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Help me pick my next wife...

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Posts: 1,270 Member
in Chit-Chat
Bosom and hip size don't matter as I plan on impregnating her as soon as the ink is dry on the marriage license. Soon after giving birth I plan on putting her on a raspberry ketone diet and already have a doctor for the breast augmentation.

She must have a good personality and love outdoor activities. Please keep the friend requests to a minimum as my time will be consumed by interviewing these ladies.

As long as she has good birthing hips, then age isn't a factor.

I'm a visual creature, please post pictures.

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  • Posts: 4,123 Member
    bored, ricardo? ;)
  • Posts: 1,270 Member
    bored, ricardo? ;)

    Are you applying?
  • Posts: 2,780 Member
    <---Birthing hips. Does this position come with full benefits and health insurance?
  • Posts: 6,997 Member
    You should get one with large hips so the baby falls right out of her. That way she won't have to stop washing dishes to lie down or anything. Just my two cents.
  • Posts: 3,677 Member
    Too bad you're cauterized.
  • Posts: 1,270 Member
    You should get one with large hips so the baby falls right out of her. That way she won't have to stop washing dishes to lie down or anything. Just my two cents.

    I have a dishwasher silly.
  • Posts: 1,270 Member
    <---Birthing hips. Does this position come with full benefits and health insurance?

    To include dental and vision! Yes...a full set of your own teeth is a prerequisite.
  • Posts: 155
    You should get one with large hips so the baby falls right out of her. That way she won't have to stop washing dishes to lie down or anything. Just my two cents.

    Lol! She's on the money!
  • Posts: 3,499 Member
    show previous quotes

    To include dental and vision! Yes...a full set of your own teeth is a prerequisite.

    I heard from a guy that knows a guy that knows my brothers BFF that a full set of teeth can get in the way and gums are TOTALLY the way to go....

    jus sayin
  • Posts: 2,208 Member
    As long as she has good birthing hips, then age isn't a factor.

    tumblr_mkeip5QjYS1rt1ok0o1_500.gif
  • Posts: 1,270 Member
    show previous quotes

    I heard from a guy that knows a guy that knows my brothers BFF that a full set of teeth can get in the way and gums are TOTALLY the way to go....

    jus sayin

    Experience tells me that no teeth = very poor kegel musculature.
  • Posts: 1,031 Member
    You should get one with large hips so the baby falls right out of her. That way she won't have to stop washing dishes to lie down or anything. Just my two cents.
    This is a great peice of advice. Even with a dishwasher, she does not need all that time to lay around giving birth, slacking off on the other house work.
  • Posts: 2,096 Member
    tumblr_m8vmgwcZXF1r1rjkgo1_500.gif
  • Posts: 574 Member
    I birthed a 9.5lb baby in one push...
  • Posts: 1,270 Member
    I birthed a 9.5lb baby in one push...

    But do you like the outdoors?
  • Posts: 574 Member
    Yes, but not to birth the babies.
  • Posts: 574 Member
    Yes, but not to birth the babies.

    Maybe to make them.
  • Posts: 7,646 Member
    I birthed a 9.5lb baby in one push...
    Good push!
  • Posts: 1,392 Member
    I have child bearing hips and also 30DDD bewbs! and they real! ... do I win????:smokin:
  • Posts: 1,258 Member
    I have child bearing hips and also 30DDD bewbs! and they real! ... do I win????:smokin:

    YES
  • Posts: 231 Member
    You should just get a robot, that would work better with no worries.
  • Posts: 1,741 Member
    tumblr_ltvvfjiYw71qdbxx9.gif
  • Posts: 3,459 Member
    .
  • Posts: 1,270 Member
    I have child bearing hips and also 30DDD bewbs! and they real! ... do I win????:smokin:

    You're a strong candidate...do you squat and do dead lifts?
  • Posts: 818 Member
    I only have the hips and personality. Guess I'm out of the running.

    6fctw3.jpg <----SAD FACE
  • Posts: 469
    I have child bearing hips and also 30DDD bewbs! and they real! ... do I win????:smokin:

    any challengers?
  • Posts: 1,392 Member
    show previous quotes

    You're a strong candidate...do you squat and do dead lifts?
    lol I can.. but have not been lately... just starting to go back to gym :cry:
  • Posts: 1,270 Member
    show previous quotes
    lol I can.. but have not been lately... just starting to go back to gym :cry:

    Okay as long as you still have the muscle memory...I prefer that you birth while standing and squatting. No time to lay on your *kitten*.
  • Posts: 49 Member
    To funny :laugh:
  • Posts: 557 Member
    I have child bearing hips and also 30DDD bewbs! and they real! ... do I win????:smokin:
    How are your sammich making skills?
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