Sick of hearing it

You certainly have started quite a conversation with this topic. It obviously is something that we all have to deal with, on one end or the other. I must admit I did laugh in disbelief when I read your post. Like something you'd see in the movies, but not a family reunion. She definitely hit your hot spot. I'm curious, did you talk to her after that?

Love it! She had it coming and I bet there is more than one person who silently applauded you!

I often wonder if people even think for a second about what is coming out of their mouths.

Some of my favorites during my journey:
"Wow, congratulations! I didn't know you were expecting!" (I was NOT pregnant, just really fat")

"Hey you've lost weight - I bet you're almost out of the 200s huh" -- when has it ever been ok to discuss a woman's weight? And no I wasn't out of the 200s but I certainly wasn't going to correct them.

"That shirt is so cute, it is nice you can find fun clothes made for bigger girls". I should have said It's nice they make cute clothes for "B---chs"...

And now it's the comments about the weight loss:
"You look great, you know worked for my brother/mother/sister"...like I need help. You just said I look good, so I think what I'm doing is working fine.

"Don't lose anymore weight - if you're too thin the women at work will hate you" - if they hate me because I'm thin, I don't want their friendship.

"That's your lunch? (Turky wrap with hummus and sprouts) If that is healthy I would rather starve" - Hey, my lunch is none of your business. STFU. Or Starve. Either is fine.

"You're not eating enough - you're losing muscle -- you're excercising too much -- do more weights" All from what I call "arm chair losers" - they know all about weight loss, except they're 40 lbs or more overweight.

And my personal favorite. "I hope you'll still be nice to me when you're as skinny as the mean girls" - yes a professional work ennvironment, and the thin girls are mean. I will remember that one always, and be kind to all, no matter they're shape/size/

I try to just smile, eat another carrot, nod a lot, and don't get into deep conversations with people who are not on this same journey. But one of the these days I'm going to snap just like you did...

Awesome that you are working so hard on your outer appearance. Perhaps you should now do some self improvement on your inside. Those were ugly, hateful words that were meant to hurt somebody.

People always think things are easier for the other person. I am proud of you! I completely understand. I have a pretty decent job and get paid well. Certain people (like family) feel they need to point out how "lucky" I am. Luck had and has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with it. Could it be that the 10 years I spent in college and that I am a responsible consistent worker have something to do with it? I want to say to them "get off your lazy *kitten* and go back to school or work harder!!!" but I haven't yet. . . now maybe I will. Thanks for the inspiration!

Really? That simple of a comment gets you riled up? WOW! Forwarn future mates or too bad for your current one.

Hope everyone had a good Mother's Day. Today was a good day for me. Family gathered around that I haven't seen in a while complimenting me on the fact that I look thinner and trimmer which is always nice to hear.

So everyone's sitting around eating desserts. You know, cake, pie, peach cobbler, ice cream, and I'm behaving and having a banana. And then it happens, the one thing that really just pisses me off, an overweight family member points a fork at me with chocolate dripping off the end and says "it's so easy for men to lose weight".

I almost let it go, I was sooooo close! Rather than telling her it was not easy for me and that I work out everyday from 30 minutes to an hour plus and that I watch and log everything that I eat. But no I had to look at her and say something like "I guess you consider exercise getting up to get seconds on desert and using that fork to shove it in your face. If you'd get off your lazy fat *kitten*, quit *****ing about it, and put forth a little effort you might lose a little weight."

After that things were a bit awkward but I am so sick of hearing it.. It's hard for anyone to lose weight. Don't belittle my success by writing it off because I'm a guy.

Stepping off my soapbox now.

I almost let it go, I was sooooo close! Rather than telling her it was not easy for me and that I work out everyday from 30 minutes to an hour plus and that I watch and log everything that I eat. But no I had to look at her and say something like "I guess you consider exercise getting up to get seconds on desert and using that fork to shove it in your face. If you'd get off your lazy fat *kitten*, quit *****ing about it, and put forth a little effort you might lose a little weight."

Is it bad that I laughed? Whilst I don't support making people insecure about their bodies, that statement she made was really ignorant!

Really? That simple of a comment gets you riled up? WOW! Forwarn future mates or too bad for your current one

Personally I like the fact that my mate gets riled up sometimes, even if he doesn't handle every situation the same way I would.

I keep getting told that I'm "Lucky to have just bounced back after having a kid" when infact I haven't just bounced back... I've work very hard and it upsets me too when people think I'm just lucky.... I understand sometimes letting loose on people who belittle your hard work, good job sticking up for yourself though!

Really? You get "upset"? Because people have a different take on things or make routine (and not very interesting) observations about weigh loss? So if someone doesn't say the approved words about your accomplishment, you have the moral standing to "let loose" on them? Cheez, when did we all become such umbrage-taking delicate flowers?

Wait a second... Were you not the one giving the OP such a hard time for being rude to a female? Now you are being rude to a female? Kettle, meet pot...

I think you have me mixed up with someone else. I haven't said anything about male/female in this thread. The person I responded to happened to be woman, but her status as a "female" was immaterial. My comments apply to anyone (including the OP) who feels justified in letting loose on another person for (what I think are) fairly innocuous comments. And anyway, I apologized up thread for the tone of the post you've quoted.

ETA: I also happen to be a woman myself.

Okay, sorry for the misunderstanding. I thought you were someone else.. I have a hard time keeping all these quotes and posts straight.

bump

Yes, the woman was out of line, but so was the OP. Even though it worked out in the end, learning that so many of the people on this website are so willing to look down their noses at others, even though many of them were fat once and would likely have disliked being sneered on, has practically made me change my mind about joining this community. My older sister has always been thin and used to call me fat along with my parents, though, looking at pictures from this time, I was never really overweight. This made me feel like there was nothing I could do about my body and I was just made ugly. It wasn't until i was nearly actually overweight--I weighed 145 pounds in January--that I saw some old pictures and realized they were wrong. My older sister now has issues with being underweight, and despite the way she used to (and sometimes still does) treat me, I would never say something like, 'Eat a goddamn hamburger you scrawny *kitten* *****', because I know how painful these remarks can be. To see that so many members of this board are so spiteful practically makes me want to cancel my account.

Now I will read the 50% OUTRAGE 50% YOU GO posts contained herein. Popcorn thread this is!

I think it's more like 10% OUTRAGE, 90% YOU GO. That fact alone caused me to respond in the first place.

I didn't see any outrage. I saw maybe 5 people that were perplexed by it, didn't understand the degree of outrage the OP had. And the rest was "you go".

My response was perplexed. I guess you had to be there.

But, looks like it worked out for the Op, so I'm glad to hear that. They both perplex me. Probably because I've never gained a lot of weight. This whole thing is outside of my range of personal experience.

I've always worked hard at my fitness. But, people tell me I'm lucky. I take that as a compliment. Well, when they are talking about my body. In another context it may upset me, so I guess if I apply it to another circumstance then I can understand the feeling for sure!

I also think a little bit of chocolate cake now and then is ok.

Good for you getting started young. Try losing belly fat at 62. It never gets easier. The older you get, it seems to me, the harder it is to lose. Personally, I'm ready to perform self-liposuction! :grumble:

Not giving up though. Glad to see you are not either.

Lose a couple hundred pounds by kicking him/her out!

I'm happy you let her know about how you felt, but maybe you should have picked a different way of telling her. Sometimes people don't even realize the things they say hurt or offend. Having a calm discussion would have been better. She is a family member after all.