Spa owner yells at Mom of Autistic child-Facebook Firestorm

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  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    Autism is irrelevant in what I am talking about. If your child has autism that doesn't make it excusable for you to just sit back, relax and let them run around raising hell and bothering everyone else in a restaurant, theatre, etc.

    Who said anything about letting children run around raising hell and bothering others as being ok?
  • aletadiana
    aletadiana Posts: 54
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    Many people I could quote, but instead I will just say I totally agree, Children need to learn to behave and learn the rules of society, or else they might grow up to be the type of person that berates a mother and embarrasses her in front of other people, even though she is supposed to be a business woman who own a SPA that promotes rest, relaxation and balance. Or they could grow up to be someone who goes on internet forums and tells everyone else that you are wrong and they are right. We are seeing such EXCELLENT examples of people who behave well in society in this conversation :laugh: . We definitely need more parents and adults like those commenting and defending poor behaviors of adults setting examples for children of how to behave appropriately in society.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    I'm getting the feeling this was basically a hyped up overpriced run of the mill beauty salon whose owner has zero business sense. Tedious and unfortunate.
    Agreed. I believe I opened with, given the information provided...sounds like a lot of information was left out and/or possibly exaggerated.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    This was kinda what I was thinking too... we have a ton of places with "Spa" in their name that are just glorified beauty salons... little to do with an actual "Spa"
    I Googled the spa and took a virtual tour. Doesn't look all that "upscale" to me, nor do the prices seem to indicate it is "upscale".
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    I'm just glad I don't encounter some of you at Target early Saturday morning. Because I most definitely let my child "run" around Target when there is virtually no one there.... She isn't misbehaving (as in tearing the place up or screaming like a banshee) but she isn't in the little (and very dirty) cart seat either.
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    as a former hairdresser who worked in a spa I can say I've seen young children come in and freak out over getting their hair cut. We would simply explain to the parents that maybe they should try again another time. We always did a test run with small children especially if it was their first hair cut. We also never charged for that test run. After all, we would be lucky to cut any hair at all on some of them. As a hair stylist you work as fast as you can to get the kids cuts done and and get them out of there. Most of the time your busy chasing the little head around as they squirm in their parents lap. The owner IMHO over reacted and could have handled it better.

    I used to joke around with the little ones and had puppets and stuffed toys to help distract them. Sometimes I would do mom or dads hair first and then the little ones were ready and eager for their turn. Its always a case to case basis but to yell at the parents is not good and doesn't help the situation.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,523 Member
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    Dang I wasn't the 247 post.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • aimforhealthy
    aimforhealthy Posts: 449 Member
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    This was kinda what I was thinking too... we have a ton of places with "Spa" in their name that are just glorified beauty salons... little to do with an actual "Spa"
    I Googled the spa and took a virtual tour. Doesn't look all that "upscale" to me, nor do the prices seem to indicate it is "upscale".
    wineplease (I'm laughing so hard at your username, it's so cute) we are one, as I'm doing the same thing. It is literally a low to mid scale beauty salon with a few manicure tables and some waxing services. There's nothing upscale about it. The news service reporting on this probably threw that in to create a little sensationalism and balance.

    Becuase it wouldn't have had the same "controversial edge" if the headline said "Delusional and Cranky Owner of Glorified Supercuts Has Meltdown at Mother of Toddler She Knew Had Autism" would it? :)
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    wineplease (I'm laughing so hard at your username, it's so cute) we are one, as I'm doing the same thing. It is literally a low to mid scale beauty salon with a few manicure tables and some waxing services. There's nothing upscale about it. The news service reporting on this probably threw that in to create a little sensationalism and balance.
    Becuase it wouldn't have had the same "controversial edge" if the headline said "Delusional and Cranky Owner of Glorified Supercuts Has Meltdown at Mother of Toddler She Knew Had Autism" would it? :)

    :drinker:
  • Jsnuggles
    Jsnuggles Posts: 33
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    Meanwhile, hundreds of kids are dying of starvation and AIDS - but who cares - they're not on Facebook.

    lol so true

    I see way too many 'likes for ______ disease I have and will die soon' posts. I see so many posts using children who are in terrible situations to garner 'likes' that it makes me sick. Instead of liking a post how about people send money to a foundation that helps those children. Oh wait, that is more work than clicking once on a computer screen.
  • moosegt35
    moosegt35 Posts: 1,296 Member
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    Autism is irrelevant in what I am talking about. If your child has autism that doesn't make it excusable for you to just sit back, relax and let them run around raising hell and bothering everyone else in a restaurant, theatre, etc.

    Who said anything about letting children run around raising hell and bothering others as being ok?

    several people in this thread actually.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    This was kinda what I was thinking too... we have a ton of places with "Spa" in their name that are just glorified beauty salons... little to do with an actual "Spa"
    I Googled the spa and took a virtual tour. Doesn't look all that "upscale" to me, nor do the prices seem to indicate it is "upscale".
    wineplease (I'm laughing so hard at your username, it's so cute) we are one, as I'm doing the same thing. It is literally a low to mid scale beauty salon with a few manicure tables and some waxing services. There's nothing upscale about it. The news service reporting on this probably threw that in to create a little sensationalism and balance.

    Becuase it wouldn't have had the same "controversial edge" if the headline said "Delusional and Cranky Owner of Glorified Supercuts Has Meltdown at Mother of Toddler She Knew Had Autism" would it? :)

    The news service sensationalize?? The hell you say.

    With the limited info given (and the obvious bias of the post), I would say that the owner did not handle the situation well at all, however if she had other clients complaining it was well within her right to say something to the mother. Sadly she could have been more discreet and saved everyone a lot of embarrassment.

