Infidelity & MFP - What Gives?

I agree with you in that people's conduct online should be such that they wouldn't be uncomfortable saying those things in front of their spouse in real life.

Really, though . . . this is the internet. Have you ever read the comments section below any news story, video, editorial, etc.? All sorts of people come out of the woodwork. Concerning yourself with their morality is very overwhelming and not likely to be productive!

Your example of the one, single, sole, only, uno, solitary, lone, particular friend is anectodal at best. It's ONE person who confided in you. Your response to this was to immediately run to the forums and spill it all for the entire community.

What does that say about your character when it comes to being a confidant?


My marriage is my marriage. We like to goof off on the internet sometimes. Usually we're sitting within close proximity to each other when we're goofing off. If someone sends him something inappropriate, whatever. He's an attractive guy and the women can't help themselves from fawning. If they fawn a little too much, I put up a bikini pic or a leg pic and we compare notes. Honestly, whatever.

I came here to find dirty housewives to have hot affairs with. Talk about about a misleading thread title. :grumble:

I came to save the thread........I'm here love. (but I do work outside of the home. Do you still want to do me?)
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I appreciate the effort. I will make an exception.

Some seems to cross the line - and I agree there have been things on here that I know stem from people who have been overweight and underappreciated for a long time. Eventually they will get their self-confidence back and as they thin down and hopefully with that some self-respect.
Unfortunately a lot of people who are overweight don't have self- respect because of the way they are treated by society and when they get thinner tend to act very wildly because now they are more interesting to the opposite sex (or same sex for that matter). I am older than a lot of the MFP membership so I speak from experience. I have seen this among friends and co-workers for decades. I think it is just what I hope to be part of the healing process.
The downside is that it can also end up defeating the second part of the healing. Acting wild and crazy can stunt the gaining of self-respect and lead to a lifestyle where they may even end up gaining all the weight back because of the lack of self-respect.
I know no one will listen to me - but I am going to say it anyway - get thin, get healthy and treat your body with the respect it deserves by not only the food you eat and the exercise you get but also in your relationships or lack there of. You don't want to be a number, you don't want to be a notch on someone's belt. You want to be cherished and you are deserving of being cherished for the wonderful beautiful people you are.

Call me old-fashioned, but I think it is inappropriate to put your feet on your desk.

LOL!

For all the "it's none of your business" people, she's asking a question. If you don't want to answer it, then don't answer it, but don't be the Curiosity Police. Good Lord.

...
So, the question is....Do married people on here view the flirting, sexting, etc as something other than cheating? Am I the only one who feels this is a little off the rails of what marriage should look like?

Thanks,
Becky

I love this thread!

I agree with you in that people's conduct online should be such that they wouldn't be uncomfortable saying those things in front of their spouse in real life.

Really, though . . . this is the internet. Have you ever read the comments section below any news story, video, editorial, etc.? All sorts of people come out of the woodwork. Concerning yourself with their morality is very overwhelming and not likely to be productive!

Your example of the one, single, sole, only, uno, solitary, lone, particular friend is anectodal at best. It's ONE person who confided in you. Your response to this was to immediately run to the forums and spill it all for the entire community.

What does that say about your character when it comes to being a confidant?


My marriage is my marriage. We like to goof off on the internet sometimes. Usually we're sitting within close proximity to each other when we're goofing off. If someone sends him something inappropriate, whatever. He's an attractive guy and the women can't help themselves from fawning. If they fawn a little too much, I put up a bikini pic or a leg pic and we compare notes. Honestly, whatever.

fwiw I find you far sexier than him...

A lot of what you see is probably a bunch of friends goofing around with full disclosure to their SO, and shouldn't be taken so seriously. There probably are people who cross the line but I'd bet that's the exception, not the rule.

Didn't need to read the next 8-9 pages because this comment could have ended the thread.

I read the 8-9 pages... couldn't help myself.

I cant say that I've seen infidelity in the forums/among my friends (but I also dont normally peruse this "chit-chat" forum because I dont find most of the topics beneficial to my weight loss journey). With that being said, I respect my husband and our marriage so I dont entertain ANY conversations that (1) I wouldnt want him to have with other women and (2) that I would NOT have in his presence.

A thousand times yes.

In my time here, I've witnessed a fair amount of dating, canvasing, flirting, propositioning, attention seeking, etc (whatever you want to call it - in it's many shades) among married people. Tho single, I've been married and and have full respect for the institution (forgive the pun).

I know every marriage makes it's own rules and that is fine; however, I don't think the majority of these situations involve swingers nor "open" relationships. Call me old-fashioned but if it walks like a duck, it's a duck. If it feels like something that should be hidden from one's significant other, then it's probably cheating in one form or another, right? If I were married, there's no way I would behave in any way that would give my spouse any reason to feel uncomfortable or even raise an eyebrow.

I guess I understand people on here regaining their health & fitness (getting their sexy back to a degree) but the infidelity seems to run rampant and it's discouraging to those of us (me) who truly view marriage as something in which one should hold their trust. So, the question is....Do married people on here view the flirting, sexting, etc as something other than cheating? Am I the only one who feels this is a little off the rails of what marriage should look like?

Thanks,
Becky

^^^Judgy McJudgy Pants ^^^

I AGREE ....

I don't understand how chatting online is infidelity? We're just trying to have fun and joke around with our online buddies. Losing weight is hard, we could all use a laugh!

Not what I'm referring to.....but....oh, forget it. Meh

I'm sorry I had KIK sex with your husband. Can't we just move forward now??

My wife is on my friends list!

You think banter on a website constitutes what exactly??????

Nope, not talking about banter. Talking about the half dozen examples in my time here I know about in which they PM'd all night, propositioned one another, spouses didn't know they were on here, lead to phone calls, KIK, sexting, etc....

WOW - infidelity is running rampant on MFP. Six (yes, 6) cases of infidelity in almost a year, with 100's of 1000's of active MFP members. Someone outta shut this cesspool of immorality down!