Women and jealousy
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It's not a "women" thing, in that it's not something that we are born to. It is a result of our society placing a ridiculous value on beauty and attractiveness. From the time a female child is born, she is taught by society to be meek, pretty and feminine. Girls are taught to compete with one another, instead of embracing each other as sisters. For many women, beauty is their only source of power. As a result, many women covet beauty in the same way that many men covet power or wealth; they see the beauty of others as a threat to their own self worth.
Don't blame women for this- blame the culture that perpetuates the cycle.
this
maybe not, but you'll see men express envy over other things (the things they were taught to identify with as tools of power)Just an observation-I haven't experienced men being jealous of each other's physical qualities and becoming catty about it.
"cattiness": in general, women are better at judging others' emotions, & more skilled at navigating them, than men are (various theories exist to explain this). while men are more driven to express aggression (various theories exist to explain this). it's just a different palette, that's all. & like people have said, wait ten years, it'll probably change some.0 -
What I have learned from this thread: I am a man and should expect my balls to drop any day now.
I am a little jealous of your triceps.0 -
i'm so glad I don't hang with the normals.0
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You are the one who started the thread! Just asking you to clarify or rephrase.
Still vague...give an example, or use more specific terms.
What made you decide women are jealous? How is it you think women are more jealous than men?From my few years on earth and even shorter time on this forum, it's apparent that women can be jealous beings. So my question is, do women have some sort of hormone that spikes jealousy levels? Not saying men don't get jealous too, but as a man I've never looked at someone much more attractive or more built than me and actually envied him. I may aspire to be better, but I can't grasp the concept beyond that.
So, do you ladies have this hormone, and what is it called?
Just an observation-I haven't experienced men being jealous of each other's physical qualities and becoming catty about it.
The people in this thread generally know what I'm referring to. This seems like a particularly interesting subject to you.0 -
Agree!I don't think all women are jealous. What I do think is that women are much more secure about noticing that other women are attractive, and admitting it. I don't believe I have ever heard a straight man come out and say something like "wow that guy is good looking. I love his hair." I fully believe they think it though...they just don't say it.0 -
Interesting! Because the thread is filled with discussion, some of it quite serious. And all topics in these forums, including this one, are open for all mfp users to participate in.Have explained myself very well, and there's no need for your response.
It was meant to spark a discussion, and it wasn't mean to be taken very seriously0 -
I tend to get jealous very easily. Mostly its because of how I see myself. I think my insecurities play a big role.
For example, this past weekend I was having lunch with my family and I was shocked to find out one of my cousins wears a bigger pant size than me and another has a larger waist than I do. I was mostly shocked because I tend to see them as very skinny and very pretty, not myself. Still even after having lost a lot of weight, it is so hard to see myself in a positive light. I'm still shocked when people take pictures of me because it is not how I see myself.0 -
Interesting! Because the thread is filled with discussion, some of it quite serious. And all topics in these forums, including this one, are open for all mfp users to participate in.Have explained myself very well, and there's no need for your response.
It was meant to spark a discussion, and it wasn't mean to be taken very seriously
I believe OP was referring to your demand for a further explanation and examples, which really wasn't needed.0 -
we're so insecure and compare ourselves to others a lot. I admit I get jealous, mostly when not having the most confident day.0
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I think there's a big difference between jealousy and envy. I think of jealousy as a good thing, and envy as not good. Like, I am jealous for the things which are mine...my marriage, my children. But I don't think envy of other women is good.....it's like saying that what they have, I don't want them to have, or that I want what they have.0
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Interesting! Because the thread is filled with discussion, some of it quite serious. And all topics in these forums, including this one, are open for all mfp users to participate in.Have explained myself very well, and there's no need for your response.
It was meant to spark a discussion, and it wasn't mean to be taken very seriously
I think you're jealous of OP's youth and posting inexperience, maybe?
