Women and jealousy

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Replies

  • From my few years on earth and even shorter time on this forum, it's apparent that women can be jealous beings. So my question is, do women have some sort of hormone that spikes jealousy levels? Not saying men don't get jealous too, but as a man I've never looked at someone much more attractive or more built than me and actually envied him. I may aspire to be better, but I can't grasp the concept beyond that.


    So, do you ladies have this hormone, and what is it called?
    What a spectacularly stupid post. I can't believe the number of considered responses this got. What an indictment on the lowest common denominator thinking that afflicts society in general. And I was about to tell a 13 year old on another thread to clear off, when we have displayed here a prime example of the level of maturity to be found on this site. Oh dear.
  • jaggerhawks
    jaggerhawks Posts: 187 Member
    I am not jealous of what other women are wearing or how they look. I am sometimes jealous of a woman's amazing skills, like a great musician or incredible vocalist. Perhaps your post is more a reflection of you rather than women in general?

    I suppose that was a jab at me being shallow and outwardly focused.

    Not so, I simply drew on that because in my opinion the outer appearance is first and often the easiest thing to be envious of. After all, you immediately see someone's appearance and be envious (or perhaps not) as opposed to needing to actually get to know their talents or abilities.
  • AbsyPernet
    AbsyPernet Posts: 145
    It's not what women HAVE.. its what they DONT have..

    Its called maturity. some get it sooner than others. Some never get it.

    Those that have this "cattiness / jealousy" thing between other women plain & simple just havent gotten it yet!



    Well said, my friend :D very true
  • jaggerhawks
    jaggerhawks Posts: 187 Member
    From my few years on earth and even shorter time on this forum, it's apparent that women can be jealous beings. So my question is, do women have some sort of hormone that spikes jealousy levels? Not saying men don't get jealous too, but as a man I've never looked at someone much more attractive or more built than me and actually envied him. I may aspire to be better, but I can't grasp the concept beyond that.


    So, do you ladies have this hormone, and what is it called?
    What a spectacularly stupid post. I can't believe the number of considered responses this got. What an indictment on the lowest common denominator thinking that afflicts society in general. And I was about to tell a 13 year old on another thread to clear off, when we have displayed here a prime example of the level of maturity to be found on this site. Oh dear.

    Well thank you for your fascinating input. I'm quite sorry that a silly thread online has the ability to cause such frustration, but each to his own
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
    I get jealous all the time.

    The difference between humanity and brutality isn't what you feel, it's what you do about it.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Jealousy seems to be a pretty big contributing factor in many wars. Wanting what someone else has. Desiring to take something (natural resources, citizens, space) from a whole group of people. Sometimes wars are started to protect an oppressed group. Those people became oppressed because the more powerful people were greedy and/or jealous.

    It's probably the same hormone. I guess men have it too.

    We just single out different genders to fit what we are socialized to believe. Female bosses are jealous and hard to work for. (Some are. There's a great deal of PITA male bosses too. We just don't focus on their gender.) Men cheat and are led around by their junk. (Some men do. Some women do too.)
  • "Jokey" posts abound in "Chit Chat". Idiotic post deserves idiotic responses not an attempt to reason with the cerebrally-challenged.

    There is nothing tongue-in-cheek about this sort of comment (which you come across in different guises on the internet and in real life). Fundamentally they imply that women are hormonally-driven clueless dolts who can't help but be insecure and tear each other down etc&c. Whilst men are of course so noble and logical and would never behave like "the wimmenz". Enough of that nonsense. I'm out.
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
    Also interesting though: I'm a classical singer so I have a lot of contact with religious texts as expressed in the 17th-19th centuries. The biblical god is often described as "jealous", and it's definitely a very masculine take on the deity in question.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    "Jokey" posts abound in "Chit Chat". Idiotic post deserves idiotic responses not an attempt to reason with the cerebrally-challenged.

    There is nothing tongue-in-cheek about this sort of comment (which you come across in different guises on the internet and in real life). Fundamentally they imply that women are hormonally-driven clueless dolts who can't help but be insecure and tear each other down etc&c. Whilst men are of course so noble and logical and would never behave like "the wimmenz". Enough of that nonsense. I'm out.
    as I said in my post, out, a lot of the time I see perfectly justified loathing being dismissed as jealousy because the participants are female. I was really well behaved and said it without calling people names. just this once.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    So much unmitigated rage. I think this post is the least of your problems.
    I think it's justified rage. but i'm not raging today because I have a tummy ache.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    We don't like our competition.

