Women and jealousy

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  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
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    I assume you mean "envy" not "jealousy." Short answer: Men are subject to far fewer societal judgments and are socialized differently.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,713 Member
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    why would making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on gender be morally better than making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on colour?

    you dismissing what I see as justified offence to an insult aimed directly at me, as a woman, as silly is also pretty insulting.

    Ah well my sincerest apologies for offending you with my brash statements and sweeping generalizations. Please feel free to further play the victim card and take the slightest statement as an insult, it's quite attractive and compelling ;)

    hey now, play nice

    Why can't we all just get along?? :sad:

    not srs.
    he's right though. everything I do is attractive and compelling.
    and anyone objecting to being labelled is playing victim.
  • UndercoverAngel74
    UndercoverAngel74 Posts: 185 Member
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    In my opinion, women who are more attractive get more attention so a lot of women become envious. They simply want to be noticed. What I think a lot of women don't realize is that the people who are getting all the attention show their personality more. It's much easier to be around confident, out going, friendly people.
  • Th3stral
    Th3stral Posts: 93 Member
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    I couldn't possibly comment on what does, or doesn't motivate other women because I don't have the balls to pretend to know. I do know that I don't suffer jealousy really at all. I can't say I'd be overly happy if I saw some woman fawning over my husband, but then he wouldn't be overly happy if he found some man fawning over me! If someone is better looking, prettier, in better shape, more intelligent etc than me then good for them. Unless it's something I aspire too and would actually be achievable for me, in which case I aspire to them rather than try to pull them back.

    Lets face it enough people must have aspired to achieve what others have rather than holding them back otherwise we'd still all be living in caves and using twigs to get sap and insects out of trees for food!
  • Stump_Likker
    Stump_Likker Posts: 2,059 Member
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    Some people, male and female, want all eyes on them. Personally if I'm around a woman who is like that, I let them have at it. It's not my thing. As far as jealousy, what's the point? If someone has something that I want, a great body for instance, then I will work on having a great body. If they have a million dollars, well I'm not going to have that. So why be jealous?
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,713 Member
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    if women were catty to beautiful women, I would be subjected to cattiness constantly.
  • jaggerhawks
    jaggerhawks Posts: 187 Member
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    why would making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on gender be morally better than making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on colour?

    you dismissing what I see as justified offence to an insult aimed directly at me, as a woman, as silly is also pretty insulting.

    Ah well my sincerest apologies for offending you with my brash statements and sweeping generalizations. Please feel free to further play the victim card and take the slightest statement as an insult, it's quite attractive and compelling ;)

    hey now, play nice

    Why can't we all just get along?? :sad:

    not srs.

    I believe you and I are getting along just fine :laugh: Let's not worry ourselves with insignificant details
  • NicoleisQuantized
    NicoleisQuantized Posts: 344 Member
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    I actually think a woman's ability to be a jealous bish is directly related to how poorly she's been treated over the years of her life. If she's young and has been treated well, she's barely ever jealous; if she's old and has been treated well she's even less jealous. If, however, she's young and has been treated poorly, she's learning to envy the lives of others and if she's old and has been treated poorly for years, she's bitter and angry and hurt... and very jealous.

    So next time you wonder why someone is jealous, consider they could have been terribly hurt at one time.

    /endthread

    This is very true.
  • askeates
    askeates Posts: 1,490 Member
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    Ok, so I'm going to just ignore some of the nastier comments and only address myself... Not going to presume to understand others feelings :wink:

    When I was much younger, I hated being around other women, they were always petty... Looking back I now realize it was because I was blonde haired, blue eyed, and at 5'7' was 125-130 pounds (US size 6-8) fairly attractive in my own right. The ladies in my family are drop-dead gorgeous, so I never really thought anything of how I looked, because in my eyes I didn't even come close to comparing with them, why bother.

    Do I get jealous of other women? There have been times (not gonna lie), but for me growing up in the shadows of the gorgeous (and OMG intellegent women of my family (one is an Aero Space Engineer, highly sought after in her field)). Most of the time, I look at women that are beautiful with appreciation. It's just how I was raised....

    Now on the flip side... I am a people watcher, and I will look at how some women dress and just OMG it to death! I'm a big girl still (working on changing that, now a size 14-16), and I see girls twice my size wearing clothes that my toddler MIGHT wear... HOLY CRAP BATMAN! REALLY????

    So my question about women isn't so much about jealousy... More along the lines of how can a woman dress (and I use dress very losely) that way and not expect people to be amazed (in a negative way)?? How much pride do you have in yourself to let your fat rolls and your sn!@#$% hang out that way??
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    I actually think a woman's ability to be a jealous bish is directly related to how poorly she's been treated over the years of her life. If she's young and has been treated well, she's barely ever jealous; if she's old and has been treated well she's even less jealous. If, however, she's young and has been treated poorly, she's learning to envy the lives of others and if she's old and has been treated poorly for years, she's bitter and angry and hurt... and very jealous.

    So next time you wonder why someone is jealous, consider they could have been terribly hurt at one time.