    And if I am going to a low to mid level "spa" to get a quickie mani or pedi, I don't expect relaxation. For that I do pay the bigger bucks, I DO expect some kind of quiet and relaxation and NO those places do not cater to children.
  • smmadsen
    smmadsen Posts: 39 Member
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    High five! Wineplease.

    I think your comment about they may be your boss someday is absolutely right.

    All of "OUR" wonderful children could be the one saving your life, paying your wages, caring for you or a loved one someday.

    My son who was the one screaming his head off one day because he was scared to get his hair cut is also the same boy who saved another child's life who was choking at school.

    I think it is funny how others say "Your" kids and think that all of us do not have a responsibility in how we behave.
    "My" child may annoy you because you have a low tolerance for life in general but........one day he WILL be an adult. A high functioning, responsible one if I have anything to do with it.
    Remember that just because a child cries does not mean they or their parents are bad. It means they are HUMAN!

    I like the old adage about don't say things you would not want your mother to hear. Remember we were all children once and I am guessing a few of you had a bad day and cried because you did not like something.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    And really, those who have kids are going to have more sympathy for the mother in this situation than those who don't. I realize that's a generalization, but for the majority I believe this to be true. I don't have kids, so I do not frequent kid friendly places as often as I do places that cater to adults.
  • moosegt35
    moosegt35 Posts: 1,296 Member
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    High five! Wineplease.

    I think your comment about they may be your boss someday is absolutely right.

    All of "OUR" wonderful children could be the one saving your life, paying your wages, caring for you or a loved one someday.

    My son who was the one screaming his head off one day because he was scared to get his hair cut is also the same boy who saved another child's life who was choking at school.

    I think it is funny how others say "Your" kids and think that all of us do not have a responsibility in how we behave.
    "My" child may annoy you because you have a low tolerance for life in general but........one day he WILL be an adult. A high functioning, responsible one if I have anything to do with it.
    Remember that just because a child cries does not mean they or their parents are bad. It means they are HUMAN!

    I like the old adage about don't say things you would not want your mother to hear. Remember we were all children once and I am guessing a few of you had a bad day and cried because you did not like something.

    Who or what your child will grow up to be is irrelevant. They should still have to behave now, as kids and not wait until they are adults.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    And really, those who have kids are going to have more sympathy for the mother in this situation than those who don't. I realize that's a generalization, but for the majority I believe this to be true. I don't have kids, so I do not frequent kid friendly places as often as I do places that cater to adults.

    I agree with this.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
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    Hmmm...this thread seems to have exploded a bit...:explode: :explode: :explode: :explode:
  • bennysammysofie
    bennysammysofie Posts: 331
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    I should let you "perfect" parents, "perfect" kids people take my 2 boys for a week and see how ya do! My daughter is easy, so you cant take her! Take the boys for a week though....see you in about 2 hours because you WILL want to return them!
  • Skratchie
    Skratchie Posts: 131 Member
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    Try forcing a two year old to behave. I once thought as you did until I had kids. Just try it, I dare you......then you might reconsider such misguided comments, however, there are parents that take the lazy route.

    Let me preface this with saying that the owner of the spa did not handle this correctly. She should have pulled the mother aside and explained that the child's behavior was upsetting others. Just because one or two people who posted this on FB weren't bothered by it, that doesn't mean others weren't. However ...

    I didn't make my two year old behave. I just picked their little *kitten* up and removed them from whatever situation they were in that made them act stupid. That's what's missing from society these days - the ability to gauge a situation and remove yourself or your child from it when the need arises.

    I've raised three kids - two of whom I gave birth to myself. And nothing makes me more nuts than going out somewhere and having to listen to someone else's kid scream to the top of their lungs. Well, maybe someone's kid running through a store and into me makes me more nuts. Seriously, it makes me want to reach out and shake the parent and ask, "CAN YOU NOT HEAR HIM SCREAMING?!?"

    Age, disability, day of the week - it's all an excuse to not parent a child appropriately. As others have said, if you can't control what your child does when you're out with them, then please, by all means, don't take them out. And if that's not acceptable to you, then when they are overstimulated, or tired, or whatever it is that's causing them to act out and cause others distress, please do the right thing and remove them from the situation.

    I didn't take my daughter shopping for three years because she couldn't behave. Once she realized that she didn't get to go to the "fun places" with Mommy because she wouldn't behave, she learned real quick to get her act together and not be a nuisance. When I did have to take her somewhere and she got out of line and couldn't be controlled, I took her little butt out to the car, and we left. I don't care if she was in the middle of getting a haircut, if I was buying groceries, or if we were in the doctor's office.

    See, I don't like hearing other people's kids scream and cry, so I never allowed mine to scream and cry in public either.

    My daughter is bi-polar, and likely has been since birth (they won't diagnose kids, usually). So don't come at me with not knowing about how to parent, or how to parent a child with special needs. My kids learned how to behave, all of them, and my daughter didn't get a free pass on not behaving because she was special needs. When she didn't behave, we left. Period. The end.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    Who or what your child will grow up to be is irrelevant. They should still have to behave now, as kids and not wait until they are adults.

    You're missing the point. How we treat them as children will determine how they grow up. Tolerance, patience, kindness, compassion will contribute to happier, better adjusted adults. If we treat children like second class citizens who are nothing but trouble and a bother to us, we won't be doing ourselves any favors as they grow older. You obviously have a different definition of "behaving" than I do. I'm not condoning children running around a fine dining restaurant screaming and throwing things. I'm not saying it's okay for children to throw temper tantrums without a parent dealing with the issue. Discipline is important. HOW you discipline is more important.

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