Weight Sabotage's or Bridezilla?
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Hi, im getting married also in 13 months and there is no way I would get my 2 bridesmaids dresses until April/may of next year, there is no point and both would kill me as they are both dieting for there own reasons as well as the wedding, to which I support them fully. to me it sounds like she is trying to control you and personally if her attitude is like this now I would rethink being her bridesmaid.
Getting married and organising a wedding is very stressful so I do feel for her there. Have you thought that by you being determined to lose weight before her wedding that she may feel you might take some of the focus away from her? just a thought. Good luck with whatever you do, but what ever that is make it right for you0 -
Get the dress and then alter it.
Weddings bring out the worse in some women , they get so caught up in this fantasy wedding and forget about the most important thing like the marriage and focusing in blending both families.
I don't understand the fear of some brides of being upstaged , YOU ARE THE BRIDE no one is going to miss you. You are wearing a white dress and are one of two people who is going to be constantly in the spotlight that night doing all of the wedding traditions.
The only time people ignore the Bride is when she has a nasty attitude and nobody can stand her.
Is a wedding , the world does not stop moving just because you are getting marry. People have lives and things to do , weddings are only stressful if you want them to be. People don't have time for your insecurities or the crazy demands that only make send in your head.0 -
Do what you said..... get the dress in your current size since you wont know exactly what size you will be when the wedding actually gets here. In any event, you would probably have to get the dress altered.
DONT let her bully you into staying the same weight. YOU are paying for the dress. Lose the weight, get the dress altered and look awesome. If she doesn't like it, tell her to find another bridesmaid.
ETA - Your sister sounds like a total BRAT. I wouldn't go out of my way to reinforce her behavior.
I was a bride and never acted like this. i agree with this ^^ post very much and if she is losing her temper over a stupid dress that you didn't even get to choose she can go kick rocks. when you look back on a wedding(yours or not) the LAST thing you should remember was how snotty the bride was jeez. lol0 -
And she went off the handles asking me why i cant wait until after her wedding to lose weight, telling me i'm stupid and it's a waste of time and money and i should just be happy that i get to be her bridesmaid.
bwahahahaha!
Is she always like this?I mean does she have a manipulative, egoistic personality or is she just off the deep end because of the wedding?
I see several options
1) give her the alternatives and stick to it
2) drop it.
3) say "yes" to everything, keep loosing weight and have the dress alterered before the wedding. Don't even tell her about it.
Depending on your family situation, I would probably opt for the third.
I was a bridesmaid once and I have to say never again. Too much drama and BS, not worth my time.
ETA: this:DON'T let her bully you into staying the same weight. YOU are paying for the dress. Lose the weight, get the dress altered and look awesome. If she doesn't like it, tell her to find another bridesmaid.0 -
I'd use it as an incentive to be really healthy looking and slim for the wedding. Really piss her off.0
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I think it would be funny to buy the dress, lose the weight and don't get it altered. You'd have to live with looking a little weird at the wedding, but your sister would be furious and it might be worth it!0
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I think she's just jealous that people will be talking about your awesome weight loss at the wedding and take away from them talking about her0
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And she went off the handles asking me why i cant wait until after her wedding to lose weight, telling me i'm stupid and it's a waste of time and money and i should just be happy that i get to be her bridesmaid.
bwahahahaha!
Is she always like this?I mean does she have a manipulative, egoistic personality or is she just off the deep end because of the wedding?
I see several options
1) give her the alternatives and stick to it
2) drop it.
3) say "yes" to everything, keep loosing weight and have the dress alterered before the wedding. Don't even tell her about it.
Depending on your family situation, I would probably opt for the third.
I was a bridesmaid once and I have to say never again. Too much drama and BS, not worth my time.
ETA: this:DON'T let her bully you into staying the same weight. YOU are paying for the dress. Lose the weight, get the dress altered and look awesome. If she doesn't like it, tell her to find another bridesmaid.
She's always been like this. She'd tell my parents i'm not allowed to have certain clothing, shoes or go out ect. She would seriously argue with them. When I was 12 and I already had C cups and she grow up not even reaching a B in her mid 20's (Being 12 years older then me) She was still living at home and my mother mentioned needing to go bra shopping as the training bra tank tops weren't going to hold for much longer and my sister went into a total psycho tantrum about how she didn't get her first bra until she was 15 and it was unfair and that I should have to wait.
