Can men and women be "just friends"?

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  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    yes, because I can have intellectual grown up conversations without feeling the need to jump every guys bones.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    I can be just friends with a guy, but they usually cant be just friends with me. True story. Which is annoying.

    But what if I don't find you sexually attractive at all? It would be easy to be friends with you I think.

    idk.gif

    No, you don't look like my mom or anything but I need some personality and spark before I can click with someone. You're just too nice and sweet for that I think.

    "Too nice and sweet" = no personality and or spark?

    Mmmkay. Im happy ya picked up on my gif and what I was going for ther, which means I do have personality and spark.
  • tehboxingkitteh
    tehboxingkitteh Posts: 1,574 Member
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    I've had this talk a bunch of times with people.
    Guys and girls are different creatures.
    If a guy is your friend and has never asked you out it is because:

    1) He doesn't find you attractive.
    2) He is waiting for you to be single.
    3) He is waiting to be single himself.
    4) He is gay- see #1.
    5) He is biding his time in some strange plan he concocted inside his head for the 'right time.'

    Except this isn't true. I have had a female friend for 13 years. I find her attractive but I value her more as a friend than as anything "more" than that. I never once was waiting for her to be single, or biding my time, or any of that other nonsense.
    My best friend is a guy. He's told me he finds me attractive. We've been single at the same time, multiple times. He's not gay. He knows we're better as friends because he doesn't want to risk losing me.

    Exactly, this is someone who has been with me every step since I was 16. We went through teen angst together, found/lost love, and became adults together. And we even talked about "us" at one point and decided that it wasn't going to happen.
    He and I have had that talk. We decided together that what we have now is best.
  • JessHealthKick
    JessHealthKick Posts: 800 Member
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    Actually, most of my close friends are guys... some of them I have had a 'crush' on (when I was 14, so 7+ years ago) in the past but now we are very close. Ex I dated for 2.5years is one of my best friends!
  • lostdogg
    lostdogg Posts: 450 Member
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    I've had this talk a bunch of times with people.
    Guys and girls are different creatures.
    If a guy is your friend and has never asked you out it is because:

    1) He doesn't find you attractive.
    2) He is waiting for you to be single.
    3) He is waiting to be single himself.
    4) He is gay- see #1.
    5) He is biding his time in some strange plan he concocted inside his head for the 'right time.'

    Except this isn't true. I have had a female friend for 13 years. I find her attractive but I value her more as a friend than as anything "more" than that. I never once was waiting for her to be single, or biding my time, or any of that other nonsense.
    My best friend is a guy. He's told me he finds me attractive. We've been single at the same time, multiple times. He's not gay. He knows we're better as friends because he doesn't want to risk losing me.

    Exactly, this is someone who has been with me every step since I was 16. We went through teen angst together, found/lost love, and became adults together. And we even talked about "us" at one point and decided that it wasn't going to happen.
    Kitteh, wheird:
    I've had similar circumstances too.... I think it's more common than ppl think. Some of the best friends I've had were attractive ppl of the opposite sex. As I posted earlier is about honest feelings and boundaries. I agree with you both.
  • jennpaulson
    jennpaulson Posts: 850 Member
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    Growing up I always had more close guy friends than close girl friends. Since we're at an age where most everyone is married I don't have many of the same guy friends anymore because their wives didn't approve, even though we had been friends since middle school. The guy friends I have now have told me they find me attractive and they don't understand why I have such bad luck with love because they think it's awesome that I'm not needy, love to go to the track, pay all my own bills, take care of my kid, and work on my truck but they're all married and even if there is flirting, it's all harmless and going no where.

    So... Yes men and women can be just friends.
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,983 Member
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    I've had this talk a bunch of times with people.
    Guys and girls are different creatures.
    If a guy is your friend and has never asked you out it is because:

    1) He doesn't find you attractive.
    2) He is waiting for you to be single.
    3) He is waiting to be single himself.
    4) He is gay- see #1.
    5) He is biding his time in some strange plan he concocted inside his head for the 'right time.'

    Except this isn't true. I have had a female friend for 13 years. I find her attractive but I value her more as a friend than as anything "more" than that. I never once was waiting for her to be single, or biding my time, or any of that other nonsense.
    My best friend is a guy. He's told me he finds me attractive. We've been single at the same time, multiple times. He's not gay. He knows we're better as friends because he doesn't want to risk losing me.

