Would you charge your parents rent?
Replies
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- You use to rent out that basement before she occupied it (but the money was just extra spending money)
- You grew up poor, but your mom did the best she could (was a housewife)
- You contributed money ever since you turned the working age (either all of pay or minimum $200 per month)
- You brought in the most money out of all of the family members (father couldn't find work)
- You were never really close to your mom but there was never any real conflict
Would these factors change anything?
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you know A LOT of personal information about your "friend" LOL. Just CHARGE YOUR WIDOWED MOTHER RENT, you obviously want to. Strangers on the internet agreeing with you will not help you consolodate your feelings of guilt with those of entitlement. Ask yourself how you would feel about this when your mother is gone from this Earth and you will have your answer.0 -
******************************************** MORE DETAILS ***************************************************
- You use to rent out that basement before she occupied it (but the money was just extra spending money)
- You grew up poor, but your mom did the best she could (was a housewife)
- You contributed money ever since you turned the working age (either all of pay or minimum $200 per month)
- You brought in the most money out of all of the family members (father couldn't find work)
- You were never really close to your mom but there was never any real conflict
Would these factors change anything?
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you know A LOT of personal information about your "friend" LOL. Just CHARGE YOUR WIDOWED MOTHER RENT, you obviously want to. Strangers on the internet agreeing with you will not help you consolodate your feelings of guilt with those of entitlement. Ask yourself how you would feel about this when your mother is gone from this Earth and you will have your answer.
Yes, I know personal information because I was in a heated debate with this person, and this person is in fact close to me. Some people who are on my friend list would know that this isn't me, but I wouldn't expect you to believe me, so go ahead and think what you want.
I ask because I want to know if anyone shared my views on this.0 -
Sub the you and your for they and their, my answer still applies.0
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I think if I was struggling myself I might ask her to help out with a couple of hundred bucks a month. But if I'm in a good situation financially, probably I would not. Would mom probably cook dinners & help out around the house anyways? That's great! She'll probably buy stuff for the house anyhow. So, I guess my answer is no! If I can help her have her last years be very comfortable I will do so.0
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I'm sure I'll get a lot of criticism for this, but my mother wouldn't be moving in with me in the first place. If the presence of an additional family member puts an emotional strain on the rest of the family, creates tension, and minimizes quality of life for the other family members...it's not going to happen. I'm not willing to put my family through years of unhappiness for someone who turned her back on me when I needed her the most.0
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I hope your paying her if she is keeping your 4 children under 10!0
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Sub the you and your for they and their, my answer still applies.
No. Because I want people to treat this as if they were the person I am talking about.0 -
. I'm not willing to put my family through years of unhappiness for someone who turned her back on me when I needed her the most.
That's fair0 -
Oh my God, never. With that little of an income? And I'm doing okay? Never in a million years would I accept a dime from her.0
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Would depend on if she had charged her child/children rent when they were growing up in her house? - I'd say she's paid her dues once already
This!0 -
Sub the you and your for they and their, my answer still applies.
No. Because I want people to treat this as if they were the person I am talking about.
Well if I was the person you are referring to, I would go to the Home Depot and buy some rope to hang myself with, because I'm a selfish, entitled piece of crap that would throw their mother under the bus for an iThing. better?0 -
God, no.0
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did she disown you?0
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I'd say no unless it was causing a financial stress on you.
And to those who say "she did that for you" .. parents decide to have children, not the same thing.0 -
Absolutely not! I have had my father in law live with us, and even when we were struggling to make ends meet we never charged him a dime. He would however throw money at the bills, because HE thought he should, not us.0
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Depends. My mom taught me to be independent so I'd expect her to do the same. My mom has a master's degree and post-master's certificates & she's 50. I don't think she'd need to stay with me long-term. If she was sick, disabled, mentally unwell, then HELL NO, I wouldn't charge her rent. If I could, I'd quit my job to take care of her.
But if she just wasn't willing to work for whatever reason, then she does need to help. However, that help could be through babysitting the kids, cleaning or other household chores. That way it wouldn't feel like I was taking care of her like another child.
ETA: if my mom was just being lazy, was physically able to work but just refusing, I wouldn't let her stay with me. I don't condone that behavior & am not going to teach it to my kid or let her mooch off me. And that's honest)
My mom always said it was the older generations job to take care of the younger generations until the older generation is physically/mentally unable. At that point, the younger generation needs to pick up the slack. I believe in that. Even though, if I hit the lottery or something, my mom would never work another day in her life.
My dad? yeah not so much. He couldn't even knock on my door without getting cussed out.0 -
I'd say no unless it was causing a financial stress on you.
And to those who say "she did that for you" .. parents decide to have children, not the same thing.
No it isn't, but aren't you grateful? I got to live in the house until I was married, which was 25 so I'm pretty darn grateful she didn't kick me out at 16, or start charging me rent.0 -
Would depend on if she had charged her child/children rent when they were growing up in her house? - I'd say she's paid her dues once already
My parents let me live with them for 19 yrs, gave me life, supported me, taught be to be who I am....etc, etc... Of course I would not charge them rent, and I know they would insists on doing things around the house to be helpful....