Accept I was a C cup and my breasts were being an uncomfortable problem. It's not like I was going to victoria's secrets to get a push up, padded lace bra...I just need some support so I could play netball without my boobs hurting. Good thing too as by 15, I was a 12DD. I guess that would be the issue with not showing cleavage. I'm sitting at a 32E now with a 76cm waist. It's noticeable in a bad way, though you'd think, she'd think that i'd surely lose some breast as I've got 55-60lbs to go.
But I really don't understand the concern or why there'd be any jealousy. She's an ex model, she's a typical 5'7 super thin, blonde, with a pretty face and i'm a 5'3 overweight dolly parton with a forehead the size of texas. There's really no competition. She's going to look amazing no matter what and she knows it. The bride always looks beautiful and they really have nothing to worry about. I'm down 30lbs and she's seen me at my healthiest which was 115lbs. So idk. Basically i'm going to drop another 6-8 sizes in the next 6 months. My weight loss will be completed a good half a year away from the wedding. So I really don't know what her problem is.0 -
I'd use it as an incentive to be really healthy looking and slim for the wedding. Really piss her off.
This^^
and then get the dress altered.0 -
Text her and tell her to order you a size 2 because you plan on losing a lot of weight, see what happens :P
All kidding aside, your sister is being unreasonable and this is no doubt because she's jealous. My sister and I are both losing weight together and there is NO WAY I could imagine ever saying that to her. Wouldn't you want your sister to be healthy?!? wtf?0 -
It is not unusual to order the dresses 13 months out. They are ordered at the same time because the fabric for all of the dresses is dyed at the same time so they are all the same hue.
Go ahead and order and continue on your weight loss plan. Any skilled seamstress can take the dress in for you.
Don't worry about her and her temper tantrums between now and the wedding - there will be more. Brush them off as her nerves. There are so many little details she is thinking about.
If you want to, offer to help her out and make a binder of everything. Quotes for services, names addresses, phone numbers, etc. of vendors. Somewhere to keep all of the paperwork and information handy. Or maybe list the bridal shows that will be coming up and ask her if she is planning on attending, then make arrangements to go with her.0 -
Wow! she sounds like a real tyrant....I'd hate to grow up with her for a sister. Maybe there's some sort of under laden issues going on with her. I can't give any suggestions on how to talk it out.0
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Simple....tell her to go f**k herself. As the wedding gets closer, her behavior is probably going to worsen. Seriously, what makes some women feel entitled to act this way because some poor schmuck lacked the good sense to run the hell away?0
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Step 1: Purchase burlap potato sack
Step 2: Dye it blue to match
Step 3: Wear it with a rope belt
Step 4: Try it on for her the day before the wedding (whether you actually have the ugly dress or not)
Step 5: Watch bridezilla's head explode!
Tell her to kiss your ever-shrinking *kitten*. Seriously. I know it's "her day" but she's abusing it. I get it - everyone's dresses should be ordered at the same time to be sure they're all cut from the same color (one of my bridesmaids dresses was a hint darker than the rest but I was the only one who noticed, no biggie!), but jeez, a year before the wedding.. that's foolish!
Continue to lose weight (congrats by the way!!), and explain to her that your health is a priority to you, and if she is uncomfortable, she is more than welcome to have you replaced (I wouldn't stand in that wedding.. ick!)
If all else fails, pull the mom card and have her save you!0 -
Sounds like she doesnt want you to look better than her, or steal her show. I say buy the dress in the size you are now it can always be altered. And continue to lose weight. Just because your sister is insecure doesnt mean you should stop trying to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle. You go for it girl!!! Lose that weight and look fabulous!!!0
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Step 1: Purchase burlap potato sack
Step 2: Dye it blue to match
Step 3: Wear it with a rope belt
Step 4: Try it on for her the day before the wedding (whether you actually have the ugly dress or not)
Step 5: Watch bridezilla's head explode!
Tell her to kiss your ever-shrinking *kitten*. Seriously. I know it's "her day" but she's abusing it. I get it - everyone's dresses should be ordered at the same time to be sure they're all cut from the same color (one of my bridesmaids dresses was a hint darker than the rest but I was the only one who noticed, no biggie!), but jeez, a year before the wedding.. that's foolish!
Continue to lose weight (congrats by the way!!), and explain to her that your health is a priority to you, and if she is uncomfortable, she is more than welcome to have you replaced (I wouldn't stand in that wedding.. ick!)
