Ideas for *witty* responses to healthy haters

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mshafer1230
mshafer1230 Posts: 1
in Motivation and Support
So a close relative remarked, " You can still see the roots on those," as I was happily eating lightly broiled brussels sprouts.
"Yeah, you know where they came from," I responded.

She continued her rant about eating vegetables. My quip did not make her laugh or shut up.

I need better, smart-*kitten*, but funny quips/comebacks that will shut people up. I haven't found anything online. Come on, there had to be funny healthy people, right?
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Replies

  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I've just cultivated a deanpan, one eyebrow slightly raised stare that makes people extrodinarily uncomfortable. No comments needed, just gaze at them like they are a slightly fascinating but mostly repugnant amoeba until they go away.
  • LuHox
    LuHox Posts: 136
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    Great idea for a thread. I've often felt the need for some of those...

    Unfortunately I can't think of anything. I just want to come back and read others ideas :)
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
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    i do not think you need to bother. just smile and nod till they get tired. well done for eating your veggies.
  • wisdombabies
    wisdombabies Posts: 7
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    I admit I have no witty responses to offer. However, I am fascinated that your relative said she could "see roots" on brussels sprouts. Clearly she has never seen them growing - they grow off of a stalk, "roots" are an impossibility. Take your relative to a farm for goodness sake, maybe she would appreciate her veggies more. :)
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
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    I've just cultivated a deanpan, one eyebrow slightly raised stare that makes people extrodinarily uncomfortable. No comments needed, just gaze at them like they are a slightly fascinating but mostly repugnant amoeba until they go away.

    LOL I do this too. I find it to be a bit rude, but then again, it is my response to rude people.
  • Minerva624
    Minerva624 Posts: 577 Member
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    I usually just give them a stupid look with an irrelevant remark in a derpy tone.
  • JessHealthKick
    JessHealthKick Posts: 800 Member
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    I tend to respond with;

    "I just like to respect my body, and eating well and exercising regularly gives me more energy, better skin and in fact tastes a lot better than all the processed junk these days. Shall we compare our health when we're both in our 50s?"

    I also get crap from people all the time because I have pale skin and always stay out of the sun - again the "comparing at 50" seems to shut them up :)

    They will try to catch you out when you have a treat like chocolate or something, but you know what, they feel guilty about not respecting their bodies and it does the job in my opinion.
  • Hollander001
    Hollander001 Posts: 8 Member
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    Just reply by saying, well those roots look better than your toenails you might want to consider eating these instead. You can always say I just eat veggies because I love myself it's time for you to look in the mirror and see what I see.
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
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    Results speak for themselves, Nobody says nothing about what I eat, normally they are just curious.
  • Codename_Duchess
    Codename_Duchess Posts: 2,042 Member
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    Something I read from Dave Zinczenko was that everybody "diets." It's not something you go on, it's what you eat, whatever you're eating, & if you look up the definition for diet, you'll find that he's right. So I always used to joke that I never diet because it has the word "die" in it, until my coworker said, "But at least when I die, I'd have a smaller coffin." She didn't mean it maliciously & I didn't take it that way, but it did get me wondering & it'd still be years before I started to change my, har har, diet.

    As far as witty responses go, haters gonna hate. I'm finding agreeing that it's not your usual greasy fare & asking if they'd like a bit is better for my mind & spirit. You still keep your positivity & they go away (usually) feeling like an *kitten*. ^_^
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
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    My response. I have diabetes. If I ate like you it would kill me.

    It's true and I will get to look at their jaw drop.
  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C13KWHYcW2c

    That.
  • ghhosstt
    ghhosstt Posts: 112
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    hmm, maybe something like, "I prefer healthy vegetables to things like chips, especially the one on your shoulder"
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    Aside from the deadpan stare, I'd employ a healthy dose of scorn. "seriously? you're mocking me for eating vegetables? that's a thing now?"
  • AnDiallo
    AnDiallo Posts: 131 Member
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    hmm, maybe something like, "I prefer healthy vegetables to things like chips, especially the one on your shoulder"
    I let out an audible 'ooooohh'.
    This right here is a good one lol
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    "If you are what you eat then you must be a clown" - (if they like McDonalds ;)
  • thecakelocker
    thecakelocker Posts: 407 Member
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    I used to be mocked for eating vegetables by someone that ate literally nothing but red hot cheetos and fruitopia. It was too hilarious to be irritating.
  • SenseiCole
    SenseiCole Posts: 429 Member
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    "broccoli gets stuck in your teeth, french fries get stuck on your *kitten*"
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
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    "If you are what you eat then you must be a clown" - (if they like McDonalds ;)

    if we were in a school yard id punch you right now.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    "If you are what you eat then you must be a clown" - (if they like McDonalds ;)

    if we were in a school yard id punch you right now.

    I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?

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