Fat shaming and making fun of fat people

I think that morbid obesity is a symptom of low self esteem and issues that stem from things other than food.

I think that morbid obesity is a symptom of low self esteem and issues that stem from things other than food.

This right here bothers me WAY more than a thousand people yelling "Fatty" at me ever would.

Obesity =/= crazy.

Although, this is a huge motivator since joining MFP to end my obesity - I don't want anyone's first impression of me to ever again be, "He's fat - he must be mental".

I just think there's no reason to humiliate, belittle or demean anyone else, especially not someone who isn't hurting you and is just trying to live their lives. Kindness is good.

My system won't let me watch the video but I have coincidentally been thinking about this lately... I honestly think that there is such a DISEASE in our culture with the HUGE corporations that market unhealthy things to eat to us, and the constant brainwashing of commercials who make us believe happy healthy people eat fast food and drink tons of soda...

My 9 year old daughter just got a little "chubby" and started getting picked on in school. I have worked her whole life to make her understand how beautiful she is and it has been undone by 3rd grade boys in a few months...

I have decided to IGNORE the "Fat" comments and focus with her on "health." We are focusing on packing fruits instead of crackers and taking a walk instead of watching TV. I am talking to her about her heart, circulation, lungs, skin and hair cells and how they need the nutrition from good food as opposed to focusing on what's fattening or "bad."

It's been a few weeks in this mission and the difference is visible. Not only has she slimmed down a little (NOT MY MAIN GOAL HERE) but she feels confident again and isn't hanging her head in shame.

I wish everyone had somebody to make them feel beautiful and help them by buying healthy food and explaining how it heals the body. I know the government can't be our "parent" but I wish something could be done in the positive direction to educate people and stop the corporations from making people believe bad food is OK...

You are a beautiful Mama and I crown you Mom of the year. Good way to teach your daughter about her self worth and health.

And if you assume that I have not been bullied, ever, let me assure you i have. I was bullied through middle school AND high school. I was called horrible names by several different boys. Did it permit me to slap them? NO. Did it affect me for a long time afterwards? YES. Words hurt, and verbal abuse is wrong. But somehow justifying your behavior with physical violence is 1000 times WRONG.

Well I'm going to go ahead and disagree with you there because I actually do think that physical violence, or the threat of it, is justified against bullying on occasion.

Take my friend. She has a beautiful 15yr old daughter who stopped going to school because she'd been bullied so much she had to be treated for anxiety. Some little cow in her year at school wasn't happy that a boy she fancied liked my friend's daughter so her and her equally sad little friends started a campaign against her. They started up rumours on Facebook that she slept around, they even photoshopped a few naked images and pretended they were her. They picked on her at every opportunity at school and it snowballed until even kids from other schools were attacking her on Facebook. My friend did the 'proper thing' - she went to the school and they followed their procedures.

Shall I tell you what the school's procedures consisted of? Well first there was a 'no blame' policy enacted where they got the ringleaders together in a room with the victim and said "Sarah (that's not her real name) is feeling very upset, what can we do about it?" The ringleader replied "Smack the **** out of her". The ringleader got a letter home to her parents and the 'no blame' policy ended. Next came 'Restorative Justice' and when sitting in the waiting room for that little meeting to go ahead my friend was treated to verbal abuse by the little cow's Father (who felt she was a little angel) and the little cow herself sat smirking the entire time. The meeting got nowhere. My friend then reported the harassment to the police, who very helpfully suggested she talk to the school and perhaps contact Facebook to get report abuse.....about as much use as a chocolate teapot then. Back to the school - well they decided to remedy the situation by taking the victim out of the class and putting her in a different class....nice going, let's ostracise the victim. This went on and on and on for nearly a year with this poor girl going from a bubbly teenager to a withdrawn, stressed lass who stuck to her Mum's side like glue. It ended when my friend happened to see this girl on her own one evening and she took the opportunity to push her up against a wall and tell her that if she continued destroying her daughter she wouldn't rest until the girl's every day was a living misery. THEN it stopped.

Sorry, but if school policies are ineffectual and the police won't get involved then I can't see any reason why a kid would go through something that, you yourself admit, can effect you for years when quite often a short, sharp shock is enough to both stop the bully and restore some of the victim's self-esteem.