    We've been wired since we were young that we should aspire to be the prettiest girl in the room, always. Because that girl gets everything good. Beauty means everything. Its all we've been told our entire lives. So naturally, we get jealous of our competition, her presence knocks your worth down a few pegs.

    This. I will admit to being envious of other women, especially those who have been skinny all their lives and never had to worry about food as I have been overweight since puberty and have never had the chance to be the pretty skinny girl. Most of it is based on your own experience meshing with the environment you're in. :)
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    ha! I'm not jelly at all...and its my unfortunate experience that its men who are always jealous...and violently so. So no, there is no hormone forgodssake!

    tumblr_mr4pfsnn9b1riqa2mo1_250.gif
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    Women hate women
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
    "People who make the choice to study, work hard or do whatever they endeavor is to give it the max on themselves to reach to the top level. And you have the people who get envy and jealous, yet are not willing to put that work in, and they want to get the same praise."
    ~Evander Holyfield
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    From my few years on earth and even shorter time on this forum, it's apparent that women can be jealous beings. So my question is, do women have some sort of hormone that spikes jealousy levels? Not saying men don't get jealous too, but as a man I've never looked at someone much more attractive or more built than me and actually envied him. I may aspire to be better, but I can't grasp the concept beyond that.


    So, do you ladies have this hormone, and what is it called?
    Some women are horrible people.

    We aren't all like that. I don't even think a majority of women are like that. I have had a lot of close female friends in my time and only a small handful were the jealous kind and they weren't my friends very long.
  • jaggerhawks
    jaggerhawks Posts: 187 Member
    So much unmitigated rage. I think this post is the least of your problems.
    I think it's justified rage. but i'm not raging today because I have a tummy ache.

    Usually rage is justifiable is when something has purposefully been done against you...I doubt a thread floating out on the internet should hold such a sway over emotions
  • HotMummyMission
    HotMummyMission Posts: 1,723 Member
    We don't like our competition.

    We've been wired since we were young that we should aspire to be the prettiest girl in the room, always. Because that girl gets everything good. Beauty means everything. Its all we've been told our entire lives. So naturally, we get jealous of our competition, her presence knocks your worth down a few pegs.

    This this and this but i have a heart of gold so i wudnt dream of putting somebody eles down it just pushes me to do better or go home hahha
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    and now I must go vomit.

    I demand sympathy!
  • gensteele1
    gensteele1 Posts: 60 Member
    It is very interesting. As a woman, I never realized the jealous/envy factor until I started my weight journey. I have lost about 18lbs mainly from heavy lifting. Its been a wonderful journey so far and I can't believe all of the things by body has shown me. What I have seen is that most of the men at the gym are quick to compliment and say "wow, you've come a long way" or "you're looking good", etc. The women I encounter are the complete opposite. They will stare incessantly, but will never speak, nor smile. Its very judging and I'm sure they are thinking progress has been made with this woman, but I shall NOT compliment much less acknowledge the same. Its very sad. I have no problem complementing another individual, male or female. Do I size myself up, sure, all of us do (men and women), but it all boils down to insecurity and ladies, you better get a grip. There will always be someone who is taller, shorter, heavier, thinner, and prettier than you. Deal with it. That is all!
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    ^^assumptions on motivations.
  • jaggerhawks
    jaggerhawks Posts: 187 Member
    So much unmitigated rage. I think this post is the least of your problems.
    I think it's justified rage. but i'm not raging today because I have a tummy ache.

    Usually rage is justifiable is when something has purposefully been done against you...I doubt a thread floating out on the internet should hold such a sway over emotions
    if you made a racist thread, even if you didn't think you were racist, I would feel rage. even though i'm white.

    your logic. I killed it. neener.

    Well that is you personally. You cannot base the normal reaction of a harmless thread upon your own rage-happy nature.

