HELP! Should I date three more??
Options
Replies
-
You're pretty.
Love it!0 -
I think you've all been had.
I had that same thought, but it's like a train wreck, I can't stop watching.
0 -
Date a insecure control freak for two months and ask if you should get married/move/have children or bang out 3 more dudes?
Yeah, you are a keeper!
Talk about the rudeness. Most people here haven't been rude to me, but you are definitely a keeper yourself.0 -
Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships
EXTREME JEALOUSY
Jealousy is a sign of insecurity and lack of trust, but the abuser will say that it is a sign of love. The abuser will question the victim about who they talk to, accuse them of flirting, or be jealous of time spent with their friends, family, or children. The abuser may refuse to let the victim work or go to school for fear of meeting someone else. The abuser may call the victim frequently or drop by unexpectedly. The abuser may accuse the victim of flirting with someone else or having an affair.
Check - But it's so adorable - it means he CARES for me!
CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR
One partner completely rules the relationship and makes the decisions. This includes “checking up” on the victim, timing a victim when they leave the house, checking the odometer on the car, questioning the victim about where they go. They may also check the victim’s cell phone for call history, their email or website history. The abuser may control the finances and tries to tell the victim how to dress, who to talk to, and where to go.
Check - but it means he cares and loves me!
QUICK INVOLVEMENT
The abuser comes on strong at the beginning of the relationship, pressuring for a commitment and claims “Love at first sight” or “You’re the only person I could ever talk to”, or “I never met anyone like you before”. Often, in the beginning of a relationship, the abuser is very charming and romantic and the love is intense.
Check - move away with me and let's get married. Who cares if it's only been 2 months?
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
Abusers expect their partners to meet all their needs and be “perfect”. They may say things like “If you love me, then I’m all you need”.
Not enough info from OP, but I suspect you can check this one off the list also.
ISOLATION
The abuser tries to keep the victim from friends and family by putting down everyone the victim knows, including their family and friends. They may keep the victim from going to work or school.
Check - move away with me, away from your family, friends, job, etc
BLAMES OTHERS FOR THEIR PROBLEMS AND FEELINGS
The abuser does not take responsibility for their problems, blaming others (usually the victim) for almost everything (“you made me mad”).
HYPERSENSITIVITY
An abuser is easily insulted and takes everything as a personal attack and blows things out of proportion.
CRUELTY TO ANIMALS OR CHILDREN
The abuser may punish animals brutally or be insensitive to their pain. They may have unfair expectations of children or tease them until they cry.
“PLAYFUL” USE OF FORCE IN SEX
The abuser may throw or hold their partner down during sex, may pressure their partner into having sex, may demand sex when their partner is tired or ill or doesn’t want to have sex. They may ask the victim to do things they do not want to do.
VERBAL ABUSE
The abuser says cruel and harmful things to their victim, degrades them, curses at them, calls them names, or puts down their accomplishments. The abuser tells their victims they are stupid, and unable to function without them. They embarrass and put down the victim in front of others as well.
RIGID SEX ROLES
The abuser believes in rigid gender roles and sees women as inferior to men and unable to have their own identity. They may see men as the “master of his castle”.
DR. JECKYL AND MR. HYDE
The abuser experiences severe mood swings and the victim may think the abuser has a mental health problem. One minute they can be charming and sweet and the next minute they become angry and explosive. Explosiveness and moodiness are typical of people who beat their partners.
PAST BATTERING
The abuser has a history of past battering of partners and although they may admit to that, they say their previous partner provoked them to do it. A batterer will beat any partner they are with if the person is with them long enough for the violence to begin; situational circumstances do not cause a person to have an abusive relationship.
THREATS OF VIOLENCE
This includes any threat or physical force meant to control the victim: “I’ll kill you”, “I’ll break your neck”, “If you ever leave, I’ll kill you.”
BREAKING OR STRIKING OBJECTS
This behavior is used as a punishment (breaking treasured possessions), but is mostly used to terrorize the victim into submission. The abuser may break or strike objects near the victim to frighten them.
ANY FORCE DURING AN ARGUMENT
The abuser may hold the victim down, restrain them from leaving the room, may push, shove, or hold them against a wall.
HEY, only 5 out of 15 indicator of an abusive relationship. Yep, he's a real keeper.0 -
I agree with your family, I don't like Chris either.
If Chris is checking up on you while you are just dating, it'll only get worse. He sounds rather controlling.0 -
I think chris deserves you ....
wouldnt want you upsetting any more men being as you re waiting for a twelth to mug off...
I am not trying to be snarky, but seriously... WHA?0 -
You say you checked, but you originally told us you found no proof.I absolutely didn't just take Chris's word for it! That would be stupid! I checked, but I found myself doubting Simon all the time, so I couldn't keep on like that.
I'm glad your journey has become happier.
So if you found out that he did, and it wasn't just Chris' word, then you should have some proof that he did cheat on you.
