Serious Question for MILFS (pics)

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  • bmiller211
    bmiller211 Posts: 222 Member
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    Never. But that's just my opinion.

    This. I have two children, now 15 and 10. I never "harnessed" them or put them on a leash. I held their hands or put them in a stroller or a cart. My honest opinion? It's dehumanizing and lazy. And, I'm not trying to offend, I'm just giving you an opinion...something we all have and which was asked for by the OP.
    I so agree with the lazy part...when we were raising our children(25 and 21) they were available but we chose not to use them and most of that reason was we felt we would be lazy if we did. I see people with the kids at the end of the leash while they are looking in store window etc. and totally ignoring the child. We didn't want to be those kind of parents and we felt the best way to do that was to always be engaged with our children when they were with us. This also included family gatherings etc. where we would be called the cruise directors cause we were always with the kids...all the kids while the other parents sat and drank and socialized. Just my opinion and everyone has their own way!!
  • sc10985
    sc10985 Posts: 347 Member
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    I would NEVER put a leash on my child. And why is this question for "MILFS"?? That doesn't even make sense.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    I'm stepping out of this, glad once again that I don't live in the United States.

    I dont think it's a UK vs. US thing like I said my Grandma has to leash my Mom up in the good ol' US of A so she wouldn't bolt almost 60 years ago.

    that's good to know.
  • don666car
    don666car Posts: 167 Member
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    I SAY USE IT TILL THIER 18
  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
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    Personally, I wouldn't use one and don't really like them. However, I can understand that there are some circumstances where it might be necessary depending on the child. My sister took her 2 sons to Disney when they were 2 and 4 without leashes and had no problems, but that doesn't mean that every child will behave the same way. I think some people may overuse them to avoid dealing with actually teaching their children proper behavior. By no means is that the case for all "leash users" or even the majority though.

    tl;dr - If it keeps your kid safe while you're working with them to learn proper behavior, go for it. Just because I (or really anyone else) don't like them doesn't mean anything; I'm not the parent of your children. You do you.


    ETA: Why the heck is this thread for MILFs?????
  • plynn54
    plynn54 Posts: 912 Member
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    I don't see anything wrong with it, just as long as you dont leave the baby tied to a tree while you go in to a bar lol
  • baileybiddles
    baileybiddles Posts: 457 Member
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    Never. But that's just my opinion.

    This. I have two children, now 15 and 10. I never "harnessed" them or put them on a leash. I held their hands or put them in a stroller or a cart. My honest opinion? It's dehumanizing and lazy. And, I'm not trying to offend, I'm just giving you an opinion...something we all have and which was asked for by the OP.
    I so agree with the lazy part...when we were raising our children(25 and 21) they were available but we chose not to use them and most of that reason was we felt we would be lazy if we did. I see people with the kids at the end of the leash while they are looking in store window etc. and totally ignoring the child. We didn't want to be those kind of parents and we felt the best way to do that was to always be engaged with our children when they were with us. This also included family gatherings etc. where we would be called the cruise directors cause we were always with the kids...all the kids while the other parents sat and drank and socialized. Just my opinion and everyone has their own way!!

    I actually sort of agree with the laziness factor here. It is HARD work to keep an eye on your kid at all times. It's much easier to strap them into a harness and look when you feel it tug. I'm certainly not saying that all people who use harnesses do this, but I feel that many parents do see it as an easier way to handle the kid and not as a necessary safety precaution.
  • miadhail
    miadhail Posts: 383 Member
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    No offence to those who actually use these, but I have always been against these children-leash things. So no, no children-leashes for me :)
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    Never. But that's just my opinion.

    This. I have two children, now 15 and 10. I never "harnessed" them or put them on a leash. I held their hands or put them in a stroller or a cart. My honest opinion? It's dehumanizing and lazy. And, I'm not trying to offend, I'm just giving you an opinion...something we all have and which was asked for by the OP.
    I so agree with the lazy part...when we were raising our children(25 and 21) they were available but we chose not to use them and most of that reason was we felt we would be lazy if we did. I see people with the kids at the end of the leash while they are looking in store window etc. and totally ignoring the child. We didn't want to be those kind of parents and we felt the best way to do that was to always be engaged with our children when they were with us. This also included family gatherings etc. where we would be called the cruise directors cause we were always with the kids...all the kids while the other parents sat and drank and socialized. Just my opinion and everyone has their own way!!

    you can have a child in reins and engage with them at the same time. The two things are not mutually exclusive. You can also wrap them around your wrist, then hold the child's hand. You can teach them road safety and all sorts as you walk with them. However, should that child suddenly dash in the direction of the wheels of a large truck, they won't get as far as the trucks wheels before you can stop them. That's the difference.

