hotties only date other hotties...

So where the hell do I sit on this scale?

The last two women I asked out blew me off. One did the Old, "maybe", "We'll see". WTF, am I a six year old asking for a cookie? Just say thanks but no thanks. The second woman had been flirting with me for weeks, and yes it was flirting, not just being nice. She made several remarks about how she would date me, liked older men, how she found my sense of humor to be attracitve quality. When I asked her out on a date, she said yes, then when we went to nail down plans, she said she just wanted to do a freinds thing cuz she isnt ready to date anyone yet... SMH...

At this rate, I almost want to give up on women all together... well, not all together, but dating is making me want to get a mail order bride

No I am not rich, but make a good living, I may not be totally hot, but not bad either, and as for personality, effin forget about it, I am the funniest person I know, bar none! It should also be noted that while I play a bad boy on TV, I am easily wrapped around a womans finger and whipped behind closed doors. Perfect guy, I tell you! LOL

Go ahead ladies, give me some honest feedback, what the hell are you looking for?

I used to wonder the very same thing. I am far from being a hottie. I was always told how funny and witty I was. But I later found out the issue wasn't with my looks, my personality, or my bank account...for me it was insecurity. Just like dogs & bees can smell fear...women can smell a guy who isn't secure with himself. Once I got a little swag...I met my wife and ce la vi.

I love the "six year old asking for a cookie." line. Keep being you man! As a wise man told me once - there may be a lot of fish in the sea...but if your line ain't in the water...you ain't catchin' none.

^this is great advice.

i'm inclined to say those two women you were referring to aren't the ones for you. lots of women are flaky, just like plenty of men are (as i've been finding out). i hate dating too--but it's a game, and we have to play the elimination game. you've just eliminated two women who you don't need. time to move on and you'll find someone (just like i'm told i'll find someone too!). for what it's worth, i put myself out there with a guy and got rejected. but this past weekend, i was just doing my thang and got approached multiple times (not asked out per se). anyway, we'll keep on working the confidence muscles and we'll get there!

I agree with silver and the poster before her. Though, I do know you, so I know you have some confidence. Those 2 women weren't meant for you is all. Keep at it. Besides, you're fresh on the market again. Once women realize that, they will be pining for you, Shawn.

From the "guy before Silvr" - ^^^ What she said!

All I got going for me is a big ****. No really. I have a really good friend who's name is Richard and he's really tall. Over 6 feet.

My wife is smoking hot and she's with me. Therefore, I know that hotties dating only other hotties is false! US UGLIES HAVE A CHANCE DAMMIT!

Smart
Good Looking
Emotionally Stable

Pick two.

All I got going for me is a big ****. No really. I have a really good friend who's name is Richard and he's really tall. Over 6 feet.

All I know is that "gain a 1/2 inch for every 30 lbs lost" myth...not a myth...truth. Just sayin'. Don't know why I felt like I needed to say it. But...anyway. #Awkward

yea, I'm kidding. Some people actually prefer intelligent conversations with a decent person. It's not all about looks and money. Well, not for everyone, anyway....

Actually not true. A study was conducted (was watching Science Channel so dont have a link to the article) regarding human attractiveness and what scientists discovered is that humans will select each other based on a rating + or - a number. For example someone that was rated an avg of 5 by all other participants would select a 4, 5 or a 6 as their preference for a partner.

So what your topic says actually correlates.

may be true for some, but definitely not for all.

Yes. Those outliers usually have pretty big bank accounts.

I must say for me it is personality and looks, looks which are hot to me though, doesn't mean someone else will agree what I find hot is their hot.

I've never cared if they have money, as long as they work and aren't lazy....I finance myself, don't need anyone to do that for me.

True story.

I've dated a number of guys who my friends did not find attractive at all. My idea of attractive apparently doesn't necessarily correlate with what people consider "conventional" good looks. I had a crush on a guy friend years ago....one of my friends told me to my face that this guy was ugly and she had no idea how I could possibly like him (I'm no longer good friends with HER because she was kind of a jerk)...I WAS attracted to him, but what really attracted me to him was his kindness and spirit...unfortunately, he also recently came out as gay so that didn't quite work out (he's still a great friend though lol).

I guess I don't look for "hotties" when I'm considering dating someone...I want someone that I have chemistry with/attraction to, for sure--but that is SO subjective and individual. And looks don't last forever. I want someone who I find attractive and who finds me attractive, but I'm in my 40s--eventually guys in my age range lose their hair (if they haven't already), women go gray, etc. Real relationships last beyond the superficial stuff on the outside.

