I DO NOT WANT my cake and I DO NOT WANT to eat it too...

Be the one to cut and serve the cake, then leave to put the knife in the sink. When you come back, everybody will be munching away and not be paying attention as to whether you have a small slice or no slice at all.

Here is what you do...

Take the cake with a smile on your face

stare at her while you slowly walk

towards the trash can pause with the plate over the trash can

let you smile sink into a deep frown

drop the cake in the trash can.

This will both drive your point home and be so awkward that she will never again buy you a damn cake.

Here is what you do...

Take the cake with a smile on your face

stare at her while you slowly walk

towards the trash can pause with the plate over the trash can

let you smile sink into a deep frown

drop the cake in the trash can.

This will both drive your point home and be so awkward that she will never again buy you a damn cake.

Wow cake is like some untouchable subject to some people. The idea that someone would refuse cake is unthinkable.

Just posted this over the weekend among me and my friends:

?Why are people afraid to turn down food? I've seen so many people discuss eating simply to be polite. I don't believe in this whatsoever. I have a right to control EVERY bit of food that goes into my mouth regardless of whose feelings it might hurt. Would you do drugs just to avoid hurting someone's feelings or just because some authority figure presented it to you? Heck, I turned down my own birthday cake at work this year. Is it really that you're trying to be polite, or is it an easy excuse? Or am I just a really nasty person with no regards for the feelings of others?"

If I'm mean and nasty, then I'm mean and nasty. If you're a family member, friend or co-worker YOU KNOW I'm trying to lose weight and busting my *kitten* to do so. If you STILL choose to buy me a cake - SORRY about your hurt feelings. You knew better.........

Intellectually, I agree with this. However, you need to realize that in some cultures, families, whatever that it's considered pretty rude. I personally think it's stupid and idiotic, but that's how it is in some cases. Of course if you're the one eating, then you have to deal with the consequences, but that's for another thread.

Is it rude to refuse a piece of my own birthday cake?

My sister-in-law always purchases a store bought cake
for my birthday. I do not eat dessert/packaged or, in my view,
'unhealthy'(sugar, fat and other 'questionable' food-like products)items.

Will it be rude to refuse a piece? What can I say to her when I'm offered a
piece?
Thanks!!

You shouldn't have to eat anything you don't want to eat. If you were diabetic they wouldn't force it on you. For some people, eating a piece of cake is as detrimental to their eating habits as it would be to a diabetic's health.

I would call your SIL and explain to her that you have changed your eating habits and are avoiding these types of foods. I would also tell her that she is welcome to bring it anyway but you hope she doesn't mind if you don't eat any. If you do it in advance and in a nice way, it should cause no problems. If she gets offended, that's on her, not you.

Taking the cake and playing with it or eating it just to make the family happy are both 'fake.' We need to learn to be real with people and they need to learn to accept that we've made changes to our lives.

We talk on this site all the time about 'lifestyle change' to better eating habits. So if someone made the a lifestyle change to being gay, would we tell them, ' oh, just go out with someone of the opposite sex just so your sister in law won't be offended?" Yes, a piece of cake may not be as significant as your life partner choice, but the principle is the same to me.

If the cake is for you, tell her in advance what you would prefer in its place. If the cake is actually for the other people celebrating with you, then there's nothing wrong with politely refusing.

I'm not against eating cake, but as someone who doesn't really like cake I have refused my own bday cake. People know that I don't like cake. No heads exploded. Overall, people were so busy eating cake that they enjoy that zero ****s were given.

Ditto. I don't like cake... But cake is still purchased for my son and my sweet-tooth father. No one cares. Or more eloquently put... zero ****s were given.

xoxoxo Dream

I disagree with everyone who insists that you must eat a piece of cake in order to make your sister in law happy..

no one is saying eat something to make someone else happy.

but if you know someone is going to buy you a cake for your birthday, call them up and tell them not to do so.

and btw OP, you said she does this every year? so what have you done the previous years?? are you now just on this healthy kick??

you could accept a small piece and then kind of play with it on your plate. No one is going to be watching you to make sure you actually eat it.

That's such an anorexic strategy. A small slice of birthday cake won't kill the OP, or make her fat.

However, if she doesn't ENJOY birthday cake, there are a number of different things she could request as an alternative. For instance -> http://www.babble.com/babble-voices/invitation-only-rachel-faucett/5-alternative-birthday-cakes-youll-love/

Just google "alternatives to birthday cakes."

Wow. Read my profile and guess if I'm amused you referred to my idea as anorexic. :-/

It's also a general strategy for social situations where you are given food you don't like and don't want to offend the hostess.

To be honest, I just find that whole strategy to be exceptionally immature. Only children hid food, pretend not to eat food, throw little bits in the garbage or to the dog, and do other underhanded things to allude others... Adults have had years to perfect the art of, "No thanks!"

Why aren't you discussing it with her? If she's family, it seems simple.

I think it would be better to tell her in advance that you're not a fan of cake and won't be eating any, but if she really wants to get it for everyone else, get what they'll all enjoy.

I think it would be rude to wait until she hands you a piece, and everyone else is digging in, to say, "I don't eat processed junk like that." :laugh:

Personally, though, I never refuse cake. It's CAKE! :drinker:

It would be rude, and people will probably talk about it behind your back.

I think I'm gonna bake a cake today. Then have a huge slice with red velvet cake ice cream on the side. And it shall be glorious.

Not joking either. I'm inspired.

I understand where you are coming from. Personally, I love cake. Really well made homemade cake. I hate boxed cake, supermarket cake, etc. And yes, I can tell the difference. I was spoiled as a child - my mother is an excellent baker and I'm no slouch when it comes to baking either. There's this awesome recipe using chocolate stout that I think I might have to make for my birthday this year ...

However, I never refuse a cake that was bought or made for me. That is rude. But, you don't have to eat it, or at least not much. If you can circulate and pick at the cake, everyone will think you've been eating it. If you get stuck in a group, either keep the conversation going so you don't have a chance to take a bite (and keep picking), or suck it up and eat a bite or two and then pick at the rest. That will satisfy the crowd. Get rid of your plate discretely at the first opportunity.

Be thankful it's not a cookie exchange where you're expected to try and comment on all of the cookies. No way to get out of that one. Last one I went to, I ended up having to eat a softball-sized meringue ball that wasn't cooked through. :sick:

Is it rude to refuse a piece of my own birthday cake?

My sister-in-law always purchases a store bought cake
for my birthday. I do not eat dessert/packaged or, in my view,
'unhealthy'(sugar, fat and other 'questionable' food-like products)items.

Will it be rude to refuse a piece? What can I say to her when I'm offered a
piece?
Thanks!!

Maybe a chocolate gnache cake? There's some fantastic coconut oil, cocoa powder, honey/maple syrup recipes out there. It's decadent/luxurious, beautiful, (flourless) and pretty healthy but absolutely amazing! You can puree fresh raspberries and make your own whipped cream to go on top.