3. To me being fat is like being a smoker, you know its bad for you. Its your health and your body so do what you want, but do not expect me to understand or support that behavior.


I Shame smokers too because they stink and it is effecting in what they are doing! Fat people are effecting me if they are too fat to work and live off my tax dollars or get free health care making my Premium go up.

People who shame others "for their own good" are nothing more than bullies who try and justify their bad behaviour by saying that they're "only trying to help."

Were you charged with assault & battery for your physical response to verbal abuse?

Nope and frankly the consequences of my actions were the last thing on my mind because here's the thing.....it's a 'camel's back' situation. A person can take nasty comments week in and week out for a long time (in my case it stretched back to school where I was bullied badly for my weight), but everyone has a breaking point and when they reach it they're either going to implode or explode. I exploded and at the time I absolutely, 100% wanted to hurt him as badly as I'd been hurt down the years. I literally had tunnel vision. I had so much adrenaline pumping through me I puked when I got home!

So that's my words of advice to people who do fat shame....have a care because people do have breaking points and you don't know if you're going to be the straw that breaks that fat camel's back.

Of course the other thing is that the guy would never have reported me - how would that conversion have gone? "Hi officer, I want to report being beaten up. Can I describe the attacker? Yes, she was short, fat and middle-aged" Would he wait around for the sound of a police officer snickering to stop?

Personally, I think what you did -- whether he deserved it or not - was physical assault, and the guy should have complained to the police. And whether or not the police would "snicker" at the guy, they still should have charged you with assault and battery. It doesn't matter if you're obese or not, what you did was wrong. Nobody has the right to put their hands, or their feet, on another person's body part in an act of violence.

It sounds like you're still harboring some serious anger regarding how you've been treated. I think your energy and efforts would be better put to use in getting rid of some of that, instead of bragging about how you turned a verbal assault (which is abusive mentally but not physically) into a physical one.

And, if you're a mom, I do hope you haven't shared this story with your kids, who would read that as: "Mom says it's okay to kick a man in a very sensitive area if he verbally assaults me." No, the words HE said did not justify the reaction you gave.

ETA: I have a black belt degree in Tae Kwon Do. While I thankfully have never had to use it, I do like to think that I can really hurt someone if they deserved it. What self defense training taught me is this: verbal abuse does not justify physical abuse. Only when the verbal abuse turns physical does it deserve to be returned in kind. AND, kicking a man in the crotch is the best way to get him even angrier and potentially more violent towards you. If you REALLY want to damage someone, go for the eyes, the throat, the shins and the kneecaps. THOSE are the "sweet spots".

His 'very sensitive area' will heal. This ladies memories of verbal assault will stay with her forever.

My ex boyfriend shouted verbal abuse at me in the middle of the street (granted, it wasn't about my weight) so I slapt him around the face and walked off. He DID go to the police, two weeks later. I was cautioned for battery.

No, what I did was NOT right but neither was his verbal assault on me, in my view, we were both equally in the wrong.

And as for this lady sharing her story with her children, that is her prerogative, her decision and if she does? I am sure she will have very good reason to.

NOBODY has the right to conduct physical violence against ANYONE, no matter what gender they happen to be. You're also wrong in slapping your ex boyfriend. What could you have done instead while he was verbally abusing you? How about LEFT him? That's more powerful,and shows more personal strength, in my opinion, than slapping him. But unfortunately, many women refuse to do this and put up with that behavior again and again until, no surprise, they snap and turn to violence.

AND yes, it happens both ways. Many men are badgered and verbally abused by women. Do they report it? No, because they're just as ashamed and embarrassed. But when those men finally snap and conduct violence towards that woman, and the man is bigger and stronger, would you be okay with that "because the woman pushed and pushed and deserved it"?

And if you assume that I have not been bullied, ever, let me assure you i have. I was bullied through middle school AND high school. I was called horrible names by several different boys. Did it permit me to slap them? NO. Did it affect me for a long time afterwards? YES. Words hurt, and verbal abuse is wrong. But somehow justifying your behavior with physical violence is 1000 times WRONG.