    Personally, I used them anywhere that there was a danger, e.g. walking by a busy road, by water etc. I didn't use them in the mall so much, apart from at the very beginning when they first learned to walk, aged around 15 months or so, because if they fall the reins kinds of catches them. But if they dash off in the mall you can run and grab them, but if they dash off next to a busy road or if you're walking by a river, well, it's not a risk I would want to take.
  • alasin1derland
    alasin1derland Posts: 575 Member
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    My mom got one for my son when she was at the mall with him and he got away on her. I was fine with it. I don't think of them as a restriction. Holding hands they are restricted to the length of your arm. In a stroller they can only view the world. With these they can walk and explore, lean down and pick up a bug if they want. The kids don't notice it and it gives them freedom. I can't for the life of me think what could possibly make them cruel in any way. Freedom and safety at the same time. I have never understood why some people feel so strongly against them. Use it or don't. Who cares. I give them 2 thumbs up.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    I SAY USE IT TILL THIER 18
    18- when they turn into kids that sit on the computer all the live long day and your husband says they can if they want because they are "18 now and their own person and make their own decisions"

    my 19 yr old is like that, but has dads SKINNY GENES at least

    but my 18 yr old (how spent plenty of time being help or in the stroller because he was a bolter) still climbs trees, makes tanks out of balsa wood and has battles. uses his jumping Stilts, etc....
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller. and if they are defiant kids than some discipline needs to be done and they also need to HIGHLY taught of the dangers of "bolting" away from mommy OR daddy.
    IF your child is Autistic then placing them on a leash isnt going to do much but upset them more... Put them in a stroller with seat belts...
    I think children are human, not canine, and (with intelligent enough parents) are capable of being taught not to run off. If they are not old enough to be taught not to run off, they are probably not old enough to walk very long distances anyway and should either be carried or in a stroller....Children also have hands, not paws, that can be held when walking places.
    If the child is running off they are clearly not getting appropriate discipline and teachings from the parent. My daughter not allowed to leave the house without holding our hands They ignored She has ignored me on a few occasion to test me, and we went home. period. Eventually she got it.. and how dangerous it is out...

    A leash for a chid is not the answer because it is only temporarily solving the problem it is not teaching the child anything. The child needs to be free to walk in order to teach safety, and right from wrong.



    AND the reason we put them on our dogs is cause ITS THE LAW!!!! I have 2 large German Shepherds, both which I have trained very well, they are OFF leash trained and walk by my side 100% of the time, and aren't distracted by anything... BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAINED/taught AND DISCIPLINED! .I would love to walk them off leash BUT the law says i cant!

    better hold on tight to the reigns of that high horse of yours. It's a long way down.
  • TheFinalThird
    TheFinalThird Posts: 315 Member
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    We raised three boys each about 14 months younger than the one preceding. Thus, at one point, they were 5, 4, and 3. We never used the leash-type thingies. But I do not begrudge anyone else the right to do differently.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    Never. But that's just my opinion.

    This. I have two children, now 15 and 10. I never "harnessed" them or put them on a leash. I held their hands or put them in a stroller or a cart. My honest opinion? It's dehumanizing and lazy. And, I'm not trying to offend, I'm just giving you an opinion...something we all have and which was asked for by the OP.
    I so agree with the lazy part...when we were raising our children(25 and 21) they were available but we chose not to use them and most of that reason was we felt we would be lazy if we did. I see people with the kids at the end of the leash while they are looking in store window etc. and totally ignoring the child. We didn't want to be those kind of parents and we felt the best way to do that was to always be engaged with our children when they were with us. This also included family gatherings etc. where we would be called the cruise directors cause we were always with the kids...all the kids while the other parents sat and drank and socialized. Just my opinion and everyone has their own way!!

