worst dates ever

Maybe the third date with a guy I met on OKC. I was a real jerk and was pretty much going on the dates for free food so I deserved it. We had a pretty decent dinner date except for when he mentioned how on my profile I had put that I enjoyed vanilla. On the profile it was a comment about vanilla and kinky sex and how I enjoy both. He told me that he thought it was really cool because he loved the flavor of vanilla too! He was not a smart cookie.

Afterward we went to go out for drinks with a few of my friends. He kissed me (first time after 3 dates) and then promptly told me that he had a stronger connection with me than with any of his previous girlfriends. It was awkward and I had no idea how to respond. Then he got trashed. He was a decently cool person when he was sober but a complete weirdo when drunk. He just kept talking and talking about random boring things and slurring his speach. He had been visiting my college campus and needed a place to stay so I let him stay in my tiny dorm bed with our clothes on. I spent the entire night trying to keep a full arms length away from him on the tiny college dorm bed.

A year and a half later he still calls me and texts me even though now we're living like 10 hours away from each other. Sometimes I respond. Sometimes I don't. He still calls. I probably should stop responding completely but every once in a while I feel really guilty and text back.

It's always the dudes that I have no real attraction to and find lame that fall completely in love with me and the men I find hot and fascinating that are *kitten* and runs. Go figure.

I haven't read all of them yet... but I tell this story to my friends and they tend to think I'm the queen of stories, but in all actuality, this did happen...

I met a guy online and in his online profile he was 6'-6'1, italian and worked out a lot. We skyped a couple of times and he lived in Hamilton I was living in East York (Canada, about an hour away from each other or so). He would tell me about his workouts at the gym and flex and show me his progress and I would congradualte him. Anyway... he wants to meet. I told him I was watching the hockey game that night (Stanley Cup playoffs Habs vs. Boston 7th game - wasn't missing it!) and he was welcome to join my roommate at the time and I.

He drives up and meets me after work, I put on heals figuring I'd be fine, I'm 5'7, I'd have wiggle room. He gets there, waves, I tell him where to park. He comes out of the car and I *kitten* you not... he was MAYBE 5'5! He comes out with a bag of chocolate from the bulk barn and says "I know you like chocolate!" and carnations from a corner store. I was polite and said thank you. We had to go to the beer store to pick up beer for my roommate and I tried to stay as far away from him as I could - I know rude but SERIOUSLY?

We get back to my building and go upstairs, my roommate, Sharon, introduced herself and he went to the washroom. She was like "Wthell Steph? I thought you said he was taller and not so weird!" He comes out, she offered him a beer and I had stretched out on the love seat so he couldn't fit. He sat on the couch with Sharon while she was talking to him, I was focused on the game and he was focused on me. He STARED at me for 4 F*cking hours! He got up to use the washroom about every 1/2 hour or 45 mins, doing God only knows!?! At one point, I got up to go get a drink of water and he had gotten back from the washroom and snuck on the love seat, I was so pissed off! The cat was on the couch with my roommate so I HAD to sit on the love seat with him. He didn't remotely pay attention to the game while I was screaming and acting like a total tard to get him to be disinterested and want to leave.

When the game was FINALLY over, I walked him out to the elevator and gave him a pat on the back, he pulled me in andtried to kiss me and I pulled back and said "No thank you." He said "Well don't you like me?" I said, "We will talk later, I need to get to bed." Smiled and went back inside. My roommate was on the floor laughing and telling me how creepy he was and how he stared at me all night and was probably playing with himself in the bathroom because he couldn't keep his composure in front of me. I was completely disgusted :P

He text me the next morning and I told him he wasn't my type. He freaked out and never spoke to me after that - Thank GOD! But, he was creeping my online pics for about another 3 months until I figured it out and blocked him.

That is one of MANY bad dates!

Went to a Mardi Gras Ball (Something we do in the south for those of you who don't know) and had to get a date in 2 days...

I dated three winners in a row:

Contestant One lived in a 16x16 foot shack that he had built himself, with no indoor plumbing, but a mirror on the ceiling. He could not drive because of DUIs and because he "shot his wife, but only winged her."

Contestant Two was very nice, if controlling, at the end of the date he told me that he was not the ACTUAL Anti-Christ, but he was the John the Baptist of the Anti-Christ. Believe it or not, this was the second guy I had dated who had delusions of evil grandeur.

Contestant Three was the guy that I met through a paper ad (back when they had those). He asked me before we met what size dress I wore and he constantly referred to himself in the third person. "Sven like to workout at the gym." "Sven has BIG muscles." "Sven likes his women small and helpless." He had a son and would talk about the two of them as "Sven and Little Sven work out every day at the gym". Even being Sveedish was not enough to make up for a third person talking-narcissistic trophy wife looking- steroid using body builder.

If I were a woman I would check the offender list of every man I was planning to go on a date with. I couldn't stomach knowing I was on a date with someone like 'that'.

For those of you that have had so many bad dates, there is one common factor in all of them.

I met this one guy and we had a great date and then he took me back to his place...to show me his doll collection. It was creepy as Hell. I ran away fast.