Do men secretly want a more traditional housewife?
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The Good Wives Guide circa 1950!
Have dinner ready.
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself.
Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away clutter.
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
Over the winter months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Prepare the children.
Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimise all noise.
At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him.
You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the right time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his.
Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his real need to be at home and relax.
Your goal.
Try to make sure that your home is a place of peace and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone throught that day.
Make him comfortable.
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or a warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is master of the house and as such, will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.
You have no right to question him.
A good wife knows her place
This situation would be my own personal hell.0 -
Now in my forties I think back and would say I wish I had married a sugarmomma so she could make all the money and I could while away my time doing any old thing I wanted. As it is I married the greatest women in the whole world she just does not make all the money working just weekends and putting up with my BS the rest of the week.:ohwell:0
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So here's my question: in this modern society do men secretly (or sub subconsciously) want a 1950's doting housewife?
I'm not meaning dressing up like a 50's house wife, but more in spirit : making the man the #1 priority, centring your day around his comings and goings, hot meal on the table, house clean, wife all prettied up...
If guys do like that is it just a novelty and they get bored with it or is it something deep down they want but dare not say so?
Who wouldn't? I wouldn't mind one.0 -
You are crazy no woman in her mind would live like that.0
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No.
I want my woman to have a full time job, come home, cook, clean, take care of the kids, satisfy me sexually, and then let me go and hang out with my friends all day.
This man is crazy no woman in her right mind would agree to live this way.:laugh:0 -
If I was a guy, I'd want a wife taking care of me, 100%.0
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Gosh this sound like my boyfriend, I'm not sure if it's a Serbian thing but he is very demandingNo.
I want my woman to have a full time job, come home, cook, clean, take care of the kids, satisfy me sexually, and then let me go and hang out with my friends all day.
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My husband and I have been married for 26 years and I am definitely the more traditional housewife, but I prefer it that way. He would let me get a job if I wanted to. I have a college degree and used to be a public school teacher. While my two oldest sons were little, I worked very long hours (no, teachers do not work just 7 to 3) and my husband traveled and was not home most of the time. That left me to take care of the boys and the house too. He saw how exhausted I was and asked me to come home until our children were older. I found that I LOVED being a stay-at-home mom, ended up having two more sons (total of 4), decided to homeschool, etc. I found that kids need as much guidance through the teen years as they do when they are younger, although it's a different kind of guidance. My youngest two are now 13 and 11. I've been home for 15 years and wouldn't change a thing. Hubby says he loves that I take such good care of the house and the kids and that when he goes to work, he doesn't have to worry about a thing because I'm so good at what I do. His dinner is prepared most of the time, laundry is always done, house is usually straightened really good and cleaned on a regular basis. In turn, hubby takes care of all the "man chores", is very supportive, and treats me like a princess every day of the year. That makes me want to please him even more.0
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So here's my question: in this modern society do men secretly (or sub subconsciously) want a 1950's doting housewife?
I'm not meaning dressing up like a 50's house wife, but more in spirit : making the man the #1 priority, centring your day around his comings and goings, hot meal on the table, house clean, wife all prettied up...
If guys do like that is it just a novelty and they get bored with it or is it something deep down they want but dare not say so?
O.M.G.
My husband does....but that's not the way it started out :laugh: :blushing: :huh: (yes, I feel all these things at once and in that order)
When we were in our 20's it was different. Now that we're in our mid 40's, he's a much happier camper when food is already cooked and waiting for him when he gets home & I've taken care of most of the other things in the house.
I'm happier cause I don't have to break out the cattle prod to get him to do anything :laugh:
It's not politically correct and far from ideal, but it works for me.
I occasionally go on strike and refuse to do anything and he does it all without complaint :laugh: I also invoke the right to go shopping at will & come home with new stuff whenever the mood strikes me :blushing:
edited for derrr typos!0 -
Hell no!
In every circle I belong to (ie. work, home, church, etc), I believe everyone needs to play to their strengths/passions first. There are other factors of course, but let me explain. My wife is naturally a better cook than I, so she'll usually make 70% of the meals we eat at home. I'll still help her prepare and we have the unspoken rule that whoever cooks, the other will do the dishes. If she's busy with work and I'm free, I'm not going to let the dishes sit there and make her stay up late to wash them, that's ridiculous. She likes to be in the garden, taking care of the plants and making sure the lawn looks good. I personally, don't care and would rather hire someone to do that. For some reason I know how to iron, well I might add. So I'll do most of the ironing should it be needed.
My wife usually does:
Mopping
Gardening (the actual planting and choosing of plants and such)
Cooking
Taking out the Trash
I usually do:
Laundry
Ironing
Dishes
Sweeping
Cleaning bathrooms
Lawn mowing
We don't really have set chores and it's not like if I'm out of the house for a week the dishes just sit there or laundry doesn't get done. The other person just picks up the slack. I do however like when she goes on vacation, then I can make whatever my heart desires.
i think this is a great balance. but different things work for different people. I would love to be able to stay home if I wanted to but i'm not sure I would actually enjoy it. I also wouldn't enjoy not making my own money.
for the record, my mom was a housewife and my dad was the provider and it works for them.however my dad was never controlling or demanding and I think that's the key to making a "traditional" marriage work.0 -
We are fairly traditional, and we like it that way. I am the provider for the household and she takes care of the home, though I do much of the cooking and we do some of the shopping together. I am the King and she is my Queen in our home, I make most of the decisions regarding our family but never without her input and ideas.