I think it's important to define terms, too. I think of jealousy as anxiety & maybe anticipatory retribution-type behaviours around the potential loss of an object or person one feels one has a right to "own" (like in romantic jealousy, as in someone's jealous of a rival their partner may like)
and envy is more about admiration & identification (comparing yourself to someone else)
ie just what you said
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OP is a great person:)
Interesting! Because the thread is filled with discussion, some of it quite serious. And all topics in these forums, including this one, are open for all mfp users to participate in.Have explained myself very well, and there's no need for your response.
It was meant to spark a discussion, and it wasn't mean to be taken very seriously
I think you're jealous of OP's youth and posting inexperience, maybe?
I think it's important to define terms, too. I think of jealousy as anxiety & maybe anticipatory retribution-type behaviours around the potential loss of an object or person one feels one has a right to "own" (like in romantic jealousy, as in someone's jealous of a rival their partner may like)
and envy is more about admiration & identification (comparing yourself to someone else)
ie just what you said
I was thinking about the definitions I just gave, and thought to add to them a little more...jealousy is protective (wanting to guard what is rightfully mine) while envy is destructive (wanting to destroy what another person has or take what belongs to another person).0 -
Nope, there is no hormone that controls complex emotions and is gendered. This has more to do with socialization. Plus, men don't get jealous, are you serious? I've met plenty who do!
Also, I disagree with everyone who thinks that jealousy is beneficial. I think it points to insecurity.0 -
I have that hormone... it's called a boyfriend who perves at every remotely good-looking woman he sees. It's a hormone that's easy to get rid of thankfully.0
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guys can get jealous too. this one guy is jealous of my latest tattoo.0
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guys can get jealous too. this one guy is jealous of my latest tattoo.
Haha I recommended a bettter place for you bro
Uncle was a tattoo artist, I've got an eye for the good ones 0 -
I tend to try to get closer to people who have a trait I admire instead of pushing them away. I feel I have something I may be able to learn from them.
On the other hand, I hate competition. Not in the "I'll destroy my competition because I must win" sort of way, but in the "I don't understand the concept of competition, so I'll readily walk away if I'm put in a position where I must attempt to get ahead of someone else because winning and losing is, imo, a ridiculous concept." The only time I'm willing to even pretend to be competitive is with my dog when she wants to play tug of war, and I make sure to let her win roughly half the time so it's fun for her.
From a young age, though, we're kind of taught to deal with situations differently. Boys usually go for "yeah... I think I'm going to punch Jim... because Jim's kind of an *kitten*... Oi! Jim! C'mere!! Got somethin' for ya!" but girls usually go for "No... we won't touch her... but we'll liquify her soul and have it pour out her ears. How, you ask? We won't talk to her... No, no, silly, it's more than just simple not talking. We will glare and cold shoulder until she asks what's wrong, and then we'll hit her with '*scoff* WE aren't talking to YOU... *sneer*' and then ostracize her until she doesn't know which end is up. In two weeks, we won't even remember why we hate Melanie. We just will, and her social life will be OVER. She'll be plagued. If she ever wants to talk to anyone again, she'll have to convince her parents to take her to a different school district..."
We see it on tv, we see women in our lives do it, we're taught that we're kind of supposed to be evil that way.
It doesn't always sink in (I'm too lazy for all that. If I'm mad and you ask me why, I'll tell you so we can get it behind us and move on) but a lot of us do carry it into adulthood. It's not a gene, it's social conditioning which starts very, very early.0 -
I get jealous, yep. I'm not going to put a woman down, but I can think whatever I like in my head. And ladies - we all know "the look" when a woman is giving you the same stare down.
I find my jealousy definitely goes down when I'm at my happy weight - but it's always there. Even now I'm happily married, I still get so angry when my hubs has a glance at another woman. It makes me boil and all I do is compare myself to that woman.
Another thing that lead to my terrible self confidence is all through college I had a friend with awesome boobs. I have B's. Her influence actually made one of our friends get a boob job because she felt so crap about herself. To this day I still want new boobs. lol.
