Need to Vent!!! I THINK I LOVE MY HUSBAND

thats what you get for trying to get some when football season is just starting! Espn all week, nbc sunday night, cbs fox football, college football saturday! Get used to it!

Girl, if he doesn't pay attention to you, you need to start leaving the house all dressed up and looking good. Even if it's going out to the store, let other men compliment you and make you feel good. You can let him know about it when you get home. Start going out without him and make him wonder what you're up to. It might take some time, so yeah, maybe you'll need some of what the others suggested.... In fact, that might get him interested. Stop doing the things you do for him on an every day basis (whether it be cooking dinner or washing his clothes, etc.) and let him know if he's not gonna take care of your needs, you're not going to take care of his. In fact, (thank God my husband doesn't like sports) but I'd go stand in front of him with a pair of scissors, walk over to the TV cord, and threaten to make sure he won't have the choice to pick the tv over you anymore. You probably need to tell him what you told us, and tell him seriously. Let him know exactly how he's making you feel.

I'm going to speak from my own experience here, so I hope you find it helpful as this isn't an easy thing to write about.

I've been with my partner for 12 years, and been married for the last 7. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs - personally I hate confrontation and will always walk away from an argument if it makes me angry so I can talk it through later when I'm calm - retrospectively my OH would probably have been better off having a short (verbal) fight followed by make-up sex: something I never condoned as I have always tried to keep sex for tender and loving moments... which sound good on paper but actually probably takes some of the fiery passion out of it.

Anyway - during one of our more difficult periods this led to us going for several months without sex and after that it got awkward for both of us - we both got scared to initiate things in case we were rejected and were both prepared to reject advances as a sort of defence mechanism. If you are in this sort of phase 'jumping' him will not work: In fact it is likely to just make him irritated, then you will be frustrated and he will know it feel inadequate and angry with himself.... My suggestion is that you create an environment where you can both relax and build up to things slowly. Ask him if he can give you a back massage for example, then another night ask him to return the favour, - turn the TV off and put music on. Get used to spending that half an hour or so together in an intimate way without him feeling like you 'have' to have sex or he's failed.... Be patient with this - after 3 or 4 weeks you will have built up intimacy again and sex will start feeling like love making - and once you are there I promise he will wont be able to keep his hands off you when you 'jump' him.

Its normal for both men and women to go through periods of depression where they have low sex drives - and if its happened once to someone its likely to happen again. You can reduce the frequency through healthy living and you can deal with the issue it raises through recognising and addressing the behaviour. Its a lot easier to get over the fact you had a low libido for for a month because you were sick than because (you think) there is a problem with your relationship.

Good Luck

I'm going to speak from my own experience here, so I hope you find it helpful as this isn't an easy thing to write about.

I've been with my partner for 12 years, and been married for the last 7. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs - personally I hate confrontation and will always walk away from an argument if it makes me angry so I can talk it through later when I'm calm - retrospectively my OH would probably have been better off having a short (verbal) fight followed by make-up sex: something I never condoned as I have always tried to keep sex for tender and loving moments... which sound good on paper but actually probably takes some of the fiery passion out of it.

Anyway - during one of our more difficult periods this led to us going for several months without sex and after that it got awkward for both of us - we both got scared to initiate things in case we were rejected and were both prepared to reject advances as a sort of defence mechanism. If you are in this sort of phase 'jumping' him will not work: In fact it is likely to just make him irritated, then you will be frustrated and he will know it feel inadequate and angry with himself.... My suggestion is that you create an environment where you can both relax and build up to things slowly. Ask him if he can give you a back massage for example, then another night ask him to return the favour, - turn the TV off and put music on. Get used to spending that half an hour or so together in an intimate way without him feeling like you 'have' to have sex or he's failed.... Be patient with this - after 3 or 4 weeks you will have built up intimacy again and sex will start feeling like love making - and once you are there I promise he will wont be able to keep his hands off you when you 'jump' him.

Its normal for both men and women to go through periods of depression where they have low sex drives - and if its happened once to someone its likely to happen again. You can reduce the frequency through healthy living and you can deal with the issue it raises through recognising and addressing the behaviour. Its a lot easier to get over the fact you had a low libido for for a month because you were sick than because (you think) there is a problem with your relationship.

Good Luck

I think this is an excellent post. My husband has gone through a lot since we first started dating (8 yrs ago), while he was in the army and afterwards he'd often get depressed. This affected how talkative he was as well as how intimate. This also now happens whenever we move or when he is looking for a new job. Sometimes there are just bumps in the road, it's normal. I don't know if that is your husband's situation or not, but it can be kind of tough if you don't know where you are going in life. You mentioned he is now out of the army, does he know what he really wants to do with himself now?

I think the best thing you can do is try to make him feel loved. Write him notes and leave them on the mirror, or just sit next to him on the couch and rub his shoulders. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just be patient. And eventually through open communication and problem solving things will work out. If you constantly pressure him, then it could just make him feel more stressed out.

**** you. Instead of venting on the forum like a 17 year old talk to your husband about it instead of dehumanizing him like this. It might be a psychological issue. Oh wait, I forget most people completely lack any empathy.

for people who are SO WISE AND EXPERIENCED than me, you all are some of the stupidest people in the world.