My Wife, our children and our home are always my top priority and I am hers.
awww0 -
Men are strange creatures and I truly believe we want it to be loving and understanding. Sure we love the doting, but I do know that when you spoil the woman it is a whole lot better around the house. The best advice is to find your partners "Love Language" how do they feel love.... Get the book... "5 Love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman" I used to buy my wife gifts etc. and she would just look at them say "OK" as that was not SHE felt love... Her language is "Service" when I bring her coffee, get gas in her car, run the vacumn, put my dishes in the sink, get her car service... She has a smile like you would not believe. Hell, I can screw up til about 3 in the afternoon and I am covered.
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Nope. I'm daddy househusband and take care of everything at home. Oh and I never have a headache.:laugh:
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I do happen to have a career now but I have been the house husband before and I loved it. I kept the house clean I took care of everything that needed to be taken care of and then I had time to play the xbox. It was a great life.0 -
I'm just going to point out that to me it seems weird to have someone cook and clean for me. My husband and I do it together, or even when we do it separately we know that "I'm doing this and they are doing that". It's done for us, not "for" the other person.
This idea just weirds me out. I would feel like I was living with my parents.0 -
If i had it my way, I'd love to go back to the 1950's & be a housewife, that would be my dream. The days when you could get married at 20, get a good job not paying off college debt til your 30, being able to afford a 'house full of kids' while the wife stayed home, cooking cleaning & tending to the kids........ i want that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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Hell no!
In every circle I belong to (ie. work, home, church, etc), I believe everyone needs to play to their strengths/passions first. There are other factors of course, but let me explain. My wife is naturally a better cook than I, so she'll usually make 70% of the meals we eat at home. I'll still help her prepare and we have the unspoken rule that whoever cooks, the other will do the dishes. If she's busy with work and I'm free, I'm not going to let the dishes sit there and make her stay up late to wash them, that's ridiculous. She likes to be in the garden, taking care of the plants and making sure the lawn looks good. I personally, don't care and would rather hire someone to do that. For some reason I know how to iron, well I might add. So I'll do most of the ironing should it be needed.
My wife usually does:
Mopping
Gardening (the actual planting and choosing of plants and such)
Cooking
Taking out the Trash
I usually do:
Laundry
Ironing
Dishes
Sweeping
Cleaning bathrooms
Lawn mowing
We don't really have set chores and it's not like if I'm out of the house for a week the dishes just sit there or laundry doesn't get done. The other person just picks up the slack. I do however like when she goes on vacation, then I can make whatever my heart desires.
The same here. My BF enjoys cooking, so he does ALL of the cooking. Every bit, every night. I think I've cooked twice in the entire 4.5 years we've been together. I rather enjoy cleaning, so that's what I do. But he is better at laundry, so that's what HE does.
I think the way you explained - play to strengths, works very well.
Also that guide to being a good wife -
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You are crazy no woman in her mind would live like that.
Not true...maybe not to the extreme of a good wife knows her place, but some of us would.0 -
My husband and I are kind of opposite of the traditional roles in a marriage. We both work full-time, and we split up house chores, and cooking during the week. He is home by 3pm everyday, and I am not home till 6pm so he deals mostly with making kids get out of the house after school, and getting their homework done. However, on the weekends I am the one you will find wearing the tool belt, and he the apron. I'll patch holes, and drywall the new room, or clean the gutters. He loves to detail clean the house, and do the dishes. I love to cook so weekends the kitchen is mine, and i try to cook two nights during the week so he doesn't have to cook all week long, but if you ask who's going to clean the gutters? I am the one who will pull out the ladder first. It is what works for us
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Get the book... "5 Love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman" I used to buy my wife gifts etc. and she would just look at them say "OK" as that was not SHE felt love... Her language is "Service" when I bring her coffee, get gas in her car, run the vacumn, put my dishes in the sink, get her car service...
I actually find this very valid. I had to figure out what makes me feel loved and that's others doing things with or for me. Such as cooking or shopping with me. I like gifts but really have no special attachment to them. I would prefer people's time and energy to their money. (Unless I need something like cat litter. Then I'm very happy to be shown love by getting a 20 pound bag of cat litter!)
My BF is a very kinesthetic person. He prefers touch, cuddling, holding hands. I sometimes find that difficult, as I personally have a strong and very defined sense of personal space. But part of showing him love is reading and speaking his "language" so to speak, so that's what I try to do.0 -
I don't have the time to read all of the posts, but here's my female perspective on it:
My relationship with my boyfriend of almost 3 years is pretty modern. Heck, he is broker than a joke a lot of the time and we both split the bills almost down the center. I put in about the same hours as he does with his full time job, I sometimes put in more. He and I both believe in being goal-oriented and for us to both be employed. There's no way we could support ourselves on one income alone.
He used to live on his own for years, but I think he has grown so accustom to me doing household duties that I don't know how he functioned before me. I've been more lax and I haven't had the energy to clean as often as I'd like, so our apartment is a PIT! I hate it. He has a state job doing cleaning and maintenance, so he doesn't want to come home and clean AGAIN (or so the excuse is, haha).
I love him to pieces, tho. I'd be so bored out of my mind if I didn't work! It'd be a nice luxury to stay home but I'd force myself to get a job if he could be the breadwinner.0
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