Now, my almost 20'yr old son... I am about ready to charge him rent!0 -
How sad that this is even a topic...No Way would I charge my parent. First of all, she is in the basement, you are financially set and she is on a fixed income, and on top of that she has lost her spouse.0
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HELL NO!! She can contribute by helping with housework or watching kids. That is your mom and she did so much for you, she lost her husband and is already living on practically nothing. As a child it is your duty to take care of your parents when they can't care for themselves.0
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I can't do that. Families are supposed to care for each other, I'm not gonna treat my mom like a person off the street renting a room. And plus I never had to pay rent when I live at home cuz all the money is going toward my college tuition.0
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Sub the you and your for they and their, my answer still applies.
No. Because I want people to treat this as if they were the person I am talking about.
Well if I was the person you are referring to, I would go to the Home Depot and buy some rope to hang myself with, because I'm a selfish, entitled piece of crap that would throw their mother under the bus for an iThing. better?
Based on your response, you still believe that this is me, which is very narrow minded of you. Did it ever occur to you that I could possibly be a sibling to this person, and that I have just recently had my father past away?
This response is unnecessary and it doesn't even answer the question.0 -
******************************************** MORE DETAILS ***************************************************
- You use to rent out that basement before she occupied it (but the money was just extra spending money)
- You grew up poor, but your mom did the best she could (was a housewife)
- You contributed money ever since you turned the working age (either all of pay or minimum $200 per month)
- You brought in the most money out of all of the family members (father couldn't find work)
- You were never really close to your mom but there was never any real conflict
Would these factors change anything?
******************************************************************************************************************
Nope, doesn't change it for me. But you are not me. What does the spouse in this situation say?0 -
My father-in-law recently passed away and we offered to have my mother-in-law move in with us. We are in no way well off but we still would not take money from her for rent. If she wanted to help with groceries we might let her so that she could feel like she was contributing but we would never expect or ask it of her.
Being a mother of a college student I know how much our parents did for us, how much they gave up so we could have. Now is the time to show her how much it is appreciated and take care of her. No charge.0 -
No; she has very little to live on, and it seems that the child doesn't need the money. I really don't think it matters if she ever charged the child rent if he/she ever lived at home as an adult . That's a way you teach your children responsibility when they become young adults. This is a different situation.0
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I'm sure I'll get a lot of criticism for this, but my mother wouldn't be moving in with me in the first place. If the presence of an additional family member puts an emotional strain on the rest of the family, creates tension, and minimizes quality of life for the other family members...it's not going to happen. I'm not willing to put my family through years of unhappiness for someone who turned her back on me when I needed her the most.
I agree with you.
I know that my mother would not be moving in with me but not everyone feels that way either.0 -
My parents charged me rent when I was 16...So if they were doing well and what not, I'd charge them a small amount just to help out w. food and stuff if they were financially able.0
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With that low of an income, no I don't think I would. I would expect that she would pay for her own food, if different from the family, and her own personal items, clothing, vehicle expenses. I would also expect that she help around the house and with child care.
and no the new factors would not change anything for me. My mother and I were never close, but no direct conflict. At this time I am her primary caregiver (she is 85), I pay her bills (her money), make her appointments, drive her everywhere, clean her apt, manage her medications. So I do everything now for her except allow her to live with us. That just would not work. My mother is very needy and needs to be the center of all attention. She is much happier at a senior apt complex with organized activities, then she ever would be with us. Frankly I don't think I could hold up under the strain of her living with me. I do love her, but I need to have a life of my own, and with her personality I don't think that would be possible if she lived with me.0 -
Oh and to respond to the new info from the OP:
No. My answer still wouldn't change. I am assuming again, that she is doing some baby sitting and maybe contributing in other ways like some money towards groceries or the like. She is on a very fixed income and my guess is she won't be living there forever so any little bit of money that she can stash away would be beneficial.
Plus the money that was coming in from the rent was used as additional spending money so I am guessing that the absence of it isn't going to break the family.
My mother never charged either my sister or myself for rent so I would have a hard time justifying charging her.0 -
You said that your Mom did the best she could for you growing up. Although you contributed financially when younger that was the family as a unit trying to get by, not your parents doing well and charging you rent.
If I could afford it she would live rent free. Hopefully sometimes she would buy things for the house (go grocery shopping etc) and babysit, but those wouldn't be mandatory conditions. If it is a completely separate apartment then I would expect her to be buying her own food, cleaning, household supplies etc. for her apartment. If that is the case then just hopefully the babysitting.
If she doesn't live in that apartment does she have enough money to live somewhere decent on her own or will you (and any siblings) need to supplement her income. I would not allow my parents to live in a bad way if I could afford to help. (all families are different and I am fortunate to have one where this is true)
The main question is whether your wife is okay with this. I wouldn't let it drive a wedge between the two of you.0
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