    I actually sort of agree with the laziness factor here. It is HARD work to keep an eye on your kid at all times. It's much easier to strap them into a harness and look when you feel it tug. I'm certainly not saying that all people who use harnesses do this, but I feel that many parents do see it as an easier way to handle the kid and not as a necessary safety precaution.

    but isn't, like some have said on this thread "if they are likely to bolt, they should be in a stroller" just as lazy?

    What are you suggesting? When your 1-2 year old child is too young to understand the dangers of traffic, that you'd have no safeguard at all? just your own interaction with them, like warning a child that young not to run in the road and expecting them to listen? Or would you have them in a stroller (that would be just as lazy as reins, if not more so because you just have to push them...... you can't actually get anywhere if your child is going crazy on the end of reins, you actually do have to teach them to walk next to you unless you just want to stand around while they run circles around you)....?

    IMO it's no easier to control a child when they're wearing reins than when they're not. The only difference is if they're wearing them, they can't get as far as the wheels of a motor vehicle before you can stop them.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    I have a 9 year old and a 2 year old, never used one with either of them, I put my daughter in the stroller and go. My son is old enough to listen.
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
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    I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller. and if they are defiant kids than some discipline needs to be done and they also need to HIGHLY taught of the dangers of "bolting" away from mommy OR daddy.
    IF your child is Autistic then placing them on a leash isnt going to do much but upset them more... Put them in a stroller with seat belts...
    I think children are human, not canine, and (with intelligent enough parents) are capable of being taught not to run off. If they are not old enough to be taught not to run off, they are probably not old enough to walk very long distances anyway and should either be carried or in a stroller....Children also have hands, not paws, that can be held when walking places.
    If the child is running off they are clearly not getting appropriate discipline and teachings from the parent. My daughter not allowed to leave the house without holding our hands They ignored She has ignored me on a few occasion to test me, and we went home. period. Eventually she got it.. and how dangerous it is out...

    A leash for a chid is not the answer because it is only temporarily solving the problem it is not teaching the child anything. The child needs to be free to walk in order to teach safety, and right from wrong.



    AND the reason we put them on our dogs is cause ITS THE LAW!!!! I have 2 large German Shepherds, both which I have trained very well, they are OFF leash trained and walk by my side 100% of the time, and aren't distracted by anything... BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAINED/taught AND DISCIPLINED! .I would love to walk them off leash BUT the law says i cant!


    Hmmm, I think our children are very different from each other :laugh:

    Mine had more brains then sense. By the time they were 1 and could walk, they were working on figuring out how to get out of their car seats and stroller harnesses. And they could problem solve their way out. Of course, their mother (me) figured out how to unscrew the screen window in her bedroom and sneak out - at 2 years old. So, it shouldn't be too big of a shock.

    One of my kids is on the autism spectrum, part of what that meant for him is that he didn't know the difference between what could just cause a little injury, and a "dead thing". That was my job as a parent, until he could work it out.

    Yes, children can be taught. But, there is an in between time when they are learning, but yet are incredibly fast and lacking in any kind of sense of danger. They are children, not robots.
  • Beckyloo80
    Beckyloo80 Posts: 1,088 Member
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    I've never used one on either of my kids. My kids are 7 and 3, both very good at holding hands with me or daddy (or the adult they are with). Both know the dangers of the street, they can walk a bit ahead of me and dad, and know to stop at a street or ally and wait for a grown up.

    It's personal opinion, but I don't like the harnessing idea. I'd much rather teach my kids about how to act when walking without walking them like a dog....

    To each their own though, do what works for you

    Unless it comes to an animal! Dogs should be walked on leashes and NOT CARRIED OR PUSHED IN A 'DOG STROLLER"... just sayin =)
  • Flab2fitfi
    Flab2fitfi Posts: 1,349 Member
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    I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller.

    Sorry but no. They should be walking for the good of their health. The USA has a childhood obesity crisis, yet you want to confine kids to strollers until they're old enough to learn to walk without reins? How ridiculous. How are they going to learn road safety if they're in a stroller? With reins, they can walk from as soon as they're able to walk, get strong legs, learn road sense, and it's a lot easier to teach your child to hold your hand, stop at the kerb, not run away, and all the rest, if they're on reins. Can you teach them that in a stroller? The answer is you can't. However you can teach them that if they're on reins. They learn that while they're a toddler and by the time they're 3-4, they'll not only be able to be trusted to walk next to you, hold your hand, stop at the kerb, understand road safety, they'll also have really strong legs.