On the other hand, if I see a woman who is toned and tight (and on my own without hubs around) then I feel nothing but good things towards her because I know she worked hard for it.0 -
my ego prohibits jealousy. I pretty much always consider myself the smartest & most attractive person in the room. if somebody is hotter than me then i'm going to be pervy, not catty. if i'm being catty it's because I genuinely believe you to be a prat.
I suspect that, in general, a lot of cattiness gets put down to jealousy when it isn't. whenever two women dislike each other, online or off, some bozo will claim that one of them is just jealous. it's almost like women aren't allowed to dislike each other for any other reason.
...a classic example being the fake female account. any woman calling it out will be accused of jealousy of those pretty, fake face pics, despite the fact that most of us can spot the ''teehee'' fake women a mile off.0 -
Lol in b4 everyone claims no jealousy :laugh:
You're too late silly, it's already started
Ah silly me, thinking I'd catch it ahead of time0 -
Lol in b4 everyone claims no jealousy :laugh:
You're too late silly, it's already started
Ah silly me, thinking I'd catch it ahead of time
Haha you were just in time, as a matter of fact.
Though you clearly have had no reason to be jealous in your life 0 -
There is a difference between jealousy and envy, can I point out.
I am not a jealous person, but I can certainly be envious of something someone has. A girl I work with has the most beautiful, thick, waist length glossy hair that always looks perfect. I'm envious of that, and I have no shame in admitting it, but it doesn't mean that I have any ill will intended towards her or that I'm catty about it.
I'm a firm believer that jealousy is normally caused by a lack of confidence. And if I don't know what caused that lack of confidence, I won't judge.0 -
men are more jealous0
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Evolution. We want the best men so we can have the best babies. Duh.
Jokes aside . This is true0 -
men are more jealous
jokes aside . This is a joke.0 -
I don't think all women are jealous. What I do think is that women are much more secure about noticing that other women are attractive, and admitting it. I don't believe I have ever heard a straight man come out and say something like "wow that guy is good looking. I love his hair." I fully believe they think it though...they just don't say it.
I say it. Straight man who's perfectly happy to admire attractive men. And yes, I get jealous of them. It doesn't make me want to sabotage them to get my way though.0 -
Haven't read the whole thread, but all I know is, if I had a nickel for every thread I see that someone comains about someone and the next 30 responses are women all stating that there is no way the person in question could be anything other than a jealous b*tch, my unborn grandchildren would be set for life.0
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I haven't read the whole thread either but I think there is a difference between envy and jealousy. Jealousy is a lot more destructive.
Personally, I'm really not that jealous at at all. I trust hubby, I know that he loves me and finds me attractive so it doesn't matter at all to me whether he looks at someone else. Sexual contact would be something completely different though...that's crossing a boundary.
I suppose it depends how you feel about yourself too. I'm happy, comfortable and confident even though I'm nowhere near goal weight yet. I have my own hobbies and interests away from hubby so maybe that helps?
That said though, before I meet him, I dated some guys who I didn't feel secure with. I guess that's why I didn't marry them!
As for being jealous of other people? Not at all. I'm comfy in my own skin and very happy with my own life, lovehandles and all! :bigsmile:0 -
I think women have insecurities about their own looks, and often feel inferior to other women, so it may seem like jealousy but it's not. It's insecurity and envy. As many women have commented this is due to how we are socialised and objectified as we grow up. The beauty and fashion industry thrive on making women insecure, so that we buy more, because we think if we buy whatever miracle product we will look better and therefore not be so insecure.
As for actual jealousy between partners, well that's not gender related, that's based on 1. Personal insecurity 2. Trust. Some of my ex's have been crazy jealous, some haven't been jealous at all. Likewise with ex's who made me feel good and that I could trust I was never jealous, with ex's who were abusive and I couldn't trust I was mad jealous.0 -
I am not jealous of what other women are wearing or how they look. I am sometimes jealous of a woman's amazing skills, like a great musician or incredible vocalist. Perhaps your post is more a reflection of you rather than women in general?0
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