Need help with a PURELY hypothetical situation.

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123578

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  • Maddalen101
    Maddalen101 Posts: 307 Member
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    Donate them all to Westboro Baptist Church! They love practical jokes like that.

    Oh, and make sure the return address is also someone you don't like.


    I second this suggestion!
  • jetlag
    jetlag Posts: 800 Member
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    I say send them to Tracy Emin. I'm sure she could do something very interesting with them.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    In some countries, it is required by law to put them with your recycling instead of the trash.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Lmao!! Who needs a bag of *kitten* lol One's not enough? Kinky, triple penetration?

    Okay Ms. Judgy McJudgerson maybe she was a collector?

    Ducks.in_.a.row_.condense.jpg

    He who throws the first duck, must duck! No seriously DUCK! Incoming!
  • LabAgility
    LabAgility Posts: 120 Member
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    I always wanted to start a business just for situations like these.

    You pay a small fee as a retainer . If something happens I will open your home, take all the lube, porn, toys, etc... Then I will replace it with lifetime movies, a bible, letters from kids in other countries you've been supporting, etc.

    Instant image change: from a kinkster to a do-gooder your family would be proud of!
  • tehboxingkitteh
    tehboxingkitteh Posts: 1,574 Member
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    Bury them in the backyard so the next owner with a dog will have the pleasure of finding the buried treasure. Even have a mini ceremony, grave markers and everything.
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
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    Lmao!! Who needs a bag of *kitten* lol One's not enough? Kinky, triple penetration?

    It makes you feel more slutty, like you're with a bunch of different guys taknig turns.

    Makes sense
  • Pangea250
    Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
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    1. Take the ducks to a stranger's garage sale (preferably a girl scout/boy scout or church mission fundraiser.)

    2. Quietly place the ducks on a crowded table when no one is looking.

    3. Stand where you can discreetly photograph the faces of the shoppers with your iPhone.

    4. Post the pictures here.
    OMG. You win for funniest post of the day!
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
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    Lmao!! Who needs a bag of *kitten* lol One's not enough? Kinky, triple penetration?

    Okay Ms. Judgy McJudgerson maybe she was a collector?

    Ducks.in_.a.row_.condense.jpg

    He who throws the first duck, must duck! No seriously DUCK! Incoming!

    Lmao!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    It's sad that you're obviously making this post to try to be funny or get attention at your deceased relative's expense, especially w/your family photo right there on your profile. I believe that you actually found these things, and also believe that you know what to do w/them...because it's obvious you should trash them. How would you feel if someone was going through YOUR things after you died & found a questionable item & decided to turn it into a big laugh on a public website. Have a little respect for the dead.

    Wouldn't care because.....ummm.....dead.

    Besides, when it's a person you loved dearly, sometimes laughter helps heal the pain of a loss. I hope when I die, people find something to laugh about when they clear out my junk. Just don't open the red box marked "Cleveland."

    Yeah... and for all you know the dead person might have found this whole thing quite hysterical. I mean you can't be too uptight if you keep a big back of d*cks lying around.

    Literally.
  • Bean515
    Bean515 Posts: 97
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    Use them as jolly alternatives to garden gnomes.
    If they are of differing sizes and colours you could also create a back garden chess set.
    Invite Grandma round for a game

    ^ this. You could affix them to a tree like those gnome faces....
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    It's sad that you're obviously making this post to try to be funny or get attention at your deceased relative's expense, especially w/your family photo right there on your profile. I believe that you actually found these things, and also believe that you know what to do w/them...because it's obvious you should trash them. How would you feel if someone was going through YOUR things after you died & found a questionable item & decided to turn it into a big laugh on a public website. Have a little respect for the dead.

    Wouldn't care because.....ummm.....dead.

    Besides, when it's a person you loved dearly, sometimes laughter helps heal the pain of a loss. I hope when I die, people find something to laugh about when they clear out my junk. Just don't open the red box marked "Cleveland."

    Not only dead, but with that many toys, probably died a happy. :smokin:
    That's how I'm going out!

    Oh shoot. The visual...I can't. even.
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
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    I actually just wanted to IBTL but I was curious, so Google.

    http://www.sextoyrecycling.com/howitworks.html

    Their tagline: "Love Yourself, Love The Planet"

    I'm dying reading their "Improvised Pleasure Devices" suggestions.

    If you need a ... toy there may be one closer than you think, in your refrigerator or around the house. Fruits and vegetables like bananas and cucumbers make a simple and inexpensive substitute for a d...o. Many common items like electric toothbrushes or hairbrush handles can also be used for pleasure. And with a little imagination and ingenuity, you can create improvised ... toys and give a second life to materials like plastic bags, shampoo bottles, toilet paper tubes, and rubber gloves. :laugh:
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    It's sad that you're obviously making this post to try to be funny or get attention at your deceased relative's expense, especially w/your family photo right there on your profile. I believe that you actually found these things, and also believe that you know what to do w/them...because it's obvious you should trash them. How would you feel if someone was going through YOUR things after you died & found a questionable item & decided to turn it into a big laugh on a public website. Have a little respect for the dead.

    Wouldn't care because.....ummm.....dead.

    Besides, when it's a person you loved dearly, sometimes laughter helps heal the pain of a loss. I hope when I die, people find something to laugh about when they clear out my junk. Just don't open the red box marked "Cleveland."

    Yeah... and for all you know the dead person might have found this whole thing quite hysterical. I mean you can't be too uptight if you keep a big back of d*cks lying around.

    Literally.

    Ah... I see you caught my intentional double entendre... wish I had caught the spelling error before it was quoted though. :(
  • mperrott2205
    mperrott2205 Posts: 737 Member
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    ebay.
  • classictoaster
    classictoaster Posts: 197
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    Hypothetically, people keep digging through the dumpster. I don't want them finding THAT! Especially people who, hypothetically knew this person.

    Who cares if someone finds them? It's not shameful lol. Also, throwing them away would DEFINITELY keep people from digging through your dumpster if they happened across them. ;)
  • Melissa22G
    Melissa22G Posts: 847 Member
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    Hold on! I will send you my address in a PM!



    I *knew* one of my friends would respond!
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
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    1. Take the ducks to a stranger's garage sale (preferably a girl scout/boy scout or church mission fundraiser.)

    2. Quietly place the ducks on a crowded table when no one is looking.

    3. Stand where you can discreetly photograph the faces of the shoppers with your iPhone.

    4. Post the pictures here.

    Yes. I like this even better than donating to Westboro Baptist. Maybe OP can split up the loot and go halfsies.
  • Pangea250
    Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
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    graphics-ducks-775487.gif

    Are these...battery-operated ducks?
  • leopardjunkie
    leopardjunkie Posts: 149
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    Throw them away the trash truck drivers are hillarious when they find ducks in their pile! HA HA
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