Or is the only evidence you have Chris' word, but because that put a seed of doubt in your head, along with the reminders from Chris, that's what caused you to break up because you said that you broke up with Simon because 'someone' told you that he cheated on you.
So which is it? You have proof beyond Chris' word (and your own doubts), or you don't?0 -
I absolutely didn't just take Chris's word for it! That would be stupid! I checked, but I found myself doubting Simon all the time, so I couldn't keep on like that.
Holy smokes! That's incontrovertible proof!
I apologize for my snarky response earlier. I originally thought you were kind of a b!tch for dumping Simon, who looks completely innocent. But now I see what an creepy *kitten* that guy is.0 -
You say you checked, but you originally told us you found no proof.I absolutely didn't just take Chris's word for it! That would be stupid! I checked, but I found myself doubting Simon all the time, so I couldn't keep on like that.
I'm glad your journey has become happier.
So if you found out that he did, and it wasn't just Chris' word, then you should have some proof that he did cheat on you.
Or is the only evidence you have Chris' word, but because that put a seed of doubt in your head, along with the reminders from Chris, that's what caused you to break up because you said that you broke up with Simon because 'someone' told you that he cheated on you.
So which is it? You have proof beyond Chris' word (and your own doubts), or you don't?
Girls just know things. Get with the program.0 -
You're pretty.
Love it!
The OP reminds me of Daniela Ruah of NCIS Los Angeles.
Summing up - Simon wasn't the one, Chris ain't the one. Take some time to learn who you are.0 -
You have GOT to be kidding. If not, you're since of what a good relationship is is totally warped. Good luck honey, you need it.
I admitted I am bad at relationships. This is not very supportive.
may not be supportive, but Chris sounds like a wack job...have fun in your disaster of a relationship. If you're that analytical, then you should see the red flags all over the place! and it's bad that you're dating your ex's friend, totally inconsiderate of you.
THIS! This Chris guy is not trustworthy if he's willing to convince you to break up with your ex and then start dating him.
You seem gullible and nieve. More so than I would think from someone who's dating 9 other men in the past.
Wait, are you just giving us the plot lines from some soap opera (or Novela) you've been watching? Teen Mom maybe?
Wow. Just wow. There's a lot of racism here. Did you just say Novela because I am brown? I mean, I know what they are but that's kind of rude. :noway:
And I don't watch Teen Mom (or other reality TV) or soap operas/telenovelas.0 -
I am with Christ.
I mean Chris
Now that's funny.0 -
I'm sorry, I have not read the entire thread of replies but am I the only freaking person who thinks there's something weird about the fact that you didn't even talk to your ex or have any proof he was sleeping around but take one of his friends word on it and then a couple of months later you are dating said friend who is really jealous and wants to marry you and take you away from where you live?
Next you're going to tell me he keeps bloody tarps and a shovel by the back porch.0 -
Ergh here was me thinking this thread was a joke......0
-
Usually if your friends and family don't like a guy, there's a good reason for it. If not one of them likes Chris, its a huge red flag!0
-
You say you checked, but you originally told us you found no proof.I absolutely didn't just take Chris's word for it! That would be stupid! I checked, but I found myself doubting Simon all the time, so I couldn't keep on like that.
I'm glad your journey has become happier.
So if you found out that he did, and it wasn't just Chris' word, then you should have some proof that he did cheat on you.
Or is the only evidence you have Chris' word, but because that put a seed of doubt in your head, along with the reminders from Chris, that's what caused you to break up because you said that you broke up with Simon because 'someone' told you that he cheated on you.
So which is it? You have proof beyond Chris' word (and your own doubts), or you don't?
I said I checked and found no proof. That doesn't mean it didn't happen, it means he just didn't leave tracks. OR maybe he was totally innocent, again, I can't be sure. But that's why I had to break up with him: I couldn't be sure and the not knowing was really killing me.0 -
Pretty sure this is a troll thread.
Future victim is picking fights instead of taking any advice whatsoever.
ABANDON THREAD.0 -
Usually if your friends and family don't like a guy, there's a good reason for it. If not one of them likes Chris, its a huge red flag!
The reason is they're jealous of her ability to score such an awesome mate. This is obvious.
When family rejects your choice of partner, it means you've found a winner who is out of your league. You have to hold onto him like your life depends on it.0 -
Seriously, my mother always told me that if there is ANY doubt about what you want to do, the answer is no. In addition to that, you may find being checked up on amusing and charming now, but it sounds like he has jealous tendencies, and in a marriage that is not amusing or sweet. It will only get worse. I think you need to date ATLEAST three more before you settle down. 26 is not really old enough to "need" to settle down. Best of luck to you.0
-
Pretty sure this is a troll thread.
Future victim is picking fights instead of taking any advice whatsoever.
ABANDON THREAD.
I agree..0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392K Introduce Yourself
- 43.6K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.7K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 402 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.9K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.4K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 997 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.4K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions