON'T put it in the butt?

Yep. My boyfriend tried to rim me once while I was drunk and I hated it. I do not judge the actions of others, and I have heard it can be quite pleasurable for men, but my personal butt is exit-only.