    Exactly, this is someone who has been with me every step since I was 16. We went through teen angst together, found/lost love, and became adults together. And we even talked about "us" at one point and decided that it wasn't going to happen.
    Part of me thinks, if I could be friends with them that long that what might grow out of it is worth pursuing, even if things don't work out. Another part of me say, **** gets weird after you've been friends that long and it just won't work out well trying to make the transition. I haven't had the situation where I've the talk about it or tried to pursue after a long term friendship. Just would feel kind of awkward.
  • indigo_rose
    indigo_rose Posts: 250
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    hell yeah they can.. I have a few guy friends... I'd be a big fat liar if the thought of boinking them hasn't crossed my mind at somr point in the time I've known them.. But hey.. I'm only human.
  • LYNN8SUPERSTAR
    LYNN8SUPERSTAR Posts: 43
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    I definitely believe men and women can be friends.:smile: No funny stuff LOL!:laugh:
  • fShaw86
    fShaw86 Posts: 878 Member
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    Depends on what kind of man or woman you are?

    I have some guy friends who I can have a regular conversation with, where they don't feel the need to make sexual innuendos or flirt. Some other guy "friends" on the other hand I cannot talk to without feeling like I'm just gonna end up as another notch on their bedpost.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    I'm not attracted to every single man on the planet, why assume that just because a man and a woman are friends that they're going to be attracted to each other? And even if there's a slight degree of physical attraction, it doesn't mean that anything is going to come of it. I'm married so if I find another guy attractive that's as far as it's going to get, i.e. me thinking he's attractive and leaving it at that because I respect my husband and my marriage, but that doesn't mean I can't be friends with the guy. If someone starts hitting on me even though they know I'm married, that would be the end of the friendship, because it shows a lack of respect.

    But in most cases of male and female friends, they're simply not attracted to each other in that way. In my life I've had loads of male friends, most of them I was not attracted to, or if they were attractive they were off limits (e.g. friend's boyfriend/husband) or not attracted to me, and if you can't keep it in your pants when you find someone attractive but they're off limits then how are you ever going to have a serious relationship? Because even after you are married or in a long term committed relationship you're going to have to interact with attractive people. So really this idea that a man and woman can't be just friends IMO comes from quite an immature attitude.
  • runner2runner
    runner2runner Posts: 1,937 Member
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    Of course they can!! I'm friends with quite a number of women I find attractive but am not attracted to (romantically or sexually)!
  • banana_milk
    banana_milk Posts: 40
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    Of course. I have several male friends that are "just friends."
  • rotill
    rotill Posts: 244 Member
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    More than fifty years of practice at the concept "friends with guys and not sleeping with them" says it can be done. Actually, I can even have sex with guys and remain friends after. It doesn't have to be all drama, jealousy and high expectations.
  • beckieboomoo
    beckieboomoo Posts: 590 Member
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    Like 90% of my friends are male, just get on with guys better to much hassle having female friends (most of the time) too *****y and argumentive ..... But i do get on with some nice women :)
  • 1Kristine1
    1Kristine1 Posts: 697 Member
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    I think the real question is: How do you repair a friendship after you tried to go down the relationship road but crashed and burned?
  • ziggiezambi
    ziggiezambi Posts: 253
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    I have more guy friends then I do chick friends. It’s always been that way, all the way back to elementary school. So yes. but also it depends on the guy and girl that’s being referred to. With me I've always been considered as "one of the guys" or “the younger sister”. So I don’t think anything different of it. But for me trying to have a chick friend is hard. It’s difficult for me to find a subject to discuss and a lot of times if she’s cute I’ll get nervous and my mind blanks and I have to watch what I say so I don’t offend her or look like a idiot..
  • bigaussiebloke
    bigaussiebloke Posts: 257 Member
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    Yeah, I think it is totally possible....

    I just hate it when the women I am friends with just want more, get's kind of awkward....

    oh and yeah that has never happened!..

    lol
  • talamer
    talamer Posts: 516 Member
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    I'm not attracted to every single man on the planet, why assume that just because a man and a woman are friends that they're going to be attracted to each other? And even if there's a slight degree of physical attraction, it doesn't mean that anything is going to come of it. I'm married so if I find another guy attractive that's as far as it's going to get, i.e. me thinking he's attractive and leaving it at that because I respect my husband and my marriage, but that doesn't mean I can't be friends with the guy. If someone starts hitting on me even though they know I'm married, that would be the end of the friendship, because it shows a lack of respect.

    But in most cases of male and female friends, they're simply not attracted to each other in that way. In my life I've had loads of male friends, most of them I was not attracted to, or if they were attractive they were off limits (e.g. friend's boyfriend/husband) or not attracted to me, and if you can't keep it in your pants when you find someone attractive but they're off limits then how are you ever going to have a serious relationship? Because even after you are married or in a long term committed relationship you're going to have to interact with attractive people. So really this idea that a man and woman can't be just friends IMO comes from quite an immature attitude.

    ^^^Totally agree with this!!! :) and 99% of my friends are men ! Sry ladies :P !!

    and I have some of ladies friends on MFP and they are awesome!
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
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    Of course. The assumption that they can't assumes that 1. Everyone is straight and 2. Men are horny idiots who literally want to have sex with every woman. Both of those things are false.

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