So where the hell do I sit on this scale?

The last two women I asked out blew me off. One did the Old, "maybe", "We'll see". WTF, am I a six year old asking for a cookie? Just say thanks but no thanks. The second woman had been flirting with me for weeks, and yes it was flirting, not just being nice. She made several remarks about how she would date me, liked older men, how she found my sense of humor to be attracitve quality. When I asked her out on a date, she said yes, then when we went to nail down plans, she said she just wanted to do a freinds thing cuz she isnt ready to date anyone yet... SMH...

At this rate, I almost want to give up on women all together... well, not all together, but dating is making me want to get a mail order bride

No I am not rich, but make a good living, I may not be totally hot, but not bad either, and as for personality, effin forget about it, I am the funniest person I know, bar none! It should also be noted that while I play a bad boy on TV, I am easily wrapped around a womans finger and whipped behind closed doors. Perfect guy, I tell you! LOL

Go ahead ladies, give me some honest feedback, what the hell are you looking for?

I haven't dated in about 9 years for a variety of reasons, and I am just dipping my toes in the water at this point and THINKING about it. So I am probably not a great one to give advice because I am so out of practice. As another poster mentioned, I don't know you at all either, but I also creeped your profile. You appear (on MFP) to be a great guy who is working very hard to stay healthy and fit! Besides looks, job, humor (that's a huge bonus) and working on physical fitness, there are other qualities I personally would seek in a guy and I wouldn't know that about you until I got to know you. I also don't want to date people outside of my geographic area, that's just my personal bias at this time in my life. So if you asked why I wouldn't be interested--that would basically cover it.

As for the women you asked out who blew you off--that does suck. Especially the one who agreed to go out and then changed her mind. But that's about her/them, not you. Women, just like men, can be flaky at times. I wouldn't give up--you clearly did NOT give up on recovering from your injuries, and you've lost a lot of weight--that's pretty amazing!

I've dated a number of guys who my friends did not find attractive at all. My idea of attractive apparently doesn't necessarily correlate with what people consider "conventional" good looks. I had a crush on a guy friend years ago....one of my friends told me to my face that this guy was ugly and she had no idea how I could possibly like him (I'm no longer good friends with HER because she was kind of a jerk)...I WAS attracted to him, but what really attracted me to him was his kindness and spirit...unfortunately, he also recently came out as gay so that didn't quite work out (he's still a great friend though lol).

I guess I don't look for "hotties" when I'm considering dating someone...I want someone that I have chemistry with/attraction to, for sure--but that is SO subjective and individual. And looks don't last forever. I want someone who I find attractive and who finds me attractive, but I'm in my 40s--eventually guys in my age range lose their hair (if they haven't already), women go gray, etc. Real relationships last beyond the superficial stuff on the outside.

This exactly! I want someone that I have a connection with, not just who looks good on my arm.

hahaha
Well if I have that awesome connection, then regardless of what anyone else thinks, that guy ALWAYS looks good on my arm. And I check out the view often.
Also, I have dated various races, ages, heights, sizes, guys with personality, no personality, nice guys, *kitten*, rich guys, poor guys, etc... I don't care. If you are creative, intelligent, make me laugh, and most importantly, make me feel at ease and comfortable around you, I'm interested.

I've found it very hard to prove my intelligence and humor when I don't have the looks for them initiate a conversation with me.

I don't know if it's different in Sweden. In the USA, most women don't initiate conversation because of conventional "rules" that make us seem aggressive or unladylike if we show too much interest (as lame as that is)...I used to ask guys out all the time when I was younger and my friends told me I was "chasing" guys and should stop, because then they'd come to me. Wasn't necessarily true--I've gone about 9 years with barely a date, because NOONE is asking me out. But I do think women struggle with this--we sometimes feel like we have to wait for a guy to initiate something. Maybe you need to initiate the conversations first?

I go for the poor, dumb, ugly one's.

They put out faster.

and this

I'm enjoying reading this.

Generally speaking, women will date men that are less attractive then they are and men will look for women that are super attractive or out of their league... per stats I've read and can't remember where. I think a fitness magazine.

This isn't always the case. However, I know that women are often a lot harder on themselves then men are in regards to looks and keeping themselves healthy. Women are emotional, men are physical.