NSV - Ladies, why do you get mad when this happens to you?

But, for a woman to have a nice chest, backside, legs...whatever... it is still an accomplishment for her. She wouldn't get many of those looks/compliments without good hygiene and being reasonably fit.

this thread confirms it. Women are weird.

this tread confirms it. That bent Y chromosome makes men denser than a loaf of 12 grain bread.

If I have been working hard to get fit, healthy, slim, ripped etc etc then having someone looking at my bod or complimenting me on my slimness is all good.

I am a guy and I find that creepy and would have probably reported him to HR. With that said, I think casually checking out someone's boobs is a bit different, no? I think we're talking about staring a bit too long without realizing it as opposed to staring with an open mouth and putting my hand down my pants. Clearly there is a line somewhere. I just find it funny that so many on this thread can't seem to understand how confusing it is to men when you wear something that clearly "shows off" your breasts but yet you get mad when you catch someone looking. Making vulbar comments or making physical contact? Clearly that is out of bounds. You catch the good-looking guy down the hall checking you out as he walks past your desk? And you are mad at that? Really?

Here's the difference. The experience you described was a one-time, or at least rare event, from somebody that you at least know a little, and trust. If you had, for any reason, needed to let her know she needed to stow it because the attention was unwelcome, you had every reason to believe that she'd not only comply, but probably retreat in embarrassment. If what women routinely experienced was similar to that, I don't think most of us would have a problem with it. As you say, what a fantastic self-esteem booster! Something to give me a happy inner glow the rest of the day!

But for women, it happens ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME. And not just from people we know and trust, but strangers or passing acquaintances. And it starts when we're about 14 years old. (Think about this, if you have daughters, and ask your wife about her experiences.) I'm no beauty queen, I assure you. But I have many memories of being a young teenager and strangers -- adults, mind you -- following me around, pestering me, trying to engage me in conversation, telling me I was "pretty." The head of Sales at my summer job telling me how beautiful my breasts were (wtf!).

And that was when I was still essentially a child. As I got older, then men who weren't just pedophiles started with it too. Here I am now, over 40 years old, not terribly well-preserved either, and when a man compliments my rack or my *kitten* it's STILL NOT CHARMING. I will never be so withered or decrepit or fat that I will be grateful for the attention when it's inappropriately intimate.

Because here's the real problem: there's a way these creeps do it, demanding that I acknowledge them, claiming as their right my attention, goodwill and trust -- and maybe even my gratitude. The clear implication is that I somehow don't actually have a right to withdraw from, ignore, or reject the intimate attention. Because you see, I don't get to choose: they do. And in fact if I do ignore them, or persist in trying to brush off the compliment, then they're not puzzled or embarrassed: they're ANGRY. That's pretty threatening.

Intimacy is earned. Occasional intimate comments from someone I'm close to, or have a warm personal relationship with? NICE. Intimate comments from strangers, my friends' husbands or my husband's friends (or -- teenage edition -- my dad's friends! or my friends' dads!), or people I'm supposed to have a professional relationship with? AGGRESSIVE. HUMILIATING. THREATENING. CREEPY. WRONG.

It's not that all men do this; most of you fellas were raised right! But enough men do it that most women encounter it frequently and learn to look on unsolicited and intimately-framed comments on our appearance with a huge amount of distrust. One bad apple spoils the barrel, they say. So a small but significant minority of aggressively creepy men with who are so socially underdeveloped that they can't understand or respect social boundaries are, frankly, ruining it for the rest of you.

A. F*cking. Men! ***standing ovation****

I could have used your words and passion in a recent thread.

But for women, it happens ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME. And not just from people we know and trust, but strangers or passing acquaintances. And it starts when we're about 14 years old. (Think about this, if you have daughters, and ask your wife about her experiences.) I'm no beauty queen, I assure you. But I have many memories of being a young teenager and strangers -- adults, mind you -- following me around, pestering me, trying to engage me in conversation, telling me I was "pretty." The head of Sales at my summer job telling me how beautiful my breasts were (wtf!).

Because here's the real problem: there's a way these creeps do it, demanding that I acknowledge them, claiming as their right my attention, goodwill and trust -- and maybe even my gratitude. The clear implication is that I somehow don't actually have a right to withdraw from, ignore, or reject the intimate attention. Because you see, I don't get to choose: they do. And in fact if I do ignore them, or persist in trying to brush off the compliment, then they're not puzzled or embarrassed: they're ANGRY. That's pretty threatening.

Word

People wonder how we can get girls to stay active and healthy. I think a lot of people discount something about girls and sports during adolescence - it attracts creepy older guys who think its absolutely fine to stare at your chest (which you're still getting used to having) and make comments about it. The comments above about "Well, if you're wearing something revealing, it means you want attention." Sometimes, when you're wearing something revealing, it means you're wearing your volleyball uniform, or your running singlet. Which are completely about *you* and your desire to exercise and grow a strong and healthy body, not about some adult man's fantasy about getting his hands on nubile flesh. And when you're a teenager, you're aware those adults have real *power* over you, and if one of them wanted to do more than just look, well ... what are you going to be able to do?

Wearing t-shirts in public, jogging in public, just *being* in public - gets interpreted as permission. It assumes that women's bodies are public property and guys "just can't help themselves." That's the narrative. And if you object? You're crazy. Or a b****. Or making a big deal about nothing. Except that it's not nothing. Because it's part and parcel of a larger attitude of entitlement to women's attention, time, and bodies.

I know some women get all geeked about someone looking at them. Hello - if you don't want them to look at you then don't look good.

Haha! Women love the attention and they ***** about it to other women to brag and ***** about it to men to get yet more attention. Not fooling anyone!

Because in our society women have their worth as a human being judged by how sexy their body is on a daily basis.

Pretending to know how you'd feel and how you'd react after a lifetime of that is incredibly selfish, arrogant, and ignorant. It's nice to be objectified every now and then. It's not nice to be objectified all the time.