    I regularly went on long walks with my parents as a small child, at 5 I walked 8km one time. Do you really think I could have done that if my parents had had me in a stroller? No. I was on reins as soon as I could walk.

    Glad someone else answered that with a sensible answer.

    Can I just askthat If my child is a bolter HOW are they ever going to learn about road safely if they are strapped into a buggy. What should I do once they out grow a pushchair? Are you offering to push them around for me>

    My eldest has autism and was a bolter. If we always took him out in a pushchair he would have never learnt road safety. He would wear a wrist strap in case he bolted (which would happen) but after a long rime he learnt the 'rules' and now at 13 can safely cross roads etc. I'm not a lazy or bad parent but I had to put my son safety first.

    I also have 3 other children and my as I said above I use a harness with my youngest as she also has issues. The other two were very quick to pick up that they had to hold your hand etc and I never needed a harness with them.
  • kts3639
    kts3639 Posts: 188 Member
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    I will be getting a harness for my 2 year old for when I travel back to Michigan to visit my family. I have a 6 month old as well. I will be flying by myself with both of them. I have flown with the 2 year old 5 times since she has been born, and believe me, having multiple layovers and having to navigate through large, busy airports is scary. Now that I will be doing it, alone again, with 2 littles, you can bet your @ss my little girl is going to have a harness on. I can't imagine what I would do if something happened to her.

    And no, a stroller isn't an option. Trust me, I have tried literally everything when travelling with my daughter, even one of those straps that attaches the car seat to a carry-on piece of luggage making it so that the child can sit in the car seat and roll with the luggage. All the things are too large and cumbersome with one child, let alone two children. My kids safety is way more important to me than anything else.
  • Beckyloo80
    Beckyloo80 Posts: 1,088 Member
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    I never used one nore will I ever!! IF your child is a "bolter" then they shouldn't be walking around. They should be in a stroller. and if they are defiant kids than some discipline needs to be done and they also need to HIGHLY taught of the dangers of "bolting" away from mommy OR daddy.
    IF your child is Autistic then placing them on a leash isnt going to do much but upset them more... Put them in a stroller with seat belts...
    I think children are human, not canine, and (with intelligent enough parents) are capable of being taught not to run off. If they are not old enough to be taught not to run off, they are probably not old enough to walk very long distances anyway and should either be carried or in a stroller....Children also have hands, not paws, that can be held when walking places.
    If the child is running off they are clearly not getting appropriate discipline and teachings from the parent. My daughter not allowed to leave the house without holding our hands They ignored She has ignored me on a few occasion to test me, and we went home. period. Eventually she got it.. and how dangerous it is out...

    A leash for a chid is not the answer because it is only temporarily solving the problem it is not teaching the child anything. The child needs to be free to walk in order to teach safety, and right from wrong.



    AND the reason we put them on our dogs is cause ITS THE LAW!!!! I have 2 large German Shepherds, both which I have trained very well, they are OFF leash trained and walk by my side 100% of the time, and aren't distracted by anything... BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAINED/taught AND DISCIPLINED! .I would love to walk them off leash BUT the law says i cant!


    Hmmm, I think our children are very different from each other :laugh:

    Mine had more brains then sense. By the time they were 1 and could walk, they were working on figuring out how to get out of their car seats and stroller harnesses. And they could problem solve their way out. Of course, their mother (me) figured out how to unscrew the screen window in her bedroom and sneak out - at 2 years old. So, it shouldn't be too big of a shock.

    One of my kids is on the autism spectrum, part of what that meant for him is that he didn't know the difference between what could just cause a little injury, and a "dead thing". That was my job as a parent, until he could work it out.

    Yes, children can be taught. But, there is an in between time when they are learning, but yet are incredibly fast and lacking in any kind of sense of danger. They are children, not robots.

    ^^ all children are different. I agree with the above. You need to do what is right for you and your child. Just because we all don't agree doesn't mean you are doing the wrong thing when it comes to your kids =)

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