    Plus, to compare this thread to a racist one is quite silly. This discussion is also quite silly.
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
    Women hate women

    I love women...sometimes I wish I batted for the other team. :laugh:
  • i think it might be a security thing. women more than men feel the need to be secure so find any small thing might be a threat to that security. (i know i have done this myself) Men i think are more outgoing and dont need so much. even a small difference may make all the difference. :smile:
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
    There's a difference between jealousy and envy. Envy is desiring something that someone else has - it does not necessarily mean that that precise somethingneeds to change "owners". One doesn't necessarily covet something with intent to obtain that same something. For instance I can be envious of another woman's dress while being fully aware that that same dress would look fugly on me.

    Jealousy, on the other hand is all about trust and (self) confidence. Jealousy is when someone thinks that someone else covets something or someone that they "own" and will take steps to "obtain" the object of their... fancy, AND (and this is the important part) when the object of their fancy will happily prance over to the other side.

    Now, whenever a woman or a man is reasonably sure that their significant other is willing to replace them, then the only reason for thinking it is either that 1) the jealous person has low self esteem along the lines of "of course he/she'll go for her/him instead of me, I'm so horrible and dumb and ugly anyways" or 2) the object of jealousy has done something to undermine the trust in the relationship along the lines of "he/she has lied to me before, perhaps is lying now, too. that playa can't be trusted to go to the supermarket and not flirt with anyone remotely human-shaped".

    It could also be a combination of 1 and 2 - the jealous person got cheated on by a total idiot and therefore has issues with trust and low self esteem in the new relationship even though the new person hasn't actually DONE anything.

    edited to add: it could also be low self esteem combined with extreme narcissism. where the jealous person thinks everyone they date are jerks/*****es and are constantly leaving for other people. where instead what they're doing is leaving the narcissist.
  • jaggerhawks
    jaggerhawks Posts: 187 Member
    ha! I'm not jelly at all...and its my unfortunate experience that its men who are always jealous...and violently so. So no, there is no hormone forgodssake!

    Men are always violently jealous? Well I suppose that works, since this is a thread of generalizations..

    Women hate women

    I love women...sometimes I wish I batted for the other team. :laugh:

    If you ever did, that would be a sad loss for the men
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    So much unmitigated rage. I think this post is the least of your problems.
    I think it's justified rage. but i'm not raging today because I have a tummy ache.

    Usually rage is justifiable is when something has purposefully been done against you...I doubt a thread floating out on the internet should hold such a sway over emotions
    if you made a racist thread, even if you didn't think you were racist, I would feel rage. even though i'm white.

    your logic. I killed it. neener.

    Well that is you personally. You cannot base the normal reaction of a harmless thread upon your own rage-happy nature.

    Plus, to compare this thread to a racist one is quite silly. This discussion is also quite silly.
    why would making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on gender be morally better than making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on colour?

    you dismissing what I see as justified offence to an insult aimed directly at me, as a woman, as silly is also pretty insulting.
  • jaggerhawks
    jaggerhawks Posts: 187 Member
    why would making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on gender be morally better than making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on colour?

    you dismissing what I see as justified offence to an insult aimed directly at me, as a woman, as silly is also pretty insulting.

    Ah well my sincerest apologies for offending you with my brash statements and sweeping generalizations. Please feel free to further play the victim card and take the slightest statement as an insult, it's quite attractive and compelling ;)
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    and i'm not raging. I told you, I have tummy ache.
    and none of you meanies have provided any sympathy at all!
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
    why would making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on gender be morally better than making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on colour?

    you dismissing what I see as justified offence to an insult aimed directly at me, as a woman, as silly is also pretty insulting.

    Ah well my sincerest apologies for offending you with my brash statements and sweeping generalizations. Please feel free to further play the victim card and take the slightest statement as an insult, it's quite attractive and compelling ;)

    hey now, play nice

    Why can't we all just get along?? :sad:

    not srs.
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
    it's about social behavior in this case, not so much biochemistry: female humans are more social creatures when compared with male humans. females (typically) are all about reliance upon interaction with other other humans, whereas men (typically) are geared to be more socially independent. jealousy is an ugly, inevitable side-effect of putting multiple humans in the same jar and shaking it up. it's the same feeling in men and women--it only seems more obvious in women because women are more social to begin with.