If all else fails, pull the mom card and have her save you!
Haha loved this. It may make the dress look even nicer. My mums in her bad books for telling her to at least pick a dress that suits the bridesmaids bodies. (Mother use to design clothing) And that's when she replied with the well they're going to have to wear jackets, I don't want their boobs all out and about for the world to see.
Not that this dress shows any boob.. or many bridesmaid dresses for that matter. I may not need to even worry about any of this soon...we've already had 3 little "Wedding planning" meetings... first meeting 1 brides maid left during the meeting as she felt my sister was trying to make us look like c**p, 2nd meeting another didn't show up then pulled out. And the last one her last remaining friend didn't turn up (The maid of honor) and said don't care what you pick, do what ever.... after seeing the hair style my sister wants us to learn to do for our hair... So the bridesmaids seem to be leaving 1 by 1. I doubt she'll just post me up for it if i'm the last one.... I hope she doesn't o.o0 -
Don't let someone else's wedding manage your life! If you want to get healthy then do it! You can always have the dress tailored to fit you later. Yes, it will be extra money... But it will at least stop your sister from complaining for the moment.0
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Do what you said..... get the dress in your current size since you wont know exactly what size you will be when the wedding actually gets here. In any event, you would probably have to get the dress altered.
DONT let her bully you into staying the same weight. YOU are paying for the dress. Lose the weight, get the dress altered and look awesome. If she doesn't like it, tell her to find another bridesmaid.
THIS........^^^^^
This, but in my opinion anyone who asks someone to buy a $200 or more dress for the privilege of sharing their special emotional moment with them is a bridezilla. It's not my wedding, and I refuse to pay half a month's rent for a dress I will never wear again because you don't trust me to dress myself.0 -
Step 1: Purchase burlap potato sack
Step 2: Dye it blue to match
Step 3: Wear it with a rope belt
Step 4: Try it on for her the day before the wedding (whether you actually have the ugly dress or not)
Step 5: Watch bridezilla's head explode!
Brilliant! :laugh:0 -
And she went off the handles asking me why i cant wait until after her wedding to lose weight, telling me i'm stupid and it's a waste of time and money and i should just be happy that i get to be her bridesmaid.
bwahahahaha!
Is she always like this?I mean does she have a manipulative, egoistic personality or is she just off the deep end because of the wedding?
I see several options
1) give her the alternatives and stick to it
2) drop it.
3) say "yes" to everything, keep loosing weight and have the dress alterered before the wedding. Don't even tell her about it.
Depending on your family situation, I would probably opt for the third.
I was a bridesmaid once and I have to say never again. Too much drama and BS, not worth my time.
ETA: this:DON'T let her bully you into staying the same weight. YOU are paying for the dress. Lose the weight, get the dress altered and look awesome. If she doesn't like it, tell her to find another bridesmaid.
She's always been like this. She'd tell my parents i'm not allowed to have certain clothing, shoes or go out ect. She would seriously argue with them. When I was 12 and I already had C cups and she grow up not even reaching a B in her mid 20's (Being 12 years older then me) She was still living at home and my mother mentioned needing to go bra shopping as the training bra tank tops weren't going to hold for much longer and my sister went into a total psycho tantrum about how she didn't get her first bra until she was 15 and it was unfair and that I should have to wait.
Accept I was a C cup and my breasts were being an uncomfortable problem. It's not like I was going to victoria's secrets to get a push up, padded lace bra...I just need some support so I could play netball without my boobs hurting. Good thing too as by 15, I was a 12DD. I guess that would be the issue with not showing cleavage. I'm sitting at a 32E now with a 76cm waist. It's noticeable in a bad way, though you'd think, she'd think that i'd surely lose some breast as I've got 55-60lbs to go.
But I really don't understand the concern or why there'd be any jealousy. She's an ex model, she's a typical 5'7 super thin, blonde, with a pretty face and i'm a 5'3 overweight dolly parton with a forehead the size of texas. There's really no competition. She's going to look amazing no matter what and she knows it. The bride always looks beautiful and they really have nothing to worry about. I'm down 30lbs and she's seen me at my healthiest which was 115lbs. So idk. Basically i'm going to drop another 6-8 sizes in the next 6 months. My weight loss will be completed a good half a year away from the wedding. So I really don't know what her problem is.
Well it's obvious that for whatever reason, she's seriously jealous of you.0
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