    ^ This, although it applies to men and women alike. I personally think that some of the perceived differences here are from how men and women are socialized differently from each other. Women who grew up as "tom boys" or involved in sports usually handle these things differently, IMHO, which is why I'm pushing my daughters that direction. I think sports teaches some very important life lessons about how to deal with the competition. But again, there are plenty of guys who act like catty PIAs.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    I actually think a woman's ability to be a jealous bish is directly related to how poorly she's been treated over the years of her life. If she's young and has been treated well, she's barely ever jealous; if she's old and has been treated well she's even less jealous. If, however, she's young and has been treated poorly, she's learning to envy the lives of others and if she's old and has been treated poorly for years, she's bitter and angry and hurt... and very jealous.

    So next time you wonder why someone is jealous, consider they could have been terribly hurt at one time.

    /endthread

    This is very true.

    Agreed.
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
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    I only ever get jealous if the man I'm dating or interested in, is paying attention to another girl. I do not get jealous of women who look better than me. I had a girlfriend who was constantly putting down other women and thinking that her guy (whoever he was at the time) was looking at other women. She was paranoid and crazy. I don't understand that, but I'm sure there was something messed up in her life growing up that made her that way.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,713 Member
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    why would making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on gender be morally better than making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on colour?

    you dismissing what I see as justified offence to an insult aimed directly at me, as a woman, as silly is also pretty insulting.

    Ah well my sincerest apologies for offending you with my brash statements and sweeping generalizations. Please feel free to further play the victim card and take the slightest statement as an insult, it's quite attractive and compelling ;)

    hey now, play nice

    Why can't we all just get along?? :sad:

    not srs.

    I believe you and I are getting along just fine :laugh: Let's not worry ourselves with insignificant details
    ^^cattiness. you must be jealous of me.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    Root Cause Analysis Dept.
    Mothers with daughters: your daughter isn't going to believe you when you tell her shes beautiful one moment and the next moment look at yourself in the mirror and tear yourself apart. Father's, I think share the bulk of that responsibility and also-- leading by example towards her mother and her-- teaching his daughter what respect is.

    We men step up and do that, we nip a lot of this societal, pop-culture claptrap in the bud.

    I think this is worth a bump too.
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
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    ha! I'm not jelly at all...and its my unfortunate experience that its men who are always jealous...and violently so. So no, there is no hormone forgodssake!

    Men are always violently jealous? Well I suppose that works, since this is a thread of generalizations..


    My point exactly! People are mere carbon copies of each other

    tumblr_mr4pbdkpms1riqa2mo1_250.gif
  • Scarlett_S
    Scarlett_S Posts: 467 Member
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    I think that as you get older you tend to be less jealous unless you are placed in a situation that warrants it. For example, if I see a woman who is dressed nicely or looks good I tend to think *good for her* or admire how her outfit is put together. If I love someone's shoes I tell them. If I see someone lifting heavier or going harder than me at the gym I tend to admire them; not be jealous - it inspires me to do more. I think jealousy, for the most part, comes from insecurities within ourselves we need to address.

    BUT - put me in a situation where someone is overlooking me and hitting on my husband blatantly or something of that nature, its a whole different story.
  • mummum2
    mummum2 Posts: 415 Member
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    It's not what women HAVE.. its what they DONT have..

    Its called maturity. some get it sooner than others. Some never get it.

    Those that have this "cattiness / jealousy" thing between other women plain & simple just havent gotten it yet!

    ^^^^ beautifully said.....and ditto from me!!
  • jaggerhawks
    jaggerhawks Posts: 187 Member
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    ^ This, although it applies to men and women alike. I personally think that some of the perceived differences here are from how men and women are socialized differently from each other. Women who grew up as "tom boys" or involved in sports usually handle these things differently, IMHO, which is why I'm pushing my daughters that direction. I think sports teaches some very important life lessons about how to deal with the competition. But again, there are plenty of guys who act like catty PIAs.

    True...strong nature v. nurture debate within this.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    I only ever get jealous if the man I'm dating or interested in, is paying attention to another girl. I do not get jealous of women who look better than me. I had a girlfriend who was constantly putting down other women and thinking that her guy (whoever he was at the time) was looking at other women. She was paranoid and crazy. I don't understand that, but I'm sure there was something messed up in her life growing up that made her that way.

    This is interesting, too. I never had problems with jealousy issues UNTIL I dated a guy who complimented every girl in the room but me. After a year or so of hearing how hot every other woman was, my confidence took a serious beating and it impacted the way I looked at other women.

    Happy to report that the loser is gone and I'm back to normal :-)
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
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    why would making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on gender be morally better than making sweeping, negative generalisations about people based on colour?

    you dismissing what I see as justified offence to an insult aimed directly at me, as a woman, as silly is also pretty insulting.

    Ah well my sincerest apologies for offending you with my brash statements and sweeping generalizations. Please feel free to further play the victim card and take the slightest statement as an insult, it's quite attractive and compelling ;)

    hey now, play nice

    Why can't we all just get along?? :sad:

    not srs.

    I believe you and I are getting along just fine :laugh: Let's not worry ourselves with insignificant details

    Picking and choosing your battles, eh? The Misc. has taught you well.