HELP! Should I date three more??

I say concentrate on your thigh gap while hitting 1200 calories....you know, the more important things in life \m/ :flowerforyou:

I'm ignoring the rude people and talking to people who are giving real information and advice. Pretty sure that's how you exchange ideas effectively in polite society.

I gave you real information and advice, as did many others in this thread that you didn't respond to. Those of us telling you that this relationship sounds seriously dangerous and wrong are not being rude, we are genuinely concerned. Many people here speak from personal experience, others from research. What most of us seem to agree on is that this relationship is NOT healthy, you could be in danger, and even if you weren't you're not mature enough to get married right now anyway.

But as you stated before, you're basically just looking for people to agree with you that you should stay with Chris... maybe next time don't post a topic asking for advice if you're just going to ignore the advice you don't want to hear.

First, I've gotten lots of advice from LOTS of people. Forgive me for not answering absolutely everything, but this thread is moving really fast, and I'm just trying to keep up. I never said those who offer negative opinions were rude. There were plenty of rude responses and I know the difference between straight up rudeness and just a difference of opinion.

Second, I appreciate everyone's advice and I'm planning to come back and pick through everything again later with a pro-con list.

Last, I never said I think I should stay with Chris. That's the reason I made this thread. So maybe outsiders could give me some perspective.

I say concentrate on your thigh gap while hitting 1200 calories....you know, the more important things in life \m/ :flowerforyou:

Thigh gap is so 2012. We're going for box gap now.

You still didn't answer the question.

Your family, you said you had pressure to have grandkids for your grandparents, thus the biological clock ticking. And yet they hate the guy you are with. What are your family members saying about Chris as to why they do not like him?

My grandparents don't like him because he's Korean. It doesn't matter to me, AT ALL, race makes no difference, but I guess the older generation doesn't see it that way. My parents try not to be, but I know it kind of affects their opinion also. :ohwell:

That is why I said they are kind of biased. Because Simon is white and they only want me to be with a white man or a Mexican man. Obviously I can't ask for advice from someone who is racially biased and it sucks, but it's the truth.

This is just my two cents, but I wouldn't believe a magazine so much. I mean, instead of dating three more men, who you may/may not like more than your current boyfriend, why would you not evaluate where you see yourself with him in the next few years? Do you really think you could see yourself having a family with him? Would he be able to support you through all walks of life, can he be your closest friend, can you trust him with all your heart? Sometimes, I know this is cheesy, it's not about the numbers, it's really about that feeling you get when you're with someone. If I were in your place, I'd reevaluate my position instead of jumping out on a limb (and thereby, in the process, risking your relationship with Chris- he seems to be really protective of you) and dating three more guys just because some magazine said it (and yes, I tend to think more with my brain than my heart like you ) Do what makes YOU happy, and what is good for you, not for anyone else (well except your future children duh xD).

Thank you for your input!!!!! :flowerforyou: I don't believe ALL the magazines, but Wired said it was from a study, so that's a science thing and I need to at leaste think about it from science's perspective.

Chris is really protective, I love that! I am so glad you know what it's like to think with your brain more than your heart and just do what makes you happy. You seem like a great person.:drinker:

This new guy throws up all kinds of red flags. Two months and he constantly checks in on you, gets jealous, wants to move you away from your family, your support group and make you his (essentially)? No ma'am. Throw in the fact that he magically was the one that put the seed of doubt in your mind with your relationship with Simon? Run. Run far away. Date 3 more, 100 more, but this guy is not good news and has serious trust issues with YOU instead of the other way around.

Honey, I know it is hard to see when you are so close to the situation and the relationship is still so new and wonderful feeling. But every ounce of logic speaks against staying with him. If you are logical in the very least sense, get out now.

I speak only from experience. I had a very very rough relationship once. I was trapped 600 miles away from my friends and family, none of whom liked my boyfriend in the first place. I was depressed, suicidal, lonely as hell even though I had a man who supposedly loved me and wanted us to be together forever.

They're good at telling you what you want to hear, but nothing else. Trust your family's judgement here.

Thank you for this message, I really appreciate it! :flowerforyou: I'm sorry you had to go through that. I just really want to make sure I am doing the right thing, and I know we're still in the honeymoon phase, but everyone doesn't have the same experience like you had, you know?

Well, I met my husband while I was in high school. I was 14. He was the 2nd boyfriend I had.

2 weeks after we met, he told me he was going to marry me. We were best friends and we genuinely felt drawn together.

We broke up and got back together when I was 17. We have been together ever since. It has been 11 years and we have never been happier.

I can see the advantage of dating around to get an idea of who you want to be with forever, but sometimes, (just sometimes) love steps in and makes the decision for you.
If I had chosen to "date around" I would have missed my soul mate and probably would have missed out on this incredible love that we share.

12??? 12??? I thought the magic number was 42!!!!!!!!!

Find a Soul Mate

There’s a probabilistic approach to finding the love of your life, and it even has a name: satisficing, a combination of satisfy and suffice. OK, technically, satisficing refers to getting a good enough outcome when you’re lacking complete information about your options. But isn’t dating like that? According to Peter Todd, professor of informatics and cognitive science at Indiana University, the question always comes down to this: “Do you keep searching and hope something better will come along, or do you stop searching when you find something that looks pretty good?”

In the face of this conundrum, the best strategy for picking a mate is to date enough people to establish some baseline standards, then settle down with the next person you meet who exceeds the bar. According to Todd, you should have a baseline after dating roughly 12 people. He’s dubbed this theory the Twelve-Bonk Rule, and it can also be applied to picking the right employee or choosing a home. So, if you’ve dated fewer than 12 people, you should feel free to keep looking. If you’ve had 30 relationships, odds are you’re being too picky. Quit obsessing over your new paramour’s dorky laugh.—Judy Dutton